Lots of things can change over time, from minor ones such as favorite food to something way more significant. For quite a few people, one of the most important decisions in life is whether or not to have children; and even though some people believe they’d rather stay child-free, they too can change their mind about it.
Redditor u/Informal_Birthday224 was curious about how people feel after such a change of heart. They addressed the parents among the ‘Ask Reddit’ community members, who were dead set on never having kids before they met “the one”, and asked whether it ended up being a regretful decision or not. Fellow redditors provided an abundance of answers, covering all sorts of scenarios and points of view and revealing why they did or did not regret having children. Scroll down to find them on the list below.
#1
I never wanted to have kids.
Then I started dating someone who had one.
Thing is…the single mom was not – ultimately – “the one.” We got divorced and went our separate ways. But the kid?
That was a different story. Her bio-dad was out of the picture (he literally skipped town the day she was born) and I stepped into that role when she was 6 years old after nobody else would. Unconditional love from the get-go.
When her mom and I split up 6 years later, I told her that “no matter what happens, I will always be here for you.” I kept that promise, and am the guy who’s got a stack of Father’s Day cards and walked her down the aisle at her wedding.
I have no regrets.
Image credits: gogojack
#2
My husband swore up and down that he didn’t believe in marriage or kids. I was always told I couldn’t have kids, and was just out of an 8 year-long relationship when I met him. I wanted to have fun, and he seemed like a great person.
Three months in, and I remember just looking at him and knowing… This was it. This was my person. A year later, he started talking about marriage while we were on a camping trip. Little did we know we also conceived our first son during that trip…
A month goes by, and I’m feeling sick and nauseous all the time. I end up buying a pregnancy test and discover that, yep. I’m pregnant. I go home to our house, and decide to let him off the hook. I want the baby, but I’m not going to make him be a part of a child’s life if he doesn’t want to be.
I sit down to tell him, and the moment I look at him, I can’t help but blurt it out. He got the biggest, silliest grin on his face. And said ‘yes, let’s do it! I want it all. I want to marry you. I want to have children with you. All of it!’
I didn’t believe him for another two months. Not until he took me away for the weekend, and proposed.
I will never forget the love in his eyes as he kneeled down and asked me to marry him. It was pouring down rain and I could still see the tears of happiness in his eyes when I said yes.
We now have two (miracles!! I was given less than 1% chance of having one child, let alone TWO) kiddos, and are extremely happy together. He is the best father. He is best buddies with our boys. I melt each time I see them all together.
My SIL says that she never believed in love until she saw our relationship. ❤️
Image credits: Waytoloseit
#3
I never wanted kids. Met my now wife and she wanted kids. When I say she talked me into having one child, it wasn’t like she was nagging me or anything like that. But she did talk me into it. After trying for a few years and nothing happening we got into foster care. Which totally change my outlook.
I went from not wanting any kids, to wanting to help as many children as possible. Being a foster dad and seeing what some of these children go through is heartbreaking.
Anyways we ended up adopting a girl (who turns three on July 2nd), who was in our care since she was 2 days old. And we had another girl not long after (after we stopped treatments to help with pregnancy).
I don’t get to travel like I want to, or be spontaneous anymore. But I do not regret anything at all. I’ve found emotions watching them grow up and interact that I didn’t know I had.
#4
I don’t regret having my daughter, she’s the best but I immediately got a vasectomy. Kids are a huge responsibility and I wanna dedicate my full love, attention and resources to her. I wanna be the best dad I can be. The thought of another newborn at home sends shivers down my spine, though.
Image credits: oo—–D
#5
I met the one when she had a 10 month old girl and an ex that wanted nothing to do with responsibility. I thought I didn’t want kids until I held my daughter in my arms. She’s 15 now and her sister is 10. Yesterday my daughter said to me she hopes someday she can find someone who will love her the way I love her mother. I’m not a crying type of man but that broke me.
To anyone who says they’ll never want children, I say okay no problem, no one should pressure you. But just be open to the idea that you might change someday and that’s okay too.
Image credits: XenonAegis
#6
Honestly? I probably shouldn’t have had kids. Couple points of clarification: I don’t know that “regret” is the right term, and I am in the tough time right now where they’re younger and a lot of work. But life is HARD with kids; they’re expensive and exhausting and as a mother you definitely lose a LOT of your identity the second they arrive. My husband is an incredible dad and my kids are gold hearted, beautiful tiny humans. But sending them into a rough world scares me, I gave up my medical career for them, and some days I just think of how nice it would be to travel more and be able to have a good nights sleep. I also don’t think my husband fully appreciates that it was a sacrifice I made for him out of pure, selfless, genuine love for him. I gave him the children he wanted and I love our life, but I’m committed for forever to being a mom and it’s not a job you can half a*s. 🤷♀️
Image credits: FlakyAd1193
#7
My wife told me years ago that she did not want to have kids and I accepted that. We had a nice life of doing what we wanted and I didn’t want that to change… then.
After a while I did think about wanting children and luckily she also changed her mind. We have one child now and my wife is the best mother ever. I think I’m a good dad but I’m not even close to how amazing she is as a parent.
So it ended up good.
Image credits: kitjen
#8
I never wanted to get married or have kids. I’m now in bed with my wife who’s pregnant with our second child and I’m excited to celebrate my first sons birthday this weekend.
I can’t believe I almost didn’t experience this. Becoming a father has been by far the best thing that ever happened to me.
Image credits: i-pi**-excellence32
#9
My wife and I were of the opinion that we weren’t really parent material. Just a couple of big kids with a host of mental issues that barely functioned as adults.
Our kid was an accident, no two ways about it. We struggled with the idea, but in the end, dedicated ourselves to it. Both of us agreed on one thing… To be better parents than our own parents.
Ultimately, it’s not for me to decide. But she is safe, and loved, and overall fairly happy. We’re not perfect by any means… There are still moments of weakness, missed cues, miscommunication… But at the end of the day, she’s my little girl. I love teaching her and playing with her and I’m so glad I didn’t let pessimism keep me from one of the best parts of my life.
Image credits: Fabulous_Pudding167
#10
It’s hard to regret having kids. I honestly think we made the wrong decision, but I also wouldn’t give up my kiddo for anything in the world.
We are stressed, broke, haven’t had a date night in two years, and our mental health is closer to the breaking point on a regular basis than it ever was before.
The sound of that giggling voice, though…
Image credits: iijjjijjjijjiiijjii
#11
My GF (26f at time) and I (20m at that time) were driving and a couple kids ran across the road and I had to crash my car to avoid them. After the accident i exploded and beat the steering wheel and said, “GD it! I f-ing hate kids!” She started crying and told me she was pregnant.
I am sitting on the couch now with my grown son and baby grandson. Ex is 1500 miles away.
I have no regrets.
Image credits: Paganoid_Prime
#12
I never wanted them. My then boyfriend, now husband was on the fence. After I married him and saw how he did his fair share of household duties, how supportive he was of my career, I thought “I wouldn’t mind having kids if he was going to pull his weight.”
So we just went along with the flow and one day I tested positive. Our son is exhausting but he brings so much happiness into our lives. But he brings extreme fear too. When your kid smiles at you and holds your hand, your world lights up. When he falls so sick that he needs to be rushed to the hospital or you see him bleeding from the mouth cos he split his lip… Those were some terrifying moments. You now live your life with your heart walking outside of your body.
Only have kids if you have complete faith in your partner.
Image credits: Odd-Cobbler2126
#13
I grew up having to help raise my uncle’s extremely large brood of kids. I saw the toll that being constantly being pregnant and having to look after an ever growing football team’s worth of kids had on her. I swore that was never going to be me.
I met my husband , and got pregnant by accident twice. My girls are my life now and i’m glad that I had them. I am also glad that we have permanently fixed that issue so we don’t have more.
Image credits: rowenaravenclaw0
#14
This is a hard one. Because some days it feels so worth it, but other days I just feel like I f****d up. It’s 100% a mixed bag for me. I’m not the person I was before having a kid, and I miss that person so much. She’ll never come back. So I can get regretful of stuff like that. On the flip side, sometimes it’s just so amazing to watch your kid grow and learn. But she drives me nuts too lol
Image credits: trippyhippie573
#15
I never intended to have kids. My “the one” had one and I took her in as my own at her age of 1.5
Fast forward 5 years and we had a big oopsie. Now we have our own flesh and blood daughter. It was a brutal experience because she was cholicy and had ADHD.
But my daughters (19 and 24 respectively) are both the most amazing women and I couldn’t be more proud of them and of being their dad/step-dad.
My youngest [my daughter] and I are best friends. 🥰
Image credits: dirtyfacedkid
#16
The best thing that ever happened to me was becoming a father. My son gave me the structure I needed and the purpose to not just grow up, but to finally realize this life was about something greater than myself. He’s 17 now and I literally couldn’t be prouder of who he has become. I think about my life and honestly, I might not even be here if he wasn’t born.
Image credits: yhpargotohpts
#17
I have a step son who was 5 when I met him. He’s 23 and always seeks me out to show me love. I always wanted a baby girl and it sucks I lost that chance.
Image credits: IndigenousBastard
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