By definition, home is a haven where we generally feel safe. It’s a place of warmth and solace where we spend most of our days with friends and loved ones. 

However, that’s not the case for many people. For them, home is an awful setting where most of their nightmares come to life. It was such a horrible experience that it pushed them to run away and never look back. 

Some of them shared their stories in a Reddit thread from years ago, and they didn’t hold back. Prepare yourself for heavy, emotionally charged reads that are nothing short of riveting.

#1

I ran away just after I turned fifteen. I had been living with my dad, who’s a narcissistic alcoholic. My mom didn’t really want me to live with her. She lived a few states away.

Several extremely generous families took me in over the next three years until I finished high school. I had to change houses every now and then because my dad would threaten to sue whoever I was staying with. One man in particular was like a father to me and helped rehabilitate me (living alone with my dad my whole life had caused psychological issues and misconceptions about family, love, etc.).

I was able to maintain my grades and matriculate at a prestigious university. I ended up becoming a software engineer. I love my life now, and few people know about my backstory. I have no contact with my dad.

Image credits: samsalias

#2

Hey, I can answer this! Tldr at the bottom.

I ran away from home when I was fifteen. The first couple of months were pretty great, actually. I moved in with my older brother, who’d also left when he was 17 (he was then 20), and pretty much stepped in as the parental figure, except that I had much more freedom. But he’d just had a kid, and his (now ex) girlfriend decided that she didn’t like the place we were living and stopped paying rent without telling anyone. My brother lost his deposit and couldn’t find a new place for his kid AND me, so we agreed that I should find another place to live. After that, I started sleeping on friend’s couches using the money I’d made from working fast food to pay their parents for a place to sleep and booze. That quickly spiralled into uncontrolled alcoholism that lasted throughout my entire junior year of high school. My already C-averaged grades plummeted to straight failures and I quickly dismissed any chances of getting into college.

To this day, I’m not sure who called him or how he found out where I was living, but on some random day near the end of my first semester of senior year, a Marine Corps recruiter showed up at my friend’s door asking after me. Through what I now assume to be the combination of his persuasiveness as a recruiter and the desperation of being stuck in a small town, I signed into the Delayed Entry Program within the week with the expectation that I’d ship out after I graduated. I quickly stopped drinking, and the following semester, I took extra classes to make up for the ones I’d failed. I still worked odd jobs with s**t pay and slept on friend’s couches, but I’d started hanging out with new, more supportive friends and my new goal in life kept me from screwing up too badly. Despite the damage I did to my grades in my junior year, I miraculously managed to graduate on time.

After that, I did end up shipping off. I became a Marine (yut) and got to do a lot of cool stuff and see a lot of cool places. I even met a nice lady and married her! The Corps taught me a lot about my limits and instilled a sense of confidence and discipline that now defines a large part of who I am. Ultimately though, I decided to get out and go to college to do engineering. Hey, remember that one time I shat all over my grades in high school? The universities certainly do! I got rejected from two of the three schools I applied to, and the third school’s engineering department rejected me while the university itself had accepted me. When I called, they effectively told me that I could still go under a different major, establish a college GPA and then reapply. The physics department had the same math requirements, so I chose that as my major. To fulfill one of the elective requirements I took intro to astronomy because I figured it would be easy (what’s a planet amiright?), but was quickly blown away by how awesome it was. It just happened that the professor teaching the intro class was an instrumentalist, which effectively means that he’s an astrophysicist who engineers the telescopes himself. Initially, I was fascinated by the engineering side of things, but he also got me excited about the cool science we could do with the stuff they could build. I got straight A’s through my first year of college, but I decided to stay in physics and added Astrophysics as a minor. Also, I joined the astronomy club. Also, I started working at a planetarium during my time off. Seriously, guys, space is cool.

By the end of my college career, I’d joined a lab doing instrumentation and ultimately decided to continue doing research in graduate school to get my PhD. Unlike high school, my college grades were amazing, and with a little research under my belt, I figured I had a chance. I applied to 9 schools, one being an Ivy League but not really expecting anything from it. I got into all of them, including the Ivy League.

And I wish I had more of a story to tell, but that’s pretty much where I’m at now. I’m a few years into my graduate degree at a very prestigious university, engineering telescopes to look at stuff in space in order to convince NASA to give me more money to build bigger telescopes to look at more stuff in space. I love every second of it. And to be honest, I’d probably still be in that small town drinking my life away if it wasn’t for my friends and the military.

I’ll admit that I took a look at your post history, but I didn’t really see anything telling. If you’ve just run away from home and are in a bad way, I’m here to tell you that you can still be successful. I know life can be s****y, but there are good days. Find friends that support you. Set a goal for your future. It doesn’t have to be so drastic as the military; look into trade schools, or college, or anything that will make you feel productive really. Just try to come up with something you can really want and push yourself toward it. Feel free to PM me if you need. That goes for any of you.

TL; DR Ran away when I was fifteen, was cool, then sucked. Drank a lot. Joined the military. Went to college. Now in grad school.

Image credits: kittles1234

#3

I’m on the other side of the globe. I backpacked for a bit, but already had a job lined up. It wasn’t the first time my parents stopped speaking to me, but I have no plans to return to my home country. Life’s much nicer without them.

Image credits: surprise_b1tch

#4

I left my adoptive parents’ home during summer break last summer at age 19. My parents have always been wildly manipulative and a*****e. Still, since they adopted me out of foster care, it seemed like normal behavior in comparison to the beatings, malnutrition, and s*xual ab*se I had dealt with between the ages of 0 – 13. It wasn’t until I started talking about it to friends and my SO that I was told it indeed was not healthy.

Throughout my entire first year of college they would threaten me, make me feel awful for attending college away from them (even though I attend an Ivy League school for free), and say terribly hurtful things to me. I was guilted into coming back home for the summer even though I was deeply dreading it. Four days after I got back from college for the summer, my parents stopped talking to me and only referred to me as “the rude one.” I decided that being home made me deeply miserable, so when my parents went to work on day 5, I left and went back to school as an emergency. I left them a long letter detailing my feelings and explaining that I was willing to work on repairing it all if they were.

Right after I left, they reportedly called the cops but were told they could do nothing. They tried emailing me and all of my friends / family outside of them, saying that they were worried and confused about why in the world I left. I refused to go back home, which angered them, but after a few weeks, they calmed down. At that point, I truly did try to repair our relationship. However, it created a cycle where we would talk for a week, and then they would freak out at me, telling me that I was selfish or a terrible daughter, that I wasn’t handling the situation like an adult, or that I had changed. After 7 months of this, I completely cut off contact, and that is where we still are.

They try to contact me occasionally, either through email, letters, or my boyfriend, but I am still recovering. The second round of faulty family dug up a lot of past trauma, and everything has been really, really hard. Despite this, I feel so much freer, self-assured, and safe, and that has only been increasing from the moment I decided to cut off contact.

TL;DR: Left manipulative and mentally a*****e adoptive parents after first year of college and eventually cut off contact; feel much better.

Image credits: magicelastic

#5

My plan was to make it upstate and get to NY, eventually police caught up to me. About two years later I moved out through legal means, and I ain’t looking back!

Image credits: usbfridge

#6

I didn’t run away initially. I was kicked out of my house in January 2015. I was on the streets and in a s****y spot in my life before I met my wife. She tells me I’m retroactively crazy, but I fell in love when I met her. Jan of 2016, I ran away with her to another state. We hit a rough spot, but we’ve been happy ever since.

I don’t regret disappearing from everyone’s lives.. okay, I miss my sisters. Outside of that? No. My former classmates are all ridiculous, the job market was hard when I relied on buses and I had s**t experience. Now look at me. Two cars, a house, a beautiful wife, and three beautiful, charming, mentally handicapped cats. I couldn’t be happier.

Image credits: gotnomemory

#7

My parents used to push me out of the house as “punishment” when we would get into arguments. This was among a range of a*****e punishments they used to keep me in line over the years. We started arguing a lot after I turned 18 because I was trying to make plans for my future and was literally told that I wasn’t allowed to. Not just that I wasn’t allowed to plan ahead, but that I wasn’t allowed to move on and live an adult life. I wasn’t allowed to get a job, move out, or go to college. These were actual things I was told I was forbidden to do when I was an 18-year-old high school senior. The first time they made me sit outside after I’d turned 18 was a freezing cold night in early February, 4 months after my 18th birthday. In that moment it clicked for me that there was an entire world of better things for me out there than the position I was in. By the next time they made me sit outside, I had already snuck most of my stuff out of the house. I had a friend help me by stuffing her own backpack full of my stuff or secretly picking up stuff I’d leave hidden on the side of the house. It only took me 4 days to get ready for the next time they pushed me out in the middle of the night, which was about a week later. That night, I turned around and walked away, and I haven’t looked back since. My parents tried showing up at school and making a scene, telling everyone who would listen that I ran away, but I was able to use the defense that “They actually kicked me out, and I’m 18 so I don’t really have to go back”. The police or anyone at school couldn’t make me. I finished my senior year out couch surfing, but life is pretty normal now, and in spite of its hardships, I love being free. I’m currently working on my second university degree, I have my own place, dogs, and a job that pays the bills. Sometimes in the midst if everything mundane I have to appreciate being able to drive my own car, leave my house whenever the f**k I want, and being able to send a text without the anxiety of being constantly watched. It could have been worse for me.

Image credits: Jill-Sanwich

#8

I started by traveling to India in the 70’s, I am now in Amsterdam, married with a son. It’s been quite a ride.

Image credits: anon

#9

I left when I was 13. My grandmother helped pay for the initial damage deposit on a minuscule one-room suite and helped cover rent when I was low due to extremely a*****e parents. For the next 5 years I had super s****y below-min-wage ‘kid’ jobs and got only a few hours of sleep per night. The people I thought were my friends were just using me because a teenager with his own place was a hot commodity.

When I went to get my driver’s license years later, I found out that my name was on a government list – possibly grandparents’ doing – but my parents never filed a Runaway Report. So there were some complications but nothing like what I would have faced if they cared enough to fill out paperwork.

Not quite twenty years later, I’m still not totally adjusted. I have a ton of pent-up anger and paranoia that my whole life could just suddenly be destroyed in an instant, so I’m a prepper for the worst kinds of issues you can imagine. I did well for myself financially but have serious issues when it comes to relationships, and basically just move through a series of one-night stands or long-term friendships with an element of s*x to them.

I tried to reconnect with my parents a few years ago and had dinner with them, and it was terrible and heartbreaking. F**k those people – I’d do it all over again without hesitation.

Image credits: PapaSteel

#10

Left when I was seventeen. I was homeless, did d***s and drank ALOT.

I had a LOT of s*x as I was still a virgin until I left.

I was sheltered, controlled (Homeschooled by religious nuts) and ab*sed and I finally snapped.

I ended up pregnant by a guy who lived with his family in a old 80’s suburban.
I was scared, and I didn’t love the guy. So I tried to straighten up by myself. I ended up miscarrying and fell into a deep depression and gave up on life, I thought I was what my parents have been telling me my whole childhood. So I started prostituting and doing more d***s and drinking more, I gave zero f***s about my life and let these men do whatever to me, I just wanted to die but thought I would be a p***y if I k**led myself.

After many men and a year later, I met my husband, he responded to my Craigslist ad and I met up with him to “Do my thing and get paid”.

And I never left…

We own a home now, I have a regular job, we just smoke pot, I don’t drink much anymore.

I found out that I can’t have kids, but I honestly think that’s for the best. We struggle still but not as bad as it could be. I have a lot of emotional problems still and a very hard time keeping away from bad habits my parents drilled into me.

I still live in the same place this all went down so I run into people from my past and it’s awkward. My parents have been trying to claw their way back into my life but I keep them at a arms length.

Even though I’m better off now than before, I know because of how I was raised that my life will never be easy. I have no education, I have a hard time socialising and I can’t figure out what to do with my life long term, but at least I’m taking it one day at a time.

Image credits: RottenChihuahua2018

#11

I ran away at 16 with 2 months rent and barely scraped by for so long. I had to give up baseball where I had college offers to work 12 hour shifts on weekends and work at nighttime. Sometimes I didn’t sleep for 24-32 hours. Work->school->work.

First off, anyone who’s thinking of running away; unless you’re in danger or being severely neglected only then do you need to leave. If you can help it, work work work work and save up as much money as you can, while you’re at work you won’t have to be around them.

I ran away to my own apartment, but I got off at 11pm at night after being in school since 8am, so there wasn’t really a point but I guess it did help me mentally. It seemed easier that I was doing school full time and working 40 hours than living around them. I wish I would’ve stuck it out at home for another month or two, if my car would’ve broke down I would’ve been screwed.

Use your resources and have a plan. If you f**k up its going to set you farther back than someone who has a support system would. Don’t trust the guidance counselor, don’t trust anybody, it’s why there are people with 100k in student loans with no plan to pay it back. Go for degrees with 2-year fields or trade school. I’m 20 now and just got into nursing school. School is paid for through financial aid, and I even got to pocket some money left over after books and tuition were paid. I also took out 3k in private loans just to give me a little cushion and so I can eat meat instead of ramen.

Finally, know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to work harder than most and plan smarter than most, but at the end it’s worth it. Don’t play ignorant and say “nobody taught me;” nobody’s going to feel sorry for you. You have to take what’s yours and use your resources. YouTube was a better father to me than my own.

Image credits: anon

#12

I ran away from an a*****e foster home at 16. Ended up moving in with a family from my church and getting adopted by them. I’m 28 now and hold a bachelor’s, I’m currently pursuing a Master’s. I still struggle with emotional trauma but everything gets better with time.

Image credits: Catsnamedwaffles

#13

I guess how you define running away matters for my case, my mom and dad divorced and I for sure didn’t want to live with my mom.

So I chose that dad should have full custody (I have other siblings so there was kind of a battle thing) even though I knew he’d never be around. Doesn’t even live in the same country.

So I moved abroad and he pays the bills and puts money in my account while I still go to school, we still talk a lot and he visit me sometimes, I was feeling quite ill a few weeks ago and then he came down and helped me.

I kind of felt like I ran away, but I guess it’s not a hitchhiking from Missouri to California living on the streets story.

I’m for sure never going back to mom, I miss my younger brother who my mother actively denies contact with me and my dad. Quite happy to not have to deal with my twin sister.

I get on, live alone, date a very nice girl at the moment, going for GCE A-Level and working extra sometimes at a bar. I can’t complain.

Image credits: SwedeTrump

#14

I left home in 1993. I hitchhiked and traveled. I followed the Grateful Dead for a while. Got married. Joined the army. Lived a decade or so in Germany. Raised 4 kids. Moved back to the US, but not home. Got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and retired at 43. Now I watch a lot of TV.

Image credits: anon

#15

Due to various causes, I came to be living with a very bad family member when I was a child. Unbeknownst to me or any of the nicer family, he was a d**g dealer and involved in a child s*x trafficking ring. You can put the pieces together – I did not have a fairytale childhood, obviously.

I allowed him and his buddies to think I was completely broken, biding my time. Then when I was older, I snuck out one night and hitched a ride with a kind trucker and he drove me halfway across the country where I reached out to my dad, who I had been estranged from (my mother had demonized him, none of it had been true).

I got myself into therapy, and after a while, applied for college, and now I’m going to be graduating with a computer science degree next May. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and my dad and I are extremely close. :).

Image credits: pixidoxical

#16

I’m not much of a writer but here we go: my step father is a violent monster, him thinking your lying must mean your lying and if your lying he would beat you bad. While I was ab*sed my sister got everything: an iPhone an iPad while I was banned or barred as he said from even having an iPod. Now let’s being my real father into all of this he is the most loving selfless kind hearted man you could ever meet. So a few month earlier he finds out about what alex is doing and a few months later we organising a way for me to flee. So I pack up my school uniform and a few changes of clothes (had to leave my school laptop there and I didn’t get it back until a month later) had my step father drop me off for the bus to tafe went to tafe and had my father pick me up (oh year I was in year 10).

Image credits: mewfour123412

#17

My aunt adopted my two older brothers and me when I was 5, but she’d been fostering us since I was 1. My oldest brother is autistic and schizophrenic, and she treated him like absolute s**t. Middle son was the golden child and I was the princess. We all called her mom.

When my oldest brother left home at 18, I became the target of her ab*se. Hitting, emotional and verbal, all the fun stuff. This went on for several years.

When I was 15, I told her one Friday if she ever laid hands on me again I’d leave forever. I’d already talked to my middle brother about crashing at his place for a few days if I needed to leave. On Sunday, she punched me in the face, bit me, scratched me, slapped me, kicked me, and threw me on the ground by the hair. So I started the 11 mile walk back to her house (we were at my grandmother’s) to pack my s**t and get out. She picked me up three miles in and told me if I left she’d have no interest in maintaining a relationship with me.

I went to my brother’s for three days, but he had a wife and a kid and couldn’t support me longer than that because he was broke. From there, went to an acquaintance’s house for a night then went to school the next day. Had to talk to three different cops (incident happened in one town, lived in a second, went to school in a third) and she showed up in the middle of it all. Had to talk to a social worker who laughed telling me a story about a mother ripping bleeding chunks of hair from her daughter’s scalp and told me moms and teenage daughters just fight, it’s normal. I told all four of them the same thing, that if they made me go home I would run away over and over and make them come find me every time because I’d rather be homeless than spend another night in the same house as her.

They told my mom this, so she gave permission for me to stay with a different friend. I stayed there for a week, but she broke her hip at work (anorexic) and I had to leave. Went to stay with one of my mother’s coworkers who I had known for about 6 years who was a foster parent. I’m still really close with her ex-husband, he’s the only dad I’ve ever known.

Was there a year and a half, divorce proceedings start, as a difficult and by this point d**g addicted kid I start getting the blame from her and she tried to force me to move back in with my mother (who wouldn’t have taken me even if I had been willing to go). Moved in with my pastor whose daughter I was very close with for three months and went to Job Corps when they ran out of money to support me (I was 17 at this point and had just graduated high school).

I got married a month after my 18th birthday to a 19-year-old who turned out to be gay. We’re best friends now and have two pretty f*****g cool kids. I’m 23 now, he’s 25, and we’re still roommates because as it turns out the kids who go to Job Corps instead of college don’t have that much income potential! We’re broke but it’s honestly kinda tolerable right now. I’m finally in college and so is he, trying to make sure our kids have less rough childhoods than we did.

Image credits: theevolvingatheist

#18

This is the very very condensed version of my story. Tl;dr at the bottom.

I was 16, just weeks away from turning 17. I had a boy that promised I could move in with his family, and after a particularly difficult night at home I packed a trash bag of things and left. Only, it turned out that the boys family wasn’t okay with me living with them. So we lived in his bright red Jeep Liberty. I started working a minimum wage job and had this dream of getting our own place, and getting married. Only it turned out that minimum wage 13 hours a week doesn’t cover much in food let alone an apartment. I made budget after budget only for him to blow through it. I hardly ate on most days. After a month or two an old friends mom called me out of the blue and told me to come to her place. She wanted me to live with her. Her only conditions? I couldn’t get pregnant and I had to pay some amount of rent. Okay fine. The boy moved back in with his parents. He would drive me to work on the days that I worked and I had a plan to go back to school.

Then I found out I was pregnant. I was 2 months along and I knew I wanted to place the baby for adoption. So I quietly moved out of the apartment without letting the friends mom know, because I was so ashamed of getting myself pregnant. We told our parents the situation and the plan for adoption because I was still on my parents insurance. The boys parents let us move in with them until the pregnancy was over.

9 months later I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and watched as the fathers we had picked for her held her.

A month later I quit my retail job and started selling life insurance. Things were looking up, I could support myself and the boy (who was actually a piece of s**t and didn’t work the entire time we were together) and we got our own place. I was working crazy hours trying to save up enough to buy my own car and go back to school. Eventually I broke, had a panic attack in a clients house and when I finally made it home I had realized I needed to break up with the boy.

2 months after that I had moved out of my apartment, quit my well paying insurance job, and moved in with a new boy, because clearly I am great at making decisions.

The new guy was awesome. He was a marine and worked decent hours and we were happy. We would go out and spend nights with his friends who took me in and loved me. Then one night at a party somebody brought c*****e. He bought some and I tried it.

From that point forward I changed. At some point some friends of his offered me a job out in Louisiana and I accepted believing I’d come home with a car and a couple grand after 2 weeks. When the day came for them to pick me up I was sick as a dog. I had called asleep and when I woke up I was 7 hours away from my house and into Louisiana. We arrived at their place and they made it clear I wasn’t leaving. They held me there with no real contact to anybody in my life for a week. At the end of that week after having guns held to my head and forced to do things I never thought I would do, I convinced them that I was playing along. That maybe I should call my boyfriend and let him know I was okay. When he got on the phone I invited him out to see us. He came and as soon as I got a chance we jumped in his car and drove home. I was terrified and he knew something was wrong but I couldn’t tell him.

I began cheating on him because I felt trapped and scared and alone. I turned to c*****e and alcohol even more, because at least I knew how it made me feel.

Eventually I started working again and making good money. I got close with my dealer because I could finally buy for myself. I still had no car, and no real future but I was convinced I’d get there.

That brings us to December of 2016, I had broken up with the marine and come clean about my behavior. We began to work things out as I was still living with him when one night I decided to end my life. I called my dealer and made a huge order. But when he got to me to drop it off he asked if I wanted to hang out. So I did. That was the start to a 4 day binge. Then Christmas came. I called my mom and asked if I could come home for the holiday. I was coming down from a great weekend and wanted to try and reunite with my family. She said no, because my siblings would be uncomfortable.

3 days later, sitting on my dealers couch, I got a call. My older brother had been hit by a car. He was brain dead. I went to the hospital and saw my whole family for the first time in 3 years. I cried alone. Away from my family because I didn’t want to take any attention away from my brother.

I went to the funeral, and when it was over I realized I was homeless. I called my dealer as we were kind of dating at that point and I moved in with him. Over the next ten months, he beat me, convinced me to run for him, isolated me from everybody I used to know, and convinced me I was trash.

On September 12th last year he stomped on my face because I was trying to leave. I wound up in the ER and refused to press charges. My parents let me stay with them for 5 days. At the end I went back to him.

On October 13th 2017 I went back to my parents and asked them to buy me a plane ticket out of state. An old family friend had offered me a place to stay. Saturday October 14th I arrived and was greeted with open arms. I got sober that day. I’ve been sober for the last 6 months. I got my GED, I started working two jobs and got a car. I am working on myself every day. I found a great church and through it an amazing group of friends. For the first time in my life I see a future that isn’t filled with pain and threats of death. I am finally learning to let myself be happy. I’m moving forwards. I have my first public speaking gig which will hopefully translate to more in the near future and I plan on going to school in the spring.

Tl;dr: 3 years ago I ran away from home. I made some really good choices and then made exclusively bad choices. I was hurt and let myself be a victim. 6 months ago I ran away again. Only this time into open and loving arms. I’m sober and happy and safe for the first time in a long time.

Image credits: mynameislucaIlive

#19

Father let step mom ab*se me

Left home at 17

Lived in my car

Got a government job doing telephone me calls

Heard a rumor where my mom was

Found my mom who abandoned me on the other side of the country

Joined the army

Got hurt

Moved on

Met a girl

Got an apartment together

Got a good job

And now starting school in the fall

Getting leg all patched up so I can reenlist in the army if they’ll take me.

Image credits: anon

#20

I tell people i’m an orphan. it’s easier, generally. my mom died when i was ten, and my father was never…. a person who should’ve been in charge of another human, let alone a parent. he was drunk for two solid years, and got nasty with his words whenever any amount of any emotion happened. he threatened to kick me down the (very very very steep) stairs pretty regularly, and as far as i know there’s still a hole in the drywall shaped like my back from the time i was so scared he was actually going to do it that i launched myself into the hall so i wouldn’t be on the landing anymore. i don’t think he remembers inappropriate touching, but. i sure do.

i spent a lot of nights sleeping outside because it was preferable to being in that house (i’ve slept on anti-homeless spikes–still better) but i didn’t have anywhere i could run that he wouldn’t have found me until i graduated high school. i got accepted to a good state school, moved up, and never looked back. (well, i did get dragged down once. to make it “official” that i was no longer welcome in his house, as a red-eye trip. told him point blank that i had no interest in any sort of contact with him, because at the best of times he’d been neglectful and manipulative, and that when i got back on the bus he wasn’t going to contact me unless it was legally relevant or he was fully prepared to apologise and atone for everything he did.)

as for life now: not gonna lie, it kinda sucks. i live with complex-ptsd, long-standing health problems both mental and physical, two jobs, and a full time student workload. i have a cat whom i love, three roommates who i tolerate-enjoy-love respectively, and therapy drives me up the wall. it’s tough and i’ve considered quitting a lot, but… i’ve been on my own since i was ten, basically. “i’ve been an competent adult since i was twelve years old.” it really f***s you up to know so sincerely that 1) it really is that easy to leave everything behind you and 2) all those people who were meant to protect you never did and never bother trying to contact you now. so… that’s my story, i guess.

Image credits: thespinesmoustache

#21

Got kicked out two days after my 18th birthday with nothing kept my car my purse everything. Let me come back the following day which I did got all my stuff and left.

Got pregnant shortly after, married before my daughter was born. Worked and went to schools eventually moving out of state.

Currently married to someone else have a 20 year old and a 9 year old and am happy a lot happier than where I was.

Several tries have been made to reconnect but they have failed due to my parents always wanting stuff I am not willing to do such as going to church, letting them in on every part of my life. I stay in contact through email or text every six months or so. I do have a niece and a sister I talk to a little more consistently but as a whole haven’t seen any of them in twelve years at least. None have met my youngest. My dad haven’t talked to him since my oldest was seven even then I walked into the house and we said hi and he walked out.

Image credits: ohokpigmen

#22

I’m not sure if this would really be classed as running away, but with how overbearing my family was, it felt like it in some ways. I was 19, nearly 20, and I had just started my first year of university. I lied to my family and said I was required to live on campus in the first year, because I was desperate for a taste of independence and freedom from them. It was only a half hour drive away, but that was long enough to ensure they wouldn’t visit – they wouldn’t go out of their way to visit, but it was expected that I would for them (bare in mind I can’t drive).

It wasn’t even 2 weeks since I’d moved away that me and my dad were texting and he said something that rubbed me the wrong way and I ended up calling him out on the s**t him and his mother had put me through over the years. Of course he feigned ignorance and refused to even acknowledge my accusations. Eventually he suggested we should just go our separate ways, and I didn’t bother replying. I knew him very well, if I had tried to fix things he would have ‘won’, and if I agreed to not have anything to do with him he would have felt like he was his decision not mine. I didn’t want him to feel like he was in control, and I didn’t want him to have any closure.

I very nearly faced homelessness at the end of my first year of university, but my partner suggested that we move in together. We unfortunately had to live in my hometown because of his work, and it wasn’t a big town, so I spent over two years terrified every time I left the flat, in case I bumped into them. I also changed my entire name, because every time people called my name it felt like I was still my family’s property. I’ve since graduated from university with a 2:1 in Psychology, Counselling and Therapies, and I’ve been looking for work for almost a year. My partner suffered a very severe case of depression, and was unable to bring himself to go to work, which caused a lot of worry for both of us about finances and paying bills. His family was extremely supportive, and they stepped in to help us big time, and we both really appreciate all the help they’ve provided. A few months ago we moved out of my hometown and in with my partners family, and I’m having better luck with getting job interviews. It’s freeing to not fear for my safety every time I leave the house, and I’m also now on anti-depressants which are a huge help, and I’m seeking therapy for the first time in 23 years. It’s only been two or three months since my partner and I moved, but our relationship has become significantly stronger, and our mental health has improved.

Image credits: Lil-Night

#23

My pops took off when he was 17. Bored with small town life, he quit school and joined the Navy. While he traveled around and saw the world, he sent money back to his mom who was still raising his younger siblings. He only returned once, when he heard his older brother had moved back into his mom’s house and was being a*****e and taking her money. So he went on leave, flew home and whooped his brother’s a*s. After he kicked his brother out and set things right, he went back to work. Couple years later, he got married and had some kids. After he retired, he got his GED, and went to college for business.

Image credits: Triangle_Graph

#24

I ran away at 16 (with my now husband) to escape an a*****e mother who is an a****t. We lived in s****y motels for a month running from the police, and then my grandmother bought a condo that we eventually moved in to together. It was honestly the best thing I ever did for myself. My mother is so toxic and dangerous that I needed out. My husband and I have been together for 9 years this July. I’m forever thankful I had the strength to get up and leave.

Image credits: anon

#25

My parents were extremely a*****e my entire life. The month after I turned 17, I packed a few changes of clothes and moved in with a friend for the remainder of my junior year of high school. His mom ended up having to move for a job, and I landed in a 10 month long a*****e and manipulative relationship my senior year of high school. During this time, I also joined the national guard, which would later give me access to a free education. I worked 30 hours a week for minimum wage to pay for my rent for living with my significant other’s family, on top of also taking 2-3 college classes in addition to my HS classes I needed to graduate.

I left in 2013, and I graduate college next year with no debt, and I will have also completed two minors along with my education degree. Earlier this week, I was given an award and a scholarship by the state organization for my major 🙂 it all worked out in the end. It has gradually gotten easier over the years. The hardest bump in the road was when my friend’s mom tearfully told me that she was moving away and that I had to find somewhere else to go. We were extremely close, but she had to leave. She had a pistol that she kept behind her bed, and I picked it up that day and just looked at it and contemplated for a while. I figured life couldn’t possibly get any worse at that moment and decided to just keep trying, because it honestly could not get worse. I can honestly say that right now I am at the highest point I have ever been in.

the hardest thing now is going to college without a financial safety net to fall back on. Everyone else I know either has family that pays their rent, or supports them in some way. I have a desk job and a factory job where I work til 12:30 at night, and I have 8 am classes every day. I have my own health insurance policy, car insurance, dental, phone bill, utilities, rent, etc. I make enough to where I can pay everything and have a little left over, but d**n do I work for it. Thankfully, I began working full time as soon as I got my first job, so I’ve had a few years to develop a work ethic and to learn to manage my money.

Image credits: alphierose

#26

I left home when I was 17. Thinking back now it was the best thing I ever did. Right around the time you start to want to get a job and get your learners license just like everyone else I couldn’t. What I didn’t know being my 16 year old self was that my mother brought me on a plane to Canada from the UK at the age of 1 and just kept me here. Never filed any papers to say that I even existed. I was essentially a ghost.

In Canada you can send your child to school so long as the guardian is either a permanent resident or a citizen. Therefore the school never asked questions. I got my first job when I was 19, super late to the party. I was lucky enough to have some truly wonderful people I barely knew take me in. I am now in the process of attaining Canadian citizenship despite having lived here since I was 1. So I will never regret running away because if I hadn’t left then I would be a 24 year old man with nothing to my name.

Image credits: HotelAnvil

#27

My aunt left home at 15 because she was on d***s and had gotten into trouble. My Dad was about 10 at the time. She was probably going to be arrested, so she took off. My grandmother, her mother, didn’t hear from her for 3 years. In that time she did any d**g she could get her hands on, hitchhiked with some hippies (it was 1972) and made her way to California. There she did some more d***s and got Hep C.

The story gets better. She got clean, reached out to my grandfather, and let him visit. She had begun building a life and had some good friends. She met and married a man, and the had a baby when she was in her early 20s. Then she dumped the guy and raised her son alone. She met another guy, and they were together a long time and raised her son together. That man has passed away, but her son (my cousin) still thinks of him as Dad.

Then, she sold her house to go to college. She finished undergrad, than grad school while my cousin was a teenager. She got back in touch with and got close to my dad, a married man by the time with myself and my brother either there or on the way. She completed her masters and became a professor at a small, community college in California. Her son moved out, and sort of smoked weed and did nothing until he got his gf pregnant. They didn’t work out, but he stepped up to be a father, and got a much better job and a house. He met a kindergarten teacher who loved children when his kid was 2, and married her. They had two more kids, and his first lives with them full time because the mom kind of disappeared. His wife is a Pinterest mom who takes them to Disney as the characters, and he’s gainfully employed. My wayward aunt retires from her tenured position next year to spend more time as the doting grandmother.

Image credits: Just_A_Faze

#28

I left after reaching my breaking point of realizing I was gonna end up k**ling myself if I stayed any longer with my parents. I ended up living with my ex gfs dad for a few weeks then moving off into the middle of nowhere in this trailer with holes in the walls and no ac or food. It was horrible as we couldn’t leave the house but once a week tops and the nearest place to get food was 20 miles away. A few months of that I started drinking everyday to numb the pain of everything going on. I eventually moved away from that place and came to a bigger city and then I was living with my grandma and my sisters baby daddy who I got into more d***s with. Started smoking every day, got into bars and other stuff. I ended up failing to commit s*****e and was in a rehab place for a few weeks. Then an old friends family reached out to me and offered to take me in a take care of me in my situation. They moved me 8 hours away and all 5 of us lived in a “tiny home” (less than 400 square feet). I was there two months before something came up and I had to move back to my grandmas place. Two months later I’m in yet another place. 6 roommates in a two bedroom apartment. Tho this is the first place I’ve lived in the past year we’re I don’t feel like I’m rotting away and I’ve really bonded with 2 of the other 5 people. We all spend a lot of time hanging out and talking and going on long drives past midnight to get away. I feel really connected with them and while I’ve lived with some generous people in the past, there’s nothing like living with people who actually spend time showing they care about me and invest time into showing it.

I left home and ended up moving all over the place. I’m a nomad in a sorts. And getting close to people now I really scary and stressful because I don’t know when or if I’ll be taken away from them. One day at a time and I’m trying to get a job now that I think I’ll be in one place for more than just a few months. I have friends that care about me and people to confide in. Things could be a lot worse and I’m just thankful I didn’t end up dead. S***s rough.

Image credits: corbinmcqueen

#29

My mother ab*sed me my entire life, violently. I have lasting physical disability due to her ab*se. My father has been dead longer than he was ever in my life, and before that he was an alcoholic.

I turned 18 and for some stupid reason I thought that meant the ab*se would end. It did not. She beat and molested me for the last time a week after I turned 18. I put on a pair of shoes and walked out.

I was homeless for a few weeks. I was able to find help at a few shelters and started working towards getting my GED (I hadn’t seen the inside of a school since 4th grade) and hopefully a job. They kicked us out every morning and didn’t let us back in until late at night. It was summer, in Phoenix, but I met a lot of people that I still consider friends of a kind.

My estranged siblings (dad’s kids from a previous marriage) ended up finding me online and offered me a room. From there, I’ve been slowly rebuilding my life. Four days ago, it turned a decade from the moment I walked out.

It hasn’t been easy. I still feel homeless. I don’t think I’ll ever really settle into a place- we didn’t have reliable housing when I was a kid either and home has never been home. I have a husband now though and that’s something. I still see my siblings regularly. I’m going to school.

I don’t regret walking out. If I hadn’t, she would have k**led me. Some days, I think dying would have been for the best because a lot of my life is permanently damaged due to the ab*se.

But I guess I’m still here anyway.

Image credits: Cranksta

#30

Family found out I was gay. had to pack my life into one suitcase and never looked back.

Image credits: DangerousGuest9685

#31

I had to leave my home during Hurricane Katrina. I remember watching everything I owned disappear under floodwater on the news. We evacuated to a relative’s place, crammed in with a dozen others. It was overwhelming, but what hit the hardest was starting over with nothing but the clothes on our backs. No pictures, keepsakes, or even my dog’s leash survived. It’s been years, and while we’ve rebuilt, I still sometimes look back and think about the life we had before the storm.

#32

A friend of mine had to flee her home because of a stalker. She moved to a new city and started over, leaving all her belongings behind.

#33

Ran away at 14 from my nmom. F****d up doing d***s for the next couple years. Found my dad at 16… Found out he was just as bad as nmom. Kicked out of his place at 17. Currently 19, just got my drivers license, worked a small job and got a place to stay (with my bf who’s been here through the past 5 years) and now trying to find a real job to support our life together. Haven’t talked to nmom since I ran away, haven’t talked to ndad since my 18th birthday. Life’s finally looking up.

#34

I was 18 so I don’t know if this counts.
Currently 19. Don’t know if that helps.

I couch surfed for 3 months. I subletted for two, now I’m on a month to month lease for the past 10 months. Moving states in June.

My mom has been a*****e for most of my memorable life. Smoking, drinking, d***s. Mental and physical ab*se as well as a lot of neglect. When I turned 18 it actually started to get worse, she became desperate to retain her power over me. I turned 18 in October. I left in March.

Before that, she kept kicking me out for very minor things, like working hours she didn’t want me to, taking classes she didn’t want me to (I paid for them), hanging out with friends, trying to have a birthday party, seeing my sister/nephew, etc.

One day she called me and told me that I should go to the shelter that night.

I went to my friends house crying. I laid on the ground and just sobbed. She basically told me something had to give. She told me her fiancé left home when he was my age and was homeless for a bit. My mom told me to come home the next day like nothing happened. The day after, she tried to push me down the stairs after I got in an argument with my sister. I grabbed the railing so my mom kicked me and when I didn’t budge she spat on me. I grabbed a bag and shoved some stuff I cared about in it and never looked back.

She actually stalked me for a long time. She came to my work and harassed coworkers for my schedule, she showed up to my school and friends house. When I knew she was in town I’d get on the bus and just go anywhere, I knew I wasn’t safe anywhere that I might feel safe. She’d find me.

Life is good now. My bad dreams have left, my anxiety has lessened. I’m in a really happy relationship. I reconnected with my childhood best friend who I realized I missed dearly. My mom still texts me a lot. Lots of guilt trippy stuff about me leaving her, some mildly threatening stuff. I don’t respond.

Sometimes, it seems so far away. I know the things she did really affect my anxiety levels and my trust, but without her influence on my life I feel like a different person.

I wonder if one day I’ll be like her, one terrible ball of hatred and regret. Every day I strive to accept the circumstances I’m in hoping that one day I’ll look back and realize that I’m more than what she gave me.

De profundis clamavi ad te, Domine;
Domine, exaudi vocem meam.

#35

Stayed in my car for a few months. Then all over. Several states and jobs.

Now I live in Seattle and I’m sous chef at a pretty decent little French place.

#36

An old classmate of mine walked off of campus one day; didn’t go home, and somehow ended up in New York with a girlfriend in an apartment up there. He probably stole some money from his absentminded, extremely well off parents, and has been in and out of d**g rehab a few times, which he got into (I’m assuming) to pay rent on the apartment. Weirdest memory I’ve got of him is him asking a guy on the Lacrosse team to choke him for a high.

#37

I left home at 14. My parents (who are devorced and both re married) are d**g addicts. I spent the previous few years moving back and forth between my mom and dad. When I have had enough of watching one set (parent and step parent) strung out like a zombie I would move to the others.

When I left my uncle took me in until I turned 16. After that I crashed on family/ friends couches. I moved into my own place (roommate) at 18.

My dad and stepmom died a few years back. Not at the same time but a few months apart. My mom and stepdad are still around I talk to them maybe once a month. They only call if they need a ride because I won’t give them money. It sucks to say but the wrong parent died.

I got married at 20 and I am an electrician. I have three kids and am still happily married.

#38

Well, I left at 15. Lived with a friend and his family for about 6 months. They then moved away, and I moved into a seedy motel. While going to high school, and working 39.5 hours a week (so I wasn’t full time).

I finished high School and moved to the city. I worked while applying to the army.

Joined the army at 17 by signing a declaration that I couldn’t’t contact parents. Was in 3 years. ..

Life has been good. You know it’s got its fair share of challenges but so does everyone . Never talked to the family again, though my father tried contacting me about a month before he died. I accepted a facebook request, though refused to call him or see him in the hospital the day he died.

#39

Three of my mom’s cousins ran away from my great aunt and uncle on their 16th birthdays. They each hitchhiked to Florida. My great aunt and uncle eventually moved to Florida and now they have great relationships with their kids.

#40

I was 7 when I left my mothers and never came back. Actually she kicked me out but thank god I knew the way to my grandparents house.

She was an extremely a*****e alcoholic who was also a prostitute. I would get beaten for anything, like she lost the battery to her mobile phone and gave me 30 seconds to find it once, I didn’t and went to school with a black eye. The school believed her when she said I fell off my bike. One night for one eventful beating I screamed too loud and the neighbours called the police, they came and asked me in private what happened. I told them I’d been naughty and was screaming because I wanted something, in reality I’d not done anything and she told me if I told the police the truth she would k**l me. She chased me with a knife once, didn’t feed me for days on end and the only food I’d get was my school lunches, she spent all of my birthday money on alcohol, sold my PlayStation, had several relationships with men who I believe tried to help her and me, but she refused and eventually there was men coming and going from the house. It took me until high school to find out she was a prostitute as everyone in town knew.

I wasn’t a social kid, had trouble interacting with people and couldn’t sleep alone or wet the bed for a few years after. I’m still a bit f****d up from it all but I’m the best I’ve ever been and I only plan to keep getting better.

Looking back, being 7 and walking the mile to my grandparents house seemed like an eternity, but they saved my life and I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for them.

#41

My dad left home at 15, after he and his dad had a physical altercation. he didn’t have a good childhood- his father was an alcoholic and a druggie with untreated ptsd, and his mother was never home. my dad dropped out of high school (where he was in the top 30 of his school) to make his own income, and was taken in by his best friend’s family until he joined the army at 18. he never looked back, and although we know his dad died 12 years ago, i never had contact with my grandfather.

#42

My family has known this other family for 40 years. This family’s son left home in his mid teens. Initially, when I heard, I thought it was teenage rebellion, and he’d come home. He never came home. As far as I know, he’s happy, living the life anyone of us might dream of. He’s married, and has kids and the last I heard, is happy.

I don’t know is exact whereabouts. His parents might, but it’s possible they don’t. We’re still friends with his parents. They don’t talk at all about him publicly, and even after a lot of alcohol they don’t even talk about him. And that makes me sad.

His dad is a retired Marine and didn’t tolerate marijuana use in the house, so his son, tired of that mindset and his dad’s strict rule of law, left. His mom doesn’t say much. I think she sides with her husband, but I can’t gauge how much she misses or doesn’t miss her son.

Honestly, the whole thing breaks my heart. Their son left home when I was 21 and he was 15. At the time, I understood and sympathized with him packing up his s**t and leaving. As a 43 year old man now, I disagree with myself. I couldn’t imagine kicking my son out of the house and never seeing him again. Life is too short. My heart breaks for them all.

#43

Grandma and all of her daughters (mom included) ran away from my grandfather after years of ab*se. They bounced around at different friends’ homes until my grandma and mom saved up enough money to get a house and officially divorce my grandfather. My grandma barely knows her own name now, my mom’s a*****e, and the rest of my aunts are their own special kind of stupid.

#44

Ran out of the house at 17 and never went back. Best decision of my life and I’m happy with how things turned out.

#45

TL;DR: My mother in law ran away to elope with a man who turned out to be a convicted child s*x offender. We have kids, so we cut her/them out of our lives — so far it’s been great!

Long version:

I’m not sure if this counts, but two years ago, my mother in law divorced my father in law, and moved away to a new state for, as she put it, a “fresh start” and her “dream job of teaching blind children to read.” As it actually turned out, that’s where her boyfriend lived — and *he* turned out to be a convicted child molester. And he confessed to it (she tried to feed us some sob story).

Then she married him, despite the fact that we have children and nieces and nephews (her grandchildren), and we warned her that we didn’t like where things were headed. We eventually went no contact.

The last time we spoke to her (12+ months), she claimed she’s happier now than she’d ever been before, but could we please let her and her new husband come visit our new baby? Her mother calls us occasionally to guilt us about disowning her, citing that she’s always crying. Not happening. We won’t risk our children just because she’s “family.”.

#46

Me and my mum never really clicked she was a hardcore Christian. She kicked me out when I was 16 so I left school and bummed around couch surfing drinking and smoking weed. After a party I saw a couch down the side of a house and not having any better options I headed off to sleep. I was woken up to a slap in the face by an old Italian man he made me clean his yard for not calling the police, while doing this we got to talking he gave me a job and let me live in his shed for free.

I can now concrete and operate a bobcat and excavator and have just bought a tipper truck and excavator of my own and now subcontract to old Johnny the man who saved my life.

#47

I bounced around a lot from the age of 13, I was a serial runner. Brought back by the police, paid for my siblings school uniforms with d**g money.

My home life was pretty rough, my hard working Dad was away for nights at a time so I was at home with my two younger siblings while my lonely, severely depressed mother drank herself into oblivion and would attack me and my father when he was home. I was called a s**t from the age of 7 and repeatedly burned with a fire stoker and worse but I won’t bore you too much.

At first, I was 14 and ended up in an a*****e relationship, sold d***s to earn a bit of freedom, s**t went south from there pretty quickly.
I rode out high school for the next couple of years off my face and bruised from either my Mum or my piece of s**t ex. Decided to get a proper job, get clean, leave the POS ex and get a license with the help of my Dad by 16.

The hours I worked at this fast food job really conflicted with school, my Aunt was housing me then and really trying to help but I hated being in a functional family because it only made me more miserable about what was happening at my home. The duties of caring for my Mum and siblings was too much for me to concentrate on school work so they ended up kicking me out four weeks before graduation. I kept working my s**t kicking job and a friend I stayed with from time to time brought me in to her work after a few months and I began casual Administration duties. From there it looked up.

My dad wanted me back, but I wouldn’t budge, my Mum had started attacking me even while sober at this point.

Eventually, my Dad divorced my Mum and invited me back in to what now is a safe home where he’s currently having my partner and our daughter stay while we save to buy a house. I’m a qualified social worker specialising in Family violence and homelessness in the same organisation, I travelled, I experienced things that shaped me.

Not bad for a 20 year old who was kicked out of school.

#48

On a throwaway account. I left home when I was 15–I never say I ran away, though–I told my mother I was leaving. She called the cops to report me, and other than that, never made an effort to try to get me to come home. She had been through years of domestic/s*xual violence with my father (she’d left him when I was nine). It manifested in emotional ab*se against me, with continuous depression that permeated the house. My brother lived with my father. My father has severe mental health issues, but is also sleazy, immoral, and dangerous. I lived in a variety of situations, including a Christian girls’ home, then by myself when I turned 16. A well-off family took me in for a year and essentially became my new family, though there are limits to our relationships. I’m 40 and I still feel like an outsider looking in. I see the benefits their biological children have–it would make a fascinating research project because I can completely see the lifelong impact this situation can have on someone.

I ended up moving countries, working my derriere off, and getting into one of the top schools in the US ( I did my doctorate and MA in the US). There has never been any room in my life to f**k up (one of the benefits that said biological children have). I have spent years building buffers around myself because if something happens, I don’t have a family to back me (even that family who took me in). Things are still very difficult–outwardly I am a successful academic (at an awful school) but I have loans from doing my PhD (the new family pushed me into). I am engaged in a continuous process of trying to improve my situation and I am exhausted.

There is research that shows adverse childhood experiences (ACE) have a longitudinal impact on health and well-being. Nadine Burke Harris’ The Deepest Well addresses this. I have had a number of autoimmune issues (apparently very common in these situations). My brother had a severe heart attack at 40.

I’m single (by choice) and child-free for a number of reasons. One is that I want to stop the cycle. Another is that I’ve had enough stress in my life. My brother ended up repeating family patterns–lots of children to lots of women. A sleazy profession. I feel for those kids.

My father was born in a displaced persons camp post-WWII. Both of his parents were forced labor into Germany. On my mother’s side, my grandfather was forced labor too. My grandfather who my paternal grandmother married was also forced labor. His refugee photograph is haunting. I often think about the intergenerational trauma remaking itself in each generation.

Very few people know about my background. On the outside, I hold things together, am a high achieving Type A personality, widely published, a kick-a*s lecturer, with a fondness for puns. On the inside, I’m still struggling. I have an awesome therapist. But it’s still awful realizing/unpacking things in therapy, knowing that my biological family just let me go. I was also marked as the black sheep for daring to speak about the ab*se.

Thank you for asking this question. It’s comforting to know that others have been in this situation. We are our own tribe.

#49

I never considered it running away from home but in a way I left and never came back. I was waiting until I was 16 to move out since you can legally leave your parent’s house at that age where I live and I was figuring out a new situation. I was having a really hard time at home with my mother and her long term boyfriend. They were impossible to live with and I was suffering some health issues due to the stress. So I wrote a letter to my Grandmother who lives over sea’s that I was going to wait until my birthday and try to find another living situation. My mother read the letter and freaked, she told me if I was going to leave I could get out now( about a week before my 16th birthday). So I left, I went to a friends overnight and then found a long term youth shelter to stay at the next day.

I had some cloths and a few personal belongings and that was it. I applied for government assistance since the shelter provided a long term stay with daily meals and they charged $300 a month. Everyone there was on government assistance and I was the only one in school. I was denied assistance, all because my mother said to them she wanted me to come home. It didn’t matter the extent of the mental and verbal ab*se, if my parents were willing to take me back and I was under 18 they wouldn’t give me assistance. I ended up not going home, my mother never tried to contact me and I couldn’t handle trying to get in touch with her to work things out, she is a pathological liar and it made things really hard.

In the end I worked part time in the evenings and went to school. I payed my way and took care of myself. I was a great resident at the shelter and they saw how hard I worked so they let me stay longer than was allowed (6 months) until I got an apartment on geared to income living. I had a few friends places I would sleep over at on occasion just to get some normalcy but I never really let them know how my life was really going.

I never did go home and my mother and I have a very tough relationship nowadays. She never tries to talk about our issues or ask why I left and if we can work on things. My counsellor helped me arrange family therapy once and my whole family showed up, younger brother, step dad, when it was suppose to just be my Mother. I waited with them and after the therapist was running 10 minute late, they got angry and left. That was my first time seeing or talking to them in almost a year.

I eventually got through school and started working full time, I worked hard to get where I am and I have the worlds best husband to show for it. I never at 16 years old thought that 13 years later I would have my own home and a great relationship with my spouse. All in all I have always been an independent person and I definitely have regrets about my youth and the way my life could have gone but honestly I turned out fairly well adjusted. I am a positive person and I try to always be the best human I can be, so growing up with a rough life didn’t turn out too bad. Thanks for reading, sorry for the huge rant!

#50

I don’t know if this counts since my mom kicked me out of the house when I was 15, but she told everyone I ran away, and made me out to be a bad kid. I was sick of the emotional ab*se and her telling me I was a disappointment / wouldn’t amount to anything.

I ended up getting taken in by my grandparents, and my best friend’s parents unofficially adopted me. They helped shape me into who I am today, and for that I am eternally grateful. My best friend was my rock anytime I started to stray from the decently straight and narrow path. I am the only one in my family to have a university degree, I now have a great job, wonderful friends, and I have worked very hard for everything I have achieved in life.

I worked two jobs to save up and travel Europe, and I now work everyday to help better the lives of kids who are going through a their own tough times. As hard as it was, my teenage years makes it easier to understand and empathize with the kids I meet within my career.

My grandparents always said “You are who you hang out with”, so if you are going to run away in search of a better/different life, make sure to find some strong and healthy supports.

#51

I didn’t really run away as much as I decided to leave. I was 21, living with my mother who is crazy a*****e, mostly psychologically. For years she was brainwashing me into thinking my dad is the worst human being, because of the way I was raised by her and severe social issues I have developed borderline personality and a form of sociopathy. One day, when ab*se got physical as well and I had to defend my at the time underaged sister from her, I realised I can’t do this anymore. I reported her to the police, but I was treated as a perpetrator – apparently men can’t be victims of domestic ab*se. She also lied to police that I was kicking and beating her, which isn’t true at all. So I left with barely any money and still in college. I had my girlfriend help me, I lived in the dorms and sometimes at her place. I had to live with poor scholarship and pay off debts and the punishment I was fined with by the police. This went on for nearly two years. In that time, I flunked college, repeated the last year, didn’t finish it, fell into deep depression, I moved to a different city, lived in basically poverty, couldn’t land a job and girlfriend left me, I attempted s*****e and was in mental hospital for a month, after I was released I moved in with my dad where I still am. I am 24 now, had birthday just yesterday. I am lonely, no friends, working part time and struggling to land a full time job. Mentally I am a bit more stable and at least I don’t live in constant fear anymore, but I won’t lie when I say that the last two years and especially the breakup and s*****e attempt made me feel kinda empty on the inside. I don’t have much hope for the future, I know that I should since I got out of that situation, but I maintain a “I don’t care either way” attitude. All in all, I guess I’ll survive, but I don’t find much meaning to my life.

#52

I’m really late to this, so might not get noticed but I can finally contribute to a thread.

Parents split at age 5, I got put with the extremely mentslly a*****e father but got to live with my best friend (dog – spot). Ran away 12 years later in the middle of my second year of A Levels, leaving a dying best friend behind that I’ll regret for the rest of my life. The college was really supportive and he tried to call up and threaten me etc. But they told him to stop calling etc.

Lived in shared housing. The first one was with nice housemates who had dangerous boyfriends, had my room broken into numerous times and anything of value stolen. A few times there were serious arguments going on basically in the room next to me. In the second house I had my cheap bike stolen 🙁 but the housemates were nice. Got okay A level results and went off to Uni because I had no better plans.

Uni wasn’t good. I barely scraped through as I was awful at studying, met a counsellor who diagnosed me with depression (apparently had it since I was young) and the counsellor then left so I lost the will to keep going and seeing another one. Made some really good friends while there, some who I still speak to occasionally now. Didn’t get my degree as it all got too much and I spent most of my time sleeping. Came back to live with my mum who isn’t a good parent but is a nice person overall.

Struggled through depression but couldn’t get a job for 4 years, eventually got a s**t end job with c**p pay and awful hours. Two years later I got some agency work and met another amazing friend, who eventually helped me get a good stepping stone job in the UK civil service. This helped me move into shared rental housing which is cool 🙂

I recently quit that job for a financial administration position, and this looks like it’s going to be permanent!

I’m still struggling with my interpersonal skills, im part of a sports club but my social skills suck and I’m boring overall. Depression f*****g sucks, to everyone out there check on your close friends, it’s not always obvious but it can wreck a person.

#53

I ran away from home when I was 17. Stayed at my painting teacher’s place until I went to university in the UK. Graduated with first honours, went on to work at a Fortune 500 company. I’m 26 now, still paying back student loan debt but otherwise living carefree. I still have contact with my relatives, just not my own family.

My dad started s*xually abusing me when I was 12, I did what I thought was right: I told my mum. But she reacted with jealousy and my life just got worse after that. All my life I plotted to revenge, and my form of revenge was to live a wonderful life. Don’t want to let them destroy or define me by their actions. Worked hard during high school to save up some money for university.

I think, while I have the shittiest parents, I met wonderful people in my life. My painting teacher was god-sent; the first them I went to her house she knew that I needed help. Took me in without asking what really happened.

#54

This doesn’t technically apply, but I left home at 16 to live with my then-boyfriend-now-husband’s-family. All 3 of us kids had to leave the house because it was the middle of the school year and our electricity was shut off. My sister went to live with her boyfriend’s family, and my brother went to live with a friend of his.

Fast forward a few months, my parents finally get their s**t together and get the power back on. It was kind of the situation of:

“Sooo are you moving back now?”

“Nope.”

“Okay.”

And that was basically it. I think my parents knew I was done with their s**t and were also relieved not to have to have another mouth to feed so they just kind of let it go. Plus, before all of this happened they had just revealed to me that they didn’t *actually* know who my dad was and that it *might* have been the ‘dad’ I grew up with or might be some guy my mom cheated on him with. So I think they knew I was just pretty much fed up with them.

So yeah. I lived with them for a while before we got married and left for college. We married young. We eventually moved back to the hometown ‘area’ because he got a good paying job here. He finished his degree last year, and I’m finishing mine up next May. We are very happy with two beautiful german shepherds and a cat and we are currently looking to buy a house. So life is going pretty good and I’m actually (surprisingly) optimistic that it will keep being good.

I keep in contact with my parents and we have an okay relationship, but I have had to establish a lot of boundaries. They can be very manipulative and you won’t even notice that they’re taking advantage of you and it’s taken years for me to establish the boundaries (and grow the backbone) to deal with them on a regular basis.

#55

My mom’s a narcissist and made my life hell from 16-20. Curiously, I don’t remember my childhood being very bad at all though.

I finally broke free when I turned 20. I met my girlfriend and moved to her country with my entire life packed in a suitcase, life’s been good despite having a rough bump with her recently.

What’s interesting about my story though is I *did* kind of go back. And this post is for you – Thinking if you should reconnect or not. Don’t. I went back to my mom’s place for vacation with my SO a year and a half after and she treated us (more importantly, her) like s**t. After that episode and the fact she tried to ram me down *with my own car, the car I bought with my own money* because quote “I was using it too much and ruining it” even though my current car is much better, I reconnected and had an *okay* relationship for the better part of a year.

After having some relationship issues with my SO earlier this year that we’ve since solved, I broke down and looked for some advice and comfort from my mom. This time though I realized she’s a miserable, s**t person who’ll never be happy – Not necessarily from the advice but from the way she treated me. I had the bad luck of breaking the back window of the car (remember, the one I bought?) and over the extraordinary sum of 200€ for a replacement, since she didn’t pay for window insurance, I got called a waste of space, an idiot, a f*****g crazy deluded idiot and that’s why my girlfriend wants to leave me. Despite, you know, being multitudes more successful both in career and financially than anyone in my family despite being 24.

Don’t do it. They’ll never change.

#56

Mine isn’t because of a hate of my parents or siblings or anythings like that, I just always felt like and finally decided that I didn’t want to live in Mississippi anymore.

It started with me saving up money from my 3 jobs, working as a soccer referee on the weekends, working at a sub shop at night, and helping my neighbor, who was a general contractor do jobs at a pay way lower than somebody more qualified would accept.

Anyway I eventually decided to take a job working in Yellowstone NP and stayed there for 2 summers, living in my car for the winter season just hiking and taking photos and earning small amounts of money writing articles about hiking trails and submitting pictures for travel information center pamphlets.

This eventually (somehow) led to me doing a 1 year work holiday visa in Australia where I became more serious about being a chef and amateur photographer. That year ended with me working as a cook in a ski resort in Australia.

From there I moved to Colorado to continue my passion for cooking and snowboarding. And again (somehow) this led to me doing my current job. Teaching English in Asia. Life is weird, but I think normal is weird so for me it’s pretty ideal.

To make a long story short I still keep in touch with my family and even meet them in cool places to have vacations together. I won’t lie it is hard to not see my 3 living grandparents that are all in their 90s now, but I have always liked writing and they love to receive pictures and letters from places they have never heard of before.

So I suppose I didn’t really run away or anything but I did make a decision to never go back to Mississippi long ago. I’m beginning to think now that this was a mistake and I will definitely go back eventually, just for a visit though.

#57

My dad lived several states away, and I lived with my alcoholic mom and her boyfriend. My dad came up for a visit, mom got angry about something minor and unrelated, decided to “punish” me by not allowing me to see my dad (at that point I only saw him once per year). I ran away, a sheriff found me walking towards town, called my dad. Dad picked me up, we tried to arrange for me to be emancipated, but it didn’t pass. I didn’t want to live with my dad, seeing as I had spent my entire life living in the area I was in, and I was about to start my senior year of high school. I wound up living with a teacher, not speaking to my mom for several years.

Our relationship is kind of rocky right now, but we keep in touch. More like an aunt/niece-type of relationship. My dad is one of my best friends. More than ten years have passed, and I wouldn’t dream of having my life be any other way. I definitely have mental issues due to years of verbal/emotional ab*se (as well as some physical), but I’m coping pretty well. Life is peachy now!

#58

I “ran away” at 19. Got to the point that I knew if I went home I wouldn’t be able to leave the house again. Was hard, all I had was 600 in savings, the clothes on my back and what ever was in my backpack.

I couch hopped for quite a bit. I applied for a dependency override so I could continue my education. Moved in with my long time SO (still together). Eventually graduated college with my chemical engineering degree.

I only regret not being able to be physically there for my little brothers, though now that I’m out I’m able to put money on their school accounts so they at least have one meal a day no matter what. I grieve for the parents I never really had, but I feel like an actual person now. I have my own wants and hopes, not just “I want to be full tonight and not be bruised in the morning”.

#59

I tried living with both parents and an aunt before I finally got fed up with every one acting like they knew me and what was best for me without actually knowing me if that makes sense.

I just felt like everyone was judging me without offering any actual help.

I ran away to live with my boyfriend and cut off my family for about a year. I guess I just felt I had to prove to them that I could handle my s**t without their constant nagging. The only person that really got the point was my dad. My mom is still an incessant judgemental nag.

I married that boyfriend btw. Going on 12 years now.

#60

I got kicked out one too many times and just couch surfed with friends until I was able to get some money for an apartment. I stayed in my friends family home until halfway through freshman year of college and then moved on from there. Luckily I was never usually home in the first place.

No one told me it wasn’t normal to fear going home. I had anxiety and depression issues because of it. Lots of counseling. I live a normal life now but I’m still not a very stable adult. I use d***s to numb the pain.

#61

I ran to a friend’s house and got a job. I finished high school. I went to the Marines. I hated it from the first second I started but needed out. I got a separation for failing to disclose my medical history, and sent home during boot camp. I did stay at my mother’s for a couple weeks but her deep neurosis had gotten toxic. I left again. I was finally 18. I went to NYC. I was homeless. I took acid and Molly at raves. I danced til 6am and ate food from carts and chuches. I discovered art, philosophy, my own soul. I got jobs, I dated, I moved to various states, and am moving to Portland in three months. Life is hard. I have PTSD from the ab*se as a kid. My mother died of a h****n o******e two years ago (I’m nearly 30. She was 47). However, I am digging myself out. I drive a new car. I have a full time job with a salary. Most importantly I have my fiancee and my cats. I am living my best me. I am proud. I did what I had to.

#62

I ran away at 18. Yeah, I know.. legal adult and all that c**p, but at the time I was part-timing at Arby’s and taking a few classes. I had just gotten my first girlfriend, so hormones were raging and clouding my judgement. My dad and I had never gotten along well (we do now) and it felt like he was overworking me with chores to the point where I could hardly see that girlfriend.

Come nighttime, I leave with all I can take, to go stay with her, and tell no one. I stop going to class because I don’t have a car, walk to and from work, get charged $500 rent and (this is 2005 and I make $250/2 weeks). About 3 months later, she breaks up with me after confessing to cheating. After that, I bounce around the houses of some good friends, stay with my grandparents for a year, go back home for another year, and then finally, properly move out in my own.

Throughout that time, I take a couple more classes and realize college isn’t for me. I work at McD’s and make my way up to manager before I quit for my current job in a medical implant factory. I’ve since been promoted 3 times and I now make almost twice what I did as a McD manager. I bought a brand new car in 2015, live in a massive upstairs room at a friends hours paying ~$400 a month, which almost pays for their mortgage, and they love me there.

I made a s**t-ton if mistakes, but I have a rather large work ethic. I also brought a sub-400 credit rating back up to over 700 a year or so ago. Maturation is a hell of a thing.

Edit: my friends and family are better than I could have ever asked for.

#63

Actually, I was kicked out *while* attempting to run away, but still, ran away from home.

Long story short, I had been secretly seeing a girl whom I met through a mutual friend, and my father didn’t like that. He didn’t like that because A) she was black, and B) he thought he was protecting my virginity by not allowing me to date.

So, one night while I was in the shower, he swiped my phone and found all of our lovey dovey and s*xual text messages; note that this was back when everyone had those classic Nokia phones, the unbreakable ones. When I discovered this, after getting out the shower, I decided to make a break for it before he inevitably came into the room to lecture me. I wasn’t about to let him tell me who I could and could not love.

I packed my things and tried to sneak out, but he was waiting for me at the back door! So, he kicked me out instead, into the dead of night. After a *very* long night where my girl and I almost eloped, and ended up staying the night at my grandfather’s house, we all (my family and hers) agreed to play it cool and let us see each other. That wasn’t enough for me though, I was done with my dad.

I moved in with my mother and her family immediately, and finished my senior year of high school with her.

Our relationship is fine now, though I have not forgotten all the ways he hurt me over the years. I could honestly write a book about it.

#64

I graduated high school when I was 17. My dad was (is?) An a*****e jerk. I remember one day shortly after graduating, we got into a huge fight. I was in my.room looking out my window down the street and thinking about just walking out. A little voice in my head said not to go down that path and find a better way out.

In 2 weeks I’d applied to a school 3 hours away, found a place to live and never came back. I don’t talk to my dad anymore and my mom died about 6 years ago. I’m married to an awesome guy who has helped me so much. We have a house and dogs and I just graduated with my 3rd bachelor’s (the first 2 were finished during the economic crash. There was no hope..) in electrical engineering and should have a job soon.

It’s been hell getting here. I’ve been in and out of therapy most of my life. My dad used to drag me into therapists office and b***h about why I didn’t do my chores and it never went well. It took a long time to unpack all the damage-about 10 years so far-and I’m still not done. I’ve been left woth cptsd, anxiety, depression and a recently diagnosed case of adhd. I’m 32 for reference.

#65

A classmate had to leave their home country due to war. They arrived with nothing but the clothes on their back and have been rebuilding their life ever since.

#66

When I got to be about 14, my dad started acting like I was dead weight and needed to be paying rent, etc. By the time I was 16 I couldn’t stand feeling unwelcome in my own home anymore so I packed whatever would fit in my car and lived out of it for awhile before I found a place with some other people.

#67

I left my wife. We were married almost 30 years. Getting treated like mangey dog became the norm. Getting screamed at and berated EVERY DAY. There was no s*x, no love, no affection for over five years. I was severely depressed and borderline s******l. Then I discovered she was cheating. There’s a broken backed camel buried beneath a pile of straw. I only packed what would fit in my jeep. I cried for the first 3 hours of the trip. It’s been 2 years since I left. I regret nothing. Not one person has screamed at me in two years.

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