Unlike family, which can be a toss-up, we tend to have the luxury to pick and choose who we become friends with. This is part of the reason some people even end up being a lot closer to their friends than their actual families. But sometimes even a “friend” might end up doing something that you can’t really come back from.

Someone asked “What was the worst thing your friend did that completely ruined your friendship?” and netizens shared their stories. We got in touch with therapist Yolanda Renteria to learn more. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to write your own thoughts and experiences in the comments section below.

#1

She invited the guy who cheated on me with the girl he is cheating with to have dinner at her house.

Image credits: matcha-eclair

#2

After a breakup, she went to a church that recruits. One Sunday she texted me about the good news and then tried to save me from homosexuality and then degraded my beliefs.

Image credits: occultexplorer

#3

I always put the effort in, making conversation and trying to make plans. A lot of time I saw they had read my messages but it was hours or even days before a reply. So one day I decided to stop and wait to see how long it took for them to message me first… Happened about two weeks later to ask me for lift to work. I said my car was in for service (it wasn't) and nothing ever since.

Image credits: anon

Bored Panda got in touch with therapist Yolanda Renteria and she was kind enough to share some of her thoughts on this topic. Firstly, we wanted to hear what red flags she would recommend people look out for in their friend group.

“People who are highly critical, who put you down, who don’t recognize your efforts, and who aren’t there when you need them. Your friend group should be a place where you feel inspired, energized, and uplifted,” she shared.

#4

I was going through hell and for 6 months she never asked how I was. When I tried to talk to her about it and how hurt I was she made it about her.

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#5

Friend of 20 years. Lived together for almost a decade. Lied about Everything for Years. Found out one night when her boyfriend told me I was the problem in their relationship. I asked what he meant. We went down the rabbit hole. She had been lying to me about him and lying to him about me. She lied about things that happened with our families, her exes, our other friends, my pets. It was like pulling a thread on a sweater, and boy did it unravel. Some of the things she lied about were weird and trivial but others were horribly manipulative and cruel.

Image credits: abcde9090

#6

Stole from me… on my birthday. I put all the money people gifted me on that day in 1 place. He visited me, gifted me a single candy, grabbed all the money that were there and quietly walked away thinking i would not notice.

Image credits: Drogovich

We wanted to know why boundaries are a vital part of any relationship and why some folks struggle to keep them. “Boundaries are important because they help your friends know how you want to be treated in relationships, what you like and don’t like, what you will accept and won’t accept. They are like a guide for your friend group of what you expect in friendships.”

#7

I was 12 and eating lunch at school. Not popular at all but I managed. Saw my only close friend having to eat on his own because our table was full so got up to join him and sit with him. He simply stood up and sat in the seat I had just left.

I lost contact with him, but I will never forget feeling so shot down in my entire life, it changed the way I interact with people for the worse.

Image credits: Kitkatglamour

#8

They showed contempt towards a beloved hobby of mine, even though they knew how much it means to me. That was a very clear indicator we were drifting apart.

Image credits: CathTheWise

#9

Found out they were telling friends and family that I didn't attend their wedding because I got fat and was too embarrassed to come. In reality, it was during covid and they were open about the fact that their family were anti vax and anti mask. Considering I'd be traveling 5 hours by plane from a big city, I didn't want to be blamed if their rural wedding became a superspreader event.

Image credits: ChodieFlopster

“People who struggle setting boundaries with friends typically struggle setting boundaries in all of their relationships. Difficulty setting boundaries typically comes from two places – 1) being afraid of upsetting others or losing friendships 2) feeling unworthy of healthy treatment. Both tend to come from childhood wounds,” she shared with Bored Panda.

#10

Made a pass at my wife. Chinned him and haven’t spoke to him in almost 3 years.

Image credits: string1986

#11

I had a whole friend group that hated me (I didn’t know that obviously). One year for my birthday, they all said they were coming to my party. I kept getting texts individually saying things like “on my way” and ” be there soon”.
But in reality, they all met up with eachother and were making fun of me the whole time. They also texted others that the party was canceled or just not to show up and to hang with them instead.

Image credits: bvstvrdChild

#12

My entire friendship group aside from one person, decided that I was a great target for bullying after I got diagnosed with major depression.

Image credits: crazyhotorcrazynhot

“Healthy boundaries are the only way for people to have healthy relationships with their friends. Yes, some friends might make fun or dismiss your boundaries, but that is a sign for you of the health of the friendship. At the very least, you friends should be open to listening to what’s important to you.” you can find more of her work on her website and Instagram.

#13

Invited our friends over to pack my things while I was in hospital and then tried to steal my child because they were convinced my baby was theirs.

Image credits: bvstvrdChild

#14

At his birthday party after blowing out his candles with his family and friends around, he wished I didn’t come.

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#15

We had a mutual friend who was transgender and not out (he had transitioned but fully passed as a man and didn’t advertise the fact he wasn’t born male). The two of them got into some really stupid fight and for some reason my friend got so mad they decided to out him. They went back in his mom’s private facebook to find pictures of him pre-transition and posted them online with his birth name and a whole transphobic rant. They had always been supportive so it was completely out of left field. We lived in a small town where word spread quickly and most people were NOT accepting to trans people, so it really affected him.

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#16

Embezzled thousands of dollars out of my bank account. I guess between that and the felony charges I made against him doomed the friendship forever.

Image credits: Writer_feetlover

#17

She would regularly lie and manipulate me. Told me that the guy I was in love with, liked me back, which was not the case. She ended up dating him. Needless to say I cut the contact as soon as I could.

They dated for about four years. When I learned they broke up, I almost bought a bottle of champagne.

Image credits: ExtremeMeasurement

#18

I named my son’s middle name his last name and then went on vacation to New Orleans with him and the mother of my child, only to walk in on them sleeping together in the hotel..turns out they had been sexting each other for over 6 months and planned the whole thing, thinking I was going to be too drunk to notice. Mind you I considered him more of a brother than my own brothers for over 14 years. Needless to say I got my son’s middle name legally changed after that.

#19

I had a friend who, at a gathering of friends and family, became upset with the jokes they were playing. Provocations from comrades, no big deal. However, he pulled out a gun and pointed it at the house owner’s head in front of everyone. The next day he came to apologize, blaming the drink. He was a police officer at the time. It was a red line he crossed with all of us.

#20

She hopped on the trump train, and kept trying to punk all her friends into these petty political arguments

In person she’ll be nice to your face, but on Facebook she goes 0-60 in calling all of us pro-abortion, baby killers. I don’t know why she does this because she has no friends anymore as a result.

#21

Lent him $10k over time.

Promised to pay me back. Been 3 years and everytime I asked for money back. He makes excuses like ‘fine I won’t eat’ or ‘guess I can’t pay for my mortgage’ or ‘you’re ruining my mental health asking for your money back’…. Hard lesson learnt.

Image credits: Daddyslilcumdump_

#22

We were close. Did everything together, even when I got pregnant. Then I had my son, she never came and met him. Thought oh maybe she’s busy.

6 weeks later ran into her at the mall, I had my son with me. She talked to me for about 5 minutes and didn’t even acknowledge my son. I knew then and there we were done. Haven’t spoken since.

Image credits: Alternative-Fun9365

#23

Decided 5 seconds before my wedding ceremony that she no longer wanted to be my maid of honor or even in the wedding after an argument with a couple of my other bridesmaids. She was the only one not ready, and threw a fit about the cupcakes being displayed weird, so a couple of the other girls were like “okay go fix it then” and she slammed the door and threw a whole temper tantrum in front of my husband and his groomsmen where they were hanging out before the ceremony began. It was wild and we haven’t spoken since. We went to high school together and texted and hung out regularly too, so it was pretty sad throwing away a friendship over something that silly.

Image credits: Meatloafisdisgusting

#24

Ex-best friend was trying to help me through a rough and sudden break-up with my girlfriend of 3 years. A few weeks later he sends me a picture of her laying on his chest with the explanation of “everyone thought we were getting together so we just decided to “. Started to put a lot of things in perspective for me.

#25

Publicly announcing my medical diagnosis in front of my friends and telling them that I brought it to myself for being careless (A lie ). Enemies now and it is better this way.

#26

We were good friends from highschool, went to the same university and basically kept in touch for over 20 years. During covid, she – this high IQ, really smart individual went off tangent to seek the “alternative truth”. In the alumni whatsapp group, one of our friends were dying of covid. He literally said goodbye to everyone as he will be intubated and not sure if he will wake up again. Soon after she commented, this happened because he was vaccinated. All he needed was sunlight and vitamin c. Hot damn. Everyone just dropped her like hot potato. Miraculously, he survived. .

#27

She asked my boyfriend (that she thought I just broke up with days ago, but it was a fight) to meet her for a drink.

What’s worse, I called her that day. My car broke down I needed her help. She said she would contact me when she was back in town. Not only did she not call or text, she messaged my boyfriend to hang out with her.

I told her off the second I found out, and it still hurts me to this day. Because she called it “a misunderstanding” and I was very close with her entire family.

I knew about her, and how shady she was. But I wanted to believe she wouldn’t betray me since we are were so close.

#28

They stole from me and denied it. There was no other it could have been, and there was indisputable evidence. I saw it. They stopped responding when I called them out. Blocked me. We were really close friends, or so I thought. So it hurt. But I guess I just lucky to not have them in my life anymore.

#29

We had been best friends for 5 years. Met travelling and lived together, worked together, adventured together, lockdowned together and I had even supported her through a tough medical issue she went through and comforted her for nearly a full year after her 6 month
relationship ended and she was devastated.

At the end of last year I went through a break up of a 3 year relationship and at the same time medical negligence left me with nerve damage. I was in agony both physically and mentally and genuinely felt nearly suicidal and was unsure if i would ever recover (im still healing). I tried my hardest to reach out to friends and family for support (also got myself a therapist for the suicidal part). She ignored me for months. She was aware of everything i was going through. When we finally spoke she told me she couldn’t fix my problems for me and she didn’t know what I wanted from her and i told her i just needed a friend to talk to not to fix anything and she just scoffed. When we next spoke 2 months later she told me my stress was getting her down. We haven’t spoken since. The disappointment has been as heartbreaking as my break up and I’m still reeling from her callousness. It has devastated me ?.

#30

Knew I was struggling to afford everything to be in their destination wedding. Asked the other party members if they wanted to airbnb to save money, but I was left out and expected to have my own rental.

#31

Blamed me in a very passive aggressive way for not putting any effort into our friendship, yet either declined or straight up ignored any suggestion of doing things together. He only wanted to do things he enjoyed, which always resulted in walking. An activity I highly dislike might I add.

#32

One time, my friends and I were taking a sports test in high school, and I experienced low blood sugar. I fainted and was very hurt. Then I was taken to a doctor, and after I left the doctor’s room, I did not find any of my friends waiting for me. I returned home alone in a miserable state. Then I realized that no one cared about your affairs except your family.

#33

He told me he can’t afford to “be my therapist” anymore and stopped talking to me. It kinda came out of nowhere. I’ve gone through a lot of trauma in life and I talked about it with him sometimes, mostly when something bad was happening at home, but we also often talked about his problems and he never gave any indication of being tired of it. It f****d me up a bit, I closed myself off again from people for some time and I’m still scared people might leave me if I talk about my trauma too much.

#34

She maintained a friendship with my ex husband behind my back and without ever mentioning it to me, while I was treating her like a friend and confidante and talked about my feelings and how much I was struggling with the divorce and his treatment of me. Her literal words were “I know he’s done some shitty things to you, but he’s always been a good friend to ME”. She’s kind of a pick me girl who has a lot of self loathing especially in regards to her appearance and my ex was slightly above averagely attractive. He essentially just transferred getting his emotional labor performed by me to her and that’s how she usually ingratiated herself socially. The whole thing was pretty gross, but I’m glad I saw her true colors. Sometimes you just outgrow people and it sucks.

#35

He showed me lewd pictures of the girl who I’d just broken up with. She sent it to him in an attempt to make me jealous. He kept asking for more. So, her plan worked. I was jealous at the time. But I never talked to either of them again

#36

I was friends with a guy who was a total keyboard lunatic. He constantly took shots at people over messenger and just criticised everyone and I got sick of it – on top of it I found out he was often harassing women on Facebook.

Still friends with his brother.

#37

Realising how manipulative and toxic she was. My parents told me after I finally ended our friendship that they held their tongues for so long bc they didn’t want to hurt me. I tried once to reconnect, was in detox for a week before rehab and didn’t get to check my phone till the bus trip and she had responded with “I’ll be your friend but on my terms.” I sent back “Our entire friendship was on your terms so no, I’m going to rehab and not putting up with this s**t.”

I have like a books worth of stories about the s**t she did, it was like being in an abusive relationship, I basically lived with her and her boyfriend for a while and it was horrendous, I will never forgive her for screaming at him the real reason his mum died in the middle of an argument, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

#38

This is a petty one, but – I have (had?) a friend who is chronically late. Like, 45 minutes late every time we hang out. She knows how much it bothers me, and yet she still does it. We don’t hang out anymore.

#39

Was my maid of honour. Proceeded to tell one of my bridesmaids my marriage wasn’t going to last while planning my wedding. All because she was jealous I got engaged and married before she got engaged and was with her partner for longer.

#40

I moved 1200 miles away and was the only one making any effort to meet up. I eventually started cutting out one way relationships – that one included. Unfortunate as we were like brothers for many years. I decided to break the ice recently and visit again. We are so far apart in life now (cognitively) that we are not really even compatible as friends.

#41

Told my ex I cheated on him (hadn’t) then slept with him. Had the nerve to come to me saying ‘somebody’ had told him at a party they went to while I was working

#42

Stole from me after my parents were kind enough to let him live with us on two separate occasions for several months total when we were teenagers after his mom kicked him out. The second stint living with us he left to go live with his dad in another state while we were out of town and stole a bunch of my stuff including things that were locked up and only he and I knew where the key was, since we shared a room. Get f**ked Travis.

#43

Attempted to accuse me of making up some mental health issues and then started bitching to everyone and attempted to play the victim after I snapped on her. Was a complete 180 of her character that I should’ve seen the signs of coming in hindsight, but things unfortunately happen the way they do sometimes.

#44

Turned a mutual friend against me by slowly manipulating them into believing I was the reason for his issues with women.

Ironically enough, it has been 4 years, and he is way creepier with women than when he was solely hanging out with me.

#45

She texted me that she wasn’t coming to my wedding the morning of because her sitter canceled. Not sure why her husband couldn’t watch the kids for a couple hours. I moved out of state shortly after, and a few months after that she contacted me saying she’s in town and wants to get dinner. Why was she in town, you ask? For a wedding.

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