Article created by: Austėja Akavickaitė
‘Nice guy’ is an informal term in Internet discourse, describing a man with a fixation on a friendship building over time into a romance or for his kindness to be rewarded… Often, a ‘nice guy’ tries to provide a woman with emotional support when she is having difficulties with another male partner, positioning himself as the perfect alternative. Someone who “would never do such a thing.” Someone who “respects” her.
However, when they get rejected, ‘nice guys’ can’t take it. The possibility of ending up involuntarily celibate threatens their ego, so they safeguard it by retaliating against women, saying it’s all their fault. “Girls only like a bad boy”, they think. “Nice guys finish last.”
Most of us know that. But what happens when they actually get a chance? Well, Reddit user Between3and20eh decided to find out. They asked the women who have let ‘nice guys’ into their lives what it was like. Luckily, their call was answered, and Between3and20eh’s post has received over 1,000 comments. Here are some of them.
#1
He went out bowling with his friends and then when he came home he complained to me that for the first time in his life a hot girl had hit on him while he was out, and he was unlucky enough to actually have a girlfriend. He seemed genuinely sad he had to turn her down, and expected me to be greatful he did it.
#2
We fell in love and got married. I did EVERYTHING for him, cooked, cleaned, did the gardening, took out the bins, sorted all the household stuff like bills and stuff, nursed him after a major surgery, ironed his shirts and made him packed lunches. In return he’d remind me how lucky I was he wasn’t one of those terrible guys who went out drinking all the time and that I was so lucky to have such a nice guy. He left me for a friend of mine and screwed me over financially by taking the bulk of our savings… I’ve now realised I don’t want “nice”, I’ve gotten myself a “bad boy” who also happens to be a “good man”. Sexy and thrilling but with a heart of gold.
Image credits: Still-Waters-ASMR
#3
He was a friend of a friend. We went on a date, and it just didn’t click.
Last thing I heard from him was a long rant about how immigrants were stealing his chance to get a girlfriend “because girls like being mistreated by evil muslims, and the nice guy is forever alone”. That’s when I felt like I dodged a bullet.
Image credits: anonymous
#4
Dated the ‘nice guy’ of my friend group because he was really interested in me and all my friends wanted me to give him a chance. I endured 6 months of him requesting my location at all times and showing up unannounced and uninvited when I was on nights out.
He claimed his behaviour was because he ‘had never dated someone as pretty as me’. Never again.
Image credits: therainandclouds
#5
Got another girl pregnant, a month before our wedding. But “he’s such a nice guy”.
Image credits: Lisags23
#6
Met him on Tinder and we went out to eat. He insisted on paying for it since I drove out there. We started dating and I remember thinking about 9 months in that we had never argued (quite opposite of my last relationship). We moved in together and adopted a dog together. The other day, we got in an argument and I realize that we have had arguments, he just actually talks about it instead of yelling. We close on a house and will reach our two year mark in a few weeks. I’m so glad I went against my normal type. I love him so much
#7
Went on and on about what a great, compassionate guy he was. He was actually just your garden variety, abusive psycho.
He once said to me: “I wish you had been abused so you would realise how great I am”. What the hell. Who says that?!
Image credits: OhNoMyKeys
#8
He became abusive emotionally, I became pregnant, he insisted I keep it. My son is 8 and he’s seen him once.
Image credits: foundmymark
#9
I basically only matched with this guy on Tinder because he had a funny picture I wanted to comment on. The conversation was actually very pleasant and he asked me to have coffee. I figured I could use a friend.
He was super nice on our date, and even though I didn’t find him attractive originally, him being so nice to me made me interested. I kind of felt like I had seen the light; maybe I should just date someone who is nice to me instead of just going after looks!
Very long story short; I ended up moving to another country for him. He became very controlling, moody and aggressive. It turned into an abusive relationship (emotionally and physically) and I don’t trust my own judgement anymore.
Image credits: anonymous
#10
I ended up filing a police report and moving apartments because he didn’t take it well when I broke up with him. He spent hours outside my apartment demanding an explanation, because he just couldn’t understand that I didnt want to he with him anymore. He was convinced someone had talked me into ending it, and if I would just hear him out I’d change my mind. Took 3 visits from the cops and a change of address before he got the message.
Image credits: jl370
#11
He was always nice to me but very easily jealous anytime another guy spoke to me. We were just friends and only went out once yet he felt like he needed to make me feel bad whenever other guys gave me a little attention. He also had a horrible drinking problem and serious anger issues. And the whole time he was trying to woo me, he was also hooking up with his ex and ended up getting her pregnant. So yeah, no regrets about that.
Image credits: lyn90
#12
All the guys I have known or dated that felt it necessary to label themselves “nice guys” turned out to absolutely awful humans. Either they had a bad temper, horrible morals, or just didn’t want to take “no” for answer. One even turned out to be an emotionally abusive alcoholic.
The actual nicest guys I’ve dated or called friends were the ones who didn’t feel the need to label themselves “nice guy”. In fact, the best of them usually warned me and others that they were not all that nice, but always turned out to be the sweetest, most understanding, appreciative, and kind guys I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.
Image credits: missunderstood80
#13
Went on two dates. He tried to drop by my work to ‘surprise me’ after the first one. Thought that was weird, but I was 19 and not wise to the ways of the world yet. On the second date, I told him that he seemed nice, but I wasn’t feeling it.
Dude started SCREAMING at me to the extent that strangers had to intervene because he was using foul language and tried to grab my arm. To this day I’m glad I ended whatever that was in a public place, I have no doubt he would have gotten violent if it had been otherwise.
#14
He emotionally manipulated me and then cheated on me and got the girl pregnant. Never again.
Image credits: lilbebe50
#15
He was charming, smart, funny, and successful. The personification of Southern Gentleman with an adorable “I can’t technology” quirk. Lovely southern accent.
Managed to “accidentally” block me for months at a time, repeatedly, on phones that didn’t have a blocking capability. Wouldn’t tell me where he lived after almost a year. He didn’t even want me to go to his city for a night out. “It’s the man’s job to come to the lady.”
I dumped him, not because I thought he was cheating on me, but aside from the constant “oh I accidentally blocked you,” I came to the conclusion he was using me to cheat on a wife or long-term partner and wanted no part of that.
Image credits: anonymous
#16
He told everyone we had slept together on the first date, in the cinema when obviously we had not. Then he went to a house party without me and shared a bed with a near naked girl and bragged to me about it. He was really angry when I dumped him for it and went out with his best friend and did the whole ‘left again for a bad guy when I was nothing but nice to you’
Image credits: anonymous
#17
Turned out to be an awful human being. Was a nice shy guy at first but upon getting into a serious relationship that was just for the public. Behind closed doors was a very insecure person. He had decent looks but was short and skinny with glasses. I didnt mind and never used that against him but it affected his confidence and he took it out on everyone else. Even after trying to work on it for months and always reassuring him he ended up cheating on me several times and then hid behind the nice guy victim thing. Went and told everyone that I was out of his league and just using him as a place to live and I had been the one cheating which wasnt true. I moved out and got my own place immediately to proceed I could and cut all ties.
Image credits: polariskai
#18
He said he would kill him self if I didn’t go out with him I didn’t and he’s still alive actually has a girlfriend too
Image credits: anonymous
#19
Unfortunately we dated for 7 years too long. I was his first girlfriend (we were in college) and he was the sweetest guy ever; not a mean bone in his body. My parents loved him, friends loved him, his family loved me, and everyone thought he was the one because how could he not be? He was so kind, polite, just an all around amazing guy – I loved him but I just never fell in love with him.
From the day we graduated, he really dialed it up a notch and everything he did revolved around wanting to “take care” of me. He just wanted to do everything for me so that I didn’t have to. He got a great job right out of college, bought a house, was making great money for the both of us and …I don’t know. It really made me feel like I couldn’t be my own person or my own success story and that could never be if we stayed together.
I ended up being the one to break up with him. The entire world hated me for it but I made it easy for our mutual friends and just saw my own way out of our social circles. I got a lot of “how could you do this to him?” “How could you be so cruel?” and they were right in that I should have listened to my gut earlier and ended it years ago. In everyone’s minds, there was no justifiable reason why I would do that to such a great guy. To someone so perfect.
But in the end, I knew I wasn’t perfect for him. We went our own ways and he ended up marrying a wonderful woman, from what I’ve heard, and I married my now-husband. Today is our 1 year anniversary and we have a baby on the way, due in April. As he sleeps soundly next to me, I am so thankful that I made the decision I did. I can’t tell you how scary it is to think about what my life would have been like had I stayed. It terrifies me to think I wouldn’t have what I have now.
Image credits: jukesy
#20
He proposed to me after we worked on a group project. When I turned down this guy I barely knew and definitely never dated he stalked and harrassed me for about half a year until he found his next “true love”. He was a serial proposer.
- You might also like: 22 Reasons Why People Ended Things With These Men That Seem Small, Yet Are Important
Image credits: a-little-sleepy
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