Some people marry for love, some for tradition, and a few just want to make sure their bills are never late. So when someone on Reddit asked, “For women that married the ‘rich one’ out of security, what has it been like?”, the answers were something else. 

You’d think marrying into money meant endless vacations and monogrammed everything. But for many of these women, the only thing more oversized than their closets was the loneliness that came with it. These raw confessions remind us that while financial comfort is lovely, it’s not always the fairytale ending people expect. So, the next time someone says, “Marry rich,” you might want to ask if it comes with free emotional support, too. Because as these stories show, even a castle can feel cold without love inside.

#1

My husband and I are both rich. 10/10 recommend. .

Image credits: whosaysimme

#2

My first husband was very wealthy, when we were dating that was fun and he loved to spoil me and treat me to awesome things….after we were married he became very controlling and definitely used his wealth and money to control and assert his dominance over me. I became very anxious and cried all the time, went on anti depressants, went to therapy….eventually he became physically intimidating and I left him….miraculously all the depression and anxiety went way.

Now I’m happily married, middle class, stable, married the kind one. Better choice.

Image credits: DaphneDork

#3

A bit different.

he became rich while we dated.

we were both not working when we met. I was on leave from teaching after a death in my family, he had just moved to my city and looking for work.

he was a freelance graphic designer, and landed a gig at a start up company. this was around 2010, when mobile apps were just taking off, and things like instagram were just coming out.

design after design, he won awards, the company blew up because of him. life was fun when there’s money, and parties, and award ceremonies.

after a bit, d***s and drinking got in his way, he became more a*****e, tried to k**l me, and I left.

he was fired and blacklisted.

Image credits: WearyEnthusiasm6643

Falling in love feels like a dream and getting to marry that person is even better. But sometimes, marriage isn’t about butterflies and sunsets. Some people tie the knot for practical reasons like stability or financial security. And while that can work out, it doesn’t always end in happiness. When love isn’t part of the foundation, cracks tend to appear. 

Take financial security for example—it’s one of the most common non-romantic reasons people marry. Some individuals believe their partner’s wealth will solve all problems. But no amount of money can replace respect, kindness, or shared values. When finances become the main focus, the relationship often turns transactional. And when that support crumbles, so does the relationship.

#4

It’s worked out well. I didn’t pick him just because he’s rich, but I’ve been with men similar in habit and compatibility to him who didn’t have as much money. It’s nice to not have to worry about whether we have enough money to pay the bills. And we can vacation where we want because we want to and not picking places because they are budget friendly. The kids can participate in the activities they want and won’t have to pick a lower tier college in the interest of saving us money or reducing their own student loan burden. I do work because I want to, but I don’t have to work jobs I hate or hours that suck because we have the household financial security to weather the storm of temporary unemployment.

Image credits: azulsonador0309

#5

Gave up my acting/directing career to be with an ex-partner, as I thought that I wouldn’t succeed in my career and resigned myself to a life of normality.

When I got dumped, the biggest thing that hurt was that I chose the safe path and things still didn’t work out.

So the moral of the story is, don’t give up your passions and career for a so-called “normal life”, because when the worst happens, you’re only left with yourself, and your previous skills and experience, and it can be hard re-entering the workforce.

I got lucky, and I’m much happier now pursuing the things I truly want.

Image credits: notthewoopers

#6

I’ll speak for my mom

She thought she was marrying the rich one.

My dad tried to talk her out of it- even offered to pay her more than child support *not* to do it (not out of love- it’s just who my dad is.) That pissed her off and she married him anyway.

I won’t go into details of the stuff I went through but he was not a safe person to be around.

He was a big time manipulator. He tied my mom into 6 millions dollars in debt. She had no idea until she wanted a divorce- that’s when she found out he was putting his debt in her name for his failing businesses.

She ended up having to file bankruptcy to leave him but the divorce took years. He would constantly hire new lawyers just to keep the process going. She almost didn’t make it out in one piece mentally.

It’s been a long road for her. She hasn’t made the best decisions in relationships (I had to cut her out of my life for awhile because of it) but after some very extensive therapy she’s doing much better.

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While it’s okay to want a stable life, relying completely on a partner for financial security can be risky. Independence is empowering. Having control over your income, savings, and decisions gives you freedom. You can walk away from toxic situations without fearing financial collapse. This kind of strength comes from building your own foundation. And it’s a lifelong gift you give to yourself.

#7

I didn’t marry him for security. I am highly educated and have a successful career of my own but he had built wealth that was far beyond anything I’ll ever make. We married young, when he was setting up his company. I encouraged him and we had a close partnership for many years- eventually he wanted more and more control and wanted me to me to be to be more trophy wife, less partner. He had an affair, we got divorced. He attacked me through expensive lawyers, made it out with my own savings and pocket change. I’ve gotten over it and am on a totally different path in life- prioritizing my career and being more open to living for joy and purpose in my own life. Am single, don’t know I’ll ever remarry or have a family but not concerned with it at the moment. What’s for you is for you.

Image credits: flechadeoro

#8

My sister is very unhappy with the rich one, so it didn’t really have much of a negative effect on her.

Image credits: Just_Juggernaut3232

#9

I was engaged to the “rich one” and got away.
It was NOT WORTH IT. The abuse – physical, SA, emotional, mental, etc. It was extremely lonely. I always remember being sad on vacation. It would hit me hard then. I’m on an expensive vacation in a beautiful resort – where normal people would be thrilled. But instead I was miserable and alone and honestly pissed that our usual routines were on hold and therefore I was expected to be in his presence all day. Do not do it. Life is too short for misery and you deserve true love. Money is just money – it can come and go. Love and happiness are what life is about. People will say all day “well I don’t pay any bills”. There isn’t a bill
In this world that cost more than my peace and happiness.

Image credits: Born_Boysenberry4327

To understand more about this, we spoke with Khushboo Dugar, a seasoned chartered accountant in India. She’s worked in financial planning and tax advisory for years and knows exactly how finances shape personal lives. “As an Indian woman, I truly understand the importance of being financially independent,” she shared. Her perspective is shaped by personal experience. Growing up, she didn’t know much about savings, as no one taught her.

#10

This is not the same thing, but I didn’t marry for love, I married my husband because we were good partners. But he was financially stable enough that I could stay at home with our daughter, which I think we both wanted. I think we have a different kind of love for each other that has grown over time but it’s not a very romantic relationship and I’m honestly happier than I was when I was deeply in love in the past.

Image credits: I-Am-Willa

#11

My friend married the “rich one” because he is rich and she is living the ‘if you marry for money you earn every penny’ phrase. There is also a not insignificant age difference, in-laws are a******s, and husband is a tightwad, and a family business in a somewhat volatile industry dynamic going on. But he’s rich so she doesn’t have to work outside the home, so she sort of got what she wanted.

Image credits: ilikesimis

#12

My grandma has been married twice. First to a poor, mentally ill man. They met in the Air Force, he got drunk and decided to go back to his room but accidentally went into my grandmas room by mistake, got really embarrassed but grandma had him sleep off his drunken state there. They had 2 daughters (my mom and my aunt) and got divorced when my mom was like 7(?). By the time my mom was around 13ish grandma had met a new man. He was adopted by a wealthy family but raised by the nannies and never really knew what “family” was. He never had children of his own but raised my mom and aunt like his own. They are still together and deeply in love. (Step)Grandpa had his first heart attack about a decade ago when I was still a kid. I don’t remember much other than having to drive a long way several times to go to the hospital (we live in the country so it’s like 3 hours to get to the really good hospitals) and being in the hospital at night, walking down darkened hallways with my sister to the coffee pot at the end of the hall so we could get coffee. (Step) grandpa said that was the first time he truly felt what “family” was. He’s recently had another heart attack and mom advised us not to expect him to still be here next year and to visit them as much as possible before Christmas. During his most recent heart attack (luckily a minor one but his last one was major) grandma called me crying and sounded so scared while she told me they were heading to the hospital and to call my sisters and mom. She was distraught for 2 months after that since she knew he doesn’t have much longer but during more recent visits she seems to be dealing with it well. I’ve also heard from my mom that grandma will most likely move in with my mom after grandpa passes or move into a smaller house since she won’t be able to bear living there without him.

Image credits: penisdevourer

“It’s important to teach financial independence early on,” she said. “It helps people make their own decisions. You don’t have to depend on anyone else to build your dreams.” For Khushboo, money isn’t just about numbers, it’s about having choices. And when you have choices, you also have confidence. That’s what allows someone to walk with dignity and assurance, no matter the situation.

#13

I married for love but he’s also rich. It’s great. We haven’t stressed over a single bill in 20 years. We still argue, as does every couple, but it’s never about money. For sure, I’m prioritizing wealthy (everything else being equal). My husband is an amazing guy, I married him when we were students, he’s not conventionally handsome while I was objectively beautiful. I knew he was motivated to succeed, I also knew his parents were wealthy.

I know my grandmother often lamented marrying the handsome one and not the other guy who was courting her

My sister is also kicking herself for not dating the “nerdy” guy who was crazy for her and is now a multimillionaire.

Image credits: donttouchmeah

#14

My sister married into money. I wouldn’t say rich, but he’s well off. My sister was in a dire situation and was desperate to get out of it. We all know she is using him for money, but he hasn’t caught on yet. He’s very obsessed with his ex-wife. He has 3 kids by her, and my sister can’t stand them. The whole situation is f****d. I don’t know how long the marriage will last.

Image credits: Juicyy56

#15

My husband isn’t rich but he makes good money, works really hard, is very responsible and could afford to live on his own when we met. We got married for things other money and love, but we do love each other. I was only 22 and I didn’t go to college so I wasn’t financially stable in the same way. I worked and paid for everything I had and took care of my younger sister financially but I lived with family and felt trapped. So it made sense to get married and would help me but the thing I wish I realized back then was to not become as financially dependent on him. We had a rough patch and I realized I don’t have anything or anywhere to go if we got divorced. I recently went back to school in order to get out of dead end jobs and have financial independence/security. Overall I think people should check both boxes by picking someone you enjoy being around and actually like as well as them being financially stable.

Image credits: corkblob

Financial awareness builds more than bank balances. It strengthens your self-esteem. You stop feeling like a burden and start realizing your potential. Confidence spills over into every part of life: how you speak, how you set boundaries, and how you see yourself. When you know your worth, you stop settling for less in relationships. Financial freedom is just one part of that transformation.

#16

My friend married a guy she did like…but she was looking for someone wealthy (she is also highly educated with a good job that could earn well)… and honestly? I’m not sure how much of it was love for her and how much if it was wanting a kid before she got too old, I think she didn’t really know him.

…he ended up being very controlling. Wouldn’t let her change anything about the house. She got pregnant and he was the least supportive partner you can imagibe – he wouldn’t even keep pregnancy safe food in the house and would fill the fridge with things you’re not meant to eat whilst pregnant.

He didn’t want to pay for her to stay home but he was also unsatisfied if she worked. Didn’t want her to be close to family, whilst he had zero boundaries with his own family. Whilst she was postpartum he didn’t want her to work…but he also basically refused to pay for anything for the baby. People assune that they’ll marry a rich person who is generous- but many rich people only really care for themselves or are happy to use it as a control tactic.

She left him before their baby was 1 year old. And naturally he ended up a nightmare to coparent with. Because he doesn’t understand kids and wants his baby to behave like some idealised older child rather than in a way kids that age actually behave.

#17

Based on the other comments, I suppose I must be extremely lucky. My mother always told me when I was young that “you can marry more in five minutes than you can make in a lifetime”. I didn’t specifically seek to marry a wealthy man, meaning I didn’t discount potential partners who had no money, but I always loved the idea of marrying a rich man. When I met my husband, we were both middle-aged. He was extremely smart and had an Ivy League graduate degree which had opened up connections for him into a lucrative career. He works extremely hard, but recognizes that without the connections that came from attending an elite school, he never would have been offered his position in a very lucrative industry. He was raised in a frugal middle class family and had never had many luxuries, so he has a huge appreciation for money, investing it and spending it wisely. When I met him, I had a career I loved, but one that would never be lucrative. Because I didn’t make a lot of money, I was extremely responsible and had learned how to utilize my resources wisely in order to create a comfortable existence on not much money. I, too, had been raised in a very frugal middle class household, so when I met my husband, our similar family backgrounds, combined with our respect for money and our understanding of how to be financially responsible was one of the things that really bonded us together.

I don’t know if it’s that neither of us came from money, or that both of us inherently respected it, knew how to be responsible with it, and appreciated how lucky he was to have made so much of it, but regardless, we have built a beautiful life and he is an incredible partner. He’s extremely generous with his money, donating to numerous charities and people in need. He has three adult children from his previous marriage who are all gainfully employed and are making their own way in life (it was important to him that his children never felt entitled to privilege or were spoiled), yet he gifts them money every year in order to assist with things like a down payment for a house or paying for his daughter’s wedding. Although I have carte blanche to spend his money as I see fit, I find great pride in still working and earning my own income which is what I use to pay for my ‘frivolous’ or ‘fun’ expenses (my choice to do so, not his). That being said, he pays all the bills and household expenses and never expects me to spend a dime on anything. We love to travel, live in a beautiful home, have a wonderful community, and it’s been such a blessing to never have to worry about money.

As he approaches retirement, I feel very blessed and lucky to know that we will be set up for life financially. He is a wonderful partner, is extremely kind and generous with his affection, his time, and his love. Every day feels like a fairy tale Cinderella story and I am extremely lucky. My mother is also thrilled that I married more in five minutes than I could make in a lifetime. More than that, though, I married more love in five minutes than I ever had in my lifetime.

#18

One of my close friends married a rich guy, almost 10 years older than her. Her family never had that much money but she always loved luxurious trips and clothing etc more than anything. He offered that to her. He already had a business, a house in a good neighbourhood, a property in a coastal town in Spain and a luxury car. Ever since they got engaged his family have been incredibly rude and a*****e. His mom, sister, aunts, cousins, and brother have all treated her like s**t. This started months before the wedding and she still went through with it. Her parents told her to end it and that her marriage would end in divorce, but she never listened. The bullying still happens to this day but he won’t cut ties. She says her relationship doesn’t feel loving and she can’t talk to him bc he gets triggered and angry easily and he also drinks a lot. She told her sister that if it wasn’t for his money she probably wouldn’t marry him. Despite all of this, she wanted to try for a baby… The doctors recently told her that she has developed severe endometriosis which makes it very unlikely for her to have a baby. We think all the stresses and abuses of the past few years have exacerbated her condition. I feel like the universe told her repeatedly from every source possible not to go through with this relationship and she ignores all of it. It’s really sad to see how much some women are willing to tolerate just for financial security and “luxuries”. .

She also emphasized the power of equal partnerships. When both partners contribute in their own way, the relationship feels more balanced. “There’s mutual respect and shared understanding. It’s no longer about one person holding all the cards. Healthy communication and financial openness build stronger bonds,” she adds. 

#19

My millionaire friend has been wanting to date me since 2018 and I’ve always said no. He’s Loud, obnoxious and likes to be right in arguments. He acts just like my dad and whuke I love my dad, I can’t imagine a life like that. He’s apologetic but it always seems backhanded.

Fun gaming buddy though. I always encourage him to marry a nice 5. He tends to go after influencer types. ( I’m not an influencer type, just a chill gamer girl).

#20

I met my ex in college. He was in a field that offered high incomes right after graduation, so while we were not rich we were very comfortable. He became very controlling and mean, and watched every penny I spent, getting upset if I bought an extra non-perishable grocery item because it was on sale. Mind you, he did not do any shopping or cooking.

I waited probably too long to divorce him because I was worried about the big drop in income and stability. But I finally did it, and while it was tough financially for a long time, I was fine and so much happier without him.

#21

I knew he was financially stable with a 25 year career when we met. It wasn’t til 9 months later that I he told me he also owned a successful bar and grille. And was almost 2 years before he told me he owned a half dozen rental properties. (I should add that for the 1st 4 years we had a long distance relationship, I lived in Jersey City, he in NC.We saw each other about one weekend a month plus holidays, vacations etc)

When we decided we were ready to make a bigger commitment to the relationship we knew one of us had to leave their job and relocate. By that time he had already put in 29 years at the same company, a year from retirement at 55, plus the rentals and the bar…made sense that I be the one to relocate. Doing so landed me a very very good career with a major sports broadcasting company as a bonus.

6 months later he came clean…after I said yes to his proposal. He owned 6 residential rentals, one “strip mall” with 8 rental spaces, 4 separate commercial rental spaces, and the bar. i knew he owned his home and some land it sat on, I didnt know it was 12 acres. Or that it used to be 28 acres before he developed, built and sold 20 homes on 1/2 acre lots around his property, the remaing acres being used for the access road and a small park and water run off areas.

Was I mad he didnt tell me? Not at all. I understood, I was 27, he was 39. He wanted me to want to be with him, not his portfolio. Imo opinion he did the right thing, told me in the appropriate times and situations.

And the funniest thing about it all…?

It was my friends and family who said he was an older man who just wanted a younger woman and free load off her money!

Khushboo added that financial literacy prepares people for emergencies, too. Life is unpredictable: a job loss, a health crisis, or family needs can arise any time. If you’re prepared, you don’t panic. You take action. And that’s a comforting thought: knowing that no matter what comes, you’ve got a safety net you built yourself.

#22

I was a waitress when I started dating my husband, he wasnt rich but he had just graduated from a great business school and had landed a great job with one of his fathers friends. I did however know his family was wealthy but that wasnt a factor, I was young and I thought the world was easy.
Married him, never worked a day again and I couldnt be happier, raised my boys, took care of my home, assisted my parents and in laws, baby sat nieces and nephews, traveled, my husband has been an amazing provider, better husband and the best father.

#23

I didn’t marry rich but I’ve had several opportunities to and likely could have if I wanted. I could go into way more details of why I didn’t but I’ll keep it brief. I’m going to sound like an a*****e at times but if I try to sugar coat stuff this will get long so I’m gonna be brutally honest instead. There’s of course exceptions to every one of these rules but when I started adding qualifiers my original comment became way too long. I’d be happy to expand more if anyone would like.

1. Rich people are BORING. The more time I spent with them the more boring I became as well. Some people may find their life style fun but I do not. Rich people love to spend money but my god they don’t know HOW to spend it. I often say if I was born rich I’d actually use the money properly but tbh if I was born rich I’d probably be just as boring.

2. Maintaining your appearance becomes a full time hobby. I am not naturally hot. I became hot. But when I started dating my current bf I realized I’d sacrificed so much of my free time being hot I never got to enjoy my actual hobbies. I’m less hot now (still pretty hot for where I live tho. Probably a local 8 and an LA 4. Add two points to each score if the judge of my hotness is gay or alternative.)

3. You’ll never be viewed as an equal. Maybe if you get lucky your husband will view you that way (although tbh it’s unlikely) but there WILL be members of his family and circle that do not. Abuse rates are very high for women that marry rich. It’s easy to become trapped.

4. Rich people think they’re smart, most of them are dumb as hell. Like so much dumber than you think. They’ve just learned the right words to say to sound smart. I don’t date dumb people and while I can play nice when mingling and stroke some egos, having to pretend my husband is smart when he’s got some brain dead a*s take sounded like my own personal hell.

5. The good rich people that don’t follow these rules, are near impossible to find intentionally. Any intelligent, caring, non-shallow rich person is going to keep their wealth hidden to avoid gold diggers because they want to find real love. I’m very good at spotting old money, as they also have a tendency to intentionally appear middle class but there’s some tells. But the tells all rely on certain aspects of how they carry themselves and someone who doesn’t fit these reasons wouldn’t have those tells. So you can’t really purposely marry rich and avoid these things unfortunately.

#24

I married the tall dark and handsome,Broke,man with a heart of gold. we’re now broke and happy together!

She says, “It also gives people the ability to plan for early retirement or long-term goals. Maybe you want to start a business someday. Maybe you want to travel or buy a house on your own terms. These dreams aren’t far-fetched when you have a plan. They become milestones, not fantasies. And that’s what makes the journey even more meaningful.” 

#25

I wonder if this is actually coming from women who married rich men, or rather from women in relationships where money is the primary source of disagreement. From my experience, the main takeaway is marry someone with whom you’re on the same page with about finances. And make sure both of you are transparent about your money, financial goals, and boundaries before combining them.

#26

I divorced him 🤷‍♀️.

#27

I married the one who is kind and is hard working enough I knew I would never have to worry where my next meal would come from. And now we have a very good possibility of moving from middle class to “rich” in the next few years.

So the takeaway? While love is beautiful, independence is essential. The two don’t have to cancel each other out. In fact, they work best together. Build your emotional and financial self side by side. That’s when relationships thrive, when you’re not trapped, but choosing each other daily. That’s a real partnership.

Well, these posts definitely highlight just how important financial independence can be. What do you think—would you feel comfortable relying entirely on your partner, or do you prefer having your own savings as a safety net? We’d love to hear your take, so tell us in the comments below!

#28

My step-mother regrets having left her first husband for my father for financial security.

#29

I would just like to point out that there are a*****e partners in all classes, whether they have money or not. So you should choose your partner based on his values, on how he solves problems, check if he’s genuinely a good person and if he will treat you right and with respect at all times.

My grandpa (my mom’s father) was rich. He became successful after marrying my grandma, and he was the best husband, the best father, always came home with goodies for all members of the family, whether that was food, toys, etc.

Money isn’t the problem, the man is. You could marry a poor man who’s also controlling and a*****e. So be safe.

#30

When I married my husband he was planning to do a totally different career than he is in now. He ended up going back to school for accounting. He was a cop when we got married. He makes so much more money now and it’s never been for him. He does not care about material things, he just wants us to be happy and he wants to travel. He doesn’t want our daughters to have student loans. He is truly such a hardworking, selfless person.

My field has a ceiling for what my income can be unless I start my own business (which I have no desire to do). We always assumed I’d work until retirement with him, but now that his income has grown so much and we have kids, I’ll go part-time and then stop all together whenever it works out with my employer (who is amazing, which is why I don’t just demand it immediately–she’d make it work, but it would be inconvenient). It’s backwards because our kids will both be in school by the time I quit working, and most people stop working to enjoy their kids. I would’ve liked to, but we wouldn’t have gotten to this point if I had. He is supportive because he has seen how my field has burnt me out.

It’s wild because I love to do fun stuff with our kids, I like nice things, I want a pretty house and slowly those things are happening more and more even though I feel like I’m not doing more or better. I don’t know why he likes me so much but I’m so glad he does. I try to do what I can and be appreciative, but I’m so tired after work and rallying to try to be a fun mom after school. Marrying for love over money worked out really well for me. I think if you’re happy with someone without the money you won’t miss it. If it comes later that’s a nice bonus. If you marry for money you’ll earn every dollar you spend.

#31

My sister married into money. I wouldn’t say rich, but he’s well off. My sister was in a dire situation and was desperate to get out of it. We all know she is using him for money, but he hasn’t caught on yet. He’s very obsessed with his ex-wife. He has 3 kids by her, and my sister can’t stand them. .

#32

I often feel like I accidentally ended up doing this but idk

I was married for six years and it was kind of a sham the whole time. Contract marriage, I got pregnant and we tried our best to make it work but it just… never did. Very prolonged separation- I’m talking years here of sleeping in separate rooms and trying to make it work for our daughter.

At some point a person I was extremely close to in the past reached out and just put it all on the line, but he was a mess and very financially unstable. I just kept thinking I couldn’t be starting out again with very little resources and also potentially have to take care of another person.

I say I “kind of” chose that because I chose to stay in my stable environment out of comfort. I did eventually leave and the person I’m with now and I are solidly middle class (which may as well be rich for me, I recently found out no one in my entire family growing up ever made more than $50k a year…) however when we met we were both pretty poor. I just wasn’t worried that he would need to rely on me.

Maybe that’s my line, idk. Poor is whatever, I’ve always been poor. I don’t think I’m interested in someone actually rich. But I need to know my partner can take care of themselves at least at the basic level that I can take care of myself.

#33

It’s a lonely life, but it’s an easy life.

#34

Unpopular opinion: I didn’t, but I honestly think it’s a legitimate reason — as long as women don’t have the economic means to the same extent that men have them I think it is a pretty good reason. Most even like the man they marry for the money. It can work and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Calling some women “gold diggers” shouldn’t be an insult but a compliment.

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