All of us, no matter how kind and open we are, keep secrets from even our nearest and dearest. These are things that we’d feel uncomfortable opening up about even to our closest family members and most trustworthy friends. However, anonymity can help. If you’re feeling guilty or ashamed of something you’ve done in your past, opening up to strangers can help free you of that burden. At least, in part.
That’s where the r/confession subreddit comes in. A massively popular online community with nearly 5.3 million members, it is a safe place for everyone to “admit your wrongdoings, acknowledge your guilt, and alleviate your conscience.” Here, everyone’s encouraged to be kind and courteous to one another. We’ve collected some of the darkest secrets from the sub and other similar communities around the net about the things that people deeply regret doing. You’ll find their stories as you scroll down.
We wanted to figure out why people feel better when they confess their secrets and wrongdoings, so we asked Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., to shed some light on this. Read on for Bored Panda’s interview with Dr. Bonior, the host of the mental health advice podcast ‘Baggage Check’ and the bestselling author of ‘Detox Your Thoughts.’
#1 I Have Been Sleeping With Both Partners Of A Married Couple. Neither Of Them Are Aware The Other Is Cheating. The Wife Doesn’t Know The Husband Likes Men
The wife came onto me first but I didn’t sleep with her out of respect for her husband, til he messaged me on grindr and I realized they’re as bad as each other and I may as well have some fun with it. I even popped the husband’s bootyhole cherry. I might tell them one day but ehhh the sex is fun.
Image credits: popcornandsoda2
Dr. Bonior explained to Bored Panda why confessions make people feel better, as well as what we can do to be more empathetic toward others even if our first instinct might be to judge them.
“The idea of confessing in order to absolve yourself of something has been around, likely, since the beginning of time, and has of course been incorporated into many religious traditions. By admitting to something we are doing, it can help us feel less alone with the secret—and more accepted, even among strangers, rather than imagining that we would be cast aside and rejected because of our secret,” the host of ‘Baggage Check’ told us.
“It helps validate that we are still acceptable as human beings, and haven’t driven everyone away. It also just typically helps to put words to our own experiences and feelings, and to have someone bear witness to something difficult—which is part of why therapy can be so helpful.”
#2 I Run A Fake Restaurant On A Delivery App
I registered a company, bought all the take-away boxes from Amazon, signed up for a few delivery apps, made a few social media acounts and printed leaflets that I drop in mailboxes. I re-sell microwave meals…On some meals I add something to make them look better, like cheese. So far it’s at around £200 a day in revenue.
Nobody suspects a thing, soon someone will come for higene inspection, but I’ll pass that check without any problems. It’s not illegal to operate out of your own kitchen.
Should I feel bad? I feel kind of proud to be fair and free as a bird from the 9-5 life.
Image credits: pisicka
#3 I’m Dying But Haven’t Told Anyone
I was diagnosed with cancer a little over two weeks ago, after a regular checkup. Turns out I have a tumour on my colon that has spread to other areas (liver and lungs so far) and will require extensive chemo and surgery for any chance to live longer than 8 months
I’m not having any treatment and I haven’t told my wife because she’ll only pressure me to get the treatment, which result in months of pain and suffering for a relatively small chance
Instead, I’m making sure our last few months together are filled with only happy memories. I’m starting work later and finishing earlier each day, to make her breakfast in bed and take her on dates in the evenings
My landlord I rent my workshop from has agreed to let me run my business rent free for the next 6 months, which means significantly less financial stress and I can save a lot more, so she has something to carry her over afterwards
I hope she’ll forgive me for taking this path
Image credits: Thrownaway54332
According to Dr. Bonior, immediate judgments about other people can be “very natural.” However, at the same time, we have to remember that they can be distorted and might not be valid.
“By recognizing that we only have one side of every story, and that we can’t automatically assume that we’d behave a certain way in a situation we’ve never been in, we help remember that although we might have a knee-jerk reaction, we shouldn’t necessarily let it inform our behavior,” she told Bored Panda that an example of such a reaction might be saying something that is unkind.
“It also might be helpful to think of times in our life when we had our perspective widened because we didn’t realize until we were in a situation just how we would behave. Finally, we can recognize that even when someone HAS made a choice we don’t agree with, our reactions are often most helpful if we can meet them where they are, and try to understand what led to their decision, and gain some insight from it, rather than automatically condemning them and pushing them away.”
#4 I Posted Fake Jobs On Internet So I Could Build My Own Resume
When i was 19-20 years old I was looking for jobs and could not find any and people would tell me to build a nice resume. The problem was, I did not know how to do it so I posted fake jobs on internet and would get resumes. I used those resumes to build my own using the skills that I liked on their resumes. I could also tell who was competing with me for those jobs that I posted. I feel bad for those people that thought it was genuine and applied.
I am 33 now and have a nice job. Those resumes truly did help me build my career.
Image credits: mapleleafsf4n
#5 I Lied To A Blind Neighbor And Told Him I Moved Away
Many years ago, I was standing on one of my balconies when a taxi driver was obnoxiously blowing his horn out front and yelling for a blind man to “walk toward my voice” from his own townhouse. That direction was toward traffic. My roommate and I went down and helped him to the taxi and scolded the driver for being so rude. I made the mistake of giving the blind neighbor my phone number so that I could give him a ride in the future.
Then the phone calls came… and never stopped. And when I gave him a ride, he would ask for various detours. I’m very calculated by nature, if he had told me beforehand where he wanted to go, it would be cool, but no… we’d be driving along and he’d throw in 2 – 3 extra places on each ride. And it came to be every day that he wanted rides… and he’d even call me to remind me to give him a ride, not that was ever late or backed out.
Finally I had enough, so I gauged how blind he was. His response was that he was “blind as a bat”. A week or two after he said that, I told him I had a job interview in the next city. A week after that, I told him I got the job and was moving away in a month. After I “moved away” It was strange as hell walking by him in silence as he stood on the sidewalk.
Image credits: [deleted]
#6
I tell everyone the reason I do beekeeping as a hobby is because I want the honey and to help prevent colony collapse. The real reason I started to is because my mother is extremely allergic to them and now she won’t come near my home anymore.
Image credits: throwaway4848834
The r/confession subreddit was founded all the way back in late 2008. Over the last decade and a half, it’s become one of the most popular communities on Reddit. Members of the sub are encouraged to admit to “illegal or immoral action” that they’ve committed very intentionally. Mistakes or accidents don’t count here. Moreover, you can only confess to things that you’ve personally done—you can’t talk about other people’s misdeeds.
What’s more, every poster has to express regret for what they’ve done and be as specific and concise about what happened as possible. The moderator team running the community notes that they don’t accept posts with limited context. The confessions have to be detailed and accurate.
“Confessing only the barest of snippets or most cryptic of details isn’t the purpose of this sub. Understanding what you’re confessing shouldn’t be like pulling teeth, context is important,” they write.
#7 I Made My Brother Think He Has Alopecia For The Last Fifteen Years
This is probably the pettiest thing I have ever done, and I regret it to this day. When I was fifteen years old, I got my first job and started to have some money of my own. I used my money to spoil myself and purchased nicer thing like clothes, shoes, makeup and salon brand shampoo.
My brother used to sneak into my bathroom and constantly steal my nice shampoo. He would use them and most of the time he would leave them open in the bathtub. This would result in the rest of the shampoo going down the drain and leave me with empty containers.
This drove me completely insane and I hated him for taking my things. I tried to speak with my parents about this, but they told me that I should just learn to share.
One day I went out and purchased hair removal cream. I mixed this into my shampoo bottle and left it in my bathroom. I gave him a verbal warning not to use my newly purchased bottle, but he stole it again anyway. Over the next few days his hair slowly started to fall out and small bald patches started to appear.
Seeing what I had done I immediately emptied the remaining shampoo. I felt terrible and I truly didn’t think it would have as a dramatic effect as it did. My mother took him to the doctor to get check out and they diagnosed him with Alopecia. He than had to start using this special and terrible smelling shampoo to combat this.
His hair did grow back but I just recently found out that he is still using the shampoo in order to prevent another Alopecia flair up. It has been 15 years now and I have never told my brother that I caused him to lose his hair.
Image credits: Brightside256
#8 My Boss Pissed Me Off So I’m Catfishing His Wife
My boss is generally a d*ck.
I noticed his wife (who also works at the company) came up as a recommended friend on Snapchat, I copied the user name and added her on my burner Snapchat.
After a few messages and a few fake selfies she has told me she is single and sent some damn good reveling pictures.
I feel a bit guilty now but damn she is hot.
Image credits: yomumsahoe
#9 I Slapped A Child In The Face And Then Shoved Him Off His Scooter. I’m 25
So I have a beloved kitty named pixy. She was around 4 when I found her on the street. She had a rubber band tightened on half her tail. I spent 2 weeks feeding her until she was comfortable enough to let me near her, she didn’t trust anyone. I took her in, cleaned her up, and got the dead portion of her tail amputated.
After 5 years, she finally warmed up to people and she became so sweet and friendly. It took her years to be comfortable around strangers. Last month, she was out for her daily stroll around the neighborhood and immediately came back in through the kitty door 20 minutes later. Usually she is out and about for 2-3 hours. She had 2 small holes in her chest, and one near her butt. She was completely frightened and was crying/meowing, she wouldn’t even let me go near her for the first 5 minutes. I knew for certain that she was shot with metal bb’s.
I take her in my car and start driving to the vet, but took a quick detour around the neighborhood, I was going to take the long way to see if I could find the culprit. Sure enough I see a kid on a scooter standing on his driveway, with a Co2 powered bb gun, aiming in the drainage cavity by the sidewalk. I see cats in there all the time. It was then I knew who the culprit was.
I parked the car, got out, walked over to him and said “I’m telling your parents that you are shooting cats.” He replied “they are pests, they told me I could.” The smug little look on his face threw me over the edge, I slapped the f*ck outta this b**ch, and kick swept his legs out from under him and watched him fall flat on his a*s. I then picked up his gun and smashed it on the ground. A small part of me wanted to finish him off with a stomach kick for good measure, but I’m f**king 25 so I looked both ways before crossing the street, and f*cking bolted. As I hopped in my car and sped away, I heard him shrieking in the distance.
My kitty was treated, and is doing OK. She is a lot more skittish and spends less time outside.
Edit: in case your wondering, I’m pretty sure the cops were called. When I came back I saw a few strolling around, I was sure I was d.o.n.e. I’ve never been In trouble or done sh*t like this. Anyways, I drove by and literally nothing happened. It’s been a month I think I’m good.
Image credits: PostHistoryMan
Meanwhile, the members of r/confession are asked to avoid posting about politics and relationships. They’re also encouraged to be kind and civil to one another. “If you are unable to discuss without being disrespectful, walk away,” the mods stress.
Something else that all redditors should avoid doing is accusing others of making certain stories up. “Chances are you’re not in the best frame of mind to be fielding attacks on your credibility by the vast and uncaring anonymous internet. We instituted this rule to better protect our submitters and provide a more constructive rather than detractive environment,” the r/confession team explains.
“There is a large chance you think a real post is fake. No one will make real confessions if every post has some variation of ‘tHiS iS fAkE,’” they add. In short, the community is all about creating a space where everyone can reveal what they’ve done that’s been plaguing them with feelings of shame and guilt for a long time.
#10 I Sh*t On My Neighbors Door Step
So back when I was ten my dad asked me if I wanted to make 20$. I accepted. The catch I had to sh*t on our neighbors door step. It was clear my dad had beef with this woman. She woke in the morning and tried to blame our Chihuahua. My dad yelled at her saying that the sh*t was bigger then our dog. Impossible. The point is I don’t feel bad. Forever daddy’s girl.
Image credits: Sharleena88
#11
I fall asleep watching my boyfriend’s YouTube channel so he gets more views on his videos because it makes me happy how excited he gets about more views
Image credits: pateradactyl
#12 I Secretly Put Money In My Pants Pockets So My Husband Will Do The Laundry
I put $5 to $10 a week in my clothes. He thinks he is getting one over on me because we both have a weekly budget. He doesn’t know that he is part of my budget. If I even try to do the laundry he is like “No, I got it” Worth every red cent.
Image credits: Lasybossstager
However, it’s very natural and even human to judge others for their decisions, behavior, and looks. It’s something that people do automatically, as well as consciously. Being judgmental of others has its downsides, as well as some upsides.
On one side of the fence, people judge others to feel superior, find flaws in others, and feel better about their own decisions. Others might judge others and themselves to figure out where they fit in, what results they want, what they’d rather avoid in life. Putting someone’s flaws under the microscope can help people readjust the way they live their own lives. It also helps us become more self-aware of our own decisions and how they impact the world around us.
#13 I’ve Spent Close To $2000 Dollars Of My Parents Money On League
i hear stories like this a lot but i wasn’t even that young, 14-15 and over the course of 2 years i spent $2000 on riot points. f**king stupid of me. the card was linked to my acc and ten dollars there twenty here hundred there and boom $2000.
mom and dad i’m sorry
Image credits: u/wiskj
#14 I Pretended To Be A Homeless Teen To Make Money Panhandling
I was 18. I had a sign that said I got kicked out for being a lesbian. One time a gay person on broadway gave me 100 bucks. I just wanted to make enough to wander around Europe. The day I got my visa, I got robbed and took it as a sign to stop. I’m really sorry, gay community
Image credits: u/amandax144
#15 I Give My 3 Year Old Son Counterfeit Fast Food
I save my sons Mc Donald’s wrappers and happy meal boxes then reuse them by serving him microwave chicken nuggets and oven French fries in them. I even throw in ketchup packets and a little toy he’d forgotten he had to help sell the lie. He loves it. And I’m not sorry
Image credits: pru13
Though we all carry secrets with us, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re bad people. There’s a difference between secrecy and privacy after all. It’s fine to keep some things private. However, if a secret has a huge impact on others, it’s best to opt for transparency. When in doubt, put yourself in someone else’s shoes and consider whether they would like to know the truth or not. Meanwhile, if you’re feeling guilt or shame, odds are that you’re being secretive, not private.
Rebuilding trust after sharing the truth might be hard to do, but it’s not impossible. It will take time, effort, and consistency.
#16 I Overcharged Over 5,000 People
Back in high school I used to work the concession stand. In my school the booth was a little folding table where I would sell water, pop and chips.
To anyone that was a visiting team I would charge $.25-.50 more on the items they wanted to buy, and I would keep it.
I ended up making somewhere around $3,000 doing this for my high school career, and no one ever found out because I didn’t charge anyone from the home team the same amount.
Image credits: u/Nymmash
#17 I Cheated To Get My Bachelors And My Masters Degree
Yeah I cheated. I didn’t write any of my papers, I didn’t do any of the work myself. I stole a lot of work. Took only classes anyone I knew did and used all their work for it with minor changes. I made it through 6 years and got two degrees. I got a scholarship out of high school by cheating, I cheated during the SAT, I cheated most of my life and I feel a little bad but not really.. Thanks to a couple real ones for holding it down for me, wouldn’t have made it this far without you
Image credits: Musky-Chan
#18 I Sometimes Steal The Drink On Doordash Orders Because I Get Thirsty
I’ve been a driver for a couple months and I only do it 1-2 times a week for 6-7 hours and make around 230ish after gas. That being said, I get thirsty and hungry af towards the end. Sometimes I will simply hide the drink and 50% of the time they notice and call or text and I will tell them they can contact DoorDash for a refund or voucher, the other times I get no response. I also still have a 5 star rating
Image credits: u/benje17X
#19 I Stole Money In Junior High School With A Fake Fundraiser
When I was in junior high and it was perfectly fine to go door to door and ask for donations for sporting events and stuff, my sister had a typewriter and I would make up a fake sign-up form and ask for donations to a team going somewhere with my school. Easily [made] [one] hundred bucks in one day. Never forgave myself lol
Image credits: [deleted]
#20 I Sold Fake Drugs
At a party in high school i found a bottle of vitamin C pills in the bathroom and decided to tell other drunk kids that it was ecstasy and sold it to them for $20 a pill. I ended up leaving with about $200
Image credits: u/ehell_
#21 I Leave Fake Parking Tickets On Cars That Deserve Real Ones
I ordered a batch of them off Amazon and leave them wherever. Sometimes if nobody is around I make an effort and fill in all the details on it to freak them out before they get to the bottom and see it’s a fake.
Sometimes I just write something dumb in the comments and leave the rest blank.
I’ve left them on cars at my university that aren’t technically illegally parked, and on cars that are parked in no parking zones at my grocery store. I especially do it when somebody is parked in a handicap spot that’s not supposed to (no plate or hang-tag).
Local laws are sketchy on this, some would argue it’s misrepresenting itself as official and therefore illegal, but at the bottom of them they say they’re fake. So others would argue the worst they could get me on is littering if the police actually cared enough to do something.
#22 I Graduated At The Top Of My Class By Stealing Smart Students’ Homework
I was definitely smart in school. I was the type of student where I could take an exam and score [an] A without any time spent studying. But when it came to homework, I would do anything to avoid it, and I figured out a creative way to get myself through all of my tough classes without any critical thinking. The way my high school worked was everyone in the school had a [G]oogle account that all of your assignments were supposed to be turned in through. The username had the same criteria for everyone: first two letters of your first name, last four of your last name, and your graduating year. The password was your student ID number followed by the school district. Once I realized that I could easily figure out my classmates’ ID numbers without suspicion, life was a breeze. I’d make friends with a smart kid, pull out my student ID card and make fun of my photo on it. Then I’d ask to see what theirs looked like and sneakily take a picture to remember their number. Other kids would have their card hooked to their backpack or they’d have to take it out to buy lunch in the cafeteria and I’d take photos of it that way.
I had about 10 of my most hardworking peers’ accounts saved on my computer and all of their final work was my rough draft. I’d jazz it up to add my own personal flair, and change it a decent amount to the point where it was nearly impossible for a teacher to notice a similarity between our assignments and often turn it in to get a better grade than what they did. I ended up ranking top 15 of my class, was in the National Honors Society and won awards in a few of my classes. I’ve never told anyone before and I’m definitely not proud of it, but I’m not sure that I would’ve graduated otherwise.
Image credits: scorpiohoe98
#23 I Got Someone Fired And Never Told Anyone About It
I used to work for this job where we drove trucks around. On one day, I was driving a truck and I had to squeeze in between a small gate. I got through the gate fine, however on the way back I scratched the left side of the car. I didn’t report it because I didn’t think anyone would notice it.
A couple days later, I get called into my boss’ office and they have me fill out a report saying that I didn’t know about this damage and I drove the truck before it happened. Apparently, someone else drove the truck after me and it got reported while they were driving it. It was also his third strike and he got fired after that. I never told anyone that I caused the damage to the car. I didn’t think someone would get fired cuz of my damage. I worked at that job for another six months knowing I got some dude fired and I would feel bad when they would bring him up and say that they miss him. Well I don’t feel that bad . I didn’t cause the two strikes before it.
Image credits: Additional-Strike603
#24 I Added Tabasco To Wendy’s Chili And Used It To Get Second Place In A Chili Cook Off
Title basically says it all. This wasn’t a professional organized competition. There was some bmx event with a couple hundred people and they always have a chili cook off. I’m not much for cooking so I thought it would be funny to throw a bunch of Wendy’s chili in a crock pot and see if anyone noticed – they didn’t.
I’ve been a vegetarian for roughly twelve years so this was a long time ago.
Image credits: hostilecarrot
#25
I am a foot and a half taller than my wife. So when I take a shower I make sure to set the shower head as high as possible. Then when she gets in she can’t reach it to lower it and she has to call me in. So I get to see her naked. She has yet to realize that setting is too high for even me. Not that I can’t see her naked pretty much any time but still. It’s the little things.
#26 I Stole Over $20,000 In A Very Creative Way In The 90’s
I worked at a fast food chain in the 90’s when I was in high school. When I worked there they were in the process of phasing out denominational gift certificates. ($5, $10 & $25) The way is worked was if you spent more than half of the certificate they gave you the cash back. So if you ordered $5.50 worth of food and gave them one of the $10 gift cards, they gave you the $4.50 back in cash. My manager was in charge of destroying all the existing certificates as we transitioned to the more traditional credit card looking gift cards.
So my manager said he shredded the certificates like he was supposed to, but one night when I was closing I found two boxes of the gift cards tucked deep in the dry storage room. They were FILLED with the certificates that were supposed to be shredded. So, I scooped them up, brought them out to the dumpster in trash bags and threw them away. After we closed, I came back and recovered the back, and brought the certificates home. I counted them. There were 1,000 $25, 1,000 $10, and 500 $5 certificates. None of them had expiration dates. Total haul was $40K in fast food certificates. My manager never said a word, he couldn’t. He had reported them destroyed weeks earlier.
Over the next three years my girlfriend and I toured every location in our state, and the next 4 states ordering food, and getting the change. We never kept track on a spreadsheet or anything, but we got good at knowing what menu items were just about half.
After the first year, we started saving the change in a shoe box, and let it build up.
I bought my first car for $7,800 cash from the change. And for some reason A kiddie cone was $1.05, if you gave them a $5 cert they gave you $3.95 back. We threw away a lot of kiddie cones.
Image credits: u/AlBundy758
#27 I Gave A Lactose Intolerant Customer Dairy On Purpose
I know this sounds weird but when I worked at Starbucks, there was a regular customer that was very difficult and rude. I was warned of this customer on my first day of training. She came in every morning and would try to rush the workers on doing their job and makes other customers feel uncomfortable. 3 months into working, she came in one morning and caused absolute hell. She was complaining about her drink while one of my coworkers was making the drink. As soon as she got it she accidentally “spills” it and asks for a completely different drink. I was so fed up. She wanted a Frappuccino. She went to the bathroom while we were making the new order. I switched with my coworker and made the drink. Instead of almond milk I made the Frappuccino with regular milk. The drink was ready by the time she left the bathroom. She takes the drink and takes a sip and didn’t complain. 5 hours later she calls the Starbucks from the hospital and I was the one who picked up. She got in a car accident trying to rush to a bathroom. She said she sh*tted her pants. I couldn’t be anymore happier that she was safe but got her karma.
Image credits: SuperSlimeySlime
#28 When I Was A Kid I Would Wipe My [butt] With Towels That Were Hanging Up
This is something I’ve never admitted to a single person.
I’m not sure at what age I stopped doing this, but throughout most of my childhood I had this OCD compulsion where every time I would finish wiping I would stand up, walk over to the towel rack and give it one or two more thorough swipes. I couldn’t not do it. I felt unclean if I didn’t.
It wasn’t until I got a little older that I realized just how f**king f**ked up it was. My older siblings spent their entire childhoods drying their faces off with my shi**y remains.
I’ve been mortified about it for years but I’m actually in tears of laughter writing this out right now.
Image credits: TheFlightlessPenguin
#29 I Photoshop Every Photo Of My Mom
My mom has really had a hard time the past few years. When she entered menopause she gained weight and no matter how much she works out or what diet she tries she cannot drop it.
She is a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out, but I could tell it was really taking a toll on her. So I started (lightly) photoshopping pictures I take of her before I send them to anyone or print them. I just nip a little here and there, slight reshaping. and smoothing out a few wrinkles, nothing drastic, but enough.
Since I have started this she has started acting more confidently and has stopped making negative remarks about pictures she is in. She loves being in pictures with everyone again.
It has really helped. I have not told anyone and never will.
Image credits: wellsee2
#30 I Faked A Shellfish Allergy To Get Out Of Work Early
I’m a 18 (m) and I was serving at Olive Garden at the time. My managers know that I have shellfish allergies and I serve many tables who order seafood. One day we were super busy I felt like sh*t and wanted to just go home. I ended up purposefully touching a piece of shrimp to make me break out but not cause my throat to swell up. I told my manager I must of gotten seafood on me and insisted I must leave to get medicine. They were all worried and let me leave and I drove home feeling like a high schooler hooking up with a hot girl for the first time. I got home smoked a bowl and watched some rick and morty. I feel ashamed but I would without a doubt do it again.
#31 I Stole A Girls Ipod Touch And Then Sold It Back To Her A Month Later
It’s 2011, I’m in Year 7, it’s my first year in high school and I got sent somewhere where I literally only knew one person, and we never spoke.
A few months into the year and I’m sitting in Math class and this one girl who I just could not stand (and who also bullied me on and off) kept just interrupting for the stupidest of things, and just generally kept getting on my nerves the whole lesson.
Part way through the lesson the teacher tells us to leave our things in the classroom so we could go to the computer lab, and I was the last to leave the classroom. Note that most kids hid their iPods under their pencil cases during class so they could get away with using it, and I knew for a fact she’d left it there.
I don’t know what possessed me to steal her iPod, but I did. She never found out.
But now, I leave school, the iPod is still in my shorts pocket. Nobody knows what I’ve done. The girl thinks one of the guys was screwing with her and doesn’t suspect me at all.
Now the one defining feature of her iPod was that the back was completely covered in small circle stickers. Ones that had gotten so worn down they’d almost fused with the device. So I did what I could and I scrubbed those f*ckers off until it looked brand new.
I didn’t use it at all, in fear of my mum seeing it and screaming at me for being a thief. So it just sat in my room gathering dust, until about a month later I overhear her asking some people if they know anyone selling an iPod.
One week later and I’d made $150 by selling a girl her own iPod that’d just been factory reset and scrubbed down.
Image credits: u/onmywaytoday
#32 When I Was 9 I Started The Biggest Fire My Town Had Seen In 150 Years
When I was 9 my older cousin (14) stayed with me and my family for a couple weeks. My cousin was a troublemaker and her parents had hoped that sending her to ours would keep her out of trouble for a little while.
One day while she was over I asked if we could go to one of our local forest areas and make a fire to roast marshmallows. When we got down there we made a little makeshift campfire out of newpaper and sticks all on top a rock. Eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I started chucking different things into the fire. Leaves, sticks, pinecones, anything I could find in the little area we were in. Then I wondered what a leaf on a tree would do if we set fire to it. My cousin got her lighter and lit a small leaf on a near by tree. I stared at the reaction in awe and my cousin set a group of leaves on fire. We laughed as we watched the fire slowly engulf the branch. Once the fire burnt itself out we carried on setting fire to bushes and branches and then we realised that the fire wasn’t dying out. In fact it spreading.
My cousin started to freak out as she realised the fire wasn’t stopping. The summer heatwave had made everything so dry that it was catching fire extreamly quickly. She grabbed my hand and we ran to the dirt road that was on the outskirts to the forest. But instead of calling 999 we just stood there. Watching it as it spread and spread and spread. My cousin almost called them multiple times but I kept telling her I didn’t want to get into trouble so she never did. It had eventually spread so much that the fire department had trouble controlling it and had to order an evacuation of a nearby village. It was said to be the biggest fire the town had seen in 150 years. No one was hurt but it did take 10 hours to get under control.
It wouldn’t have been as bad if hadn’t stopped my cousin calling 999 when we first lost control. Both I and my cousin had promised not to tell a soul but 12 years on and my guilt is still here, I still feel terrible about it.
Image credits: u/anonymouspossum99
#33 I Stole A Pregnancy Test Bc I Couldn’t Afford One Today
Hi. I feel awful. Anyways long story short I only have $7.49 in my bank account I am a full time working student and test these days are 45.99!!!!!! And then cheapest one was 11.49. I just took one and I feel so bad I want to cry. But I really need to know- as I sit here on the toilet and type this waiting for the results.
#34 I Used To Eat My Coworkers Apple Chips At Work, Then Tell Him That I Was Allergic To Apples So He Wouldn’t Accuse Me
Just to be clear, this wasn’t because I was particularly hungry, its because my coworker was an absolute a**hole. He was really creepy toward the girls in the office and always said some pretty weirdly racist sh*t to our other coworker who was from mexico. He was just a crude, horribly annoying person who seemingly took enjoyment out of making everyone around him uncomfortable. He was like a mix of Todd Packer from the Office and Tony Soprano. He always brought these apple chips into work to eat for lunch, and occasionally I would go in, take the apple chips, and go to the nearby park and eat them for lunch. He would go around asking everyone if they took the chips and would act all pissed off because he knew someone took them.
Instead of just flat out telling him I’m allergic to apples, I put on a little show. He was eating his chips 2 days before I started to take them, and I asked if I could have one, and I took one and almost took a bite, then said “these aren’t apple flavored are they?” and he said they were, then I quickly put it back on the plate and went to go wash my hands and I said I was allergic. Much more believable than me just flat out telling him.
This went on for about 2 months. I must have taken his chips like 10~ times or so.
#35 I Stole The Class’ Marbles So We’d Never Fill The Jar And Get The Pizza Party
In grade 6, we had a glass jar at the front of the classroom. When we behaved, the teacher would take out a marble from her desk and put it in the jar, or remove one if we were misbehaving. The teacher promised that we’d get a pizza party if the jar was filled past a certain line, except we never did, and it was because of me.
I disliked a lot of my classmates because they were annoying and rude. I hated the idea that little Jimmy, who would constantly moan and make weird noises for attention, would get rewarded just because everyone else in the class was behaving.
And so, every time we earned any marbles, I would ask to go to the washroom during recess and go to the classroom to take out a few of them. Then, I would go back to recess and throw the marbles over the fence so that we never reached our goal. Eventually, I think one of the teachers caught on because she went to buy new marbles, but I kept doing the same thing.
Oh, and I also don’t like pizza anyways, so it was a win-win for me
#36 My Friends And I Silly Stringed A Guys Convertible And It Was Bad
When I was in 10th grade me and some friends thought it would be a good idea to go egging house and spraying silly string on cars. We waited until the weekend and we all went out and bought a few cartons of eggs and a can of silly string for each of us. Later that night we all went out, we decided not to do it in our neighborhood because we thought people would know it was our group of friends. As we were walking we saw this convertible with the top down and I said “this top is down let’s spray a bunch of silly string in it” so we sprayed a bunch of silly string in this guys car and I mean we basically went through each of our cans. After we were done being menaces we had to walk past the same car we silly stringed and the owner was out there and he was pissed, he was holding a crowbar and pacing back and forth. When he saw us he immediately knew it was us but what would he of done? Beat all 5 of us 15-16 year olds with a crowbar? Looking back I feel awful about the entire thing, I can’t imagine how difficult it was to clean up
#37 I Pavlov’d My Girlfriend
My ex used to use a specific shampoo and over time i noticed that every time i smell this shampoo on other people i automatically think of her and this got me planning..
For my current girlfriend, every time we got down to business i put on a cologne that i saved specifically for those times. No matter how spontaneous the action was, i found the time to put on a puff or two of this perfume secretly and then continue.
After weve been going on for couple months, i began to do tests – i put this perfume on when casually walking in the kitchen past her, and just sat down in the living room. Soon enough, after couple minutes she got here and initiated sexy times!
Now i use it ocassionally (im very careful not to overuse it so it doesnt spoil the effect) when i want to get hee going, and it works well enough 🙂
My favorite is putting it on before going out to a public place, and watching her get super worked up and unload at home
#38 I Messed Up My Local Eco System By Setting Hundreds Of Californian Ladybugs Free And Never Told Anyone Even After I Started Noticing The Changes
I just recently was reminded of this story by the man on TikTok who let millions of frogs go in his backyard. Someone in the comments mentioned the story of a man who let out ladybugs and a wave of regret hit me.
When I was about 13, my science teacher let us choose our own final projects. My friend and I wanted to do research on [m]etabolism, and after searching around the internet we discovered that ladybugs would be the best test subjects for our experiment. We somehow got approved by our school to order 100 ladybugs from California for the sake of science. However, when they finally arrived, it turned out that my teacher had ordered wrong and there were 500 lovely little creatures waiting for us in a box. We got a bigger container to hold them all and ran the experiment as planned. Spring break finally rolled around and my teacher assured us that he would take care of the ladybugs while we were gone.
However, when we returned, the box sat unmoved on the table. Our teacher had forgotten to feed them and they all lay on the bottom, dead from starvation. You would think that having done an experiment on the metabolism of these organisms that can withstand crazy temperatures and prolonged starvation we would have realized they could still be alive, but no. I cried and felt terrible for leaving all of them to die. My teacher reluctantly gave me permission to go “bury” them to respect their loss.
I opened the container and a swarm of ladybugs took flight, dissipating into the air. Some were actually dead, but the majority had left the container. My teacher watched this happen, and although a lot of the details are fuzzy, I’m 99% sure that my teacher told me to keep it quiet.
The next years to come came some of the worst ladybug-related disasters my small town had ever witnessed. They CRUSTED the windows of every home and ate foliage like crazy. People who were unfortunate enough to have poor insulation (including me) would find them in every nook and cranny in the house. In such a tightknit community full of farmers and gardeners, word spread fast. And I just watched it all happen, knowing full well who was responsible. Years went by until the population of ladybugs seemed to go back down, but they still run rampant. I’m not sure what help could have resulted from my confession, but it certainly would have cleared up what had happened for the dozens of townspeople who didn’t understand why this was happening to them.
I feel absolutely terrible and wish I had confessed sooner. I know it seems like an unfortunate mistake, but in hindsight it was reckless and I should have told someone sooner. I have told a few friends since the story re-entered my mind, but I just thought I needed to apologize to the public.
#39 I Put My Infant Daughter In The Closet, Shut The Door And Walked Away
I’m so overwhelmed. I haven’t really slept in 8 weeks. That’s how old my daughter is. She’s a beautiful little girl, but she screams and screams and screams. I do everything to console her. I make sure she is fed, dry, not in pain and comfortable. But she almost never stops screaming. My husband left this weekend for a business trip and I was alone with her for the first time. It was going ok this morning, but then the floodgates opened. I held her, rocked her, bounced her but nothing worked. I wanted to shake her
I’m ashamed to type this, but I wanted to shake my baby. I thought I was about to have a nervous breakdown. I was so fed up that I strapped her into her car seat, placed her in our coat closet and shut the door. She was still screaming and I shut the door on her. I set a one hour alarm, went upstairs and collapsed into my bed. I wouldn’t say a slept, more like I instantly went unconscious. An hour later my alarm went off and I sprung up and ran downstairs to her. She was sleeping and no longer crying. I picked her up and held her and just started sobbing. It’s too much. I’m a terrible mother. I can’t handle this.
#40 My Wife Thinks I Take Our Daughter To Dancing Classes But I Actually Take Her To An MMA Gym
The dancing and MMA gym aren’t too far apart which is how we have been able to get away with it for 2 years.
My daughter loves it there and everyone is so kind to her.
Before you jump in telling me I’ve forced my daughter into being an elite fighter, over a dancer. I didn’t! At first I took her to dancing classes and she hated it, she said all the girls were already in groups of friends when she started and they wouldn’t talk to her.
So I said “screw it why don’t we both learn MMA, it’s way more useful that dancing anyway”
I can’t tell my wife about it because she hates stuff like that and there literally no reasoning with her on the subject of fighting.
#41 Served Potentially Toxic Fast Food
I really need to get this one off my chest. I think I’ve done something immoral.
When I was in high school, I worked at a local fast-food chain. I initially started working since I was told it was a good idea to get a job. But as I started working, the reality kicked in. I became more and more jaded, realizing that I had basically become a robot, and absolutely hating every second of my life at the workplace. Everybody I talked to hated working there. And I didn’t know what to do.
The idiot I am, absolutely bored out of my mind, [I] starting finding ways of amusing myself. One way was to put ice cubes in frying oil, which would make it pop. This kind of activity slowly devolved into putting paper receipts and… plastic straws and bags into the oil. I liked seeing the effect it would have on the paper and plastics as it would crumple into itself. It didn’t pass my mind that this would possibly release toxic chemicals into the oil. While I don’t know what kind of toxic material this would’ve released, I now realize how dangerous this is.
I was caught by the manager, who simply said “don’t do that.” Who in hindsight should’ve fired me, scolded me, and completely dumped and refreshed the oil or something. I assume he was too busy, although I didn’t continue doing it after he said that. I left the workplace a few months later as I hated working there so much.
I hurt and poisoned people, who had no idea, strangers, meaninglessly, out of boredom and pure foolishness and stupidity. As far as I know I could’ve given dozens of people cancer.
tldr, I put plastic in frying oil out of boredom
#42 I Hate My Brain Damaged Sister
I can’t believe I am actually typing this out right now, it’s making it feel very real. And before you say it, I know, I know. I am probably one of the worst human beings on this planet.
Around a year ago, my older sister (27), widowed mother of 2 boys (8) and (5) decided to, against every single warning made, get drunk as s**t and wreck her car into a rock embankment outside of our town. She was life flighted to a ICU, spent weeks in a coma and awoke in vegetative state. In the past year, she has SLOWLY began to see some progress.
Because of this accident, I was forced to quit my job, leave my friends, move across the country and back in with my parents, to help take care of her and raise my nephews. I love them dearly, but I have never wanted to have kids, especially not forced upon me like this.
She had the mind of a child now, argues about silly things, can’t cook for herself, cries over everything, can’t read, memory loss, partially paralyzed on her right side, has aphasia, and a LIST of other problems with me as her caregiver. She tell me how happy she is to be alive after such a bad car accident. I want to scream that I wish she would have died. Her boys are a wreck after losing their dad recently and now having a f*cked up mom. My parents are spending all of their retirement savings for her treatments. I can see the years getting shaved off my dad and mom from the stress.
I don’t treat her any differently, I still tell her stories and laugh with her and do my best, but I hate the way I feel when I look at her. Did you even think about your boys when you got in your car? She is smiling and completely ignorant to the pain she has caused to my entire family. So I guess that’s it. That’s my confession. I have a deep dark hatred and resentment for someone I love. And I will never let her know.
Edit: I am a female btw.. and some people have said pretty horrid and cruel things and I totally get it. But I already feel pretty f*cking sh*tty about my feelings so you can’t really make me feel any worse.
Everyone else. Thank you so much for the support, advice and feedback. I’ve read and appreciated every comment. Alot of the medical and healthcare advice I will be talking to my parents about and hopefully the financial parts of this can be helped a bit. Thanks guys, much love.
#43 I Faked My Resume And Now I’m In The Sh*t
Throwaway account for obvious reasons. Since I started High School, my parents stopped checking in on my grades and their mentality was basically “we don’t care as long as you get into a good university” and they’ve carried on this mentality to when I got into college and they didn’t really checked on my grades and gave me free rein as long as I majored in the subjected they wanted and graduated on time with good grades. Well basically what happened was that I failed my first year and had to switch my major. I didn’t tell them and they didn’t ask so I thought as long as I got my sh*t together and not drop out I’ll be fine. One day out of the blue last semester my dad asked me to write up a resume. I panicked and wrote up a resume but changed the GPA and major and made up some sh*t and thought I saved myself. Welp, this winter break my dad dropped it on me and told me he knows people in a big company, he gave them my resume and everything and wanted me to intern there. So I am f**ked. They’ll probably figure it out and let my dad know and I’ll probably get disowned or something, and best case scenario they don’t check and give me the job, and I have to live with the guilt that I got a job that I didn’t deserve cause of nepotism, this sh*t is depressing as f*ck and I’m typically an easy going guy but this whole ordeal is giving me anxiety like nothing else. I feel like an a** for failing and lying to my family about it and now I’m on the verge of being blown and I thought maybe making a post here will make me feel better but I honestly don’t know.
#44 I Fake An Accent At My Job
My heart is pounding writing this because I literally haven’t told anyone this. So I work at this one store, and I work on the sales floor; but before all that, I was just one person interviewing for a position at the store. Before I arrived for my interview, a friend of mine dared me to interview in a British accent. I said I’d do it only if they paid me, and to my surprise, they sent me like $10 through venmo (which was more than enough for me). I went into the interview with the mindset that I wasn’t gonna get hired and they inevitably hired me on the spot. Accent and all. I was nervous because I had already talked to a whole bunch of higher ups with the accent and decided to just go through with it -thinking it was only going to be a summer job. I was so wrong. It’s been like 7 months that I’ve been working there and I still use the accent to this day. When people ask me where I’m from I just tell them my hometown because I have several brits from that town whom I grew up with. The accent hasn’t really posed a problem until now cause my bf is friends with one of my coworkers so I’m gonna have to find the right time to come clean.. thanks for coming to my TedTalk
#45 I Trash My Coworkers Mugs And Dishes When They Leave It Soaking In The Community Sink
At work we have a kitchenette and at the end of the day, my coworkers leave their dishes/mugs filled with oatmeal and other things left to soak. We even have a sign that states “Do not leave personal belongings in the kitchenette. We are not responsible for lost items”. I stay at work pretty late so I see the night janitor come in and clean. I noticed that he goes out of his way to wash the dishes and mugs, which isn’t a part of his job (our company only contracts them to do floors and trash so it’s our responsibility to clean up after ourselves). My coworkers must have noticed too because they have since stopped doing their own dishes and has been leaving piles in the sink knowing that they will be magically washed and dried in the morning. They even make comments about the “Mexican sucker” that’s cleaning for them. This has been on going for a few weeks now and my coworkers even have the audacity to complain about water spots on their mugs. So throughout the day when I find myself alone in the kitchenette, I take an item or two and toss them out in the building hallway trash so it can’t be found. We work in a building where we share office space with other businesses and there’s no cameras so I haven’t been caught yet. A coworker asked our manager about their items being taken, but my manager just reiterated the policy. I guess I am being petty, but my coworkers are trash and I don’t feel bad.
#46 I Used To Throw Out Food So My Mom Had To Cook Again
When I was a kid I used to live alone with my mother, she always cooked more than necessary at lunch so she don’t need to cook again for dinner. Food usually was enough even for the next day lunch. I hated this, in my mind, there was no need for that. She was just lazy. I threw out the food so she had to cook a new one, this last for a month or so, obviously she realized what I was doing but never said a word, she just took the “hint” and cooked less.Looking back, she was so f*cking busy. Single mother having to take care of a child and work at the same time. Honestly, this is not something I cared that much until last week when she died, everything came back. All the sh*t I’ve done in the past that made our life difficult
#47 I Got Mad At My Girlfriend Today And Opened Her MacBook Air I Had Wrapped Under The Tree And Rewrapped It And Addressed It To My Son
Girlfriend and I got into an argument over our kids’ Christmas spending budget. We both have a kid from a previous relationship. Her daughter and my Son. We have an agreed budget of $1000 for each kid. We have met that budget for both kids last week.
Today she tells me she wants to get her daughter a phone and wants to buy her an iPhone XS Max easily putting her daughter close to $1200 over our agreed Christmas budget.
We have a shared bank account so it’s not quite the “it’s her daughter and her money so what’s the deal” kinda thing.. we argued for three days over the issue, we couldn’t afford to spend another $1200 on my son to even out the budgets again at a ludicrous $2200 each.. my son would have never if know we spent an extra money on her but that’s not the point.. it’s unfair and in my opinion it’s favoritisms..
After another very heated argument over the issue. I walked over to the tree, grabbed her present. Opened it in front of her, and then rewrapped it and addressed it to my son. Now the budgets are mostly equal again give or take $100…
Merry Christmas…. B*tch
P.S the MacBook was purchased on my personal Credit card so she wouldn’t have known about it.
#48 I Stole $40 From My Mom To Buy A Can Of Pringles
Back in grade school when I was about 10 I stole $40 from my mothers purse to use whenever I wanted to buy something. Once I got to school that day though I saw one of the other kids had a can of dill pickle Pringles which are still my absolute favorite to this day. So my stupid 10year old self gave him all $40 for that single and enjoyed every single of those delicious f*ckers.
When I came to school the next day though the same kid I bought the Pringles from, gave me back the $40 while crying because apparently his mom screamed at him to give it back and now he couldn’t buy candy with it because his mom wouldn’t let him keep it. I held on to that money for a couple days until my mom started looking around and asking if I had seen the money laying around since it wasn’t in her purse, so once I realized how I’d get my a*s beat if she found out I hid it under the couch and ‘found’ it about 30 minutes later. I never got caught but still look back on it and laugh that I essentially got some Pringles for free from the whole ordeal.
#49 I Lied About My Height For Most Of High School
So once I stopped growing I was at a happy 6 foot even, but that wasn’t enough for me, I needed more. I would tell everyone I was 5’10”. I noticed there was a large population of guys who claimed to be 6 foot but were just under the mark, so to really drive the point home. I’d argue that I’m under 6 foot and since they’re shorter than me, they can’t be 6 feet tall. Watching the panic in their eyes as they tried to defend their height was the highlight of my highschool experience.
#50 I Used To Steal Coffee From Starbucks
A couple years ago I downloaded the Starbucks app and signed up for the membership to save my card and orders and such. After signing up, you get a coupon in your email for a free coffee of any make/size. At first, I didn’t know you had to load it to the app after ordering, so when I went up to the counter and ordered my usual venti caramel Frappuccino with an extra pump caramel and extra caramel drizzle. I proceeded to show the barista the code I had in the email, and he said, “it has to be loaded onto the app.” I honestly had no clue how to use the code, but instead of going through the whole process on the app, he just let me have the free drink. I took this knowledge and used it on other Starbucks throughout my town for almost a year. Now, I’m not a total dirtbag because everytime I got a free drink, I’d buy a square of lemon cake and leave a couple dollar tip
#51 I Charged A Kid At My School 40 Dollars For 2 Bottles Of Fake Prime Hydration
This happened yesterday. Last week, me and my family went on a family vacation to California. We are originally from Canada, so we don’t have access to KSI and Logan Paul’s new energy drink, Prime Hydration. While in the US, I took the chance to buy and try out all of the flavors, but wasn’t able to bring any back home because the bottles are over 100ml, and airports don’t allow you to take anything over the limit with you. So, I decided to bring the empty bottles of Prime I drank from while in the US with me back to Canada as a souvenir, as it was the next best thing. When we got back from vacation, I sent pictures of the bottles to a group chat with kids in my school in it. I didn’t think much of it until one kid, Let’s call him Alex, messaged me asking how much he could buy them from. I thought about telling him the truth, but wanted to see how much he was actually willing to buy them for. He told me he could give me 40 dollars if I could give him one of the orange and one of the lemon lime flavored ones. This was an amazing deal since I bought them for about 3 dollars each. So I told him it was a deal. Not knowing what to do, I decided to fill the empty bottles with Gatorade and try to pass it off as Prime. Well, it worked. He bought them without realizing and that was that. And, to add insult to injury I found out after I sold them to him that he planned to give them to his brother for his Birthday.
I can’t stop thinking about it and feel really guilty for doing this. I don’t think I would have done it if I knew what they were for
#52 When I Was 15 I Pushed My Father Down The Stairs While In A Fight
So my room didn’t have a door because it was broken and my room was next to the bathroom. My sister was in there for a very long time and he wanted her to get out because it was around 10PM but she didn’t. So he looked into my room from where he was standing for a while and while i was playing a game he pulled the wire from my mouse in a very hostile way, we then said some things to eachother and i pushed him out of my room and then he tripped and fell down the stairs.
Instead of helping him i felt so good and powerful, it was a scary feeling thinking back about it. That night he slept on the couche and i didn’t say a word to him. The next day he went to the doctor and it turned out that he had a shifted vertebra.
#53 Deliberately Organised A Bad Work Xmas Party So I Didn’t Have To Go
This happened a while ago (obviously) and was pre-COVID.
I was the office manager and I was told to organize the work Xmas party for about 30 people.
Everyone would need to pay for themselves AND it was outside of work time. Both a big no from me, but surprisingly, there were some people kinda interested in an after-work dinner/drinks outing.
Our Xmas parties were voluntary and normally I didn’t go to them because I’d rather spend my time and money elsewhere, but if I was the organizer I kinda had to go. I had been there a few years, no issue with the people, but I kept work/social separate.
So, I was a bit of a foodie, nothing big but started hamming it up a bit more at work – [m]ention[ed] the fancy restaurant degustations I’d go to or some of the different cuisine I was trying on weekends.
So I chose a cuisine that wasn’t weird, but unfamiliar enough so people were out of their comfort zones (Portuguese).
Because it was Xmas, restaurants were only doing set menus. So I found one that was a bit pricier but not crazy expensive to look like I did it on purpose ($70 per person without drinks – we’re in a no-tipping country).
Different food + expensive menu = 3 RSVP yes and a canceled Xmas party.
It was entirely deliberate, sorry but not sorry.
#54 I Tried To Miscarry My Baby And Hurt Her Permanently
When I was 15, I got myself pregnant unintentionally. I was a very promiscuous horny teenager and I wasn’t exactly safe about it. Sometimes I used condoms, sometimes I didn’t. I got really worried when I started experiencing the usual symptoms of morning headaches and nausea and skipped my period, so I took a pregnancy test and what I feared was true, I was pregnant.
I had no idea how to react to this. For one I was utterly terrified and I wanted to get rid of it. In a way it felt parasitic, the thing inside me with the power to f**k my life up. I have very Christian parents who would have disowned me for having an abortion, but I knew they would actually love to raise this kid. However, I hated the idea. I had problems with eating at the time and didn’t want to gain the pregnancy weight and I just didn’t want a child.
I guess I’m making excuses, even now. I started a smoking habit very promptly, since I’d heard in science lessons that one of the effects of smoking can be miscarriage. I barely ate at all, and if I did I threw it up, all in the hopes of starving it as if I was trying to get rid of a fever. It didn’t work. I gave birth to her far too early and as a result she is blind. I gave her away and haven’t heard from her since, she’s 8 by now. My parents were surprisingly supportive and I got the help I needed for my eating disorder and I still go to regular therapy. I just had to get it off my chest.
#55 I Stole So Much Ketchup From My School That They Had To Switch From Packets To A Dispenser
I don’t regret this but I find it funny. One day my friend gave me 5 bucks to go up and take all of the ketchup, and another 5 to do it again right in front of the lunch ladies when they refilled it. This became a habit of mine, emptying the ketchup into my jacket and leaving everyone else with none. We were debating what to do with the packets but in the end decided to keep them, I think we had 1200+. One day though, I just took the entire basket that the ketchup was in as well, and put it on the table next to ours as to frame those kids. The janitor found it and took it back to the lunch ladies, who looked pissed. We had no ketchup for a couple days, then we got a dispenser. I stopped stealing condiments after this. And no, I don’t like ketchup.
I don’t believe I made the lunch ladies jobs harder, but looking back on it I do feel a little bad for the kids that wanted ketchup.
#56 I Along With My Siblings Destroyed An Awesome Collection Of Vinyls Our Parents Collected Over Several Years
Our parents owned original records from their young years. Led Zepp, Pink Floyd, Beatles, ABBA, Carpenters, Bee Gees, and what not. It was our elder cousin’s idea that it’d be fun to break them. They were just black/grey disks for us. We had our fun back then. I still remember the look on my uncle’s face. He was stricken dumb.
I regret it every time the word vinyl comes up. So does my older cousin because they love rock as well. It was her idea to just break them. We were a mischievous lot. But there’s no excuse. We would have been heirs to an amazing collection of vinyls but we chose violence
#57 I Stole A Microwave From Walmart Out Of Desperation
I while back while I was still in college I lived with my then fiancée in a very over-priced apartment in a relatively big city. At the time, my job was only paying about $7.50/hr and I was studying and working full-time just to pay the bills. Basically a decent yet expensive apartment, and just enough money to pay the bills.. not much wiggle room.
Well one night my S/O was at work and I was at home, heating up some leftovers for dinner in our microwave and as I go to take the plate out, it slips and hits the door of the microwave on the inner edge and completely shatters the front of the microwave. So I’m freaking, expecting my S/O to come home mad at me and/or just stressing about having to buy another one. And then I saw a walmart receipt on the counter and I went to walmart.
It was probably around 9pm, my S/O was going to be getting off soon, so I’m rushing. I walk in, find the exact same model of microwave that we have, and grab it off the shelf. I took the receipt out of my pocket and held it with the microwave, and just walked out the door. After getting it out and setting it up I told my S/O I cleaned the microwave. Never told a soul about it. That was probably about 6 years ago… still using the microwave :/
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