Romantic relationships can be full of surprises, but not all of them are pleasant. Sometimes, it takes just a brief moment to learn the person you’re with is not the sharpest tool in the shed. For some, it’s a harmless realization — like discovering their partner has no idea how plumbing works. For others, it’s a much more sobering wake-up call, exposing reckless behavior and selfish tendencies.

These stories come from a couple of online discussions where people were asked the same blunt and provocative question: When did they first realize they were dating an idiot? However, while the prompt was identical, the answers, as you are about to see, were nothing alike.

#1

When they laughed when I said the sun was a star.

Image credits: anon

#2

She told me if I didn’t start smoking she’d break up with me. Glad that’s over!

Image credits: EchoesOfSilenceXO

#3

When I realized that they didn’t know the difference between there/their and argued with me about it for an hour. Shortest date ever.

Image credits: RockNRollMama

#4

The power went out and my wife asked if the toilet would work without electricity.

Image credits: anon

#5

She was mean to kids. I got out of there as fast as I could.

Image credits: stereospeakers

#6

My friend told me the fact, “your intestines can stretch around the world three times.” After he realized that was so wrong, we laughed about it and I told my boyfriend. Who didn’t laugh and said yes, that’s true.

Image credits: anon

#7

He put aluminum foil IN THE MICROWAVE. He tried to stop the fan with his hand instead of turning it off. He forgets to turn on the washer and wonders why his clothes aren’t washing.

Image credits: BeerSlu8gger

#8

I suggested we go to London for a day out (we live near Manchester) she said I can’t I haven’t got a passport.

Image credits: evil-kaweasel

#9

Had an ex who was 19 and was shocked unicorns weren’t real. Literally thought they were extinct

Image credits: bigtuna4811

#10

Talking about the Great Depression, man looked me in the eyes and said “I don’t believe in depression”

Image credits: lyfe.of.liz

#11

my ex asked me what 20% of the bill was so he could tip, but he wouldnt let me know the total so I could calculate it for him, and when I tried to tell him how to do it, he said “I dont wanna do MATH”

Image credits: s.k.bricker

#12

One of my exes told me that ducks can’t fly. When I said that was absurd, that in fact the ones where we lived migrate hundreds or thousands of miles southward every winter, she said that they do that by walking. My mind was blown, but I protested a little harder, and she then called her brother to put him on the line who also defended her assertion that ducks can’t fly, they walk south every year to avoid the winter.

I felt bad for them not just because they lacked this basic knowledge about the world, but also because clearly neither of them ever played Duck Hunt on NES.

Anytime since when I am outnumbered in an argument where I’m confident that I’m right, I remind myself that no matter how many people think ducks can’t fly, they can.

Image credits: Ryan-Petersen

#13

When he accused me of being a gold-digger because in the cafe I ordered the same coffee as him, without even looking at the menu properly. And I had no prior knowledge that the coffee was around 120 INR (1.8$ approx).

Had I stayed within INR 60, I would not have been a gold-digger, according to him. And ordering the same coffee as him made me one. Wow.

Image credits: Ankita-Sinha-167

#14

We went to the cinema to watch Traffic, which is partly set in Mexico. During one of the scenes , he leaned over and whispered ‘what language is that they are talking in? Is it Italian?’.

There wasn’t a second date.

Image credits: Regina-Phalange-575

#15

Mine happened last night, she (Jewish)called me anti-Semitic because I don’t believe Obama is secretly planting Muslims in white communities.

Incidentally, we broke up last night.

Image credits: banjobb

#16

I dated a girl who I was able to convince that, due to a weird chemical reaction, dead bodies can be reanimated with Worceshire sauce (a la an old South Park episode). She gave every indication of honestly being amazed by that.

Image credits: StansDad_aka_Lourde

#17

my bf thought slugs were just snails who didn’t foud the right house jet. He thought snails got their houses like hermit crabs

Image credits: L

#18

I actually had an ex that through dragons use to be real, and that were just extinct like the dinosaurs. She told me “there’s fossils and everything”

Image credits: ts_no_face

#19

I was briefly dating a complete idiot. Not in the way that he had never read a book, or something like that, but just that he lacked common sense.

I’ll prove it:

He stuck his hand down my pants. I told him I wasn’t ready. He retracted his hand. About half an hour later, he stuck his hand down my pants again. I told him I wasn’t ready. He asked why, and I said I suffered from PTSD (in retrospect, incorrect, but that’s what I thought). He nodded and retracted his hand. About an hour later, he stuck his hand down my pants again. I asked him if he understood what I’d said earlier, and he admitted he hadn’t. I told him that I’d experienced sexual assault, and had lasting traumas, which meant I just wasn’t ready to have sex with him. He nodded and retracted his hand.

An hour later, he told me he didn’t need my permission for him to have sex with me.

Image credits: Hope-Switon

#20

This is a story a friend of mine tells. Early in their marriage, they’re putting away groceries after a shopping trip. He notices his young bride opening jars, closing them, and then putting them in the refrigerator.

Him: “Honey, what are you doing?”

Her: “What do you mean? Haven’t you read the label?”

Him: “The label?”

Her: “It says, ‘refrigerate after opening.’”

They’ve been married 60 years.

Image credits: Anonymous

#21

I was dating this girl for about 2 months and one day I was just checking her instagram (she was by my side) and saw something about Justin Bieber.

This was the following conversation between the two of us:

me – do you like Justin Bieber?

her – yeah, he is cute blablabla, and you? I suppose you don’t.

me – Well, he is really successeful, he has a really nice life and he has money to provide for himself and his family if needed.

her – yeah, he is the richest guy in the world.

(at this point I thought she was kidding)

me – LOL, you’re kidding right?

her – NO, HE IS. He has a lot of money and I’m sure he is the richest man in the world.

At this point I didn’t know what to do, I was just like “what the hell? seriously? Do you really think that?”

I went to forbes and showed her who the richest man in the world was and, as you might know, Justin Bieber is not even close to be richer than Bill Gates, not even close to be close.

We broke up a few days later.

Image credits: James-Gal-1

#22

It was our first date. We were walking back to my place after dinner. He stopped, kissed me and said, “I think women are superior to men.” I said, “Oh? Why is that?” He said, “because they have the wound.” It took me a few seconds of mouth breathing and staring to realize that he meant “womb”. I veered in the opposite direction of my apartment, unconsciously wiping my mouth of any potential idiocy DNA. Wow.

Image credits: Jane-Blade

#23

On a Sunday drive on a narrow, curvy, mountain road, we passed a roadside memorial of three crosses, which, in the South, usually means three people died there in an automobile wreck. The shoulder of the road was almost non-existent, as the road was curving around the base of a small cliff. She, “That’s dangerous, They shouldn’t allow that.” Me, “What?” She, “Burying people that close to the road”. True story, unfortunately.

Image credits: Leland-Williams-5

#24

Keep in mind my BF is studying engineering and I am studying law (maths is his strong point, English is mine, hence his question).

Him: Hayley, how do you spell Mosewell?

Me: …How do you spell what?

Him: Mosewell.

Me: I don’t know what that means.

Him: You know, I mosewell do this.

Me: You mean ‘May as well’?

Him: Yeah, mosewell.

Me: *Facepalm*

It took a long time for that conversation to end. He still says it. I laugh every time.

Image credits: /Hayley-Fox-7

#25

When she cheated.

Image credits: anon

#26

When I was in high school, I was dating a girl two years younger than me. She asked me if frogs were female and toads were male. I chuckled. I was in the dog house for a month after that. Also asked me why I cracked eggs open. Doesn’t that hurt the baby chickens?! Babe, these aren’t fertilized eggs. You buy these from the store to eat. No babe, every single egg does not have a baby chick inside. How can you eat cows? They give milk and cheese?! Babe, we aren’t eating dairy cows. How can you eat pigs?! They are smart. Babe, yes you are right. They are a fairly intelligent animal. But I saw you eat bacon 2 hours ago. Bacon comes from pigs?!?!?! Oh my god!!!!!

She was adorable but was wildly misinformed about the food she eats haha. I love that girl haha.

#27

When we were at a craft fair, there were some hand knitted gloves that had the price on both left and right, so my boyfriend thought that they were sold separately and tried to pay double the price to “get both of them”.

#28

I briefly dated a girl in HS who thought Texas was it’s own country and not part of the US. she also thought Mexico was part of the US.

#29

One day I was going to the grocery store, and she asked me to get some toilet paper.

“But don’t get those big rolls.”

“Why not? They last longer.”

“No, they really don’t. They’re just more expensive.”

“Yes, they really do. That’s why they advertise that one mega roll equals 2 or 3 or 4 regular rolls.”

“It’s not like there are more little squares on the roll.” ← And there it is.

“Yes, it’s exactly like that. That’s exactly what a giant or mega roll is.”

“Well…”

Of course, at this point we’d already been married 20 years, so…

#30

When we had this conversation :

me : I’m writing a book.

him : Really? Sounds fun. What’s it about?

me : Well, romance. The usual boy met girl with some twist. Anyway, do you think I should have a pen name?

him : why would you name your pen?

me : …

#31

When I was a uni student I was dating this guy who I found to be very, very attractive. We were casually dating and we had a few mutual friends we had been hanging out for at least a few weeks getting to know each other.

One day he asked me if I believed in hell.

I answered that no I didn’t believe in hell.

He then looked at me sceptically and then said. “But you believe in heaven right?”.

I guessed that maybe he thought I was trying to take the best without the worst.

He then went on to explain to me that there was a hole in the earth somewhere in South America and that it went so deep in the ground that you could hear the screams of hell coming out of it. The look on his face I could genuinely see that he believed that there were Devils and suffering people in the ground and that he could hear them screaming as evidence of hell.

I started to try to explain to him that the sound was wind or air pressure coming from deep in the earth and that it sounds like screaming but is actually a natural phenomenon.

I don’t believe that all theists are idiots but his grasp of science and reasoning was way too far off for me to consider him seriously after that.

Also he was very concerned about going to hell and was a bit dodgy and that made me suss.

That and he is an idiot.

#32

I dated a total and complete idiot in 2011. The list is endless. But this one stands out: We were discussing supernovas, Betelgeuse going supernova, the sun….and then he says, “You know what terrifies me? The moon. It could explode at any time! It looks so innocent but I can see it causing problems…”

Okay, okay the novel Seveneves explores this. But he had not read it and it is very very unlikely the moon is just going to go bye bye one day in a blaze of glory.

#33

Well, the moment my partner realized she was dating an idiot (ME) was when we were watching Noah, and the animals were boarding the ark.

I looked at her said, “How is he going to save all the fish?!?!”

Her response was priceless and I instantly understood how idiotic I was.

That is just one instance of MANY, MANY examples of my idiocy, but thankfully, my partner sticks around and we can laugh about how stupid I am some times.

#34

We are divorced now but he believes that ‘irregardless’ is a word. He also thinks ‘couth’ is a word. As if ‘couth’ would be the opposite of ‘uncouth’.

#35

He didn’t know Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel, thats like common knowledge right??

#36

My 2nd date with the guy and we went for a meal at the local Indian. He gestured to his spoon and was like ‘what’s this’

He didn’t know what what a chickpea was.

He had other issues aside from this but yeah. Wow.

#37

Well not someone I was dating, but someone I matched on tinder with. I told him I liked thermodynamics and fluid mechanics and he responded with “I LIKE THOSE TOO!” followed by “LIKE HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT MAKES FIRE HOT AND ICE COLD? LIKE PEOPLE SHOULD REALLY BE LOOKING INTO THAT” i was not sure if he was being sarcastic, but I took it as such.

#38

my ex, who was in her early 20’s, thought that cars were propelled by the exhaust, which would be some kind of turbine

#39

This is more of a “The moment I realized my sister was dating an idiot”.

We used to own a motel where I would work during school breaks along with my sisters boyfriend.

Funny, kind, a bit slow, but often confused for a potato because of his tendency to not reply in conversations as if he didn’t hear a thing.

We were working at the reception for a midnight shift and we were just talking about everything involving cheddar cheese, movies, and tsunami’s (that particular year we had many tsunami warnings) until we eventually fell into a comfortable silence.

Eventually, he randomly says out of nowhere “I couldn’t imagine why guys would have their d*cks cut off when they get surgery to become a woman, like imagine when they cut it bro, phaw!” he made ninja slicing sound effects.

Okay, this is so random.

“I wouldn’t do it you know.” he said.

#40

Some great instances

This has happened twice

Her – why do you like teenage girl’s pictures on face book? Why do you even have them as your friends? You are a high school teacher. Are you a p***phile?

Me – the young twin girls? The ones with the same last name as me and who call the same guy ‘dad’ in those pics? Yeah they are my sisters.

On a wall post, one of my sisters asked ‘when you coming over for dad’s birthday?’, got the same response again.

Another great time was

Her – why do you always talk to girls? You are always texting them and talking to them

Me – (when I was running a pt business) umm they are my clients, and that last one is 60 years old

Her – I just don’t like it. You could be cheating on me

Me – oh I see, so when you go see your ex boyfriend for coffee 1–2 times a week, that’s ok? (I didn’t care)

When I was bouncing while studying at university

Her – I saw you flirting with that girl! She was all over you. You are such a cheating a**hole (makes a scene)

Me – the brunette? The one I was carrying out? Yeah she vomited on me.

I always attract the psycho insecure ones.

#41

When he told me what his mom told him:
“Don’t date a girl from a wealthy family because by the time of breaking up, her family will be angry at you. But try to marry a girl from wealthy family and once you have her pregnant, she won’t leave you anymore.”
And he insisted that I was rich even if I said hundreds of times my parents were of middle class but it did not mean my parents’ money were mine.
I mean my explanation does not really touch the roots of problem. Then I told him that at any time, and under any situation, a woman can break up a relationship if this is her choice. But he was not really listening to what I was saying and kept telling me his other ridiculous ideas, such as “a good girl should not have sex before marriage, should not get piercing, tattoos…” etc.
Then I broke up with him a couple days later. Today I still think he is sexist but he does not know what sexism means and insists he respects and knows how to take care of women.

#42

We went to the grocery store and they had a sale on mayo. I bought 2 jars. When we got home I stuck both of them into the refrigerator because why not. Hours later he comes storming into the livingroom holding both jars…….lids off…livid. “Why did you put these into the refrigerator? Can’t you read that it says ‘refrigerate after opening’? I had to open both of them, dummy!”

Yeah.

#43

I took a career break and went backpacking around the world for a year with my then girlfriend. Well, that was the plan, but we lasted only 9 months. Here’s just one of the thousands of red flags which finally made us fail “the test for marriage”.

We were comparing wildlife photos with fellow travellers in Africa and one showed us some close-ups of meerkats.

“ooh, meerkats!” I said. My ex laughed a very loud, scornful laugh, catching the attention of everyone in the cafe, and said to me “is that really what you think they’re called?!”.

After a very awkward silence, it became clear she thought they were called “meekrats” (which took a few attempts for quora’s autocorrect function to accept).

Now I need to assure everyone that i’m NOT disparaging dyslexic people here (nor is it certain she is dyslexic – she was a high school English teacher at that time). Rather, I’m disparaging people who are so sure of themselves that they’ll sneer at others’ “stupidity” before questioning their own certainties. It’s attitude, not the lack of specific knowledge, which makes someone an idiot, and I know I really dodged a bullet back then!

#44

I dated a girl in High School. I would literally help or do her homework because she was like, “I’m going to junior college anyways, so I’m not going to try.” She was failing all of her classes and acted and portrayed the typical “blonde” mentality.

We had a discussion that went like this.

Her: This class is so hard.

Me: Its not that hard if you put some work in it. You’re literally doing nothing.

Her: The only reason, I’m not doing well in the class is because I’m not cheating.

Me: *speechless*

#45

This was when I was younger.

I was on the phone with my boyfriend and I was rambling on about different ideas on how humans were made, why humans exist, and how sexes came to be a thing. Then I started talking about random facts I knew. I mentioned that 1 in 6 people have an extra rib.

Then, he literally said:

“Well, God did take a rib from a guy and make a girl from it. Girls have an extra rib.”

Well, he was obviously Christian… and I wasn’t, so it sounded pretty stupid to me. I also knew that more females existed in the world than males due to nature’s tendency to make sure the “life givers” of the population don’t die out, so I was like “Wait… if 1 in 6 people have an extra rib and if that’s really true… then wouldn’t there be more males then females?”

I broke up with him a couple weeks later, but due to his compulsive lying and inability to understand how important imaginary characters can be (the story is complicated) and not his strong belief in his religion.

#46

I was texting her one night and she was super upset with me that I wouldnt take the time out of my night to call her. I had a huge physics test I had to study for the next day. And then it happened: she texted me “what are you gay?”. Well, clearly not I’m dating you, with that and everything that led up to that message I finally realized that I had been the idiot all along and that this girl really didn’t care about me at all. I broke up with her the next day after almost a year and I have no regrets. I still think about her from time to time, but I know that it was the best decision for both of us.

#47

He was already incurring red flags an hour before he dropped the worst thing he could have ever mentioned. When I said I needed to get home since I have to wake up early for work the next morning, he said

“You no longer have parents. No one will get mad at you.”

I was stupefied for a second but managed to reply

“All the more reason I have to discipline myself.”

I could not believe he used that sensitive information against me. My parents separated when I was 3, no idea where Father is, and Mom died a year ago during that time. How could he say such a thing? I felt disrespected. At that moment, I knew I was dating an idiot. I don’t care if you make five times what I do, you don’t get to do that to the memory of my parents. He was an idiot.

#48

Many years ago, I dated a woman who was incredibly sweet, fun, and gorgeous. The problem was, she was dumb as dirt. So I had many conversations with myself about how important intelligence was in the context of a relationship. Turns out, it matters. I think folks are happiest when they are close to the same range of intellect.

Anyway, the moment I found out I was really dating an idiot, was one day walking through the mall. We were following behind a Hispanic family made up of a mother, father and two young children. One child was a girl of maybe 3 or 4. She was holding hands with her mother. The little girl was engaged in a conversation with her mother, speaking pretty loudly and we could hear it pretty well. My girlfriend looked at me in total amazement and said “Wow, she already speaks Spanish!” I knew at that moment, this relationship had to end.

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