There is something fundamentally human about making a variety of mistakes, big and small, while dating. That’s probably why most of our romantic endeavors aren’t actually success stories. (I mean, if they were, we would have no trouble finding someone to spend the rest of our lives with, right?) So if we judged even the slightest slip-ups our matches made, I think we’d end up alone, with only our sour memories to keep us company.

The tricky part is finding the balance between the words and behaviors we can turn a blind eye to and the ones we should not tolerate. Luckily, there’s a Reddit post that might give us a better idea of locating that line.

Created by user HorizontalInterrupt, it asked “Women who gave the ‘creep’ a chance, how did it go?” The post’s comment section is full of personal experiences, listing the many red flags you might want to take notice of.

However, I also feel like it’s important to point out that this publication doesn’t mean that all men are evil and you should avoid going out with them. All people have the capacity to do good but, sadly, all are capable of bad things as well. The best we can hope for is that our moral compass will eventually lead us to those we can at least trust.

• Read More: 35 Women Reveal What Happened After They Gave The “Creep” A Chance

#1

He showed up to my house without telling me beforehand and demanded a kiss before he left. He kissed with his eyes open and had cold, dead eyes. He was also a self proclaimed nazi and told me “I don’t like black people, but you’re okay.”

This was in high school so luckily I learned fast to trust my gut when it came to guys.

Image credits: ShadySofa

#2

At the end of a weird and terrible date, he asked me for a hug as I was turning to leave. I thought, “whatever gets this over with.” As I was pulling away, he forcibly grabbed the back of my head and shoved his tongue in my mouth before I was able to break free. The next morning I had a three page email in my inbox telling me all the things that are wrong with me and why he is not interested in a second date.

Image credits: atworkcat

#3

He tried negging me all night and when he asked me how many siblings I have, I told him and included the info that one passed away a few years prior. He asked me if I had killed my sibling.

If they give you the creeps, they’re not worth a chance. Sorry, not sorry.

Image credits: forgetfuljones79

#4

It’s been over a decade now and he’s still harassing me on every online platform he can find me on. He sends me incel memes about being rejected. Luckily we are not in the same city anymore (that I know of)

Image credits: summacumloudly

#5

I walked in on him peeing in my washing machine after letting him in my home for some reason

Image credits: K1lg0reTr0ut

#6

He got very obsessed with me, I had to be straight up rude to get him to leave me alone because he wouldn’t understand when I asked nicely.

He later self harmed on his own wrists and went around telling people to ask me why he did that

Edit : might be relevant, but I was 17 and he was 26

Image credits: smolbibeans

#7

He invited me to dinner with his friends. Well, his friends happened to be his entire family and they were already halfway through their meal when I arrived (on time).

Then, when I tried to excuse myself to leave, he insisted on following me out to the parking lot and physically would not let me get into my car. As I reached for the handle, he grabbed me by the face and stuck his tongue in my mouth.

This was easily 10 years ago and I still shudder thinking about it.

Image credits: k8m4

#8

I had a bad vibe but my friend told me he was a “good guy.” So we went on a date and he asked to drive my car. He curbed my rims and talked about how he was fired unfairly from his job. The next weekend I avoided his calls and instead went out to dinner with friends. While I was gone, he broke into my apartment. My neighbors and the cops were waiting outside when I got home. I spent the night at my moms, he showed up at 0300 when the my let him out and was trying to get in a window. Wonderful officer spent the rest of the night in the driveway. Fast forward a couple weeks and he shows up at my work, mopes over to me and hands me folded papers.

It was 8-10 handwritten front and back notebook papers where he alternated between telling me I was the love of his life to why he hated me and wished I would die. I was terrified, security escorted him away.

Never saw him again but found out later he did the same thing to some girl in Spokane but he was able to actually get in, beat her and landed her in the hospital.

EDIT: The friend was dating my best-friend and the “good guy” was his cousin. I think he really wanted us to hit it off so the 4 of us could all hang out together or something?? He was shocked by the actions of his cousin but did tell me later that he had “thought he changed.” They’re not longer dating and haven’t talked to him in years and years! This happened 20 years ago in the PNW.

Image credits: TuesdayWednesdayMe

#9

Met him when I worked as a cashier in a small downtown shop. Wasn’t my type and seemed a little off, but I was young and had zero real dating experience. Agreed to grab coffee as a friend and made it clear I didn’t have a romantic interest. He became convinced he was Gatsby and I was his Daisy (the Great Gatsby film had just come out that year). Started stalking me and endlessly sending letters and gifts to me at work describing how we were fated to be together. When I confronted him to stop, he started having his friends follow me at work or drop by to “check in” on me. Prowled outside on nights I had to close shop alone. I ended up quitting that job and things fizzled. Seven months later I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. It was the same dude — he just got released from a short prison sentence and was letting me know he thought of me every day and was going to find me so we could finally be together. I made up a story that I was travelling abroad for college and would be gone indefinitely. Changed my number and luckily haven’t heard from him again!

Image credits: justascrolling

#10

I met a guy during a chemistry contest in another city. We were on the same team so I was friendly. He found my address in the registration docs somehow and showed up in front of my building next week at 10 p.m. at night. He was hysterical on the phone and told me ‘you will have to go out at some point and I will be waiting to take you with me.’ Luckily, my dad and uncle scared him away. He texted me one to two times after that to insult me, but that was it

Image credits: Fairy-Smurf

#11

Back in High School several of my female friends and I (also female) had an off period before lunch, so we were all sitting around a table chatting. One of the female security guards came up to us and told me that there was a new exchange student from Amsterdam that thought I was cute, but he was too nervous to come over and introduce himself. I have zero interest in men, but I figured there wasn’t any harm in letting the guy come sit with us and helping him feel more comfortable at our school.

So he comes over, sits down with us, and chats a bit. He seemed rather shy, and he had about a dozen piercings going up each arm that he kept fiddling with (and a bunch of facial piercings). Then class lets out and people, including a bunch of my male friends, start showing up for lunch. First male friend sits down and introduces himself. New guy doesn’t not respond AT ALL, doesn’t even look at friend. Weird. Maybe just shy? Second male friend comes and sits down. Same thing. Slightly unsettling now. We kept trying to include him over lunch but he would ONLY respond to the women. Wouldn’t even acknowledge the other guys at the table.

I never talked to him again after that lunch period and two weeks later he got expelled for slamming a girl against a locker and choking her to the point she nearly passed out.

Image credits: Katy-L-Wood

#12

On our first date, he told me he loved me and that he would let me pick out the color of our house. The rest of the evening was super awkward. I never talked to him again.

Image credits: willingtoeatsushi

#13

We got married, three children later and I’ve never been more miserable

Image credits: _savs

#14

Did one video chat with him during which he asked if he could (video) call me again later in the day. When I told him “no I’ll be busy” I started getting random text messages throughout my day that said “are you okay? Just let me know you’re okay”. The first I responded to, I said “hey — yeah, I’m fine. I just hung up with you 30 minutes ago bud.” He took that as a sign that I wanted to talk more so he attempted another video call. When I didn’t respond, he started again with the texts. Didn’t even bother responding to the rest. Up to 20 unread messages later before I was able to block him while leaving him on read.

Image credits: Wazoo53

#15

He stalked me for almost 8 months, and I still do not want to know how he got my address.

I was 19, he was 31.

​

God, I was so naïve.

Image credits: Cool-Fish1

#16

I gave the creepy guy a chance. I was 21 he was 30. He had me living w him in his moms basement where he sold weed. It was awful and abusive.

Image credits: Jefrica2018

#17

Badly… He became very stalkerish, was very insecure about other men, and tried to isolate me from friends.

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Image credits: Mona_Moans

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