If you’ve ever ventured into the dating arena, and at some point we all have, you’ve probably either done it or had it done to you, or both. Yup, we’re talking about ghosting — a deep urge to cut off all communication and vaporize into thin air — which has been a part of the modern dating vocabulary for years.

This simple, silent adieu can strike daters at virtually any time. You might realize you have nothing in common by the end of the third date. Or you may discover there’s literally zero chemistry between the two of you right before the three-month mark. But as it turns out, sometimes all it takes is one rude, infuriating, and straight-up creepy conversation.

Several days ago, user Bock314 reached out to the women of ‘Ask Reddit,’ inviting them to share the things men do that make them “ghostable.” And as soon as the responses started rolling in, their tales show just how bad things can get. Women opened up about the wild situations where men went too far, which made ghosting seem acceptable, healthy, and even necessary. We’ve gathered some real-life stories that tick all the boxes for what you should never do while pursuing love. So continue scrolling to check everything out!

Psst! After you’re finished with this list, don’t forget to check out our earlier pieces featuring men making questionable decisions right here.

#1

I met a guy at a bar once. He seemed like a nice guy and we exchanged numbers.

The following week, he asked me out. I told him I couldn’t that night, but I was free tomorrow.

Why? He asked. I told him I had a funeral tomorrow morning and just didn’t feel like going out. “What time is the funeral?” he said. “I won’t stay too long, please I really want to see you…”

He wouldn’t take no for an answer, and to me that is a HUGE red flag. I ghosted him after that.

Image credits: imvital

#2

Went out on a coffee date with a guy. He admitted that he placed a GPS tracker in his ex’s car to track her without her knowledge.

Immediately no.

Image credits: salty-MA-student

#3

Send unsolicited nudes and still have the audacity to ask if I want some of it

Image credits: Feisty-Life-6555

#4

Spamming you with messages. Anything past 5 in a row is creepy
I once had a guy spam me with 300 voice notes when I went on holiday and couldn’t be on my phone 24/7.

Image credits: YOUfan104

#5

Not respecting boundaries. Instant no.

Image credits: mamalion12

#6

Talk about how they treated their exes, children, and employees in a way that demonstrates they are clearly controlling and toxic w/o realizing it.

Image credits: CassBon

#7

Any hint of violent tendencies or general anger management issues. Immediate block, not dealing with that. If I feel threatened, your feelings about being ghosted do not supersede mine of feeling safe.

Image credits: Shocking-1

#8

One guy texted me after our first date that he wanted to put me in a pokeball so he could keep me forever and only take me out when he wanted me… and then texted a load of abuse when I didn’t reply immediately (I was trying to figure out wtf to even say to that!)

So yeah, that.

Image credits: HazelKathleen

#9

When you’ve known them for a whole 10 minutes and they’re already making sexual comments.

Image credits: Chersvette

#10

Telling me you like me better with X or you’re glad I don’t do Y like some girls. Complimenting me by putting others down is a no for me dog.

Image credits: Head_Lifeguard3999

#11

Someone that doesn’t try to maintain a conversation with you. Like you’re basically talking to yourself.

Image credits: meh1903

#12

Giving attitude or guilt trips before even meeting. Had one guy who when I didn’t respond fast enough to his liking started in with the ‘ok well I guess you don’t want to talk then’ passive aggressive comments. Instant no.

Image credits: The_Rural_Banshee

#13

Call me nicknames like “sweetheart” or “baby girl” when I’ve never met them before.

Image credits: HelenStocks

#14

i’ve ghosted guys that have had crazy road rage while in the car with me. if you scream and curse at the top of your lungs and hit your steering wheel etc just because someone didn’t merge fast enough for you I don’t want to be around you lol.

Image credits: lilly47

#15

Back when I worked night shift at the hospital. Guy I was newly dating wanted to hangout that night before my shift, around 5pm. I tried to explain that I would be sleeping until my shift, and that 5pm was like 5am to me and I did NOT want to hang out. He didn’t get it. He proceeded to ignore my wishes and let himself into my apartment to “surprise” me by tickling my feet while I slept. I definitely ghosted him, and also changed the locks.

Image credits: palebluedot_resident

#16

Not being able to carry a conversation in person and text. Just because you ask me how I’m doing 5 times a day doesn’t make you a cunning linguist.

Image credits: KimonoMom

#17

Insult my people.

I can say what I want. I’ve known my mom for nearly 40 years and can call her crazy all day long if I so choose. If you call her crazy you’ll be lucky if ghosted is all you get.

Image credits: Kmammy

#18

Assumptions. They make you seem really controlling.

“I bet you only like guys who go to the gym. You’re probably one of those people who orders appetizers. You probably only go to the club on the weekend. You probably believe in astrology. “

Context matters, but to just come out and say some things makes me second-guess myself, which is the first step to controlling my behavior.

Image credits: canyoupassthecorn

#19

I was on a date once when I was much younger where I realized the guy was manipulating and lying to me in order to have sex with me, and pushing my physical boundaries way too much despite my very clear protests (e.g. “I’m not going to take my shirt off.” Then the guy sticks his hands up under my shirt). It took way too long to convince him to get away from me so I could leave, while having to be polite out of fear of what he might do in retaliation. I sincerely feared I was going to be date r*ped. It was a shame because we’d actually been having a fairly nice time up until then.

So… yeah, that. Naive go-with-the-flo even felt bad about not returning his texts for a while.

EDIT: Oh, just remembered this fun nugget he dropped while trying to pressure me into going further — “But that’s what fun girls do!” Bro.

Image credits: go-with-the-flo

#20

Being rude to the service staff. There is no excuse for it, and it means you are just an a*****e.

Image credits: TheSecularGlass

#21

Making demands thinking they’re being suave or manly(?)

I went out for a drink with a guy once. When the bartender came by, he ordered some drink for me that I knew I wouldn’t like. I said “No I’ll have-“ and he just interrupted me and said “NO, you’re drinking what I ordered you”.

Another time, an old friend found out I was going to be in his town and sent me a message saying “ok we’re going to hang out”. I was going there for a funeral so I said ‘no, I won’t have time and don’t feel like it’. He wrote back “LOL no we’re hanging out, you don’t get a say”.

I end up never speaking to them again.

#22

When they only ever talk abt themselves. And they don’t even realise

Image credits: tintaapple

#23

I got covid and had to cancel a date. I sent him a picture of my two positive tests, just to reassure him it wasn’t anything he’d done to make me cancel. Honestly he’d seemed a bit insecure when we’d talked prior to this and instead of heeding that red flag I had just offered him reassurance up to that point. He said he had a crappy ex who made him feel insecure and I felt some sympathy for him. Well, he accused me of not being interested and faking covid to get out of a date with him. As if I wouldn’t just tell him the truth and cancel? We’re in our 30’s.

I think he thought I was going to fawn all over him and beg him to hang out or tell him it wasn’t really covid or something. But instead I called him out on his sh**ty behavior and he quickly tried to backpedal and say he was just kidding (he wasn’t. It was obvious.) I left him on read and ghosted. He happened to see me on a dating app about a month later and tried to hit me up like nothing had ever happened. I ignored him.

The funny thing is, is that he had to cancel our original first date planned the week before because of a work commitment and I was totally understanding about it. S**t happens. Guess he couldn’t extend that same courtesy to me when I got sick.

Another red flag I ignored was him telling me that “girls don’t want nice guys like me, they want bad boys who treat them like s**t and that’s why I’m single, I’m too good of a guy to them.” Ugh. Glad I ghosted.

#24

The last guy I went on a date with before I met my husband comes to mind. This guy and I clicked pretty fast and had a wonderful all-day adventure as a first date. He lived 1.5 hours away from me.

We were messaging for a day after the date and everything seemed to be going well. He then asked if I wanted to meet him that weekend for his friends’ New Year party. I told him sorry I had plans to go to one with my friends, but I’d love to meet up the next day.

After about 10 minutes he called me. I answered all happily, thinking we were going to plan the next date. He sounded pissed and said forcefully, “You’re not going with your friends to that party.” “……um. why not…?” “Because other guys will be there. And you’re with me.” “Hey you know, I enjoyed our first date but I don’t think this is going to work. ” “YOU F*****G B***H. YOU’RE NOT EVEN THAT HOT ANY…” *click.*

He starts sending apology texts and after 3 back to back, I blocked and ghosted. Ew.

Had a blast at my party!

#25

When they come on strong sexually from the jump.

Years ago when I was on tinder men would message asking if they’d correctly guessed my bra size before even saying hi.

Or they’d ask my favourite sex position, or if I swallow, or if I’m flexible, or if I thought I could handle their d***s.

Like Jesus Christ what would compel anyone to respond to messages like that?? From someone apparently 1km away from me? Of course I’m ghosting.

And blocking.

And reporting.

Image credits: crospingtonfrotz

#26

Yeah, I used to try and make sure I don’t ghost people because I felt it was “more mature”.

WRONG. I’ve had guys go absolute postal even after only talking for a month. I’m talking insults, threats, using multiple numbers, using their friends accounts to talk to me, etc.

If I have ANY indication that you cannot handle rejection; ghosted.

#27

Negging or other forms of “c’mon, I’m just joking” forms of devaluation. I have absolutely no tolerance for it anymore. Men if you are reading this and you do it, understand it is a form of emotional abuse and you are giving off abuser red flags.

Image credits: SoFlaBarbie

#28

When they only compliment you and don’t let the conversation flow. Example
-You have the most beautiful smile
-thank you, you too. How’s your day?
-you look sexy in that pic
-haha thanks, I see you like playing the guitar, how long have you been playing
-Your eyes are like….

Like goddammit cut the b******t

#29

I start to ghost when I feel like they aren’t putting any effort in, one word replys, acting disinterested, most men don’t like being treated exactly they way they are treating you.

Image credits: Ok-Wealth2143

#30

Persist in asking me “what are you wearing” every. single. f*****g. day.

Clothes, ok buddy? I’m wearing f*****g clothes.

#31

I met a guy once where I was living (I approached him) and we went on a date that evening.

He showed up with his friend to be the DD, no big deal to me, happy to have a DD and to get to know the guy with another person around. Felt safe.

He started acting a little weird on the way, but I figured he was just nervous.

We got to the resturaunt and he sat next to me, and angled his chair away from the table to look directly at me. I had mentioned a few times like “hey, you can like… face the table and still talk..?” But he wanted to talk face to face.
I was sitting on the inside seat, with my right side to the wall so it was very weird.

Eventually we ordered food and when it arrived, he was STILL facing me but NOW he was telling me that he was “starviiiing” so I was like “well, the food is here so that might help you out?” He never ate at all, and took his food to go.

Once we left, which was pretty quickly after food arrived because I was just done with this dude, we got the the apartments and he had to pass me in the hallway to get to his room. Instead of just going to his damn room, when I opened my door he FELL INTO THE OPEN DOOR and crawled to my bed and told me that he felt sick and wanted me to lay down to cuddle him to feel better.

I was kind of just standing there, shocked and staring at him, told him he needed to leave.

He refused and told me he was just in so much pain and needed me to cuddle him.

I asked him if he was *really* in pain, and acted concerned
He said yes, that he was. I was like “alright, then I’m calling security and you’re getting an ambulance.”

That evening my friend/coworker was actually standing security that night, and I knew she would throw his a*s out.

So as soon as I said that he literally jumped from my bed and left to go to his apartment.

I locked the door and ghosted him, for obvious reasons. I think he was on drugs and took to much or something, he was acting VERY, VERY weird.

He later told me that I was like a dumpster fire for ghosting him, and I was like “well at least I’m not a literal dumpster unlike some people”

He’s married with children now, so that’s interesting.

#32

I had a guy over to hang out one day. He put an Adam Sandler movie on the tv and kept asking me if I liked it. I said, “not really” and he just kept playing it and intermittently asking if I liked it.

After the movie ended he wanted to do karaoke, so he pulled up a Frank Sinatra song and sang at me… it was uncomfortable.

After the awkward “karaoke”, we made out for a bit and he asked me if we could f**k. I said no, and he replied “well I’m not even attracted to you anyway, you just looked like you wanted to f**k”.

He then gave me unsolicited advice on how to get rid of acne.

We sat in silence for a minute before he asked me, “do you want to debate politics? What are your thoughts on abortion?”.

After he left I immediately blocked/ghosted him.

#33

Disrespect. If a man continues to call you a “pet name” because he thinks it’s cute even after you’ve politely asked him to stop? Bye.

#34

The second a guy suggests I’m upset just because I’m on my period I am gone.

#35

Well, I was talking with this guy, let´s call him T. He didn´t know my age and I wasn´t sure of his. After our first met and kiss, he tried to lie about his age because he noticed that I was too young for him.
Obviouslly I could tell he was lying, so I confronted him about it and he confess that he was 32.
I was 17
The thing is, he was really nice, though, so if he had told me the true, I would consider keep talking to him to see if it was worth it.
So guys, DO NOT lie about anything of you, especially your age if u are older
So yeah, after that lie I doubted of his profile and I ghosted him

#36

I had a date tell me he was into adult breastfeeding. And was interested in making food with breastmilk. I ghosted him.

#37

* Treat me like I’m auditioning for the role of your wife/surrogate mother (Asking if I can cook, clean, stay at home right out of the gate)
* Treat me like I already am your wife just because I showed interest in you
* Assume that I’m obsessed with marriage and babies just because I’m a straight woman (If you’re a commitmentphobe, say that, don’t blame me)
* Insult my intelligence
* Insult how I look
* Immediately suggest that I must correct something you don’t like about me.
* Immediately act possessive and try to interrogate me about other men in my life (I can’t ‘cheat on you’ if I’ve only met you once)
* Call me bitter, crazy or resentful for just acknowledging that I’ve had relationships before
* **If my gut senses that you’re a threat to my wellbeing**

#38

When they get too intense, let’s say I’m talking with them for a week and they already telling me I’m the love of their life, the most beautiful women in the world, that they love me are huge red flags for me. I feel like they like me for what they want me to be and not who I am. How can you know all this after knowing me for a week? I get suspicious when they get too intense.

Image credits: FakeJolie

#39

When you can’t say anything to them without them trying to make it into sex talk (when you’re in the getting to know each other stage).

If you say you’re just going to hop in the shower and they start getting excited, asking to join, sending winky emojis…. I’m out.

Image credits: Acceptable-Raspberri

#40

Creepy messages or creepy in-person behavior like coming on too strong. I’d rather block you than risk my safety or be accused of leading you on.

Image credits: Leeser

#41

I was messaging with a guy who had asked for my number. I was trying to get to know him by asking him basic questions and trying to engage in conversation, but he kept turning the conversation back around to how beautiful he thought I was. I appreciate a compliment, but if all a guy is doing is complimenting me and not actually trying to get to know me, then it is clear he just wants to get in my pants.

One of the reasons I ended an actual relationship is because of overcomplimenting. Every other thing he said was a compliment to me. It was sweet at first, but it quickly became draining, and the compliments lost all meaning and sincerity.

To summarize: Occasional, genuine compliments are nice. Excessive overcomplimenting is annoying at best and creepy at worst.

Image credits: SolutionsNotIdeology

#42

Putting you on the pedestal as soon as you meet, acting needy, constantly praising you.

Image credits: saber_excc

#43

If he makes me feel unsafe in any way…NOPE. Making r*pe comments, spiking of the drink comments, kidnapping comments…My favorite one to date was: “I could fit you in my pocket and nobody would even know!”…Um…no thanks….I’ma just go crawl out the bathroom window now…(never actually did that but definitely thought about it)

Anyways…I don’t date so I don’t have to ghost people. Problem solved!

Image credits: KlutzieKelpie

#44

“What’s your kink?” Funnily enough, my kink is ghosting people who ask what my kink is.

#45

When they keep criticizing you. In the first few interactions, criticism comes off very badly. I ghosted a guy last week because I said ‘haha’ at the beginning of a message during a conversation, and he said, ‘Just say LOL.’ He already had one strike, and this just sounded so controlling. Why does it matter how I ‘laugh’ in a message, and why does he feel he gets to tell me to change it? So I just noped out.

#46

If he isn’t wholeheartedly and actively supporting abortion rights and bodily autonomy then that would be it for me.

#47

I met a guy a few times through a mutual friend. Normally, we’d run into him at the mall; he was a model/actor and I was getting stuff from Victoria’s Secret and he would tag along. Albeit not the greatest way to meet a guy, he was very polite about my shopping and kept his distance when I would try on whatever. Well, he took me out on a date and things were really good. He was cool, interesting to talk to, good conversation. So, we were under this bridge in our Downtown area and we started kissing – all fine and dandy until he had me feel his half chub. Had is the wrong way to put. He said as he was half kissing me, “you should feel my half chub.” Then proceeded to grab my wrist rather forcefully and put my hand on his d**k over his jeans. I started to freak out and didn’t know what to do, so I ended the date and left. Blocked his number and told the mutual friend what happened. He still to this day doesn’t know what he did wrong.

#48

Put truck nuts on their jetta. Unironically

#49

If you’re nice/an ok person but we don’t get along/I don’t like you somehow you’ll get an explanation, even if it’s a generic excuse not to hurt your feelings if it’s a petty or superficial reason.
If you’re are jerk you’re not entitled to one. Look ? inwards ?
So common things: refusing to/complaining about having to wear a condom.
Insisting to meet for the first time at his place/coming to mine. And I’m from a sexually liberated place and I think it’s common to hookup in the first date but umm let’s first meet in a public place maybe?

#50

Random, constant calling.. I’m at work dude!!!

#51

Saying, “my family calls me C-los” his name was Carlos and celos is Spanish for jealous.. I think he thought he was being cute but if your family’s nickname for you is jealous, my guy.. you have some issues.

#52

Back when I was seeking a relationship through dating websites, I would send the ghost emoji ? anytime the conversation got overly sexual. This was especially the case if it was right away on first encounter. Some of these guys were so thirsty and it was the first thing they wanted to talk about. I got tired of writing “not interested, I’m actually looking for a relationship and not a hook up” hence resorting to the emoji instead ? beyond that, ghosting should only be used for the extremely toxic already established relationships where safety could be considered an issue.

#53

When they take 3 days to respond a text.

#54

Woe is me parade. When they feel like you are a therapist and explain their life story of why a woman won’t touch them. Or they pull the “I’m not x y and z, cause apparently that matters now” shut up! I swiped on you for a reason, obviously, you passed the “I find them attractive enough to start a conversation with” stage. When you go into why women suck and how you don’t fit the attractive scale then I’d like to leave.

Glad my swiping days are over, dating sucks.

#55

When they decide to freak out on you because you spent the day with your parents and your kids for a national holiday instead of with them. Then when you tell them that you 100% don’t owe them an explanation and they’re suffocating you, they follow that up with “no I’m sorry I love you I’m sorry”
Bro. ??
P.s. you have only been seeing this person for 3 weeks
Ghosted and Blocked.

#56

– Start texting constantly, even if you don’t reply much
– Questionable attitude towards race, immigration, LGBT, etc
– Jealousy
– Take meaningless things too personally
– Incel vibes

#57

Objectifying people, being too pushy.

Not accepting *no* for an answer

#58

When he mistakes kindness for attraction.

#59

We were joking about poop (I don’t remember what) and somehow he brought up the idea of sending me a picture of his sh*t when he woke up in the morning. I told him that would be disgusting and don’t do that or I won’t talk to him again. Then I get an actual photo of his morning sh*t the next morning. Dude, I warned you. Gross.

#60

Someone saying “where’s my hug?”

#61

Criticising you on your efforts.

#62

Being dismissive of creepy behavior among their friends. I recently separated and went out with some girlfriends when I met a seemingly decent guy who shared my nerdy interests. He was out with his friends too, and one of his buddies crossed several lines with mine. The Creepoid snatched my friend’s phone and immediately started messing with her settings/contacts, then he stole her drink before offering her another. When I mentioned this to the guy I was talking to, he just brushed it off like… “yeah, he’s just like that.” Ok then, we can’t hang out unless everyone feels safe. Bye.

ETA: This should be considered a gender-neutral standard to avoid creeps, it’s not just for women. This particular story is simply told from my perspective. Everyone be safe out there and look out for your friends!

#63

Ghosted one last night actually!
We met on a dating app, went on one date, was really fun, we hooked up.
He’s not after anything serious, all good.
Then he gets pissy that our texts are “boring” and then accuses me of being angry when I say I don’t want to get into the whole sexting thing.
Sex on first dates just happens sometimes if the mood/vibe is there.
It doesn’t mean I’m now your personal wh*re to get you off when needed!
Bye buddy!

#64

His taste in music was impeccable, he was attractive and funny in person the night we met, so I gave up the digits and we started texting. Five or six days into our texting a bit, he asked what I was doing the next day—a Friday. I told him I had other plans. This grown man texted to me “with another guy?” Then sent me a meme/photo thing with text that said something about how people prioritize their time with people they really care about. His name in my phone got changed that to Crazy Midtown (last name is the bar I met him at) and I never replied to him again.

#65

Ask for pics when we just met

#66

Giving even the slightest hint that they see women as accessories or house maids or anything other than individuals for that matter.

#67

When you barely know them and they just want to rant to you and use you as an emotional sounding board

#68

Following Instagram “models”

#69

When they respond with ‘oh so you mean (blah blah)’ and say something completely opposite of what you were describing.

Like I’ll tell guys I like fashion and makeup, and they’ll respond with ‘oh so you’re shallow and vain?’ Just.. bye

#70

Sending a message then 2 minutes later sending question marks then a couple more minutes later sending “hello??”. Bye b***h lol.

#71

When they’re boring and don’t know how to have a conversation.

#72

Having a girlfriend.

#73

Refer to women as “b**ches” goodbye ??

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