You never really know what you’ll be greeted with when you visit other people’s homes. Will it be sparkling clean, not one ordinary thing out of place? Or will the house be cluttered with the strangest things imaginable, like shrines for the US presidents and collections of creepy Santas?

These workers, whose job requires them to go into strangers’ homes, have been sharing their experiences with the latter, and boy oh boy, does it get bizarre. To find out just how odd these people’s experiences were, all you have to do is scroll down!

#1

I used to be a cable guy. I saw some weird stuff. There is one house that I’ll never forget though. The house had an unfinished basement with just a cement floor. I walk down the stairs and there is a Pit Bull that is chained up to a steel support pole in the middle of the basement. It was deathly skinny. There were so many piles of dog s**t lying on the cement floor I could hardly make a step without stepping in it. It obviously reeked of dog s**t and urine. I walked back upstairs, told the customer that I refuse to work in that environment and went back to my truck and left.

Edit: Yes. I called the local police department to report animal abuse. I have 3 dogs myself. It made me sick.

Image credits: etulfnicks

#2

As a Domino’s delivery guy, you’re not supposed to go inside people’s houses, but often times feel pressured to by people, especially elderly or handicapped people who have difficulty going to the door. This one man was in a house the size of my bedroom, and unable to get out of his chair. So I helped myself in when I saw this man with one leg struggling to even leave his chair. After setting his pizza down, he reached for his wallet and I noticed how severe his hands were trembling. He asked me to pull out enough money for the food. I’ll never forget the shame on his face, he was not old but clearly struggling, and very uncomfortable with his disability. I tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal, and he mentioned that he’d had an accident on the job that cost him his leg and some motor functions. My heart was on the floor when I left. I usually spent all my tips on beer back then, but I put half of what I had made that day in his mailbox. I doubt it was that much of a blessing, but he blessed mine by leaving an impression on me. Whenever I feel sorry for myself I think of that lonely man, and how good I really have it.

Image credits: Mansyn

#3

I had a very brief stint as a salesperson with a company that sells & installs solar panels. House calls were a fairly common part of it. Usually they were as dull as dishwater, but this one time…

So I’m sent on a call to this old guy’s home. I get there and it’s fine (other than him greeting me with “isn’t this more of a man’s job?”). We go in to discuss plans etc. His house is freezing. He goes and hops into his bed. Which is in the living room. In fact other than a radio (which doesn’t look like it works) it’s the only furniture in the room. He invites me to sit down (literally pats the bed next to him), but I elect to stay standing. So I’m doing my spiel standing up, he asks me if I’d get him a glass of water. I go to the kitchen, and find out why it’s so cold – neither his fridge, nor this massive freezer, have doors. Also they’re filled with chickens, and little else. The bin is filled – filled – with chicken bones. Plus when he said “glass of water” he actually meant “old empty milk bottle of water”, as there were no glasses, or cups.

I take him his water, and feeling uncomfortable awkwardly joke about him really liking chicken. He starts telling me the best way to boil them. Best I can gather his diet consists exclusively of breakfast cereal and boiled chicken.

Anyway, he buys solar panels. I’ve decided to sign him up for a special plan I could offer to seniors who were struggling financially. Before I go though he insists on checking my bag as I leave, to make sure I haven’t stolen anything (?!).

Few weeks later I’m chatting with a friend who works in a bank in the area, and I mention my interesting customer. They reveal he’s actually rich as sin, a fortune amassed over a life time of living a profoundly miserly existence, and being a thoroughly brutal businessman.

tl;dr I sold solar panels to a guy who Ebenezer Scrooge would tell to tone it down.

Image credits: Dancing_Cthulhu

#4

Walked into the customers living room, no furniture what so ever, just a coffin. A. Full. Sized. Coffin.

Image credits: thatonecableguy

#5

About 70% of my customers are elderly retired. Went into one 96yo’s house and found a shrine — a for-real shrine — to Ronald Regan. Not as an actor, but as a politician. I mean, she digs the dude.

Image credits: dramboxf

#6

I’m a pool guy, I go into people’s backyards to clean their pools.

One week, it was a 4 day week due to a holiday, so I’m not going on the scheduled days, I’m cramming 5 days of work into a 4 day week.

It’s a hot summer day, and I walk into the backyard of this house, get through both gates, and I’m met with an odd sight. These 2 kids, maybe 14 or 15, are absolutely butt a*s naked, cuddled on a poolside recliner. I look at them, they look at me. I immediately turn around and they run inside.

I see the owners all the time, but I’ve never seen these kids before. Next week I go, the wife was outside, and we started chit chatting. I ask her if she’s had any visitors recently, she says no. I let her know that I saw some kids in her backyard, and she cut me off. She says, “Yeah, suprised you haven’t met them, lemme introduce you.”

They were brother and sister.

Image credits: Deodorized

#7

I installed central vacuuming for a while, boss told me some stories:

– He found over $10,000 cash in some old lady’s wall. Now he is an honest guy so of course he wanted to return it, but he didn’t want to give her a heart attack, so he breaks the news gently, turns out she knew because her late husband used to leave s**t like that around the house, but she didn’t remember where it was.

– It is always christmas at some person’s house. ALWAYS. They have a 24/7/365 christmas room.

– Bunkers and stockpiles of food. So many of those. They always pay cash.

Image credits: RussoOnAPoleMatch

#8

I deliver pizza and one time I was delivering to this house, and out of the corner of my eye, I see a ring tailed lemur. Just sitting on the floor. And it really caught me off guard and I stopped what I was saying and said “is that a lemur?” And the guy was super casual about it and let me pet it, snap some pictures, and gave me an extra tip because I knew it was a lemur. I got back to the store and told everyone and they were like “Oh that guy? He has a kangaroo too.”
Pics of lemur:
https://ift.tt/ePrnI4X
https://ift.tt/8cpxdkA.

Image credits: tylerlame

#9

Working voluntarily as a paramedic, you see a lot of strange stuff.
But the things that stick with me the most are those little details: photographs, memorabilia and all that. It’s not so much crazy but more kind of making you think about your own life, especially when you come to a house/appartment and know that the person inside might leave it with you for the last time. You just hope that you can live such a fulfilled live as they have and that you have equally beautiful memories that last for another lifetime – just telling from some photos on their nightstand.

Image credits: simzary

#10

Cockroaches crawling all over an obese lady’s diabeetus foot; don’t think she could tell they were there.

Image credits: CatDad69

#11

I was a teenager and worked for a rent to own place. I wish I could say the number of times I did tech support on electronics that couldn’t work because too many roaches were living in them, but the best was walking in to a trailer and finding a redneck spooning a large pig on a couch. We’re talking like 200+ pound pig.

Image credits: anon

#12

Visted a very odd man a few weeks ago to discuss his rent arrears. His wife has passed away a few weeks earlier. He proudly pointed out the large photo of her on the wall in his hallway.

The photo was of her, dead, in her hospital bed. It was taken from a really creepy angle too. Like he’d taken it the picture whilst resting the camera on her chest. Didn’t hang around for very long after I’d seen that to be honest.

Image credits: InfiniteTypewriters

#13

If you hire a mover to pack and move your house, we will find,have to pick up, and potentially chase each other with your dirty pictures and s*x toys, if you’re dumb enough to leave them loose in your closet and drawers.

Image credits: NearlyNakedNick

#14

As a carpenter I went to install a cabinet at a woman’s house. She had a glass jar of blackheads.

Image credits: Boldspear2

#15

Not in but outside a customer’s home was a very large trash bin with the words “no raccoons” spray painted on it.

Image credits: sram46290

#16

A water pump handle mounted over the headboard in the master bedroom.

Image credits: anon

#17

The worst I’ve come across so far is jars of urine on the guy’s desk.

I’ve been in a few hoarder homes as well.

Image credits: AimlessPeacock

#18

As a medic, I responded to a call for a fall at the home a of a 70 something year old female. I opened the door to find the living room full of hooks, suspended from the ceiling, and on said hooks were hanging all of her possessions. Meanwhile, she’s been laying on the floor for 3 days, in her own urine. Poor thing.

Literally…all of her clothes and jewelry hanging from hooks on the cieling. It was super bizarre.

Image credits: Bostonhook

#19

My moms a real estate agent and she told me the craziest thing shes ever seen is a toilet in the middle of a living room, connected. No sink, no shower. Just a toilet.

Image credits: Theundercave

#20

Did floor work for a while, putting down carpets or tearing everything up for tile work, new hard wood floor, etc. Usually the houses we worked in were emptied for us the previous day by some movers, but not this time.

We walked in and instantly smelled something horrible. All the furniture was still there, pizza and spaghetti were spoiling in the fridge, and in one of the bedrooms there was a hospital bed-ish set up that was entirely stained orange and brown. And not only was furniture still everywhere, but everything was everywhere. I could list the possessions, but most of it was broken kids toys and just random s**t. The basement had a broken PS3 (or at least outwardly damaged), an Xbox 360, and a few Nintendo DS’s, plus a few shelves of, what I assume were (never played), D&D books of some kind. We were, admittedly, nosey. Most of this stuff was buried under wet piles of clothes and seriously just bunches of kids toys, plastic guitars and action figures and dolls. There were still pictures of the family on the fridge, plus generic kids drawings from school or whatever.

In the creepy room with the hospital bed, one of us got a little extra nosy and started looking through drawers. What looked like a normal dresser, like for clothes and s**t, had 3 pistols in the top drawer (off the top of my head, I only remember one of them being a Beretta of some kind) and the rest of the drawers were filled with boxes of ammunition.

We called our boss and told him the house had not been cleaned at all, and we weren’t sure what to do, and also we had found some guns and were wondering if the guy had been a police officer, since there were badges with the guns in the top drawer (we weren’t really sure what the badges were for, but we knew our boss had known this guy and his family personally). He told us he was not a police officer, and the story of the place was that the whole family, minus the father, had left with the mom to live with the grandparents because the father had met a girl online and planned to leave them, which ended up happening.

It’s not really super crazy, the guy probably just owned guns and a bunch of ammunition, used it recreationally and all. It was just so weird to us that he had left it behind, and, honestly, I could have described this house for paragraphs. It was something straight out of one of those hoarders shows, and it was just super creepy because it was a very rainy, cloudy morning. The kid’s bikes were still there, four lawn mowers were in the garage, spray painted police baton hung on one of the walls. Just a very odd place at the time.

We ended up cleaning the house and ripping out the carpets, boss came by and took the guns and ammo.

Image credits: WheresGeno

#21

Actually today I saw something that made me laugh. Im a postman so didnt go inside, but as I was walking up to the house, I could see through the window.

There was a guy riding a mobility scooter in the living room on his own, he was riding it in a circle waving his arm above his head as if he was waving a lasso about, it was quite awkward when he saw me and looked pretty embarrassed.

Image credits: Jonnyk97

#22

EMT here. We get to go into people’s homes on a daily basis. I’m relatively new and haven’t seen anything to crazy. Although before I started doing this I didn’t realize the amount of squalor and filth some people live in also people who have just totally given up on life.

I’ll tell you a story that happened to a pair of medics about a year ago. It’s
famous at my agency.

Anways they get called to a residence, neighbors complaining of loud noises. Medics get called to stage while police enter and see what’s going on. A women of about 40 is completely naked, bloody and holding a severely premature baby who was apperently hanging onto to life. The first on scene medics take the baby to the hospital and another unit is called to transport the “mother”. They get taken to same hospital. The baby dies during transport unfortunately. As the medics are writing up the their reports and decompressing the ER doc comes out and asks where the mother is. The medics who transported the “mother” stated that it was the lady who arrived shortly after the baby. ER doc explains that upon examination of the “mothers” v****a that it was the not the v****a of a woman who had just given birth.

Upon investigation of the house by police, the “mother” wasn’t in fact the mother and had cut the baby out of her pregnant neighbors stomach and hid the body in a locked cellar in the basement. One of the responding medics still works for the company and is a completely normal guy. Apparently the other guy found a new line of work.

Edit: for all the people wondering this happened in Oregon, won’t get any more specific than that for privacy reasons. This particular incident didn’t really hit local media at all that’s probably best for all parties involved but if you really wanted to learn more google could tell you.

#23

Not really crazy, just kind of amusing. My dad’s a carpenter, and I used to come with him and help with installations in his customers’ houses. We were putting in a cabinet for this nice Jewish couple, inside their study. As I was passing by the computer on the desk, I noticed that there was a webpage open, and I couldn’t help but laugh a bit at its name: OyWhataDeal.com.

Image credits: CrimsonPig

#24

My dad is a firefighter, and the call was for someone who couldn’t get up out of his chair. It was a 400 pound guy with a huge ketchup stain on his chest with crumbs in it. Low and behold, there’s a empty bucket of KFC chicken next to the chair. The dude was so lazy he squirted ketchup on his chest and dipped the chicken in it.

Image credits: madman2179

#25

Am a student warden. Had to go into someone’s flat the other day because of a fire alarm. I was greeted by a very drunk girl making pancakes except they were all burnt. There was just a stack of black pancakes, top to bottom each one blacker than the other. No, thanks. I don’t want your burnt pancakes.

Image credits: tewtee

#26

Done a lot of canvassing for political campaigns– never seen anything too crazy but there are an alarming number of people out there who think nothing of answering the door in their underwear.

A lot of it is just sad. I worked in a poor rural district one season and you learn pretty quickly not to turn back just because the house looks abandoned– there’s probably an old lady in there who doesn’t have the mobility to keep the house in good shape, and she’ll want to talk your ear off. If you’re out during the day you can see the scale of unemployment– lots of people at home. You can see their age on the voter roll which drives home just how rough people are living. Lots of hoarders, lots of abused-looking dogs tied up in the yard. I once canvassed a house where I had to step around a dead house cat to get up to the porch. It looked like it had been there a while.

It’s not like every single person in that area was living in a pit of despair; I talked to plenty of regular middle-class people too. But it’s hard to appreciate the desperation that exists in some parts of the US until you get on the back roads and start walking around. It’s also shows what an uphill battle it is to win political change– I was only talking to people who are registered to vote, but even among those many don’t actually go to the polls, or even know who’s running.

#27

I used to work as an EMT, there’s a lot of people out there living in pretty putrid conditions. You can’t necessarily tell which house is going to be bad just based on the outside. One of the craziest (for health reasons) ones that I ever saw was a normal enough looking house that had the grandfather essentially living in the garage. He was confined to a wheelchair and needed an O2 tank, we were there were a call for difficulty breathing. The entire place was COVERED in ashtrays, ashes, and cigarette butts. It reeked of urine too, I remember taking the man’s blood pressure on the scene and trying not to gag. Very sad.

Image credits: enfermedad

#28

Well I don’t know if this counts; but when I was younger I used to go over to a neighbors house to feed their cats and clean the house a little bit. Well one day I go through the front door business as usual, turn right into the kitchen and I see their son completely naked and standing with his head tucked between his legs and he was spreading his a*s open alone in the house. He noticed i was there and opted to run down to the basement. I fed the cats and told my mom I didn’t want to go over anymore and I never saw the kid again.

#29

I worked for a fairly famous guy. His wife, though, was much more than fairly famous. She was one of the most famous women in the world.

The guy mostly worked from a home office, so that’s where I’d see him. His wife worked outside their apartment. When she was home, we had elaborate protocols for protecting her privacy. The apartment was one of the few places in the world where she didn’t have to be in the public glare. She wanted a refuge where the only person she would see was her husband. Before I went over, I would always call to make sure she wasn’t there. If I was there and we got a call from her assistant that she was headed home, I would simply leave.

None of this seemed abnormal. She wasn’t being diva-like. The few times I met her she was lovely and gracious. Everyone who worked for them followed the same rules. Cleaning people, dog walkers, personal assistants, and kitchen staff would schedule all of their work for times when she wasn’t there.

Once on a weekend he calls and asks if he can see me right away. This was in New York City. I was just a few blocks away so I say sure and run on over. I assumed she wasn’t there because why else would he want me to come over?

Their apartment is huge–it’s the entire floor of a building. I was with him in one side of the apartment in his office. We needed something he had left in their bedroom and he asks me to get it. To this day I wonder what he was thinking.

I walked into their bedroom and she was sitting on their bed with her legs crossed, wearing completely sheer panties and a thin teddy, cutting her toe nails.

Three images burned into my mind forever: 1. her v****a, 2. the pile of toenail clippings on the bed, and 3. when our eyes locked, her second emotion, after panic, was amusement. As violations of her privacy went, this one went to eleven so she might as well laugh about it.

Those are my only memories of the moment. I backed out of that room in less than a second. Nothing about it was ever said.

#30

I was looking inside exterior storage closets at a condominium to see if there was a repetitive issue. One of them was full, from floor to ceiling with flattened boxes of red wine. About 8 feet high and 3 feet by 4 feet… roughly 100 cubic feet of flattened cardboard and plastic wine sacks.

I did a rough calc in my head at the time that that must have been a lot of wine. In doing it again right now I’d estimate that’s at least 30,000 liters of wine being represented in that closet, maybe as much as twice that.

I also questioned why anyone would keep such a thing.

Image credits: pw_15

#31

I’m a family therapist who goes to people’s homes. I once had a family’s large dog shart in the middle of the floor three times during session.

Absolutely disgusting.

Image credits: Buttchezfluffmontser

#32

Okay. Long story, but worth the wait.

I work in the construction business, remodeling in particular. We were installing some new gutters on a clients house, who had met us at the site and then quickly drove away after we discussed the particulars.
It wasn’t until a few hours into the job that I noticed all the windows covered up with cardboard from the inside. Not too weird, maybe they’re growing weed, I thought. But why would every single window and door in the house be covered then?
I continued working, but then came to a point where I needed access to an electrical outlet, which couldn’t be found anywhere on the outside of the house. I knew the homeowner wasn’t around anymore, which left me at a bit of a standstill. Circling the house, I found that one of the sliding doors was unlocked, but it was blocked by mountains of old newspapers and magazines. I thought to myself, I’ll just be in and out and no one will be the wiser. I slid a stack of newspaper and stepped around it, looked up, and saw snakes.

Hundreds of them.

I’m talking every single wall and open space of this house was covered in terrariums. Now, I’m not afraid of snakes in the slightest, and I actually know a fair amount of species from college, but this guy had an aquarium with at least 20 coral snakes, several gaboon vipers, pythons measuring well over 15 ft., copperheads, and a HUGE tank with about 10 rattlesnakes, probably Western Diamondbacks. This is barely a taste of what this dude had. Like, more venomous snakes than any zoo I’ve ever seen. In what used to be the kitchen (by now I gathered that this house hadn’t been lived in for well over a decade) there were two bathtubs. What could be in these you might ask? Guinea pigs. Maybe a hundred of them. You can guess what those were for. I found an outlet and got out of that den of death faster than s**t. Never told anyone until now.

Image credits: SharkRancher

#33

I went to a customers home for a countertop installation and saw over $100k is art hanging on the wall plus 6 cats.

Image credits: cdope

#34

Window salesman here.. I met some people who decided to burn hundreds of candles, one at a time in the middle of their floor. When one candle would burn out they would place another directly on top. Basically it was a giant wax mound that looked like a termite colony inside their home. The home owners obviously brought it up and explained how it took thousands of candles to create. Before I left they took a picture of me standing by it. I didn’t smile.

Image credits: UncleDmerr

#35

When I was delivering Pizzas in High School I delivered to a house and knocked on the door. When the door opened I was staring at my estranged father whom I haven’t seen in like 10 years. He was drunk, didn’t recognize me, shortchanged me, and didn’t tip.

#36

When I was delivering pizza, I went to a house and there were delivery instructions to go downstairs because the guy was in a wheelchair and didn’t want to go through the effort of making his way upstairs to pay for the pizza.

So when I get to this guys house the front door is wide open, the TV is on with very loud volume. I’m saying “Hello, I’m here” and not getting an answer. I go inside and look for the stairs. I was so confused because as I was walking through the house, it looked like someone was just upstairs.

I’m still saying “Hello, Pizza’s here” as I’m walking down stairs, still no answer. Finally, I walk into a room and sure enough there is a guy in a wheelchair, from what I could see pretending to be sleeping with really fake snoring sounds. So I go over, and “wake him up,” and he acts all startled. I’m like “Hey, sorry for waking you, but is it cash or credit?” This guy in the wheelchair tells me “I forgot to grab it but my cash is upstairs. Can you grab it for me?” I go up and grab the cash, which was conveniently the perfect amount for the pizza. Bring it back down stairs and this guy is sitting in his wheelchair, I ask if this is the right money and he says yeah. Then he says, “Oh I forgot the tip,” and stands up out of the wheelchair hands me $10 from his back pocket. Like what the f**k?!

After I got back to the store, everyone was asking me how it went, wanting to listen to my story as if they were expecting something crazy. Turns out this guy was a regular and just f***s with the delivery drivers every time they go there. It was an inside joke that you can’t be apart of until you experience it and no one tells the drivers that haven’t gone there yet.

As weird as this story was, the worst time this guy f****d with me was when he payed my $30 in dimes, nickels and quarters. There were even some nuts and bolts in the mixture.

TL;DR – Pizza delivering to a guy in a wheelchair, and he f***s with me to continue a tradition at my pizzeria.

Edit: Some people are asking for some of the other funny pranks he has done.
For a very quick back story. This guy in his late 50’s and owns a small orchard. For the stories sake, lets call him Dave cause I can’t remember his name. It has been a while.

Story 1 is my favourite for someone’s first time delivering to Dave. Story 2 is just a classic that you got when you delivered to Dave after you suffered through the first one.

Story 1: When I first went to Dave, I had already been delivering for a few months. This driver, Mark, had only a couple shifts under his belt, so he didn’t really know what to do with “stranger” people. Well, when Mark got there he was having small talk with Dave and made the horrible mistake to say that he just started being a delivery driver. Once Dave heard this, he put down the machine and as he bent over started taking off his socks. Right when the second sock slipped off, Dave stood up took off his shirt, and started taking off his belt. After putting his belt on the ground, he just picked up the machine and finished the transaction. Apparently Dave didn’t say anything and just grabbed his pizza and went inside.

Story 2: As the delivery driver, Riley, pulled up to the front door, Dave holding a beer in one hand and wearing a tight beater, came flying in on his golf cart that he used to get around his property. Slamming on his breaks right beside Riley, lowering his glasses to the edge of his nose, just enough to see his eyes and stares Riley directly in the eyes. Dave puts down his beer and whispers “I think that pies for me.” Hands Riley the money and drives off to his garage.

#37

When I was delivering pizza for Pizza Hut I delivered to a very shady part of town. It’s funny because most of the people who answered calls would tell them we didn’t deliver to that area, but I always would tell them we did and I’d offer to take the delivery. I grew up in a rough area and I think it’s s****y to deny people their pizza.

So I normally never went into a person’s house, as that was forbidden, but again, I’m not someone who really scares easily, so if someone asked me to come in, I would. It wasn’t really uncommon. On this particular night I went into this VERY rundown house. There was a guy behind a screen door who was like “Come on in,” so I did.

I walked in to see about 7-8 people sprawled out in the floor and on bean bags, nodding in and out of consciousness. It was becoming very apparent to me that all these people were on herion. The guy who paid for the pizza seemed really normal and perfectly aware of his surroundings, but just happened to be staying in a house full of h****n addicts. And here’s the interesting thing, I think the pizza was $13 something and he gave me a $20 and told me to keep the change. Good times.

EDIT: Thank you for all the responses, and yes, I’m aware it was a trap house and that he was likely the supplier.

#38

I was an aide for a state politician. She was doing a constituent visit pertaining to an upcoming bill, and liked to have someone with her just in case. The guy ran a reptile rescue operation (mostly concerned with exotic pets that escaped/were abandoned), and his entire basement was outfitted with small reptile habitats for temporary storage. He had pools with small crocodiles, a few of those massive pythons that are so often used in conservation public outreach stuff, and even a little workbench where he repaired the shells of turtles that had been hit by cars.

#39

– full on hoarding situation
– p**n room (pre Internet) boxes of tapes and some toys (owners were lesbians) strewn all over a separate bedroom
– walking through house with owner, opens bathroom door to show me the room while teenage daughter was showering

Will edit it I remember anymore.

Edit: not as juicy as you guys felt shower girl was, but.. I was measuring out an entire house for flooring. Once I measured the entire house and drew it out, there was an empty space. About 8×8 feet. When I figured I was missing an area I searched for it. My search lead me to the office of the house. My missing space was behind the bookcase. Upon inspection I discovered a hinge in an elaborate wooden bookcase. Thats where I stopped. Figured they wanted hidden for a reason.

#40

I work at a psychiatric hospital, and am sometimes required to join my patients to visit their home for many purposes, like retrieving documents.

This one time I joined a patient of mine and went to visit his old house with him. This guy was a professor in geography and was incredibly intelligent, but was, unfortunately for him, also prone to schizofrenia.

Severely so.

Once we arrived, he unlocked the door and we stepped in, only for me to lay my eyes on the most amazing house I have ever seen in my entire life. This man, in his psychosis, wheeled in hundreds and hundreds of wheelbarrows full of sand, thus transforming his house, living room, bedroom, bathroom and everything, into a dune landscape. For the trees he used old christmas trees (you know, the plastic fake ones), and scattered here and there between the trees stood a toaster, oven, a table and some chairs.

I looked through this house in amazement, and finally this man walks up to me and says: “You like it, don’t you? I can tell.”

PS: English is not my native language, apologies for any flaws in my use of it.

#41

I worked as a software technician for a very expensive piece of s**t software for tracking stocks on the stock market. This c**p cost a lot (about $1000 5 years ago).

I went to the client’s house to install it, but it was man and wife(mid 30’s) with two kids (toddler and baby) living in a single room in their parents house(late 60’s).

I sat with him and his wife on the edge of the bed as there was no place to put a chair for the PC, while explaining this god awful software that i KNOW they cant afford and wont use.

Was pretty f****d up.

#42

I remember another call that was VERY odd.

It just came in as an unconscious male at “X” address. When we get there, there’s no answer at the door, and it’s locked. So we call law enforcement and they force the door. We found the patient, passed out on the bed in the master bedroom.

ON THE WAY to the bedroom, we saw a display of dildos on the dining room table, like a centerpiece. VERY nicely arranged, but still — a bouquet of dildos. What was VERY creepy was the guest bedroom had a surgical operating table (a full-size, for real one) some lights used for videotaping, a high-end video camera on a tripod with its cables leading to a closet. My partner and I didn’t get to check out what might be in the closet, but law enforcement did, made us package and get the patient out of there ASAP, and then stood guarding the house while one of them was on the radio talking about detectives and warrants and such. Never found out what was in that closet, but it sure seemed to interest the cops.

Edit: So apparently (spoke with my old partner in the interim) he did find out and never told me. It was lots and lots and lots of videotapes. Most of them, according to the cops, were of what appeared to be young runaways girls (about 14-17ish years old) peeing into a bucket as this guy videos them. That’s it. Just epic s**t-tons, hour after hour of runaway girls peeing into the buckets.

#43

In my final year of University I worked for a letting agent that focused entirely on students. My job was ‘Viewer’ – I basically piled a bunch of students into a car, took them to three or four of our houses and then back to the office where my boss did the sales chat and fielded questions.

So naturally, I saw quite a lot of odd things. Several times people were using d***s (and given my appearance, they usually offered me some) when I came round, and there were a fair few vibrators noticed.

But there were two standout oddities. The first was on my second or third day, I had to show some kids round a 5 bedroomed place that 4 very rich rugby players lived in. They were a little surprised to see me, as it hadn’t quite dawned on them that halfway through the tenancy people should be brought round to view for the next academic year. And there was a problem, it seemed. They told me I probably shouldn’t go in one room, which they had named ‘the Danger Zone’. So of course I went in. And the smell hit me. Stale vomit with a strange earthy smell. And the mess, s**t, blood and vomit stains all up the walls, loads of mud on the floor. I left *very* quickly and told the prospective tenants I didn’t have a key.

After speaking to the guys it turns out they were only 4 as they had actually paid the fifth share upfront for a year to clean their rugby boots in and use as an emergency/humiliation room for any of them or their buddies who got so wasted they were ill, with the plan to have it professionally cleaned at years end. I told them I’d look the other way but my boss wouldn’t if he came round, I didn’t have to go back – the house let the next day to a group of their mates from the year below!

The other incident was when showing a group of rather shy swottish girls around another 4/5 bedroom house of ‘Uni lads’. Everything was normal downstairs, headed upstairs an knocked on the first bedroom door. Lad lets us in, girls look around while the lad says to me “a heads up- my housemate has a girl round, in the next room”. So when we knock on the second door I am cautious to wait for an answer before barging in. Sure enough, a “just give us a minute” comes from the room. So I show the girls round the other bedrooms without incident, and go back to door number 2. “Are you decent?” I say. A voice comes back “Sure, you can come in now”, so I open the door. And the four girls and myself are treated to the couple, fully naked, with him still hanging out of the back of her in the doggy style position and both of them with big grins on their faces.

#44

My boss owns an apartment building and our maintenance guy was gone on vacation for a month – I’m the maintenance guy now.

Had to go install new blinds. Knocked on door, no answer, slipped paper under the door saying basically that I’d be back in 7 days at 2PM.

Appointment comes around, go to install door, nobody home but note on door says “Please install blinds, thanks for the note!”

Big, purple, double-ended d***o lying in the middle of the living room floor. She *must* have known. The rest of the month went by as normal. Did find out from the other guy that she’s a lesbian and will ramble away about herbs and crystals and new age stuff, so a big, purple, double-ended d***o lying in the middle of the living room floor might not mean much to her.

#45

About 10 years ago, after my first year at University, I worked for a summer at a mill shop that made custom cabinetry. I was an assistant to the lead installer, so I would often spend a couple days at a time in someone’s house while their new kitchen or bathroom was being done. This one house had a pair of large birds – A Cockatoo and an African Grey Parrot, if I remember correctly – that would walk around the house and chatter all day. At lunch time (or pretty much any time of the day), the cockatoo would loiter around and ask “What’s for lunch?” in its creepy robot voice. The African Grey, on the other hand, would yell “F**K!” every time there was any sort of loud noise. While hilarious, the novelty wore off after about a day of hammering.

Another notable house was the one owned by an old, very large, very irate man with his mail-order 19-year-old Thai (??) bride. He had beautiful cabinetry being installed all over his house, which was completely offset by the HORRIBLE new deep-pile hot pink carpet that was wall-to-wall, including the kitchen for some asinine reason. He also had no working toilet during the renovations and refused to supply an outhouse for all the contractors. This wouldn’t have been much of an issue had he not lived 40 minutes outside the city. When coupled with his horrible demeanor, I’m not surprised the contractors ended up pissing and s******g behind his furnace in the basement.

#46

Worked for a property management company. First call of the day was to fix/replace a sump pump. Walked in on a townhouse full of Asians singing karaoke at 8:05 am. Held it together while I walked past the living room and down into the basement with a little chuckle at the oddity of the situation. Lost it completely when I heard Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead or Alive…dude crushed it with the stereotypical asian Ls become Rs…”WAAAANTED DEAD OR ARRRIVE”.

#47

An oldish guy called 999 for abdominal pain. We arrived and he let us in the front door, then into his smallish living room. Inside were hundreds upon hundreds of clocks. Childrens clocks, handmade clocks, cuckoo clocks, small, large and everything in between. Every wall covered in them. All of them set to different times. A constant ticking, alarms going off every 20 minutes and cuckoos popping out every 40 minutes or so. It was like something out of a thriller where the main character enters the house of a serial killer before being attacked by a hammer wielding psycho.

Not relevant this part, but he eventually kicked us out after an hour since we discovered there was sod all wrong with him. He forced us to the door shouting and swearing at us. He then threw children’s toys and child furniture at us until we hid round the corner.

#48

Was instructed to go to a house to pick-up a used rental at a vacent house. We get there and go in the back door and was about to go down the stairs to the basement and I stop and look again into the basement. I could clearly see down there IE part of the furnace, a table with chairs around it. Then I realized I was looking through water. The basement was full to the top of crystal clear water. Ive seen lots of flooded basements and the water is always greyish brown or too dark down there to tell, this was like a aquarium. Not very crazy but creepy and kinda neat.

#49

Use to have a job like that. There was an apartment where the only contents were a bed and a vanity

This affluent guy rented it, he would come to it late at night, dress up as a woman and leave. Or he’d arrive early and a few hours later, another affluent man would enter, and leave a few hours later.

Another time, this tenant died, so we had to go in to his place. It was PILED with amazon boxes, like floor to ceiling. He also had piles of used dishes in and around his sink, stacks of pizza boxes. The amazon boxes had unopened high dollar cameras and equipment in them. There was enough room to walk around, and that was it.

#50

I used to visit farms to do taxes. I went to a farm right up against the edge of wilderness where a man lived alone in a shack. I worked under trouble lights plugged in by extension cords to the workshop outside. In the corner there was a tub with a garden hose running into it. I’m not even sure if the place had a toilet.

He was worth 3.5 million dollars.

#51

Today was actually one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen on a job. I’m a mover so I literally go to a different house every day. Most houses are pretty normal, a lot of clean places and a lot of really disgusting places.

We get to this house and the moment we step inside we all knew it was going to be a long day. Nothing was packed, garbage everywhere and the smell was disgusting. The move was estimated at around 16,000lbs and it wasn’t too far off, but it was just all piles of garbage.

We try to be nice and understanding at first because this old woman obviously lives alone and clearly can’t get around very well.

About midway through the day we clear enough space to get to the basement. This is an old victorian house so the basement is really more like a 5 ft tall cellar with tiny stairs. In the back of the basement is a f**k off huge pile of newspapers spread across 3 pallets.

Once we finally moved all of the boxes we noticed she had a board across them so the boxes didnt tip into the spaces in the pallets, pretty standard. None of us were ready for what was on the other side.

It was a very intricate picture of these men and women just blowing donkeys. Like super detailed and drawn with a white permanent market or something like that. Just three people around a camp fire sucking off donkeys. There were trees on either side and a tent in the background, and they were all wearing robes with very finely detailed floral patterns.

We asked the woman what the hell it was and who drew it but she just shrugged and never said a word about it. It was a super s****y move which could probably have been done with a shovel, but that f*****g drawing made it all worth it. My friend has a picture, my phone was dead at the time. I’ll get him to send it to me.

Edit: words

EDIT 2: It was a snapchat so the picutre is lost in the ether. I don’t know much about snapchat, but can he still get the picutre if he’s the one who sent it?

#52

Deliveries years ago. I woke up the family. They didn’t speak English and dad answered the door in Speedos. Daughter emerged from her bedroom with no clothes or body issues. I realized there is one thing our society forbids an adult male from ever seeing and I was terrified. She just stood at the landing for what seemed like an hour. I kept thinking this isn’t happening, yes it was. Early teen girl with no clothes on may as well have been a unicorn. Eventually I got a signature and left.

#53

Tax collector here.

Job requires me to (occasionally) go inside of the houses of citizens to “discuss” their tax obligations. Rarely anything positive. One taxpayer let me in and had a bunch of anti-government signs and literature all over the living room. There was a big ole “Do Not Tread On Me’ flag draped over the couch and there was a statue of a black guy eating a watermelon on the living room table (the rind was made of dollar bills). I had to discuss why the owner of this lovely house owed 5 years of back taxes…

He made some great tea though.

#54

Went into a hoarder’s house one time as a police officer. We went in because we smelled the familiar smell of decomposition. We cleared the house and didn’t find a victim, but did find a punch bowl full of used tampons. Strangely though, that’s not where the smell was coming from. We’re convinced that there was a dead animal in there we couldn’t find.

#55

Sold life insurance and one day went to a home of a husband/wife who were animal hoarders. They had 25 chihuahuas and all were rescue so they all had anxiety about me being there and wouldn’t stop barking for half an hour. I almost left as it was impossible to even talk. They also had about 10-12 birds, parakeets that would mimic the barking noise of the dogs so that barking was coming from every possible angle. The birds would also mimic the phone so if the phone rang all the birds would start ringing and wouldn’t stop for about 10 min. It was crazy. They also had cats, iguanas, and bats. Yes bats. It was literally a s******w.

#56

I saw a suite where, the creepy old guy who resided there, had a coffin in his bedroom.

Not only was there a coffin in his bedroom, but there were blankets and pillows in it. I thought that was the weirdest part….

Inscribed in gold letters on the foot of the coffin was the word NASFAERATU.

You can’t imagine the relief I felt when sitting in my work van later that day and seeing this guy taking his recycling out in broad daylight.

#57

I used to have a job that required me to go into peoples homes regularly. Nothing that crazy but once I went into the master bedroom of this smoking hot woman and she had naked pictures of her framed in her room. She was married and seemed pretty normal. I just wasn’t expecting it.

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