A handshake is not a done deal. According to a survey by Jobvite, 30% of those seeking employment have left a job within the first 90 days of starting.

But some new hires also get fired. Last week, Reddit user Pyapio made a post on the platform, asking everyone to share the thing the new worker did that got them terminated immediately.

From coming in under the influence to making ignorant and hurtful remarks, here are some of the most popular answers.

#1

Ate all the skins off of all the rotisserie chickens in the gourmet section of the supermarket.

He couldn’t help himself and ate the skin off of one chicken, “because that’s the best part”.

Then to make sure they all “looked the same” he ate the rest of the chicken skins as well.

I personally think he won on some level.

Image credits: MikeAppleTree

#2

Showed up 2 hours late, hungover, in a dirty t-shirt, cutt-offs and dirty sneakers and obviously un bathed. He looked GREAT 3 days ago at his interview…

The walked into the office and the manager met him halfway across the floor.

New Guy: “Oh, hey! I had kind of a wild weekend.”

Boss : “Go home. Do not come back. You don’t work here.”

Image credits: Eponarose

#3

He wouldn’t get off reddit. 

I’m serious. He was on his phone all throughout training. Once he got a workstation, not only was there always something non-work related on his computer every time I walked by his desk, his bookmark bar was 100% sites like reddit and digg, 0% work related links like our bug tracker and wiki. 

And the thing was, this was a work environment where it was totally okay to spend company time on sites like that, almost everyone did. You just had to also get your work done at some point. 

He also would take regular breaks to just walk around the office and ask people what they were working on. Not just a quick “hey, what project are you on” but like, an extended interview of stupid questions. Highschoolers visiting for job shadow opportunities had better questions than this guy who went to a top CS school.

He was assigned to my project, so I got to see the little work that he actually completed. Usually for the first few tasks, the lead programmer would assign the newbie some ridiculously easy tasks to get them oriented to our workflow. 

The very first thing this guy was assigned to do was to copy/paste a few lines of code into a specific file. The second task was exactly the same, except he had to write the two lines of code himself. It was still a ridiculously easy task that should have taken 5 minutes. An hour later, he complained to the lead that it was too hard and he didn’t understand why he, a person who was hired to write code after going to college to learn how to code, was being asked to write code. 

Image credits: PreviousObject1312

#4

Hired this young guy to work reception in a fancy office. He showed up looking pretty rough one morning, maybe his second week on the job, and I noticed him staring intently at the desk in front of him. He glances up at me and just says “Spiders. I think they’re coming from my hair.” 

Image credits: Brilliant_Yam_9312

#5

Working at a restaurant years ago. 20 something year old new busboy came in for his first day after his training shift. We couldn’t find him after the first 10 minutes of his shift until one of our cooks found him smoking a cigarette… IN THE WALK IN FREEZER…

I’ll never forgot our manager’s reaction. He was like, “dude, you could’ve just taken a a quick smoke break outside since it’s not busy; actually go do that now”! (Opens the back door out of the kitchen). Bus boy walks out and our manager slammed the door shut behind him.

Image credits: PoignantPoint22

#6

Ages ago at a warehouse job. One guy got fired for s******g in the cardboard disposal chutes. The other one I remember had just finished training. We used safety knives to cut open boxes, you extended the blade and then when it finished the cut the blade snapped back into the handle. This genius saw a cute girl who started with him acting really nervous with the knife, so to bolster her confidence he extended his blade and said “See? They can’t cut you!” Then he ran the blade up his forearm. The company was as efficient their two day shipping would suggest, he got his final paycheck right before the ambulance doors closed.

Image credits: RedditBecameTheEvil

#7

I was training a guy who was carrying around a large water bottle. He would drink from it pretty often. I didn’t think much of it as I was more concerned with how utterly stupid he was. He couldn’t understand basic concepts and asked the dumbest questions. I was forming a theory in my head that he was a space alien and it was his first day on Earth. I was going to recommend to my manager the next day that we don’t keep him on. I arrived at work the next day and brought up the new guy. Manager and another guy there both said “He won’t be back.” Why? “The water bottle…” What about it? New guy had arrived at work before me, and was pouring some kind of salt out of a packet into the bottle. They asked him what he was drinking. He said it was the recommendation of his “healer” (whatever that means) and it was “healing salts” and part of his “therapy”. He was drinking his own p**s the whole time.

Image credits: MZM204

#8

As an ice breaker question before a staff meeting he said he’d like to go back to the days when men were cowboys and woman stayed home and churned butter. Our staff is 90% women (not that it would excuse the response if it wasn’t). He didn’t last much longer after that.

Image credits: gpRYme

#9

Week and a half into the job, big box retail. Guy (about mid 20s) started and immediately started gravitating toward 16 year old female cashiers. Constantly having to be coached to do his job and not stand and talk to the cashiers. I guess a few days in, he stole a manager’s daily binder basically, which included the entire schedule and full names. The guy ended up finding and messaging a few of the underage cashiers on social media asking them to smoke with him on the clock by the dumpsters. That isn’t what got him fired though! One of the cashiers he messaged, took it upon themselves to search him. Found an article dated less than a year prior that he was charged and admitted to two separate r***s on a college campus (mugshot included so it was absolutely him). She brought that to HR and threatened to sue the company for creating a hostile work environment because of their lack of thorough background checks. Turns out they only do a BG check in the county the store is located, the guy’s charges were a county over. By far the smartest 16 year old I’ve encountered. He was gone and she got herself a raise so she’d stay quiet on social media about it. 

Image credits: smartfoodpopcorn69

#10

Bank of America new guy decided to look up the balance of NBA stars including Kobe about 15 years ago.

He got fired but not after learning Kobe kept $2mm in cash in some random savings account for a rainy day.

For those that don’t know – this is wildly illegal and against bank policies. You never have the right to look up anyone’s account unless they explicitly give you permission verbally and in writing. Let alone for a celebrity.

Instant fire and never worked in the industry again. Total idiot.

Image credits: TheStarcraftPro

#11

40 something year old showed up the day after his first payday all strung out and bragging how he had spent the whole night before at the skate park riding his BMX, and he was all hyped to get to work. The boss said that he wanted him to take a p**s test before he started work.
The last he was seen, he was running away from the workshop with no shirt on and only one shoe. The funny thing is he left his bike at the workshop, and never came back for it.

Image credits: trueblue862

#12

Many years ago, I hired a computer technician to perform on-site repairs for my clients. After sitting down with him in an informal interview, I decided to lob him a softball call to ensure he wasn’t a complete f*****t.

He gets to said call half an hour late, but s**t happens right?

15 minutes into this event, I field a call from him. Instead of the usual procedural questions or a report on what’s transpiring, I listen to him rambling on about how the malware on the client’s system is really easy to deal with and that the client is a complete moron.

I barely have time to process what the hell is going on when…

Seconds later, the other line rings. I place “tech” on hold and answer. It’s the client. Absolutely mortified at this sack of s**t I’ve sent to her and the things she’s hearing said about her through her bathroom door.

WTF. There’s not enough coffee in the world to deal with this.

I assure the client that I’ll take care of it.

Go back to “tech” on line one. Proceed to inquire what in the yellow rubbery f**k he’s doing s**t-talking the client to me while phoning from her f*****g bathroom.

Instruct him to end his efforts, collect his s**t, and leave the client’s property post-haste.

Before he left, he apparently gave the client the waterworks about how she’s cost him his job, and also left his goddamn resume with her.

Fun part? He demanded to be paid for this nonsense. I acquiesce, since frankly I just want him to f**k right off into the wild blue yonder and never darken my door again.

Best part? Years later, I put out an ad to replace a retired technician in the same region. Guess who sent in an application? Guess who phoned repeatedly when I didn’t respond to this idiocy?

If the “technician” is reading this… I still stand beside my last remarks to you: *you’re a f*****g twit*.

Image credits: asstyrant

#13

P**n in the very open very busy cafeteria. He had it on mute but one of the managers didn’t think it was funny when they walked up to intorduce himself on the guys first day.

Image credits: andyman171

#14

He didn’t even start his first day yet. He just got hired and was suppose to start the following day. Got caught trying to wheel a big Bluetooth speaker right out of the door with the spider wrap still on the box.

Image credits: emiliamarie

#15

Hired a new it guy. First thing he did was change his email address to bigdaddy@… Fired on the spot.

Image credits: KRed75

#16

New college hire fed ghost pepper to co worker. Co worker reacted badly. Ambulance called. New hire fired.

Image credits: my_random_name

#17

I worked at a company where we hired a techie engineering type, and the first day he spent all 8 hours setting up his workspace, his monitors, several keyboards, various equipment etc. We had a small in house get together, he drank too much and spit on one of the founders friends, made some derogatory remarks. Was fired at 8am the next morning and spent the next 4 hours disassembling everything he had just put up. Didn’t even work 1 day.

Image credits: JaydedXoX

#18

Worked at a facility that processed mail for the post office.

There was a specialized sorting machine used only by our postal inspector in the back corner of the factory. We were all told when hired, and constantly after, this machine was stupid expensive, and the one rule was DO NOT USE THE ELECTRIC PALLET JACKS NEAR IT.

There were signs posted, yellow lines painted on the floor as a no go zone. Even cement posts surrounding the area. Mail DID have to be moved there so you could fit between the posts with the normal, non powered jack.

New floor lead is hired, he’s come from a similar company and has years of experience. His first night our shift opens with a team meeting with our manager. On the other side of the floor the new lead is moving pallets of mail around.

Suddenly we hear a crash. He has driven the electric jack directly into the expensive machine. Destroyed the computer, two monitors, the loading belt, the cabinet that held a lot of the innards of the machinery. Just smashed it to smithereens.

He was gone the next night.

Image credits: offspring515

#19

White guy made a joke about lynchings at work, was gone by the end of the day. He was 4 days in the job.

Image credits: V0l4til3

#20

Worked at bob evans the new guy stole a tub of peanut butter … the delivery guy saw him put it in his car. He was referred to as peanut butter boy after .. (i saw him around town).

Image credits: badpeoria

#21

I hired a guy once that was no call no show for 3 days after he just started. I terminated his employment and he said he was in jail because his girlfriend called the cops on him. He then filed a complaint with the labor board and I had to go for a hearing. I explained why he was fired to the judge and she asked him for an explanation. His response was “I was in jail for assault but I didn’t do it”. She asked him if he was convicted and he said “Yeah, but I didn’t do it.”

The judge dismissed the case.

Image credits: dma1965

#22

One guy punched the supervisor because he didn’t like being told what to do. Which is strange because he worked a total of 1.5 hours so he didn’t know what to do. I’m not sure how you’re supposed to learn something if nobody tells you how to do it… There was the guy that was 45 minutes late his first day. On time the second day. And on the third day, he called and said he might be a little bit late because of traffic, but he’d try to get here on time. Problem was that this was three hours after his shift was supposed to start. This was the only time I’ve fired someone without talking to my boss or HR first.

Image credits: theFooMart

#23

He was flirting with patients and asking for their number.

It was a paediatric hospital.

Yes, police were contacted.

Image credits: Capzien89

#24

1.5 days into the job, she was watching netflix on her phone with her airpods while she was receiving training from the manager. When we approached her about this, she said “is this not okay?”

Image credits: dubstylers

#25

Drinking a giant watermelon Gatorade non stop and slurring. 

That Gatorade was half vodka. Employee was 4 years under legal drinking age in a customer facing role swilling vodka all day long

Image credits: Mister_Brevity

#26

Hired a guy to do crawlspace work. Dude gets to the first job, turns to me and says he has claustrophobia. He was on the job 5 minutes.

Image credits: Ownedby4Labs

#27

Hired three new laborers to help shovel out some trenches that were already excavated. Only job was to shovel some loose dirt out from the bottom of the hole.

The guys hired were in great shape, had experience and could talk the talk. The job was described as a rush and high paced, pay was substantial.

The first day all they did was chat amongst themselves and literally lean on their shovels.

They were fired before lunch.

#28

at my workplace it’s really, really hard to get fired even if you are the most incompetent, absentee f**k-up.. but the people who do, it’s for being sexually inappropriate, either jokes or touching or both. Keep it in your pants people.

#29

Remembered another one. It’s this kids first day. He sees his friend come in, and they both go into the bathroom together. The manager just happened to see them on camera. And then they both leave the bathroom together. Manager goes to check the bathroom and finds something that suspiciously looks like c*****e. Of course he gets fired. But it gets better. He’s living with a relative because his parents kicked him out. So he tells her (I think it was his aunt) some BS story why he got fired. Naturally she’s not happy and comes to talk to us. She finds out the real story, and then kicks him out.

#30

She kept falling asleep during training over successive days, even after being spoken to about it. Tried to use an alarmed emergency exit as a regular exit, twice, because it was closer than the normal way out past the security post.

Gone in a handful of days.

#31

Within the first week he loudly announced to a group of about 10 employees that he’d like to take the receptionist and bend her over her desk and f**k her hard.

Let’s just say the boss wasn’t 100% in-love with the dude’s ambitions.

#32

Punched a hole in a computer monitor because it was freezing

#33

Recording Secretary here. The job doesn’t *sound* demanding at first. Just go in to various City Hall meetings and then type up the summary.

I’ve met a grand total of four people who have lasted more than a month, including myself. I’ve seen a lot of fellow secretaries do stuff like set their tape recorders (this was before smart phone recordings were common) on fire but the crown has to be someone who walked in to a meeting then proceeded to whip out her phone during said meeting, chat with her friends on said phone (ignoring the Commission’s request for her to stop once), then get involved in a shouting match with a commission member over one of the items. I think it was because it was a zoning approval for a McDonalds and she hated the company and felt they should put a more ‘socially concientious’ business in the lot, but this was well over a decade ago so I don’t remember all the details.

She did not get a second job.

#34

I used to work at a hotel, worked there for over 15 years. But way back when, even when I was still a relative newbie, we had new hire. Within just a couple days she was telling all our guests about her hardships and was begging them for money.

Yeah she didn’t last very long. I cringed when I found out what she did, that had to be extremely trashy just to go up to customers and guests that you just met before and do that. There was no shame in her game. No self respect at all

Image credits: llcucf80

#35

We have a team of people that go around the country setting up essentially retail spaces, like the shelves you’d see at a cvs or 7-11 for our facilities. Anyway they hire a new guy, on his first outing he misses the flight, then when he finally gets to the location he gets a DUI in the company rental car. So yeah that was pretty much it for him

Image credits: Sprucing_guy

#36

Awhile back my supervisor was on the bus to work. Some random guy asked him if he wanted to go in on some m**h with him. My sup politely declined. It turns out that guy was from the temp agency, and it was his first day. He got sent home before he even started training.

Image credits: Panthean

#37

We all thought he’d shoot us all one day. He talked about guns a lot (he was like 16 years old). He would ask our 30-40 year old manager where he could buy a gun. He would also say women didn’t have rights. He was just one of those really weird kids. He also had a short temper, so everyone was scared that he would shoot up the movie theater we all worked at. One of our coworkers became his “friend” just in case he would play the “dont come to work” card. The coworker would show us messages of this kid trying to get him into cultist religious groups and showing off all the weapons he owned. It got worse over time. I barely remember all the details because it happened so long ago. When he did get fired, that’s when everyone really started getting scared because this kid started sending a whole bunch of money to all of the male coworkers. This kid was saying he was planning on doing something big and he had no use for living. We all thought he was gonna do something really bad, so police got involved. And he was fired. A week later, he was on the news threatening to k**l the police. Saying God commanded him to. 

Image credits: buffbbunny

#38

Worked in beer industry, hired a new warehouse kid and he came in wearing a competitors hat. GM told him No biggie it’s just beer here’s a new hat please don’t wear the competitors brand when you’re out in the market. 20 min later he had put his other hat back on while setting up a display with the GM. He was fired immediately.

#39

My kid got fired the first day. They have a 30 minute lunch break. He went home and it took longer than 30 minutes, so he showed up when he was done…like over an hour later.

He’s better now.

#40

Hired a guy in our IT department to work the night shift. He watched p**n and chatted with cam girls all night. Didn’t even try and hide it. He sat next to two other people one of which was female. She turned him in and we checked his history. Then he was history.

#41

He was making small talk with a young coworker and when he learned she wasn’t married, he acted extremely surprised, and told her “you really need to marry, and have lots of children”.

He also made an huge order for new office supplies for himself without getting approval from a manager.

#42

The company I was working for (company a) had a contract with another (company b) to provide labor. Company a was laid back/chill/artsy culture. Company b was corporate as can be.

We hired someone (Joe) and told them their first job would be this contract with company b. We also told Joe that company b drug tests so if you need to sit out or do some “on the job training” for a few days – aka detox – let us know. He said not a problem, went to company b job – took a drug test and failed.

“Oh yeah, I smoked some weed, but I thought it wouldn’t show up because it had been a few HOURS since”

#43

As it turns out, offering a**l sex to married men in exchange for weed doesn’t get you far at some car dealerships.

#44

Used to work for a private company that did a lot of work for the government. That’s all I’m saying about it.

This guy decided to post a blow by blow account of his 1st day on his Facebook page. Names of employees, government departments that we worked with, systems we used and what work we did. Even posted the fact that the 1st thing he had to do was sign an NDA.

His pass didn’t work the next morning so he got fired in the building reception instead.

#45

Make harassing phonecalls to his ex-wife who had a no-contact order on him during his lunch break from a company phone.  

#46

His first day was our Cinco de Mayo blow out extravaganza. He got stupid drunk and then began harassing women by sliding his hand between their thighs. When the female VP told him to quit it, he told her to f**k off. It was his first job out of college. His dad came with him the next day to beg them to forgive him but they did not. One could argue that the business was at fault for serving massive amounts of alcohol.

#47

Not quite right away, but pretty much…

On their first solo shift, a cashier walked next door to stand in line and order soup without telling anyone, and then proceeded to eat the soup at the registers.

To be clear, this was a small business. They were the only cashier at the moment, and the store was fairly busy.

#48

I used to work at an independent living facility for people with mental (and sometimes physical) disabilities. There was one home that was really more of a nursing home environment than an independent living one.

A new woman was hired, and she was sent to that house to work a double for her first shift. Idiotic move already, but anyway. She then got 12 hours off and worked an overnight shift. This was Saturday night into Sunday morning.

No one told her that on Sundays, the clients go to church, so they have to be up, clothed, and fed by about 8:30. Well, the manager showed up to make sure everyone was ready, and upon seeing they were all still in bed (because it was a weekend, and no one had said the clients were going anywhere that morning), she- the manager- absolutely flipped out at the new girl. I don’t know exactly what was said, but I do know the girl was crying by the end of it.

She wasn’t fired, per se, but as soon as she clocked out, she called our supervisor and quit right then and there. Personally, I don’t blame her.

#49

Barfed on the company president’s shoes at the Christmas party. The same day he got hired.

#50

Slept with the bosses daughter. His boss was his father.

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