Sometimes our mind just wanders off in the weirdest ways. It may happen when driving yourself home without realizing, pouring juice instead of milk into your coffee, or getting frustrated with a door that doesn’t unlock because it’s the neighbor’s door.
These little mishaps occur due to a brain mode known as autopilot, which enables us to carry on doing tasks without consciously being aware of them. What’s more, we can perform tasks pretty reasonably, and it’s somewhat of a superhuman power we all share.
Other times, however, our autopilot brain takes us to more uncharted terrains. So we do things so weird and funny that you wonder how on earth they just happened. Read on for some of the funniest and weirdest stories from people who have been there and done that, as shared in response to this Ask Reddit thread.
Also, be sure to scroll down for Bored Panda’s interview with Dr. Gleb Tsipursky, the best-selling author and CEO of Disaster Avoidance Experts who shared some interesting insights about our brain’s autopilot.
- Read More: 45 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done
#1
Someone knocked on the bathroom stall door to check if it was available. I said come in.
Image credits: IAmMrsnowballs
#2
Pulled into my complex, walked up the stairs, my keys wouldn’t open the door and then I realized it had been seven years since I had lived there.
Image credits: anon
#3
Meeting my brother’s in-laws for the first time. They asked me what my name was. I said “Pete”. My name is Tiffani.
Image credits: tiffaniac
#4
Someone knocked at my door and i knocked back…
Image credits: anon
#5
I ordered a meatlong football from subway. I then got upset when the dude had no idea what I wanted.
Then we both laughed.
Image credits: SalletFriend
#6
Spent ages cooking dinner only to pick the plate up and empty it straight into the bin. I was so tired and hungry, I cried
Image credits: jefferlewpew
#7
Loaded up my toothbrush with toothpaste and proceeded to brush my hair with it instead of my teeth
Image credits: em_hoo
#8
I drove a city bus in college. My route and my commute home had a road that overlapped. Driving home from work one night I ended up doing my bus route instead of my commute home and didn’t realize it until I ended up in the bus terminal at the end of the line. I guess it was better than driving into my apartment complex with the city bus.
Image credits: JetDrew
#9
When I was in school (6th grade I think) my mom would make my bagged lunch. She would wrap soda cans with aluminum foil so they would stay cold (pretty sure that doesn’t work). One day I un-wrapped my soda and discovered she packed me a beer that day.
#10
Was taking my belt off at airport security. After I unbuckled, I momentarily thought I was in the bathroom and started unzipping. Stopped myself half a second before I pulled everything down.
#11
When my daughter was first born I would find myself burping the dog
Image credits: whats_my_username16
#12
I’m a security guard for Amazon and I have to do bathroom checks. Caught myself yelling “SECURITY!” right before going to the restroom at a bar on my day off. Thank God it was empty.
#13
grabbing my keys, phone, wallet, etc. before work.
why is there a tv remote in my car?
the etc. included the tv remote
Image credits: EarlCampbellsMeat
#14
Accidentally put my phone in the toaster.
Figured it out when I noticed that I was tapping on a piece of bread.
Image credits: vanzgalla
#15
When I was little I had 2 bird pets. One day I was holding one with my right hand and playing with the bird. Some time later I got myself a lollipop and was licking on it. Eventually I had been holding both of them at the same time. Now guess what I licked.
Image credits: Kanden95
#16
I filled my car with gas and, when I got home, realized that I had not paid. I went back to the station and told the clerk what I had done. She thought she was missing a payment but the station was really busy at the time so she wasn’t exactly sure. I paid for my stolen gas and went about my way.
I also walked into the convenience store next to my work, grabbed a Gatorade out of the cooler and walked out the door. I realized what I did when I got back to work. Went back and paid for that, too.
TLDR; I steal things.
#17
Put toothpaste on my razor and almost went to town on my mouth.
Image credits: TurboThetard
#18
My mother was sitting on the sofa. 7-month-old son was sitting in the highchair, waiting for lunch.
I walked in with his bib in my hand and proceeded to tie it around my mother’s neck.
#19
Post Duty ER. Was already home and asleep. Mom woke me up for dinner, saying “Food’s gonna get cold”, thought I heard “code”, so I jumped up and shouted “where?” And ran down to the dining area only to realize I was at home.
#20
My dog eats in my room, which is across the house from the kitchen, and she gets a mix of wet and dry food that I mix up with a fork. So I get her wet food, get halfway to my room, realize I’ve forgotten the fork. Go back to the kitchen, get a fork, get halfway back to my room and realize I’ve forgotten the food. Go back to the kitchen, set the fork down, forget entirely what I’m doing, go back to my room to a very sad and confused puppy. Pour her dry food into her bowl, go to the kitchen, leave the bowl on the counter and go turn on the TV. Walk back in fifteen minutes later, see the bowl, fork and food sitting on the counter, feel like a dunce and apologize to the puppy. Repeat 2-3 times a week.
#21
Opening a Mozzarella cheese stick for my daughter, threw away the actual cheese stick and gave her the wrapper.
#22
Once while playing an intense board game, I was concentrating so hard that my buddy realized that he could just hand random things to me and I’d take them and put them in my jacket pocket or place them on the table in front of me. I only realized when I ran out of space to put things.
#23
Lose my phone in my hand while in the middle of a call.
Image credits: Thehelpfulshadow
#24
I used to work in a call center and would answer my personal phone with my call center speech.
Image credits: CXDFlames
#25
I used to work at the airport while in college, and one day I went to get groceries and drove 30 mins to the airport instead.
Image credits: Protodeus
#26
Put my phone in the fridge to “charge”
Image credits: Cactus_octopus
#27
Raising my hand to voice my opinion while in a conversation not at school.
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Image credits: anon
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