It’s no secret that fiction spreads faster than truth. Myths are no exception. Blame the communal imagination, internet folklore, word of mouth and so on, but in reality, we are all susceptible to false claims and and wrong assumptions.

Jobs we do are no exception. Just think of the way we imagine a spy (thanks, James Bond!) or a crime detective (thanks, X-files!) and you see how easy it is to succumb to cliches.

So in order to debunk those stubborn myths surrounding common professions and see how they really work, we looked at various Reddit threads where people share the myths behind things they do for a living. The results are in below, so scroll down!

#1

> ‘Therapists will make me talk about s**t I don’t want to.’

We really don’t. If we are working on your anxiety I’m not going to ask you about your first sexual experience unless YOU think it’s relevant.

> ‘Therapists get in to your head and make you do s**t you don’t want to’

That’s Jedi. Not us. If I could do that I wouldn’t be a therapist.

Image credits: Absisvenomous

#2

From bomb squad, I’d say the “Do I cut the red wire or the blue wire!” cliche is tiring.

Terrorists don’t follow standardized wire coloring codes.

Image credits: More_Bort

#3

Unemployment is not as relaxing as people may believe.

Image credits: -917-

#4

Contrary to popular belief, not every magician has a beautiful assistant. In fact, the only time I make women disappear is when I tell them I’m a magician.

Image credits: captainmagictrousers

#5

IT – that we just Google everything. It’s not true. Sometimes we remember the solution from the last time we googled it.

Image credits: Nevermind04

#6

Storyboard artist in the animation industry. Making cartoons isn’t playtime. My position in particular is demanding, physically exhausting, and under-appreciated. On top of that, it is more “cog in the machine” work than “creative fulfillment.” My faith in my work is tested constantly.

And I am not the only one who feels like this. Virtually every artist I know always thinks about changing careers or retiring all-together. It’s a hard job, and it really doesn’t have to be, but… it is.

Image credits: hermeown

#7

Optician. No I can’t change your prescription, or renew your expired one. I’m not a doctor and that’s super illegal. I’ll get fined and fired.

#8

You don’t “go to sleep” under general anesthesia, and the chances of you “waking up” in the middle of surgery are practically nil.

I get that your worst fear is watching people operating on you and you can’t do anything about it, but the instances of that are so low, you have a bigger chance of dying in a car accident on the way to your surgery than that actually happening to you.

#9

We don’t abuse inmates or arrange to the death fights. The f****d up system deals with them far more cruelly than we ever could. No need to take it further.

#10

That wait staff/bartenders are uneducated/stupid.
I’ve worked in hospitality for seven years and worked with so many highly educated people. Nurses, refrigeration mechanics, robotic engineers, marketing graduates, aged care workers, marine biologists. I have a degree in ecology.

I can almost guarantee that your waiter has studied something after high school, whether it was a certificate, trade or university degree. But waitressing pays the bills while you’re searching for something better.

#11

That working in the film industry and especially doing what i do which is directly on set is glamourous.

Let me tell you its the opposite of glamour.

14 hour days , 6 days a week, sh**ty weather, sh**ty actors, sh**ty director, sh**ty crew ( of which I am part of), sh**tymembers of public trying to get photos and asking dumb questions, sh**ty mud, sh**ty creative types making delusional demands etc.

But there are some fun things

good food, good pay and filming sex scenes is hilarious.

#12

That doctors are super humans who don’t need to eat, sleep or have a life.
We are all human and almost all of us would put your lives before ours at the drop of a hat so please don’t abuse it.

Image credits: orchidbonsai

#13

Professor here. We know that the textbook expensive, but there isn’t much we can do about it. We don’t receive any kickback from the publisher for assigning it. Even the author of the book generally is not making much of anything on it, and the publisher still loses money on a lot of books that they print. We assign the latest edition, rather than an older and cheaper one, because the campus bookstore can’t guarantee that they will be able get the older edition in stock. The free resources available online or through the library generally are not as good for intro level students as the textbook is, which is why we don’t assign those instead. We are not going to water down the quality of a class that you paid $4000 for just so that you can save $120 on the textbook. We know that you pirate the book, and are totally fine with that. It is a broken system that needs changing, but we are just a cog in that system and don’t have much control over it.

Image credits: IAmNotScottBakula

#14

No, not everyone should learn to code. It is not the new literacy. Literacy itself is a worthy enough goal, and we are losing on that front.

Also, programming is hard, and not necessarily that fun when you have to do it for work.

Everyone should learn how computers work, and everyone should be able to understand what code is, but people who imagine some kind of utopia where 80% of the population are happily employed as computer programmers…you are all smoking crack.

Image credits: jseego

#15

No longer my profession – BUT I was a stripper for 5 years.

We, in my experience, tend to have MOTHER issues, not father.

I’m dead serious. I’ve been to a lot of ex-stripper weddings. Their dads are *always* there.

The mothers not invited.

Image credits: lubblylady

#16

Dog trainer

No Cesar Millan did not fix all those dogs issues in 30 minutes. He spent all day with the dog and family working with it getting the dog to a point where HE could prevent some of the behavior issues from occurring while in HIS control. Which is great and although the methods he used in the Dog Whisperer series tend to be pretty controversial he accomplishes a lot with the dogs he worked with. But watch the video testimonials at the end, the families always say, “we’re still working with behavior X things are getting better…”

Also quick rant about people who watch Dog Whisperer and try to replicate his “Alpha” methods. Be really careful, you can do more harm than good. If you see a dog on his show being aggressive and he alpha rolls it and dominates it and your dog does the same thing and you try to replicate it, first be prepared to get bit. Second if the dog is displaying aggression because of fear or lack of socialization and you do this you’ll make it worse almost without exception. Also there are other and arguably better methods of dealing with genuinely aggressive dogs.

Also most of what you learned about pack theory is wrong. It was taken from watching captive wolves from differing packs the behaviors you’ve been taught are “pack” behaviors are actually stress behavior occurring because of captivity and because of the mingling of different family units. So the social interactions that we’ve learned about don’t actually occur with packs in the wild.

Image credits: stoph999

#17

Farmer here.

I do not delight in killing the livestock, nor are any of them mistreated. We do not all support factory farms.

Image credits: anon

#18

Data Analyst – I am not IT & it is not my job to troubleshoot your computer problems.

Learn to turn it on and off again yourselves people.

Image credits: Statscollector

#19

Librarian. I don’t sit at a desk and read all day, I don’t shush you, I don’t get an advanced degree to learn how to shelve books in order, and I’m not a woman.

“Librarian” is a bit like “engineer” in that it’s a term that covers a lot of sub-fields and jobs. A public librarian will do things like developing the collection (buying books for the community and removing books from the collection that aren’t circulating), developing and running programs like classes and special events, and doing outreach and administrative things like budgeting. A digital librarian will work with special collections – digital or not – to organize and display them and don’t interact with the public at all (one I’ve worked with recently: https://d.lib.msu.edu/). An academic librarian is assisting with research, conducting research of their own, assisting students in learning how to use the library, and assisting professors in developing coursework.

Image credits: marisachan

#20

I work retail. We are human beings with feelings and emotions. We just want to help you out.

If you’re an a*****e to us, we won’t help you.

Image credits: Poggystyle

#21

That firefighters only respond to fire-related calls. I’d say 80% or more of our calls are for EMS. People are always like “why are there firefighters going to a shooting??”

Image credits: adirtymedic

#22

1. Engineers do not design every cool thing in the world.

2. Most engineers never actually make all that much money.

3. Chances are, if you study engineering you will end up with an insanely boring office job, or an insane high pressure job working 16+ hours a day.

4. Not all engineers are super intelligent, quite a lot are actually below average intelligence.

Image credits: Only_One_Kenobi

#23

I’m not being coy or secretive: I genuinely don’t know what my job actually is.

#24

Criminal defense attorney. People think our job is to find “technicalities” that allow alleged criminals to go free. Those “technicalities” are most often fundamental constitutional protections, not something like a typo in the charging documents. Our job is to make sure the government is playing fair.

#25

IT.
No I am not a hacker by default, yes there are girls here (like me), no we do not know everything computer or internet related.

#26

I work in road construction. Construction workers don’t stand around all day. If they did, their bosses would yell at them and tell them to get back to work. There is some downtime inherent in the work, especially if unforseen issues arise, but typically those guys are expected to work hard all day, and the contractor’s superintendent’s entire job is to figure out logistics and keep people moving.

#27

Most people that work in the space industry don’t actually work for NASA.

#28

Lasers do not sound like they do on TV. They sound like a bunch of big computer case fans, with a slight whine of a turbine screaming along in the background.

You can’t see the beam, at least not with a CO2 laser. (most common industrial laser) It’s invisible. You can sure as hell see where it hits. It will turn metal incandescent in seconds. Once, I witnessed a forklift driver who hit the resonator (The “box” that “makes the laser”) and knock it loose of the output coupler/bend mirrors (What directs the laser to the workpiece) which burned the dust out of the air in a 1″ diameter beam, and melted a hole in the side of a box truck before we turned off the beam.

A laser isn’t a perfectly straight beam of destruction. They have to be focused to be useful. A 4,000 watt laser focused down to .012″ will melt steel, at which point oxygen is blown at it, causing the metal to burn out. A laser that you could hold in your hand that could damage material like a firearm is really past the realm of sci-fi and into fantasy. It’s not a projectile, think of it more like a microwave that can be pointed at something. It will make stuff hot.

#29

Inmate Services here (Non-Sworn). No I do not enjoy denying your visitation privilege, canceling visits, having you arrested because you came in to visit while having an ACTIVE WARRANT YOURSELF, or rolling up PSPers.

Also spitting on me, hitting me, or otherwise threatening me only makes your life harder and I’d prefer it if you’d tone it down a notch.

#30

‘All athletes are stupid and only chose a sporting career because they had no other options.’ I’m a straight A advanced student and I speak four languages. One of the girls I work with has two separate degrees and is studying for a third. We aren’t stupid.

#31

Massage Therapists don’t preform “happy endings” unless you go to some really shady places where they are technicians or not licensed at all. I know more anatomy and a lot of nurses (granted they have to learn much else that just gross anatomy, and it’s what we specialize in, so there’s that) and in Ohio we’re held to the second highest standards in the country for licensure, taking many credit hours and a regulated boards test. I’m educated not a masseuse or technician.

#32

I’m a writer. I specialize in fan fiction. No, it’s not always illegal. Yes, I get paid to write. And no, not all of my clients are creeps. It’s actually a ton of fun, and most of what I do involves teaching other people how to write.

#33

People always think welders are all stupid alcoholics. In my experience most of the welders I’ve worked with, and including myself, are pretty intelligent alcoholics.

#34

As a helicopter pilot

No, a helicopter that as an engine failure doesn’t just fall like a rock. It possible to land safely (probably even more safely than in an airplane) without even breaking the aircraft. We do a training every year with all the emergencies that can happen in flight or on the ground, including surprise engine failure that we have to land.

And god, NO, I won’t fly to Hawaii for free. S**t’s is expensive to fly and doesn’t have a huge range. So please stop trying to be funny about that.

#35

Engineers are never certain about anything. Everything we do basically comes down to educated guesses about what will work and what won’t.

#36

Tower Climber. We’re not all adrenaline junkies, a lot of the guys I work with are just middle aged men with families. Also if you can work 85ft off the ground you can work 800ft. Same result if you fall

#37

That organic means the animal lived a happier life. In the long run I have seen that when you go to process the animals the organic bird are tipically a lot smaller and spent a large portion of their lives sick. A simple antibitit would have allowed the animal a healthier life. Note that all antibiotic residue must be out of the animals system to be allowed to process it for consumption.

#38

That scientists know everything about every science subject. Typically, we are very specialized. I don’t know shit about biology, for instance. Nonetheless, people think I know about anything sciency even though I only studied a very particular slice of something.

Another myth is that we are scientists all the time. When I play golf, I’m not calculating the trajectory of the ball. I’m just hitting the fucking ball. Usually off into the trees.

#39

Work in a pawn shop and no all our items are not stolen goods. We I.D everyone selling something and we can usually tell if something is stolen because the guy selling it hasn’t a clue about it. Also we communicate with the local police stations so we are aware of stolen items before they are brought in.

#40

Am Cable man. No sex is given to me by ladies who need the cable fixed.

#41

Cleaning schools is actually pretty breezy, more often than not we do what we have to do in like an hour or two and from that point we just clean windows for a few hours until we knock off

#42

Qa tester here. We find glitches/ bugs all the time. But it is impossible to find every one. But some that get through baffle me.

#43

Paramedics do not transport dead people.

#44

Graphic Designer.

No, my job is *not* colouring in.

No, it does *not* mean that I know how to draw or paint perfectly well.

And no, just because you watched some Photoshop tutorials on Youtube, does *not* mean you can suddenly do my job for me.

EDIT: Spacing. (Yes, bad spacing *does* make us cringe)

#45

When I first entered the pharmaceutical production industry, I thought that everything was super uptight and regulated due to the FDA….I was pretty wrong.

Sure FDA audits can catch bad things (just search any company + 483 to find out) but there are SO many things that are missed. Companies have procedures on what not to tell auditors and people presenting to auditors are often coached right beforehand.

Some companies are willing to accept some FDA observations (willing quality risks) in order to get product out.

The best (worst?) story I have from the industry is when somebody found a literal f*****g MILK DUD in in a vial of an INJECTABLE product.

Side note: Google “company name + 483” at your own risk. Some of that s**t will freak you out.

#46

Men in the nursing profession aren’t necessarily gay. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that) Many of us were Paramedics and military medics/corpsmen before going into nursing.

#47

Not everyone that works on an oilrig gets dirty. In fact, barely anyone does.

#48

Yes I’m in the Air Force.
No I don’t fly a plane.
No I don’t get a plane issued to me after basic training.

#49

I’m similar to a car salesman, new and used.

Yes, we make commission, and yes, it’s based on profit.

However, we’d rather lose 25% of our profit than the sale. We’re on your side, and want to get you in the car/unit.

So, if you need a certain out the door price, payment, interest rate, or even unique finance terms, just tell us, and we’ll do what we can to make them happen.

Just be warned, if you give a target payment, also insist on knowing your interest rate and term. When you lower a payment, you extend the term. When you extend the term, you can raise interest with it havign a smaller affect on the month to month.

#50

Being an accountant does not require good math.

Whenever I tell people I’m an accountant, I frequently hear, “oh, you must be good at math.”

Math in accounting is adding and subtracting. The difficulty lies in the rules and regulations of accounting.

#51

Bagger at a grocery store. Not all of are here because we didn’t go to college. I have coworkers doing it as a second job and one of them works for a legal firm.

#52

That I, a simple cashier, am responsible for the pricing in the store.

#53

Veterinarians are not rolling in money. I can understand why people might think that because vet fees can be expensive, but the snide comments about ‘rich vets’ get very tiring

#54

Taking the ambulance will not get you seen quicker. My favorite part of the day is when I get to wheel you straight through the ER and into the lobby with everyone else.

#55

I’m an accountant. No, I don’t actually enjoy talking about tax law on my day off, so your “quick tax question” that takes me 30 minutes to explain beyond ‘that depends…’ is really annoying at a family BBQ.

#56

Tobacco researchers do not want to take your cigs away.

#57

Waiter- I don’t give enough of a s**t to mess with your food.

If you really p**s me off, I’ll just do a shot and a bump and your food will come out a little later than it would have.

If you’re a total prick, my manager will take the table and might kick you out.

#58

Tesla is the leader in AV technology…. Nope every company is around the same level. We all use the same Suppliers.

#59

I have worked at a hotel for 8 years now in positions of power at the front desk, reservations and group sales.
First, we do not hold rooms out of inventory! When we say we are sold out, we are sold out. We are here to make sure you have an enjoyable stay, but we are a business, why wouldn’t we want to sell all possible rooms? First come first served is a real thing.
Also, being rude when there is the smallest thing wrong with your stay will not get you a free night. Comping a whole stay is very rare, compensation by discounting your room rate, parking or food is much more common. If you approach me with respect I am more likely to compensate a greater monetary amount than if you’re a d**k.

#60

Salesperson — I’m not out to screw you. I want to help you out, yes I’ll get paid, and so will the boss, but if you’re nice to me, you’ll get a lot better deal than if you’re an a*****e

#61

A lot of people view teaching as an 8 hour job with paid summer vacations, and it’s really not. Lesson planning, grading, IEPs, being involved with or heading after-school programs and/or sports, and other miscellaneous types of b******t add up. It’s common to oversimplify a lot of the tasks teachers do. For example, grading isn’t just circling wrong answers and writing a score, it’s things like reading and evaluating 10 page research papers for 3 classes of 20+ kids each–that’s a minimum of 600 pages to go through. Summers off aren’t really “paid”, you might get paychecks during the summer but it’s a salary for 9 months of work stretched out across 12 months, and most young teachers will have some kind of summer job in addition to planning for the next school year.

#62

Architect. We don’t have models or blueprints or T squares in our homes (or even in the offices). We don’t create fun/wild buildings or have rich, eccentric clients. An architect doesn’t start to see real money until they own/principal a firm (aka old) or if they’re a top designer in a big name office (extremely rare). We don’t live in amazing homes (can’t afford it, don’t have the resources). Freehand sketching skill means basically nothing. And we don’t (all) wear turtlenecks!!

#63

I work in the laboratory, background in medical lab science.

People in other departments of the hospital seem to think that the lab is full of antisocial introverts who don’t care about patients at all, and that we think of our work like an assembly line.

The introvert part is usually true, but that doesn’t mean we don’t care. We f*****g care, a lot. In my experience the lab is usually full of empaths who want to help people, but can’t afford to get emotionally invested.

#64

I’m a programmer, not a magical computer svengali who loves working for free on your home computer problems.

#65

People in IT could not care less about you or how frustrated you are. We care about solving problems and making computers our b***h. Tell us what the problem is, give us the relevant info, get out of our way, and shut the f**k up.

#66

Churches don’t have pots of money at the ready to hand out if you call up and say you need it, nor do we have an apartment building out back all ready for you to move in to (or a list of little old ladies needing roomies) if you’ve just been kicked out of yours. Most of us have a regulated program with some particular type of aid we may be able to give you if you meet the requirements (if it is money or gift cards, often it’s time-limited – we can only help you once a year or something like that) or a food bank or something specific along those lines.

#67

Archaeologists do NOT dig up dinosaurs.

#68

That we can remove children from their parents if we have concerns. A court order is needed to remove and strong evidence is needed to get an order. The amount of people in the UK who believe social workers can just take children in staggering.

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