With so many people into legal drama shows, largely thanks to Netflix’s recent crime and justice-oriented repertoire, it’s only fair to get fascinated by the world of lawyers. I mean, who are those smart-looking people snapping out arguments to virtually any statement thrown at them? They surely have some super powers, right?

Well, thanks to this viral thread on r/AskReddit, we may now find out. When Redditor Weseleyalpha asked lawyers of Reddit “what was the ah-ha moment where you knew you won your case?” the responses came rolling in. Below are some of the craziest, most film scenario-worthy stories the legal people have shared.

• Read More: 30 Lawyers Share Stories About The Cases They Had And The Moment They Knew They Won Them

#1

A law professor once told me about a case from decades ago when he was defending a young woman on drugs charges.

In court, his line of defence was basically to tell the truth: this woman had turned to drugs due to trauma and instability in her life, but she was now in a steady loving relationship with another woman. For the first time, she had some peace and security in her life, was genuinely working on overcoming her demons, and was unlikely to re-offend again.

It was a 50-50 proposition on how this would land with the judge….until the prosecutor stood up and started lambasting the two women (the accused and her lover) for lying because “lesbian relationships aren’t real” and similar stuff.

According to the prof, “everyone in the courtroom except the prosecutor could see that the judge was a flaming fruit”, so this did NOT go down well. The judge tore strips off the prosecutor, gave a furious lecture on gay rights, and ended up giving the woman a slap on the wrist and wishing her well with her partner.

Image credits: MisterMarcus

#2

As a young attorney, I had stated a claim that an insurance company was dragging out a case in bad faith, in hopes that my elderly client would die before they had to pay him. I was requesting that the trial date be given priority due to my client’s advanced age. The judge was no spring chicken himself, and seemed skeptical when he asked exactly how old my client was, maybe thinking that he was in his 70s and must merely seem ancient to a baby lawyer like me. When I responded that my client was 92, and the case has already gone on for 5 years, the judge was visibly shocked, and immediately granted my motion for priority, shutting down the insurance company’s attorney’s attempt to respond. They wrote us a check for a million dollars the next week.

#3

I was an attorney for an insurance company defending a lawsuit where the plaintiffs were two girls who claimed they were irreparably harmed and their lives would never be the same because severe back injuries kept them from being active. They forgot to set their Instagram accounts to private and the accounts were full of pictures of them riding jet skis, dancing, and pictures of them at the gym. The underage drinking pictures were just icing on the cake.

Image credits: Zdarnel1

#4

Obligatory, not mine but my Moms story. She was fighting for custody on behalf of the father, trying to prove that the kids were living in subpar conditions with their drug addict mother in spite of the ample child support provided. It was a tough case because courts are so hesitant to pull kids away from their moms. Then the mom burst out that she had been feeding the kids cat food as proof that she wouldn’t let them starve. Needless to say, the judge didn’t take that as a good reason for the kids to stay with their Mom.

Image credits: Keeliekins

#5

Obligatory Not a Lawyer, but I was defending myself against a debt collector for a debt so old I could not even remember for sure that it was mine.

Me to the debt collector: Can you provide the actual contract bearing my signature along with a chain of title to the debt?

Debt collector’s lawyer: Crickets…

I look at the judge.

Judge to lawyer: Well can you?

Debt collector’s lawyer while looking through paperwork: Um…Well… No, not at this time Your Honor.

Judge: Case dismissed.

(Note: To prove that a debt collector owns your debt, they must prove how it came to own it. Often, old debts are sold and resold over and over again to a number of subsequent debt buyers. When this happens, the debt collector must prove each and every assignment by showing a “chain of title” reaching all the way back in history to the original creditor. More often than not, for old debts, it is impossible for the collector to show this.)

#6

My mom is a lawyer and this was a black women who was a accused of stealing. My mother is also black (I’m mixed) and this is how it went.

Plaintiff lawyer:please point out the accused/defendant. Officer: points at my mom Mom:I’m the lawyer, officer. Judge: dismisses case

#7

Personal injury case — woman said she slipped and fell outside of a nail salon because they hadn’t swept up the wet leaves outside the door. In the mail one day, we got a disc — we put it in the computer, and right there is security cam footage of our client picking up the wet leaves, putting them on the sidewalk, and sitting down on them before calling for help.

Image credits: EducatedOwlAthena

#8

Some guy was accused of something — I cannot remember what — but the judge spoke him free because there wasn’t enough evidence he had done it. Guy said, ‘Thank you, judge; I’ll never do it again.’

Image credits: Belgian_friet

#9

Client was charged with aggravated assault (five years possible) for kicking the s**t out of a guy while wearing cowboy boots with those fancy steel ornamental tips on the boots. He wore the boots to his jury trial.

Image credits: RonSwansonsOldMan

#10

My friend was defending a guy who was asleep in the backseat of his car while intoxicated and a NYS Trooper arrested him. On the stand, the trooper testified that he visually saw ‘the key in the ignition.’ My friend gave him like three chances to walk it back. ‘Are you sure, trooper, that you actually saw the key in the ignition?’ He said yes. And then my buddy dropped the hammer, ‘You are aware that my client drives a Toyota Prius?

#11

My sister got t-boned by a car, causing a concussion when I was younger. Long story short, we were in court with the judge, who asked the driver if he had ever sped before.

“No, your honor, I never speed” was his reply.

The judge asked him a couple more times if he was sure, if he never sped. Ever? The driver was adamant that he never sped and never had before.

A few minutes later, my sister’s lawyer gave the judge some paperwork. She read it, and said to the driver, “It seems that you have some past driving violations. Can you tell me what they are for?”

“………… speeding”

The driver had to pay medical bills for my sister.

#12

Not a lawyer but got robbed at gun point in my home. Long story short, he would have gone to prison anyway but the kicker is that the shoes he wore to court were the same shoes he stole from my house. Judge asked if I wanted them back. I said yes. Judge made him take them off in court and walk back in socks. Donated the shoes, it was more about the principle.

#13

I had parked my motorcycle in my driveway. The officer ordered me to remove it, and tried to levy fines for the violation. He went after my landlord and tried to get me evicted. Eventually, I got a lawyer and filed a complaint. When asked to point to the bylaw I was breaking, he did and even read it out, which basically read:

No parking or storing anything in a driveway other than an automobile.

He seriously thought a motorcycle wasn’t an automobile because an automobile is a car.

Image credits: devinple

#14

Dad alleged mom was doing all sorts of things and that he should have the kid. Dad’s attorney grilled mom for about 20 minutes on texts she had sent claiming to sell her prescriptions. She wouldn’t admit it. Dad’s attorney moved on and eventually ended with, ‘One more question. Where did you get the pills you were selling?’ Mom responds without thinking, ‘Oh, my doctor prescribed them.’

Image credits: quelindolio

#15

I once had an appeal where the precedent, all from other circuit courts, was very bad for me. The circuit court I was arguing in front of had a decision that was very good for me, but it was “unpublished” (meaning that it was not precedential). My goal was to convince the court to follow its unpublished decision, not the decisions of the other circuits.

During my argument I cited the unpublished decision. One of the judges interrupts me and asks, “but wasn’t that decision unpublished?” I answered “yes, but it was well-reasoned.” He replied with a self-effacing quip, “I was on the panel for that decision, so it couldn’t have been that well-reasoned.” The audience laughed a bit.

I answered quickly, “In that case, your honor, it was at least well-written!” The audience (and all the judges) burst into laughter. I ended up winning in a published decision, which turned the old unpublished decision into binding precedent!

A bit of humor can go a long way in the courtroom. Especially when you’re flattering the judges.

#16

I’ve told this story before but I might as well put it here. This guy wanted custody over his children after a divorce and his wife was accusing of abuse(physical) . He was asked if he had ever abused his wife and he straight up said ‘Yes, but only when she annoyed me’ or something along the lines of that. I was ready to straight up leave the court room and laugh my ass off.

[This was like 6 yrs ago and I’ve forgotten about it until now, thanks for the reminder.]-i forgot to remove this part when i copy pasted this from my other reply to a question, i apologise. I don’t seem like a good lawyer right now, do I?

Image credits: _agathaneedzhlp

#17

When the defendant stuck to his ‘two beers’ story, and the expert blood alcohol witness said his BAC for his height/weight would’ve been 7.8 drinks.

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