Pssst, Pandas, over here. Come closer. Did anyone follow you? Are you sure? All right, we’ve got a secret to share with you… everyone has secrets. And be careful of the ones that pretend they don’t because they’re incredible liars. Either that or they’re literal saints.
Some of the things that we keep from others might be trivial (I took the last chocolate cupcake from the office kitchen), but others… well, they’re dark, dreary, and reveal some of the worst aspects of humankind. Make no mistake, some of these have the potential to break apart families and relationships. Meanwhile, revealing other secrets might put their keepers in danger.
Scroll down for the biggest secrets that people are currently keeping, as shared by the folks over on r/AskReddit in these two viral threads. Upvote the posts that you think everyone else should read. And when you’re done, why not get it all off your chest and reveal your own secrets in the comments? We promise we won’t tell anyone.
Bored Panda got in touch with dating expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man, to have a chat about secrecy, privacy, and trust in relationships. Read on for his excellent insights.
#1
I am an Atheist in Saudi Arabia and no one knows.
Image credits: iHmajed
#2
i let my cousin win when I play smash bros with her and she always gets really happy when she wins.
lately, she’s been letting me win instead and I love seeing her smile when I win.
Image credits: anon
#3
My buddy and his wife are expecting their second kid. He got really drunk one night and told me the news with the biggest smile on his face. I’m the only one who knows right now. My happy, wholesome little secret.
Image credits: whiskeyteacup
#4
My coworker is going to re-propose to his wife next month on vacation with a new ring and then (re)marry her on the beach. He’s a total hardass, non-emotional type, but he was so giddy when he told me. She doesn’t know, of course.
Image credits: nobutternoparm
#5
I’m in a grad program. I’m pretty close with three people in my cohort. One of the guys in our little group has been acting weird this semester. I got him to tell me what’s wrong.
He told me he has cancer and will most likely die within a year. He asked me not to tell anyone. The other two friends in my group just think he’s going on medical leave and will be returning. They think it’s because he’s depressed since he didn’t specify exactly what was wrong. They have no idea that they may never see him again.
I want to tell them, but he asked me not to… I feel awful about it.
Image credits: Abisoccer1
#6
My daughter’s pet Beta Fish, Pinky, is not the original Pinky. In fact, this is Pinky #9.
Image credits: letmebeyoursalad
#7
I really do care about it that much but I’m 29 and still a virgin.
I was raised super religious so dating was out of question. I started losing my faith when I was 23 ( another secret.) I feel like I’m so far behind when it come to dating that I never really found the courage to even ask anyone out.
Image credits: ch2-ch3
#8
That the scars on my arm are from my cat. I can’t believe that my parents bought the idea that the five parallel white scars are from my cat.
Image credits: Rocket-Tree
#9
I’ve relapsed with my anorexia.
I ate 626 calories today and burned 394.
I’m going to see a doctor tomorrow because I’ve convinced everyone I’m tired, bruising easily, and having joint pain because I might have Lyme again, but deep inside I know it is probably my body struggling to stay alive. Doctors told me if I relapsed as bad as I was, my body probably wouldn’t be able to handle it again. I have a resting heartrate in the low 50s currently, and it my heartrate drops as low as 40 randomly during the day. I feel like I’m going to pass out nearly every time I stand up. Burning off those calories tonight, I was literally doubled over, gasping for air, hands on my knees trying to not fall as the ground seemed to keep rushing up to my face, covered in growing black spots.
I know I’ve relapsed. I know this could kill me. But it’s not enough for me to overcome the messed up part of my brain that says “at least you’ll die thinner.”
Image credits: paradoxicly
#10
My parents don’t know I’m gay. If they found out I’d end up homeless.
Image credits: theBluebird64
#11
That I still get cravings for methamphetamine occasionally and have to fight them or else have a relapse.
Currently finishing up my thesis in electrical engineering Masters, so it would be REALLY inconvenient to become a meth-head again.
Image credits: Saturn_is_a_Lemon
#12
My boyfriend has no idea how expensive his Christmas present was. He loved the experience so much and it made me so happy to do it with him, but coming from a wealthy family even if he knew he wouldn’t understand how much it was for me. I saved all my extra income for 5 months to be able to pay for it and get normal presents for my family, but I know he wouldn’t even blink about spending that much on me on just a whim. I am glad he appreciated it even if he doesn’t know what effort went towards it!
Image credits: qrowess
#13
My family doesn’t know I walked out of my job nearly four weeks ago. I had two solid interviews that fell through afterwards and I’m still looking. I think I’ll get a call back after the job interview I had today. I’m too embarrassed to tell them because I don’t want anymore financial help from them. I’m late on rent and broke. The last time I went to my mom’s house I stole a couple rolls of toilet paper…
Image credits: ewanmcgregorisgod
#14
My buddy is planning on leaving his wife, mostly because he found out that his kid isn’t actually his, and he suspects the one she’s pregnant with isn’t either.
Image credits: warboy3
#15
I haven’t let a photo of myself be taken in years because I gained a bunch of weight. So people that haven’t seen me in years still think I’m thin. I’ve actually lost 23 pounds and I can’t be excited and tell anyone I haven’t seen in a long time because then they’ll know I was fat.
Image credits: nondescript_human_01
#16
That, even though I’m still quite young, I’ve been in two pretty abusive relationships. I love my current boyfriend more than words can describe and I’m so lucky to have him but I sometimes catch myself falling back into old habits when I’m around him (apologizing way too much for even the smallest things, frequently asking if he’s okay, not eating properly for days because I have phases in which I just feel ugly, flinching when he touches me unexpectedly etc.). I will tell him eventually because he deserves to know but I’m just not ready yet and I want to work on myself first so I’m not too much of a burden to him.
Image credits: CichaelMlifford
#17
I haven’t been able to feel genuine happiness for about half a year now, only stress, sadness and anger. It’s driving me crazy.
Image credits: JustAnotherN0Name
#18
I have a bad case of intrusive thoughts.
Image credits: AlphaGirl404
#19
I’m soon to be homeless.
Image credits: RonenJon
#20
I’m trans & I’m starting HRT on Jan 2.
No one knows this yet but my husband & 3 of my close friends.
My family is near 100% unlikely to be cool about this and I was looking forward to having one last birthday/Christmas with them where they didn’t know/reject me yet, but I got a virus on my birthday and now I’m way too sick to get on a plane.
So essentially my last Christmas with a family that loves me got straight up cancelled. I’m super bummed, but way too sick & tired to have a nervous breakdown about it, so I’ve got that going for me at least.
Image credits: hybridHelix
#21
I suspect that my conversations with a friend is being sent to my ex, who is trying to bring me down, and I’ve started to spread false information to that “friend“ to truly see if my text messages is being leaked
Image credits: Bobrasaka
#22
My high school best friend was gay, and sleeping with a man that was 15 years older, had a wife and four kids, and was in the leadership of the local church for most of high school and awhile after.
Image credits: firewalker9643
#23
I just graduated from college and now I’m really depressed. I’m supposed to be looking for a job right now but all I want to do is sleep.
Image credits: 122784
#24
My wife and I have been very rocky lately. We are trying to recover from a separation.
Anyway, she told me a few weeks ago about a story where when her Grandfather passed, her Grandmother took the grandkids on a vacation to Disney world. My wife bought a watch with Mickey on it and even showed me what it looked like online.
My wife was very close with her Grandfather and connected the watch with him.
My wife had a Strawberry Shortcake jewlery box she kept the watch in. And one day she forgot to put I back, and the watch was lost. She never found it.
Well I found the watch online and a wooden jewlery box. I had the box engraved with a picture of Strawberry Shortcake and a saying from her Grandfather. And inside is the watch.
Literally, 30-something years later she gets the watch back. I truly hope she loves it.
Edit: For clarification purposes, my wife and I are both females and we live in USA.
I wanted to thank every single person who commented on this post and glorified me with internet karma! I am trying to be patient and not give her the gift, but I have been holding on to it for at least 3 weeks now. The one bonus of having an apartment from the separation is a prime place to hide presents! I will definitely give an update after she opens it.
Also, bonus to the story: My wife truly believes and supports local businesses, so I made it a point to try and find local places for as many of the parts and pieces as I could for this gift. I went to the local Irish store and told the woman I am looking for a jewelry box to hopefully hold a watch. The lady told me about how she recently received some small wooden boxes from another store that closed. She thought she was getting 5 little boxes, but she receives 5 palettes of little boxes. The shop owner told me “I was blessed with the boxes and now you are blessed, too” and she gave it to me for free. I can’t wait to tell that part of the story, too!
Image credits: silly_skirt
#25
Rachel and Mark are hooking up and nobody else in the department knows except me.
Edit: This isn’t a reference to a television show.
Image credits: throwawayd4326
#26
That I was a kleptomaniac. Sometimes I still feel the urge to steal something but now I can stop myself.
Image credits: ctgrell
#27
I don’t feel an emotional connection to any of my friends or family.
Image credits: Heroshade
#28
I’ve found out my sister has had a baby and not told anyone in my family, she doesn’t know I found out.
Image credits: The_Don23
#29
My girlfriend of three years just broke up with me right after Thanksgiving. My parents expected her to come visit for the holidays but I told them that she is spending Christmas with her family this year.
Image credits: Edgar_Allen_Swol
#30
That despite being really really happy and satisfied in my current relationship, I still have feelings for my ex. The worst part is that my current GF is really awesome and I love spending time with her but I’m scared that my feelings for my ex are keeping me from fully committing.
Image credits: PartyPo1s0n
#31
That I’m in love with my best friend.
Image credits: TheGlorious1203
#32
That I’ve been hallucinating, I don’t really know why I’ve talked to some people over the internet about it and they said it could be because of my anti-depressants but it started before I started taking it. If it is my meds I don’t want to be taken off of them since hallucinations are a sign of overdose. I have an IEP in school and will be starting college soon something that my family is worried about the idea of me going to college. The hallucinations are getting worse and I’m afraid that if I tell a therapist they’ll tell my family. It’s one of my biggest fears is losing touch with reality. The reason I take a high dose of antidepressants is that my depression was getting worse and the doctor recommended it. I just want to go back to normal.
Image credits: Anonymous_personss
#33
I have an chronic illness and I’m making myself worse by staying in the workforce. It will not get better. But I get so much of my identity from my career that I just can’t leave it yet. I have a lot of self judgment, which I would hold against absolutely no one else.
Image credits: osteomiss
#34
I joke a lot to family and friends but I’m genuinely worried about my alcohol consumption. I want to say I’m in like a pre-alcoholic state. I’m in the Military but I enjoyed drinking even before I joined. I drink on average either 10-15 beers or 3-4 glasses of straight fireball (which is about 3/4 of a liter). And that is every single day. 7 days a week. Before the night starts to come I’m always wondering if I have enough alcohol and plan accordingly. I do everything I need to do in my job and personal life (Girlfriend, Family, ETC). But, I like drinking more than I have a desire to stop. And I’m not sure where that’s going to lead me.
Image credits: MUURPHH
#35
I actually look halfway decent/am pretty fit for a guy who’s 40. Years of being a fat kid/fat 20something still has me stuck on the self-image that I’m still a fatty. I’ve had people wonder dumbfounded at how I’m still single. It’s because in truth I have all the confidence and game of a little fat boy when it comes to any situation where I might be into someone, in a flirty situation, that kind of thing. I have no problem talking to anyone unless it’s someone I don’t know that I start to admire from a distance. Then suddenly if they try speaking to me I’m just like “…………..”
Image credits: GayCommentsOnReddit
#36
Two years ago on Christmas Eve my mom & aunt got in a fist fight. An hour later my mom was still crying & unloading everything on her mind. She told me she was raped when she was 15. Literally had no idea what to say, just let her speak. Have not talked to anyone about this, but I think about it every day. My heart just hurts for her that she had to go through that.
Edit: Just to clear up some questions, no my mom wasn’t drinking. She doesn’t drink. I only mentioned that her & my aunt got into a fist fight because that’s what triggered her emotions being so high and ultimately what led to her venting to me about and telling me she was raped.
Several months ago when I was home visiting family, she casually dropped that she had to go to therapy and would be back in an hour. Again we don’t really talk about it, but I was happy she was seeing someone professionally.
Image credits: anon
#37
I won a $10,000 scholarship to pay back school loans. I was told i was the top pick over hundreds of students.
But Bc i don’t deal well with direct praise, my family doesn’t and won’t know.
Image credits: phonendatoilet
#38
My best friend and I was falling in love. He had a brain tumor and he got surgery done but there was a low survival rate. I haven’t told anyone about this, and a lot of people didnt even know of him. (He lived out of state but was my neighbor’s cousin)
Image credits: StonedAndAlone_
#39
I really really like my best friend. She’s just got out of a long term mentally abusive relationship. Now’s not exactly the right time to say.
Image credits: Captain_Cone
#40
My grades have dropped dramatically since I went to college. Used to be an A student and now I’m barely getting C’s in a lot of classes. I’m too ashamed to tell my parents. Also I keep thinking I should just drop out and give up on it altogether
Image credits: wowthatisabop
#41
I want to go see the therapist at my college for possible social anxiety, but I’m a minor for another six months. I need parental permission and can’t bring myself to ask my parents. They’ll most likely say yes, but my mom is so stressed with taking care of my two sick family members that I don’t want to put another weight on her
Image credits: mashedpotatoed
#42
I had feelings for a man that was a year older than my dad.
Image credits: honeychickennugget
#43
I know I have to go back to college to get a better job so I can get a higher pay, but I’m so unmotivated to go back and do what I have to do. I’ve been wanting to explain that to my family and friends for so long, but I don’t know how to do that without them just brushing it off by saying I’m just being lazy.
Image credits: kim0419ify
#44
I know a couple that broke up about a year ago. They still are friends though and work together and I’m not supposed to tell anyone they broke up. After this long I wonder if it’s just a long, elaborate test of my loyalty
*guys the test part was a joke. They’re not evil humans lol, just private
Image credits: DaughterEarth
#45
I told my best friend, who knows I’m in love with him, that I’m moving on and trying to find someone else. But really I don’t know if I’ll ever actually move on, I just don’t want him to feel bad.
Image credits: actuallywaffles
#46
I’m [sleeping with] my coworker.
Image credits: stuck-in-dc
#47
I have a boyfriend in another city. My family thinks that he’s just a best friend of mine. We have been together for years now. Sadly I see him only a few times a year since I’m still only a teen and my parents don’t know about our relationship. It’s overwhelming at times and I feel quite upset we can’t spend time with each other much, but it’ll hopefully change soon when I have more power to do things I want!
Image credits: pyramidnose
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