There are so many weird and creepy people around that look and act normal at first, but when you talk to them some more or even become friends or start a relationship with them, you realize that they are quite toxic or crazy. After a couple of these experiences, you start to look for signs before committing to getting closer to that person.

There are a lot of common signs that are really telling, but we have started to demonize behaviors that don’t actually tell us anything and it’s just a normal thing that many people do, including the bad people in your life. 

Reddit user MuchDuck did us all a favor and asked people online “What is widely considered a red flag but actually is not?” allowing people who do certain things to defend themselves and for others to learn that sometimes healthy behaviors that may seem suspicious or unacceptable to us don’t mean that someone is a bad human being.

More info: Reddit

#1 Being Independent, Or Even A Loner

Being independent, or even a loner. Sometimes we’re just shy and have poor social skills. We’re not “creeps” or “weird”. I just do my own thing and leave people alone for the most part unless they want me in their life.

Image credits: BurghFinsFan

#2 Not Responding To Texts Immediately

Not responding to texts immediately.

No *Brenda* I’m not ghosting you, I am literally at work.

Image credits: deathjoe4

#3 Not Having A Social Media Presence

Not having a social media presence. I’ve had multiple people tell me that my choice not to use social media was a huge red flag, but in reality I got rid of my accounts because they were making me miserable. I got rid of my Facebook/Instagram/twitter accounts two years ago, and have been noticeably happier ever since.

Image credits: taylor52087

#4 Placed The Phone Screen Down On A Table

I once met a girl who thought it was a red flag that I always placed my phone screen down on a table. She thought it meant I was hiding something. I had to try and explain that it’s too big to keep in my pocket and it’s screen down to be polite and show her that she has my undivided attention.

Although, I must admit, that her level of insecurity was a red flag to me.

Image credits: Natural-Ad678

#5 Not Getting Along With Parents

Not getting along with parents. Some parents are abusive, neglectful, or toxic to be around; and if an adult chooses not to be around that, good for them.

Of course, if a person is actively awful *to* their parents, that’s another story.

Image credits: insertcaffeine

#6 Not Having Many Friends

Not having many friends. im just very introverted not a weirdo.

Image credits: sticks-in-spokes

#7 Single Guy With A Cat

Single guy with a cat. I am NOT a monster god dammit.!!!

Image credits: catfarts99

#8 Not Dating For Several Years

Not dating for several years, I’ve been told by girls that if a guy has been single for over five years that’s a problem.

So you’d prefer he’d be in 25 relationships in the last five years and wonder why all those relationships didn’t work out?

Image credits: bigblueberryboobies

#9 A Man Playing With A Child At A Playground

maledependasaid:

A man playing with a child at a playground

Grogosh added:

Decades of that stranger danger stuff ruined dads being out with their child. Sure its a legitimate threat but the real bad stuff happens because they already know the kid, in family, friends, etc.

Image credits: maledependa

#10 Girls With Stuffed Animals

Girls with stuffed animals. It’s just comfort and habit. Not that deep.

Edit: I’m so glad so many others of all identities agree. Its so okay to enjoy comforting items at any age. So happy to see it. You deserve to find joy and comfort in the simple things.

Image credits: lavenderbleudilly

#11 Not Making Eye Contact

Not making eye contact doesnt mean someone is lying.

Image credits: Electronic-Emu-773

#12 Men Having Female Friends

Men having female friends. A lot of girls get jealous, but if it’s a real friendship and not a bunch of exes and hookups, it actually shows women consider them reliable and good people to have around.

Image credits: freakydude92

#13 Not Wanting Your Partner(S) To Know Your Passwords

smallemochick said:

not wanting your partner(s) to have the passwords to all your social media accounts

arturobear added:

It’s just weird. My husband and I sometimes leave things open on shared devices and each of us, just respectfully logs out and logs in with our own credentials. We don’t open each other’s mail either.

There’s a basic level of respect and trust you need to have in a relationship. If you feel the need to snoop, there’s a lot more going on and the relationship has probably been on the rocks for a while. There are more mature ways to handle it – like being open with your feelings and having a frank conversation.

Image credits: smallemochick

#14 Living With Family

living with family, in this day and age it’s just not feasible for everyone to have their own place.

Image credits: kumakami89

#15 Being Over 40 And Never Having Been Married

SadPlayground said:

Being over 40 and never having been married.

newbuttonacc replied:

It’s weird because by implication, it’s “not being divorced”

Which is, by extension, “not having sworn a vow to be with someone forever and then broke that vow”

How is that a red flag? Idk.

I lived in a highly conservative area and people were treating me like a weirdo for not being married at 22. Knowing how stupid I was at 22, not getting married was easily the smartest thing I did.

Image credits: SadPlayground

#16 When A Guy Doesn’t Pay For All Dates/Buy Them Things

The amount of women I know that take it as a red flag that a guy doesn’t pay for all dates/buy them things. I’m proud of what I have done with my life and that I can go do those things myself, I like a guy that treats me as an equal. That is not a red flag at all to me

Image credits: LeafsChick

#17 Not Answering The Phone Or The Door Immediately

Not answering the phone or the door just because someone is calling or knocking. Once upon a time if you couldn’t get a hold of your friend or family member right away you assumed they were already busy doing something and you found something else to do. If it was of actual importance you would leave a BRIEF message describing why you called.

Now if I don’t jump up off the toilet just to see who is knocking on my front door or calling my landline (I have bad cell reception where I live) without texting first people act like I’m dead or I’m being an a*****e. It’s so easy to text first that if you refuse to do it, I find *that* a red flag.

Image credits: Vegetable_Salad86

#18 Men That Like Children And Babies

Men that like children and babies. Why do we assume every guy that likes babies is a pervert and a woman can’t be?

Image credits: Nivasha

#19 Gaps In Employment Being Seen As A Red Flag In A Resume

So relationships are implied but not explicitly specified. So I am going to expand this to employment.

Gaps in employment being seen as a red flag in a resume.

Image credits: devilsrotary86

#20 Not Wanting A Relationship

Not wanting a relationship, or not wanting certain things in a relationship (sex included).

Not everyone wants the same things and not everyone likes the same things.

Image credits: ElenCelebrindal

#21 Not Posting Pictures With Friends On Your Dating Profile

Not posting pictures with friends on your dating profile. Some people assume you’re anti-social and not pleasant to be around, but I choose not to because I feel weird to post pictures of other people than myself.

Image credits: GreenLurch

#22 Having An Incompatible Zodiac Sign

Having an incompatible zodiac sign does not justify treating someone like a red flag. Please stop this madness….

#23 Not Wanting To Spend Every Minute Of Every Living Day With Your S/O

Not wanting to spend every minute of every living day w your SO?

#24 Understanding That Not All Criminals Are Bad People

Understanding that not all criminals are bad people.

Sometimes I try to explain to people that maybe some criminals did what they did because of their circumstances and their weird understanding of how the world works. That does not necessarily make them a bad person.

I am met with such harsh criticism for this statement, like I’m the criminal here. I just “understand” them, I don’t commit crimes like them.

At this point I’ve stopped explaining this to anyone I know without being anymomous.

#25 Not Wanting Drama

Not wanting drama. It doesn’t mean I cause drama, I’ve lived with drama and I truly won’t put up with it, life is too short.

#26 Wanting And Expecting Your Privacy To Stay Intact

Wanting and expecting your privacy to stay intact. I don’t want my partner having my computer/phone passwords and I sure as hell don’t want him snooping through my phone. I’m not hiding anything, but I am entitled to my privacy, and so is my partner.

#27 Going To Therapy

TruthProfessional340 said:

Going to therapy

DetectiveBennett added:

Considering less than just two generations ago it wasn’t just a red flag but considered as admission of being really damaged, I don’t think society has accepted that it’s actually a good thing just yet. Boomers definitely used to think going to therapy/being in the “looney bin” was sign they were a bad person and I don’t think they’ve really seen the light on that yet. Hopefully our generations will completely break through these prejudices.

Image credits: TruthProfessional340

#28 Setting Personal Boundaries

Setting personal boundaries.

#29 Not Going To College

Not going to college

I plan to go personally but some people dont. I’ve been raised to believe people who go to college have their life together or are smarter than the average person. I’ve learned pretty quickly that people who don’t go to college aren’t stupid or anything. Some just have a different life path or can’t afford it or found a job or buisness that works out better than any colleges opportunities would’ve given.

College doesn’t define a person’s worth. It’s just an expensive tool to get some people where they want to be.

Image credits: Crims0n_and_Cl0ver

#30 Being Weird In An Innocent Way

AngelsOfWar01 said:

Being weird in an innocent way. Like society shuns anyone who thinks outside a set of parameters. When really its just a different way to view the world.

Thrillhouse-14 replied:

Agree. I also don’t know why everyone feels the need to try and diagnose weirdness as autistic or ADHD or whatever, too. Why does there need to be an excuse for it? And why would a literal disability be the only thing to absolve that? People need to stop trying to railroad others just because they don’t understand them. Some people are just built differently. They don’t have to understand it, they just have to respect it.

Image credits: AngelsOfWar01

#31 Being Quiet

Being quiet.

Everyone thinks I’m autistic or a nerd or something. I have no f*****g clue. I kind of shut up about it because I don’t care and I’m not there to try and prove to anyone anything or tell them they are wrong. It’s actually a good filter for me actually. But every one that works with me, or has to be around me for a long enough time, over time, realizes I’m a pretty cool dude and like to do fun s**t.

Someone even told me, “ya know mathaiser, I thought you were a huge dork but you’re actually pretty cool.”

So, what red flag is that? Being kinda quiet/shy. Just because I’m not pressing whatever advantage or peacocking there is, kinda adds to my quality imo. But I don’t think about it like that either. Just trying to explain it.

Image credits: mathaiser

#32 Not Owning A Car

Not owning a car. Idk how that’s a red flag for some people, but personally I think public transport is superior

Image credits: New_CourierSix

#33 Not Having Any Prior Sexual Or Relationship Experience

Not having any prior sexual or relationship experience

Image credits: ChickenzInvade

#34 Jealousy

Jealousy. It’s a human emotion. Feeling jealousy isn’t a red flag. Now, punching the wall, or taking that feeling of jealousy out on a person IS a red flag.

Image credits: Conscious-Studio8111

#35 Being “Clingy”

Being “clingy”. Now ACTUALLY being clingy and overstepping boundaries IS a red flag. But these days a lot of things that are perceived as clingy are just people showing genuine interest as opposed to trying to “play it cool.” Just my opinion though.

Image credits: YummyIceCream54

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