Getting stopped by airport security is no laughing matter. It can make your hair stand on end, even if you know you aren’t carrying anything illegal. What if someone planted something in your luggage when you weren’t looking? We’ve seen enough stories and movies about people doing jail time abroad for this kind of thing.
I was once stopped in very dramatic fashion by Atlanta’s airport security. It was just a few years after 9/11, so they weren’t taking any chances. Me, being naive and young, reached forward to open my bag for them. Only to be met by a loud order to “step away right now!” As a thousand thoughts ran through my mind, we soon discovered that the highly suspicious items were a few big wedding magazines I’d bought during my time in the city. Needless to say, I was allowed to put my socks and shoes back on, my luggage was released and I eventually boarded the plane.
Airport security is there to keep us all safe. Searching “suspicious” bags is all part of the parcel. But sometimes it’s a hit or miss. Someone once asked those working in the industry, “What’s the weirdest but still legal thing you found in someone’s bag?” and the answers ranged from bizarre to hilarious to downright embarrassing.
Bored Panda has put together a list of our favorites for you to scroll through while you plan your next dream trip. We also reveal the top items confiscated by the Transportation Security Administration last year. You’ll find that between the images.
#1
I was travelling for work once, I am a freelance technical director, and my son had put a large Jolly Roger sticker on my hard shell laptop case. He was going through his pirate phase. I was opening the case up to put the laptop in a tray for the scanner when the TSA screamed at me to stop. He activated some kind of Purple alert and in seconds I was swarmed by TSA agents and local LEOs.
After much explaining it was revealed the TSA guy saw the Jolly Roger skull and crossbones and thought I was carrying human remains.
Katzekratzer:
I read this as Jolly Rancher in both parts and was so, so confused!
Image credits: LOUDCO-HD
#2
Not an airport security worker, but the security agents in Berlin were concerned that some rocks I had in my backpack (why buy a souvenir when you can just take a rock?) were pieces of the Berlin Wall.
SiTheGreat:
They actually sell them at the gift shops. Pretty cheap too.
Image credits: mrdarcyslaw
#3
My landlady in college was the stereotypical harmless looking little white haired grandma. She made some ceramic pistols so one of her grandkids could have them on the wall as part of a pirate-themed bedroom redesign. The world had changed since she had flown anywhere so she didn’t think twice about tucking them into a carry-on bag. Hilarity ensued.
DancingBear2020:
Imagine the embarrassment for the security guy to find out it’s clay after opening it in front of everyone.
Image credits: DancingBear2020
#4
Passenger here. I used to work for a tech firm that made very strange electronics for the government/military. I’d occasionally fly with a small weird box that is filled with electronics and slabs of strange materials. Ok to x-ray, but looks decidedly odd in an x-ray machine (like contains odd shaped pieces of metal that are totally opaque to x-rays).
Couldn’t be checked because it’s delicate. So I’d pull it out of carry-on and put it in a tray. They’d always want to check it and know what it was. It wasn’t dangerous, but actually saying what it was in a security line could cause trouble.
I’d just pull out Id and paperwork, and point to the property tags on it and say “it’s (military agency) property, it’s harmless, it’s very delicate, and costs about a years salary. You guys examine it however you want – Worst case I’ll just get paid to make another one and double the profit.”
Nobody ever wanted to touch it.
Image credits: drhunny
#5
Not a TSA agent, but last time I flew I was bringing chalk pastels home because I do a bit of art. They asked what they were, I said they were chalk pastels in a box that was clearly labeled “chalk pastels”
The box was opened upside down, spilling all of my chalk pastels on the table and coating the entire table in bright chalk dust, which does not wash off very easily.
Image credits: DepressedBagel
#6
Slightly unrelated, but it’s a funny story.
I was flying back from Milan. the security worker stopped my dad’s bag after the X-ray machine, and said there’s some sort of liquid or gel in there. So he searches through the bag and eventually pulls out what he saw in the machine – a jar of Nutella. Now, he’s probably a proud Italian and loves his Nutella, because I never seen a more devastated face in my life once he realized he needs to confiscate our Nutella. He started apologizing like crazy, “Oh no, I am so sorry…” and so on.
DachshundLuv:
I’d be devastated too, I’ve heard European Nutella is better than what we can get stateside and I freaking LOVE Nutella.
Image credits: TiBiDi
#7
Back in the 90’s, my friend who was a professional square dance caller and traveled all the time to call dances would get hassled all the time going through security. At that time square dance music was exclusively on vinyl 45’s. He had a special suitcase that held the nearly 200 records he traveled with. It weighed a ton when loaded but in the X-ray nothing shows up. Our local airport got to know him quickly, but he got real tired deplaning in new cities and having to explain again what it was.
Image credits: KingOHrts
#8
I had a bottled snake confiscated from me when arriving in NZ from Vietnam. I understood completely and didn’t argue with them as it only cost me about $4. The biggest surprise was receiving it in the mail 2 weeks later with a letter justifying it by saying the snake wasn’t endangered.
Image credits: lalv91
#9
From the passenger side – the missus got me a Jerry-can bag thing – essentially a 20l jerry can, cut in half with a hinge and wheels added. I checked everywhere i could to make sure it was allowed to go on the plane.
The only problem was every time i went through security, the agent pulled it out and made me unpack it because the scanning machine couldn’t resolve the contents clearly enough.
So, unpacked, and re-packed three times on the way there, and three times on the way back.
Without fail they all said it was a cool bag though.
Image credits: I_Am_Albert_Potato
#10
I take 100+ flights a year on business, and have carried the same basic content in my same toiletry bag for 8+ years of doing this. Never had an issue — until the time flying back from Cancun to Atlanta, the Mexican version of the TSA confiscated my tiny fingernail clippers. The reason (she says) is the one-inch file attached “could be a weapon”. Tired and frustrated, I raised my voice to argue a little bit, and am immediately ringed by three armed guards — one even pointing his rifle at me! I somehow managed to get up the gall to bend the file back and forth a few times until it snapped off, handed it to her, and put the rest of the clippers back into my bag, smiling. I still carry around that file-less clipper.
#11
The guy in front of me when I was going to fly to Milwaukee had a tuba strapped to his back, and refused to take it off.
A tuba.
Image credits: Shadow-Seeker
#12
Once when I was traveling out of Thailand, the boarding desk had told my family to deflate our basketball because it might burst due to high pressure. We stated we would gladly deflate the ball but we couldn’t without tools. The man promptly grabbed the ball out of my hands and I started crying. (I was 7 at the time) He walked to the side, grabbed a pair of scissors from the desk and stabbed my basketball multiple times.
Image credits: Phooled
#13
My wife and I were leaving for our honeymoon. One of our friends thought it would be funny to put a large bottle of lube in my carryon. TSA guy checking bags for explosives, etc, pulls it out, tries not to smile, checks its for explosives and puts it back in our bag. Wife was mortified. I thought it was hilarious.
#14
Not a worker but probably my bag. My friends kids decided to pack me part of their rock collection and several small crafts. Apparently not wanted to have them broken they padded out the pouch they were in with maxi pads. Security was not impressed that I had no idea what was in my bag and couldn’t explain it.
Image credits: Polyfuckery
#15
When my parents were visiting me in Uganda, my dad accidentally brought a half-size machete through the security check. He had bought it before they went to the airport as a souvenir for my uncle. They found it in his carry on. They asked him what he was doing with it. When he told them, they put it back in the carry on and said make sure you check it when you get to Brussels. Have a good flight!
#16
I had a can of tobacco confiscated under the premises that it looked dangerous. I think the. TSA guy just didn’t want to buy his own tin.
Image credits: anon
#17
I traveled through the states a few years back. Bought one of those 4 inch long pieces of the golden gate bridges (old strands of the cables: [LINK] – I’m a bridge engineer, so it fits).
Anyway, given it’s a solid lump of metal I knew that it’d get pinged in the X-ray, so I purposely packed it into my carry on so I could explain it.
Sure enough, lots of action when my bag goes through the machine. Questions of “what’s in your bag”. Looks of disbelief when I say “a piece of the golden gate bridge”. They pull it out – SWIPE IT FOR EXPLOSIVE MATERIAL (seriously?) – before saying (once it had come back as a negative test), “this is heavy, you might attack someone with it. Go put it in your checked luggage”.
FFS.
Image credits: knownbymymiddlename
#18
Not a security guard, but once my jacket was flagged because they had seen a ton of loose pills in my pocket. I got paranoid that someone had put them there only to remember that I had been putting my tiny crafted paper rolls in my pocket. I explained I made them out of anxiety and showed them the slip of paper from which I made them. They laughed, unrolled the “pills” and kept some.
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Image credits: Status-Complaint
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