The tensions around conversations about gender seem to be heating up day by day. When it comes to traditional gender denominations, a popular disagreement is often about whether men or women have it harder.

Researchers at the King’s College London’s Policy Institute and Global Institute for Women’s Leadership recently conducted a survey trying to find out people’s attitudes in the UK. About 48% of the public think that it’s harder to be a woman than a man today. 14% think it’s the other way around.

To shed some light on the double standards that men face, one netizen recently asked: “Men, what is your ‘reverse the genders’ moment?” Fellow Redditors shared some uncomfortable stories about how some people fail to think that what they may be saying or doing wouldn’t fly if a woman was on the receiving end.

#1

I’m a tall guy, 6’5, so I have to bend over to drink from the fountain at work. Got my a*s slapped a few times by some of the women I work with.

Image credits: CursedSnowman5000

#2

It was end of year cleaning at the factory I used to work at, there were fair amount of women who used to work there. So regarding the cleaning thing the women were against it saying they don’t want to get their hands dirty and it’s a man’s job. I mentioned gender equality and one of them said “Yes but not in all the things.”.

Image credits: blokewithbike

#3

Twice in college I had girls try to force themselves on me. Both times I just pushed them off and that was that. They weren’t happy about it, but I was bigger and stronger than them so there’s nothing they could really do about it. I didn’t even realize until years later that that’s technically sexual a*****t. I didn’t think much of it at the time.

Image credits: outofdate70shouse

#4

Long time ago. How I lost my virginity. This was the 1980s.

I have no memory of it. I was black out drunk. We were dating, and were going to do it soon anyway. And in her defense, she didn’t know I was that drunk. But we left a high school party and walked the two blocks to her house, snuck into her bedroom, had apparently lousy s*x where we lost our virginities together. I was blackout drunk. She was sober. A couple hours later I wake up and she fills me in! If the roles were reversed, it would totally have been date r**e. As it was, we just blew it off as an oopsy. A week later I got a repeat sober and I was apparently a much better lover!

Image credits: RickKassidy

#5

I’m a guy with shoulder-length hair. I was once rejected from a pizza place during a job interview because my “my hair was too long.” My hair was in a bun at the time, the uniform would require a hat, and my entire head of hair fits under one, which I demonstrated during the interview. Across the room, a girl was making pizza in the kitchen with untied, back length hair. There was also another girl on the register with a pixie cut.

If women can have their hair however they want and be professional, why can’t men?

Image credits: placeholderNull

#6

I went to a florist’s shop with my 6yo son. The lady behind the counter told my son how handsome he was, and how he should come back and see her when he turned 16. She was 50ish.

Image credits: SirGrumpsalot2009

#7

Earlier today there was a thread in /r/bisexual where a woman was asking how to ask out a waitress and several people chimed in about how she should keep going back to the restaurant alone until she got that server, then to flirt with her on the job and leave a big tip with her phone number attached.

I don’t even need to spell it out, it’s so obvious. What they were recommending her to do contradicts so many common pieces of dating advice given to men. As soon as the inherent assumption that the person doing it is some kind of evil, perverted a****r (i.e, a *man*) all that goes out the window.

Image credits: MaybesewMaybeknot

#8

I worked at a law firm as a paralegal and a partner there was a great mentor to me. She was an absolute genius, and a very kind person. Super patient with my mistakes and a great teacher unlike many high performing lawyers. In our weekly meetings we opened with a few slides about recommendations/likes on a topic like movies, music or books. The person chairing would add some pics to go with answers and when it was her turn she used a photo of a jacked dude in an adaptation of an Austen novel with a wet shirt that was sticking to his body. She said in front of the whole firm that she “had to include that photo because wow, I mean look at THAT am I right?”.

Nobody said anything, but I’d bet anything if that was a male colleague, let alone a partner who was mentoring a female paralegal, the entire meeting would have come to a screeching halt.

Image credits: Somobro

#9

The amount of times i’ve been openly groped/s*xually a*saulted by women is a really high number. A*s grabbed, junk grabbed, stolen kisses. It’s really wild.

Image credits: -BOOST-

#10

I’ve been s*xually a*saulted numerous times at work. But when I report it I just get laughed at.

Image credits: anon

#11

I’ve had two HR reps, **both** women, tell me that I should ‘*smile more*’.

Image credits: DomingoLee

#12

I was getting paid less than a female coworker in the same job with the same experience.

Image credits: AltairStarlight

#13

Female teachers having relationships with male students and the reactions to it.

Image credits: ritikusice

#14

Had a girl literally grab my d**k when I was on stage singing karaoke. I pushed her off of me, the bartender did nothing, tje security did nothing. I had to complain to the manager and had to point out SA is SA regardless of gender.

Image credits: BlancoSuper

#15

Bout a year or so back a 25ish year old woman made a post on this sub and was talking about how men lose their “sweetness” as they age and started talking about how she was only interested in barely legal men.

Several people responded talking about how much s**t we go through and to be fair they were right. but I took the route instead of point out how she was sounding alarmingly like a groomer/pedophile in the making. If any one of us started talking about only being interested in only 18 year olds and their “sweetness” which let’s be honest is pretty code for naitivity we’d be nailed to the cross and rightfully so.

Some of the men on this sub defended her, some agreed with me, became a pretty controversial comment, some people started to harp on me about she’s only ~25 but my point was that she was going to keep aging, and her interest seemed to be squarely aimed at men who didnt know any better and were just barely legal, and my guess is that if the age of consent was lower, she would have aimed lower too. It’s like Chris rocks joke about your boss and minimum wage. “I’d pay you less if I could, but it’s against the law.”

The last point I want to make is honestly I’m not sure I’d have an issue with an 18 year old organically starting a relationship with a 25 year old, but there’s a difference between “I’m dating this person and they just so happen to be barely above the age of consent.” Vs “I’m dating this person because they’re barely above the age of consent.”.

Image credits: xTheatreTechie

#16

I’m single and one night about 11 pm, my bedroom door opened and someone came in and closed the door. It was pitch black. Then this female voice, said, “mind if I sit down ?” I leaned over and turned the the lamp on the nightstand. I knew her as we went on a couple of dates. I asked what she was doing ? She started talking and said she needed someone to talk to. After a few minutes she stood up and undid her pants and started to get undressed. Again, I asked her what she was doing. She replied that she thought she would get into bed with me as it would be better to talk. Fack no. I told her to get dressed and get outta my house. She was mad at me because what kind of a guy kicks a 1/2 naked girl out of his bed ! I told her a tired guy that has morals. She didn’t speak to me for a long time. I couldn’t help but wonder if I walked into a girl’s house at 11 pm and did the same thing if she would have yelled r**e and called the police.

Image credits: Bobaloue

#17

Had a bunch of female co-workers at one job. Really enjoyed working with them, and they used to tease me about some things, or ask my about my GF etc and a lot of behavior that if I had done it – would have got me fired.

Honestly – I did not mind – because I knew it was in good fun, but one day I did point out – “look, I am fine with it, but if the roles were reversed here – I would be written up for sexual harassment’ They looked shocked and said ‘but we are just having fun…”.

The missed the point…. the staggering double standard.

Image credits: davepak

#18

I had a friend in school, whom a girl threw water on, threw water back on her. His parents were called and the girl got away with it.

Image credits: Aggravating-Wall-967

#19

Physical a*****t. But i don’t care about that. You hit me, i hit back.

Image credits: Filipino_Canadian

#20

A plethora of a*s grabs, rubbing of the abs,squeezing arms.

Image credits: Remarkable_Ad4046

#21

30M. When I was 24 or so, I approached a table of girls in a lounge trying to be Mr. Suave. Made 0 physical contact with any of the women. Out of nowhere I feel a firm slap to the back of my head. It was one of the members of that group just returning from the bathroom. I say, “What would happen if I did that to you?” She responded, “Oh, you’re one of those.”

I still wonder what I’ll do if that ever happens to me again. Is approaching a table of women not the right move? Probably not. It’s too aggressive and I showed no interest in a particular woman so I get that I wasn’t exactly showing etiquette myself. But was a slap to the back of the head worth getting her kicked out of that place? I think about that.

Image credits: anon

#22

When my kid was under a year old, women of all ages constantly tried to touch, kiss, and pick him up.

If a man tried to pull that stuff they’d be locked up

Edit: This is included complete strangers while out in public. Like I couldn’t go to Safeway without some old lady trying to kiss my infant.

Image credits: Oilspillsaregood1

#23

My girlfriend forgets our anniversary about half the time. I always applaud her on not conforming to gender stereotypes 😂.

Image credits: Tall_0rder

#24

Venting. There have been times when a woman vents and gets emotional and angry. We are expected to be cool, open arms and the works. If we vent in an emotional state it gets interpreted as an attack. If in the wrong circumstances can get you into trouble.

Image credits: 2clipchris

#25

Public bathrooms. Women coming into the men’s room at sports events or festivals is pretty much normal – who wants to deal with those extra long lines, after all?

I attended a music festival years ago where one woman, after finishing her business in one of the stalls, actually walked down the row of men standing at the urinals and looked over everyone’s shoulder. When another woman asked her what she was doing, she replied, “Just checking to see if there’s something I like.”.

Image credits: HoldFastO2

#26

My ex assaulted me, and on the final court hearing, she didn’t show up cos she fled the state, but she got a doctors note. It’s been 3 years, and the case is still going.

If I assaulted her and fled the state, I’d have cops at my door in 10 minutes.

Image credits: jackscockrocks

#27

There are more serious ones but:

1) “isn’t he a handsome young man now?” type comments from older female relatives as a teenager. They weren’t flattering, just pretty uncomfortable and slightly gross.

2) On the flipside, making fun of our appearance seems to be more accepted. Guy I know at university got a tattoo on his arm, but he got it done a little too big and he got teased for it. Around the same time, his girlfriend dyed her hair blood red and was f*****g celebrated for it. Wasn’t just the girls complimenting her and the guys mocking him either.

Image credits: Prudent_Jello5691

#28

Its called stealthing when a guy does it, but I woke up to a woman that I had been sleeping with for about 18 months riding me with no protection. We had used c****s before. I caught something, that needed pills to clean up. Believe it or not that actually made me decide to never again wear a c****m. That seems counterintuitive, but I wouldn’t have slept with her without one. So I’m really, really upping my standards in partners if I only sleep with women that I would sleep with no c****m.

Image credits: PregnancyRoulette

#29

My buddy had a female roommate at one point. They were super social and threw parties nearly every weekend. At these parties his roommate would seemingly pick a random guy and start shoving alcohol down his throat while not drinking herself and staying sober. Once he was nearly blackout drunk shed guide him to her room where shed get another notch on the lipstick case. This particular situation never happened to me and while i do have a personal experience, i wont be sharing, that goes with me to the grave.

Image credits: Goat-Hammer

#30

*Online:*

All the time on this subreddit where women users will say outright hate filled sexist things about men and have a subsection of them coming over here telling men their lived experiences are wrong and saying “NOT ALL WOMEN” when no one said all women.

It seems to be okay when you treat men this way. Something about men having it coming in the name of “Gender Equality” and “Past trauma” or something. Some BS excuse.

===============

*Real life:*

Had a drunk woman slap my a*s at work and scream “Hey s**y”

I know a woman who always gets all touchy with me when just talking

I’ve had another female customer go into detail to me about how much she squirts during s*x with her friend giggling behind her out of nowhere whilst at my cashier point (During a time where young school kids were in the store)

I worked with a woman who flirted with a lot of the men at work including me and once when hugging me. Just full on groped my a*s and even offered to have s*x with me whilst at work 😳 (She got fired after getting caught having s*x with the security guard behind the stock cages).

I worked with another woman who always greeted me with a kiss on the forehead and cheek and a big hug.

I’ve had random stranger women on nights out (Mostly drunk ones) try to just force a make out session with me or on very rare occasions, even just grab my junk or a*s

One woman customer use to come in and just follow me and linger around me till I left the area (After I said “Nice shirt” once to her My Chemical Romance shirt. I think she was just shy and awkard)

======

EDIT

*As a child:*

I also remember in elementary school (primary school as we call it in England) the last day before my grade moved into high school (Secondary school as we call it in England). The lunch lady put on red lipstick and went around kissing all the 10-11 year old boy students on the forehead or cheek. (Maybe lips too… 🤷‍♂️🤢)

I found it gross as a child and was one of the boys who didn’t get one (Cause I hid away from her the whole day) but I remember being in my last class of the day and seeing every boy with a red lipstick stained kiss on their face somewhere like it was a medal or something. I also remember all my friends (who were boys) trying to peer pressure me into getting a kiss from her…… it was really werid.

Imagine if that was a lunch man going around kissing all the young 10-11 year old girl students on the forehead and cheek.🤢🤢🤢. I don’t even know if this lunch lady still has her job or not. If she was fired eventually by a angry parent complaining or retired or if she is still a cook there in the school.

All i know is that it’s really predatory behaviour.. Even as a child, I knew it was werid and gross but didn’t fully understand why…. now as a grown man. I now fully know why I thought that. Some 40-50 year old woman going around with lipstick just trying to kiss every 10-11 year old male student on their last day of elementary school…… very creepy. Especially that the school allowed it and thought it was just a bit of “harmless fun” (I know the school wouldn’t think that if roles were reversed)… I remember telling my mother at the time and her being really Disturbed by it. She at the time felt like the only person I knew who agreed with me that it was gross. Because the school didn’t seem to think it was werid nor did the boys (or girls) I was in school with in the same grade. My mother was the only person I knew back then who saw how gross it was.

And roles were reversed in the secondary school I went too because of the sick twisted geography teacher who preyed on teenage girls was caught giving a 15 year old girl booze, condoms and keys to his house. Caught having really extreme forms of kid stuff on his computer hard drive and had a folder in his classroom called the “leisure” folder where he went around taking perverted pictures of the young girls in his classroom. He was caught and was arrested and is in jail Rightfully so. So my secondary school was no better really (The headmaster at the time was also let go because he knew about it apparently and did nothing about it).

The evil male geography teacher from my high school is in jail (as he should be) but the lunch lady from my elementary school.. no news headlines about her in our local newspaper… no idea if she still has a job… but she went around kissing young boys (sometimes against the young boys will).

Image credits: anon

#31

Broken up with this girl, giving her time to get her c**p together and gtfo. She say “I’m still going to have s*x with you when I want.” I tell her “no, that part of our relationship is over, I’m not interested in that with you, and it’d just complicate things.” She replies “I don’t care what you say, if I want it I’m going to take it.” I tell her “you realize that’s r**e right?” She’s like “I don’t care, I’ll r**e you then, whatever.”

She’s a r**e survivor… like full on drugged gang r**e, had to get an abortion.

#32

I had a situation when I worked at Burger King where the store manager’s daughter (MD) had taken a liking to me. She knew I was already dating another woman and that I also had no interest in MD. I was disassembling the broiler on day and MD is standing behind me talking. Whatever. I can talk, work and remain civil all at once. At some point in the conversation, MD reached around me and caressed my forearm from from wrist to elbow. I yanked my arm away and loudly said “Don’t touch me!” a moment later, MD did it again. I responded the same way. MD patted my a*s and walked away.

Knowing that MD was the store manager’s (SM) daughter, reporting it to the SM wouldn’t do any good. And the district manager (DM) was best friends with SM and had been for over 13 years. So I couldn’t go to DM either. I called the headquarters (HQ) of the company that owned our franchise to complain. HQ said that the DM handles those types of complaints. I tried to tell HQ that I didn’t trust DM because of her friendship with SM and that it was MD who I had a complaint about. They refused to change their command structure to accommodate my unique case. I was forced to report it to DM, who told SM I complained. The retaliation started and nothing was done. I quit shortly after for a better job.

#33

Back in the late 1980s, I was briefly on my high school swim team. When we all strode out onto the pool deck in our tiny red and white Speedos, the stares, leers, ogles, subtle catcalls, giggles, grins, and whispers from both the girls and women in the audience were overwhelming.

None of us guys minded though. It got to the point where some of the guys would start peacocking whenever they were out of the water, and more than one had a little tent in his swim briefs from all the female attention while standing around during roll call or mingling with the crowd between heats. I can only imagine what it would have been like if we were born a few decades earlier, when young guys swimming fully n**e was still in fashion.

I’m not gonna lie. I miss those days and wish I could go back.

It was probably those early experiences that started my enjoyment of CFNM scenarios and n**e art modeling, both of which I eventually did. It probably also explains why I have a slight M**F authority figure f****h LOL.

#34

I used to work at a restaurant. One day I turn a corner and a female coworker and I bump hard into each other. She slugs me in the chest and says something in Spanish to me and we exchange a few words. I tell the general manager and he laughs the whole thing off.

#35

When I was younger, my dads female friend would ask my brother and I for a kiss on the cheek cuz we were such cute little babies or whatever. When I went to do it, she would turn her head so I would kiss her on the mouth and laugh. I doubt it would be seen as normal if I were a girl and she were a man.

Kids are dumb so I thought it was funny obviously and I would do it back all the time to her too after that. I’m not traumatized by it or have any bad feelings from it but I remember it so clearly like I had a crush on her.

She just moved away one day and we never saw her again which sucked because I was friends with her son.

HERE’S THE KICKER.

I then found out that she then went on to film cp with her friends of some little girl and they were all sent to prison. I found this out only like a year and a half ago. I think it happened after she moved but I feel that the kissing thing was somehow less innocent after finding that out lol.

#36

I was 19 at a bar with friends.

While standing at the bar waiting to order a drink, a lady I guess to be in her 40s approached me and asked me to dance. I politely declined. She grabbed my hand and tried to pull me away from the bar. I resisted and asked her to leave me alone.

She proceeded to start loudly swearing at me and telling people to “look at this *Insert homophobic slur*”. Everybody around was staring at me as if I was at fault. Nobody told her to stop, they were just looking at me.

If a guy grabbed a woman like that and tried to pull her away there is a good chance he’d be punched. At the very least someone would say something to him.

#37

Oh I’ve had so many by now. I go to raves often with my friends. I’ve been kissed without asking for it, my butt has been grabbed and smacked without asking for it, p**s drunk girls have casually come near me and wrapped their floppy arms around me swaying to the music, one time this cougar asked me if I had any sniff sniff and that she would suck my you-know-what for it, I s**t you not! Yay girl power! Y’all fought for the equal right to behave the same ugly way those men who you complain about do.

#38

Not a single moment but random women sure do love to get touchy.

#39

Few years ago, I was in my early twenties we attended a wedding in my gf,’s greater family circle, some cousin was marrying.
Between to courses of the menu, the bride’s mother walks over and asked me to stand up and show ‘how my a*s fits those pants’ to her girlfriends + other members of the brides’ family.

Just imagine if a grooms father would walk over to a 20 y/o woman wich is attending the marriage as a +1 and asks her to show her a*s to him and his companions.

#40

This one is less heavy than a lot here.

Once while I was helping someone at work, a female coworker hugged me from behind. It caught me off guard and I said something like “I wasn’t expecting that.” She said, “I just think you’re really great.” She is someone I think is very attractive, but I really don’t think she was flirting or anything. She is simply an outgoing, positive person and was paying a compliment.

There are two sides to my feelings about this. For one, it was incredibly nice and something I remember even though it was around eight years ago. That’s the “men never receive compliments” side. The other side is the one where I know very well that if I did something identical to a female coworker, I would quite likely lose my job.

#41

Guy at work was getting married and received a set of his-and-hers aprons for cooking (his were “I like her buns”, hers were “I like his meat”). In my 90% female workplace, someone suggested he put his on and then someone else, an older woman, said “And nothing else”.

She received giggles from the other ladies around her but I immediately imagined the s**t storm that would’ve happened if you reversed the genders.

#42

In a class I was taking the best study group happened to be the girls, I ended up tagging along – we all knew each other and got on decently from previous classes. Multiple times across the semester I shared certain insights, always in a “hey I think I’ve got it, should I share” type of way, and more than half the time they’d say “oh well maybe we should check with the prof (who was also a woman)”. I was right in every single one of these instances.

#43

Mostly sexual contact- butt grabbing, hands under my shirt or down my pants. Had a gay guy in university grab my butt too and when I took a swing at him immediately went and started screaming how “homophobic” I was. But part of that was him just having it out for religious conservative people, and as a straight guy open about my faith and politics he had it out for me.

People, treat others the way you want to be treated. Just because it’s not a heterosexual man doing it doesn’t make the behavior ok.

#44

I told my ex to stop performing a h*****b because it hurt and she looked at me and said “no” loudly. It hurt so bad I eventually tried to move her hand but she used all her strength to push my hand onto my chest and continue while loudly saying “no.” I quit fighting because her roommate was asleep and braced the pain.

Thousands of dollars in therapy later, I’m doing okay I guess.

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