So many things, including detrimental ones, can seem “cool” or desirable in the movies. For instance, nostalgia over a long-lost love, encouraging the main character to fight for said love time and again, or the melancholy that overtakes one’s mind after a night of drinking and chain-smoking cigarettes.

In reality, neither is actually cool; the first scenario is someone balancing on the thin line between being a romantic and a stalker and the second one, well, that’s no fun in real life, so it probably shouldn’t be romanticized, either. Be that as it may, many things are romanticized by people, despite them being pretty awful in real life.

Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community recently discussed such awful things that people tend to romanticize after one user started a thread about it, and their answers compiled quite an extensive list. If you’re curious to learn what awful things they pointed to, scroll down to find the question that started the discussion and the netizens’ thoughts below.

#1

Mental illness. People want it as an “aesthetic” but it’s actually a living hell being at war with your own mind.

Image credits: disposable_fetish

#2

Fighting a lot with your partner.

No, it’s not “passionate”, it’s quite often just straight up abuse from one or both parties.

Image credits: snufkin79

#3

The “bad boy” BF.

Such-Anything-498:

I went on a date with a guy, and I could tell that he was trying to come off as a bad boy. We went to the same college, so all I could think was “We are both too old for this ?” We did not go on another date.

PositionFar26:

I blame Hollywood for glamorizing it with hunky men in leather jackets

Image credits: UpbeatMarionberry820

#4

The fashion industry. It still actively celebrates dangerously thin bodies above all others. And spending thousands of dollars on a single outfit is kind of disgusting.

Image credits: LoveColonels

#5

Reuniting estranged families. Usual tropes “they love you really” “but she’s your mother”. Irrelevant. S****y people are s****y people and just because they’re FaMiLy doesn’t mean you have to have them in your life.

Image credits: PlinkPlonkFizz

#6

Harassing a woman to go on a date with you after she’s repeatedly turned you down. Real life isn’t like The Notebook.

Image credits: PinkFruityPunch

#7

Travelling for work.

You’ll be going to stupid awkward places you don’t want to go, on a student pittance of a budget. Your decidedly meh hotel is also probably a long way from where you need to be and doesn’t include anything like breakfasts.

Image credits: Shoddy-Computer2377

#8

I had an eating disorder in college and was extremely thin. I was also miserable. My life was consumed by it and I was hungry and cold all the time. Constantly had people tell me how great I looked.

Image credits: PebblesmomWisconsin7

#9

The grindset. When taken to extreme it can be really hard to get out of and extremely detrimental to mental health. Sometimes it leads to people identifying with external goals too much.

Image credits: imakangaroo7

#10

Being a world-famous celebrity.

Every word and action of yours is monitored and judged, and you will be surrounded by people trying to use you and get you into shady stuff.

All the while the masses show endless adoration for the persona you hold that’s not the real you, but the one you and/or your agency created to continue to appeal to your fanbase and keep your job.

The celebrity industry has allowed some very good people to do very good things, but has eaten up and spat out most of the people that come near it.

Image credits: fortifier22

#11

Living in a van.

one_pound_of_flesh:

People think it is camping on the pacific coast and surfing with your hot girlfriend, sleeping in an insta worthy VW van.
In reality it is peeing in a milk jug and parking at Walmart.

Image credits: myjah

#12

Romeo and Juliet. They were teenagers who barely knew each other and they both ended up dead.

Image credits: Notmyrealname

#13

Big weddings – you spend thousands upon thousands of dollars and tons of stress all for show.

SwimmingAir8274:

For one day. You pay enough to put a down-payment on a house for one day…
That will never make sense to me.

Image credits: Critical-Annual-3659

#14

Living in NYC. Tiny living space, expensive, everywhere you go there are people, there’s always a line, one time someone threw a live rat at my friend.

Image credits: luckycharm82

#15

Wine-o culture. It’s weird that we treat binge drinking as a joke.

Image credits: PotatoMuffinMafia

#16

Living in a small town or rural area. It has its pluses and minuses, but it usually isn’t as charming as it looks in Hallmark movies. 

Image credits: SpecialistNo30

#17

“Working for yourself”. Sounds dreamy, right? More like “stressfully juggling ALL the things 24/7”.

Image credits: Icy_Welcome1905

#18

Tradwife ideology is running rampant online with out any consideration of how it actually was to be a housewife in the times they romanticize. It was awful. They don’t want to be 50s housewives, they want to play rich people pretend.

Image credits: Shonky_Honker

#19

Misunderstood talented mad geniuses.

I mean, their results aren’t. Dreadful existences though.

Image credits: Zisx

#20

Guys being possessive of their gfs/wives. Yes it could be cute in a joking manner, but some people just take it too far…

Image credits: Relevant-Marketing83

#21

As a teenager, I thought war sounded so cool. Too many Rambo movies.

Image credits: moneyminded14

#22

“You have to love yourself before anybody else can love you” is some of the most toxic garbage. I’m so tired of hearing it.

Sometimes, especially if you have a history of being abused, it’s really hard to love yourself. Like, you just don’t know how. People have to show you the way. Yeah, I mean it’s ultimately up to you to do the deep inner work but other people can be the lighthouse you need to get there.

People don’t heal in isolation through individualism. I don’t believe in love because of a self-help book, a podcast, some IG influencer guru. I believe in love because my friends chose me to be part of their family, my grandmother made sure I had food and help with my homework when my single mom worked nights, my husband didn’t leave when I was in the trenches of mental illness, because animals and total strangers have shown me kindness and care when I felt ugly and unlovable, and because of how the beauty found in the natural world is made from the same stardust as me ?.

#23

Open relationships.

Image credits: deepthroatcircus

#24

High school.

Accomplished-Kale-77:

It literally irks me more than anything when I hear people say “high school is the best years of your life”
Just screams “I peaked in High school” to me.

Image credits: dottmatrix

#25

Pregnancy. It is romanticized to the point you have no idea what you actually walk into. You’re told it’s some beautiful thing and a good thing for society. Then society shames you no matter your decision for YOUR pregnancy and labor choices and no one tells you about the horrors of it all. ✨ But sure 100% let’s romanticize pregnancy.

Image credits: Ok_Vanilla9496

#26

Genius kids. I am so glad my daughter is within the expectation. I would hate for her to struggle to fit in and be seen as different and “special”. It’s actually really hard to be a genius. I’m not talking from experience, though. I’m very average lol.

Image credits: tightheadband

#27

Growing up with performing parents. I was on the road a lot as a kid, sleeping wherever I could get comfortable, no bed-times, sometimes I didn’t have snacks, usually no babysitter. I was mostly just bored and lonely, and all I wanted a warm bed, structure and an adult to take care of me.

#28

Public proposals, or proposals at another person’s wedding. Just don’t.

Image credits: flugualbinder

#29

Most plotlines in Love Actually.

Image credits: Due-Impress-

#30

Having an overly clingy partner.

Image credits: Real_Elevator5851

#31

Mafias.

They’re not classy criminals with a code. They’re criminal criminals no different from biker gangs (also a little romanticised) or d**g cartels.

Image credits: cewumu

#32

Autism. Especially online. (Saying this as an autistic person).

Image credits: New-Passenger-882

#33

The past. It wasn’t better. It had its own difficulties and good things. Different. I’m a fan of air conditioning and musicals and ebooks.

G00DDRAWER:

You want to live in Renaissance Italy? Enjoy the disease, and odors. I’ll stay here with penicillin and plumbing.

#34

Working on the beach. Sand between keyboard keys is NOT fun.

#35

Gangs/thug life. That’s so awful and dangerous.

#36

Joker and Harley Quinn…. she has stockhome syndrome and battered wife syndrome (BWS, and yeah i dont like how it sounds either) but idiotic people will be like “OMG were just like Harley and the Joker!”…

yeah, suuuuuper cute….. /s.

#37

Smoking.

Stinky, dirty, plus a wide assortment of health impacts.

#38

Daddy issues.

#39

S*x on the beach, s*x in a hot tub, s*x in a pool, s*x in a bathroom – well, you get the point.

Find a bed people.

#40

Any disability. I have seen people actively search for partners who are disabled because they like the idea of their partner being completely dependent on them.

#41

Neediness. People like to pretend that having a partner or friends or family who you do everything with is the best thing in the world but honestly everyone needs to learn to do things alone.

If you don’t learn to do things alone you will end up in codependent relationships with everyone and then get miserable when those people have their own lives.

#42

Chronic illnesses. It isn’t fun to pass out and feel like s**t daily. I cannot stand seeing videos online “watch my bf hold me while I pass out” and someone gracefully passes out while their bf holds them and they wake up all wide eyed and bushy tailed smiling. Last time I went out I just drop and wake up shaking and confused. It isn’t fun.

#43

Cuddling while sleeping.

#44

Tiny homes.

#45

Stalkers.

ZafrinaKuu:

I was stalked by an ex for almost 5 years. It was one of the worst times of my life. I lived in constant fear. I’m 10 years out from him finally stopping (yes the cops were involved) and I’ve moved to a different state and I’m still scared that he will show up….yeah stalkers are horrible….

#46

Very specific, but those tumblr posts that romanticize living in an apartment with a lot of cats while it’s raining? Having a bunch of cats? No, they’re not low maintenance and cheap. No, there’s zero guarantee they’re going to like you or the other cats. If your six cats all got sick with URIs, your bank account is f****d. Living in an apartment with a lot of cats? You clean their litter boxes daily unless they live outside. They leave SO. MUCH. FUR. They will scratch up and knock down anything nice you have. I love my guys, but I wish I had thought a little more before adopting more than two because I didn’t realize how costly they’d be. They’re a commitment, people!

#47

Cheating for their “soulmate”. In movies, and often in real life, people will be in a relationships when they find “the one who gets them”. Doesn’t matter how s****y the current partner is that’s literally cheating either way.

#48

When women are kids they are told boys have a crush on them if they’re mean to them.
This leads to women being in awful relationships.

#49

Only Fans girls.

#50

Having someone jelous of you. Maybe it can look like they simply care for you, but the line is very thin to becoming possessive.

#51

Consumerism, most people are buying tons of s**t they don’t need or really even want just because ‘everyone’ else has it.

Don’t get me started about Christmas. We quit exchanging gifts forever ago. So much less stressful.

#52

Divorcing your stuffy spouse to “find yourself” or something.

#53

Large age gap relationships to freshly turned 18 year olds or younger (lana del rey ‘aesthetic’/mentality).

#54

Old cars.

Don’t get me wrong, I love classic cars. There’s something about how they look, the simplicity in some of their design, the weird quirks, even just how it feels to slot a shifter into gear where you can feel you’re moving a solid piece of metal.

That said, modern cars are better in about every quantifiable way. Overall they’re more powerful, more reliable, take surprisingly little maintenance, more efficient, and safer.

Old cars are amazing… as a second car.

#55

Being much smarter than your academic level. It’s hell when you know everything being said but you have to sit through it because you can’t attend the exam otherwise.

#56

The whole, “I can fix them”, idea. Stop it, unless they want help, because there is nothing you can do, and most likely make things worse. Not only for them, but also for you. In some cases the best thing you can do is walk away.

#57

Genuinely, being in love with a narcissist. i’ve literally seen it. mostly from girls my age (14-16). 

as someone medically diagnosed with npd i have enough awareness of myself and other narcissists to say it’s never ever going to be what you daydream. not to demonize us, but we suck. a lot of the time .

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