Article created by: Indrė Lukošiūtė
The first day at a new job can be extremely overwhelming. Remembering names, learning protocol, trying to keep up with a new, fast-paced environment and maintaining your cool while simultaneously convincing your boss and yourself that you’ll be able to juggle all of your new responsibilities is a lot.
But not everyone can handle the pressure of starting a new job, and unfortunately, some people manage to lose their positions just as quickly as they earned them. Redditors have recently been sharing stories of the fastest ways people have ever been fired, so we’ve gathered some of their most shocking and entertaining anecdotes below. Enjoy reading through and feeling grateful that you’ve managed to hold down a job, and be sure to upvote the stories you can’t believe actually happened!
#1
First day at work he took one look at his would-be boss and declared “I won’t work under a woman”. So he was shown the door.
Image credits: huiscloslaqueue
#2
Hired a bunch for temp workers for data entry. Friday a young woman (21+yo to work for this agency) no shows to work, so I call temp agency and they send a replacement at noon.
Monday morning the young woman shows up and tells me that Friday her friends were going to the beach and she thought it was unfair that they had day off while she had to work. So she “Skipped”. That is a real quote, “Skipped” like ditching school.
Told her she was already fired on Friday, to go home.
Then she says her mom dropped her off and she had not ride till 5pm. (In a city, so there was public transport available)
Told her “Sorry, in the adult world you have to clean up your own messes. bye.”
Image credits: MrRGG
#3
Had a supervisor start selling Amway from his office, hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy. Reported him to HR – and when they asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something. Fired on the spot.
Image credits: walkingknight
#4
First day at work, hired by a temp agency. Me and one other guy, we put stuff in boxes and tape them shut, stack boxes on a pallet. He can’t keep up, can barely use a tape gun and decides it’s time for a break. Goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch. It was the boss’s lunch, he stole the guy’s meal his wife prepared for him. The boss man came over 15 mins later and wants to know who ate his BBQ, sticky fingers, and BBQ on his shirt he denies it. I just look at him and the Boss and said well I hope it was good man..
Image credits: BigNotGay420
#5
Dude’s first day, on a team next to mine gets an assignment, as soon as the lead leaves the area he leans over to another guy and threatens that if he doesn’t do his work for him he’s going to do something. I got up to the managers, we walked over and escorted him out. He was there all of 2 hours. On his way out he’s knocking over chairs and screaming that he’ll be “waiting for us in the parking lot”.
Image credits: Marmoticon
#6
Had a coworker explain to our supervisor how he found this great loophole for making extra money: if a customer had exact change, he’d just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register.
Image credits: DudebroggieHouser
#7
Working security at a concert venue. Coworker confiscated a mini bottle of Fireball that someone snuck in, and then he drank it in front of everyone. Instantly went from confiscation (part of the job) to stealing and also drinking on the job.
Image credits: Red-Dwarf69
#8
A colleague let a middle school kid drive the bus. Buh-bye!
Image credits: Useful_Exchange3583
#9
I was a police instructor. I was driving down a road to deliver some stuff (mid shift) and I saw headlights in the opposite lane not moving toward me. I slowed down, then noticed it was a marked unit. I stopped next to it and the officer was asleep…in the middle of the road, unit in park, mouth open asleep!
Image credits: Chasing_Lisa
#10
Within two weeks a new hire was found sleeping in the middle of a fort of inventory he made. They walked him out immediately.
Image credits: DoubleShoryuken
#11
Worked at an ISP back in the 90s and had a guy working late shift. Found out quickly he wasn’t answering the phone at all, but just playing video games. He was warned. Next day he walks in to work with a Voodoo2 graphics card to install in his work computer to improve the game playing. Fired before he sat down.
Image credits: Beestung
#12
He filmed from under the door of the women’s bathroom. I don’t understand how it’s possible to do this.
Image credits: Some_Ad_8070
#13
A co worker came to work drunk, and when his supervisor started reprimanding him ,he (co worker) threw up on him.
Image credits: November3422
#14
Saw someone in a customer service/intake position gone in about 15 minutes. They had specifically been hired to take Spanish speaking calls, and had told the company she was bilingual im English/Spanish.
She couldn’t actually speak any Spanish. Not sure how she faked her way through the interview.
Image credits: IsilZha
#15
Work for a large big box. We brought on a new hire last week. Three days into the workweek, we noticed either he didn’t have a radio or he just didn’t know how to operate it. He was clocking in for work, out/in for lunches, & clocking out for the day. It turned out he was arriving to clock in, leaving until lunch, clocking out & leaving again, returning to satisfy the clock again, leaving, & then returning yet again to clock out for the day. Three days he did this. A new hire. His lead was also given a meeting as they weren’t doing due diligence & trying to find him.
Image credits: jackapplecore
#16
Worked in a restaurant and when the table wanted to return their Mai Tai the server chugged it right in front of them and said “it tastes fine.”
Image credits: ThatsRubbishMate
#17
I work at a local grocery store and one day we had a new hire in the bakery department. Her first day comes around and she no-called and no-showed for her first day…then a few days later comes in and shops like nothing happened 💀
Image credits: LonelyDragonborn
#18
Was caught stealing money out of the register in the first hour of him even touching the thing. On a related note, had another co-worker get fired for the same thing within the last two hours of his final shift. $50 in small bills and loose coins really brings out the worst in some people.
Image credits: Sea-Kitchen3779
#19
I work with special needs individuals. A coworker of mine who had started 3 days prior got fired for getting into a fight…with one of the special needs individuals.
Image credits: ThirstyWeirwoodRootz
#20
The guy responsible for opening the shop on Saturday morning went out and got blitzed on Friday night. We showed up to work to find his car in the lot but the doors locked. He didn’t answer his phone. Had to call the owner in to get us inside.
Guy was fast asleep, under his desk.
He was gone before you could say hangover.
Image credits: davisherm
#21
I worked at the head office of a well known retailer. One day we had a temp on the reception desk and no one realised that the bottle of water on her desk was, well…not water. As the day went on the tannoy announcements got worse, just stumbling through names and slurring. Needless to say everyone thought this was funny, not realising that she was bladdered and not just funny at the job. Come the end of the day though, she gets into her car and attempts to drive out of the car park, bouncing off cars and eventually coming to a halt on a grass verge.
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Image credits: MrSpindles
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