There’s a limit to how much nonsense, mistreatment, entitlement, and toxicity even the most patient people in the world can take. While patience, perseverance, and resilience are all valuable, at a certain point, you have to know when you should take action and call it quits. Your time, energy, and generosity are better spent elsewhere!

Today, we’re featuring brutally honest stories from a few fascinating online threads where internet users shared what finally made them snap. Keep scrolling to read these people’s ‘eff it, I’m done’ moments when they decided to take back control of their professional and personal lives. It’s a good reminder to never settle for less than you’re worth.

#1

My boss waited until the week before a proposal was due to start on it. She had received it 2 months prior and at that point I offered to help and received no response from her. Then, the week before the due date she comes to me in a PANIC asking for my help. (This was the third time she had done this s**t to me.) I forward her all of my research and files and stay late every night helping to put it together. Reviewing the final draft of said proposal…my research is 80% of the content and I am not listed on the team. F**k it, I’m done.

Accepted another job offer 2 days later, haven’t looked back since.

EDIT: She owned the company, so there was no “going to her superiors.” Also, justice/karma…another employee quit the same day as I did. It was a small company and almost put her out of business. Hopefully it was a wakeup call?

Image credits: DesignALifeToLove

#2

I was dating a girl whose father was dying of cancer and was at home in hospice care. I found out that she was stealing his morphine to get high. That’s when I said, you know this probably isn’t the type of person I want to be with.

Image credits: NickTab

#3

Wanted to make plans with my at the time best friend. His response was “If nobody else wants to do anything that night, I guess we can.” Was the final straw that made me just say “f**k it,” and stop the friendship. Been 4 or 5 years since that happened. Don’t regret it one bit.

Image credits: RedShirtBrowncoat

Boundaries are everything. They’re fundamental in every aspect of your life if you want to be happy and healthy. If you don’t have any boundaries or lack the will to enforce them when someone ignores them, then you’re basically putting your wants and needs on the back burner. The result is that someone else takes advantage of you and profits (financially, emotionally, or otherwise) at your expense.

And, to be very blunt, that’s no way to go through life. Yes, life is often unfair, but you’re in the driver’s seat. You’re responsible for working toward a better, brighter future for you and your loved ones, even if not all of your efforts will give you the results you want.

#4

I put in my 2 week notice at work to pursue a better opportunity. Things had been nothing but positive at that job, but it was time to move on.

The next day at work, I get a meeting invite for what I expected to be an exit interview. I walk in, and HR and the corporate lawyer are there. The lawyer demands to know where I’m going to work, and starts shouting threats to ruin me with legal action for violating the non-compete agreement (I wasn’t).

At that point, F**k a smooth transition–I spent the next 2 weeks taking 3 hour lunches, chatting with friends in the halls and doing ZERO work.

Image credits: HabaneroEyedrops

#5

When the man I had loved for years told me we were on hold.

He informed me of the exact evening he was going on a date with some new girl and that he’d let me know by the end of the week if we were back on.

Amusingly he got offended when I told him I felt disrespected.
The idea of a healthy adult relationship with this man is futile. Feels so good to be done with him.

Image credits: discardedthrow

#6

Working a crappy minimum wage college job at my local zoo and it’s been in the 90’s all month. Managers don’t provide fans for us so all we get is a umbrella for shade. During lunch time the line would easily get to 50 people deep and sometimes 100 if it was a holiday weekend. Needless to say, times were a bit stressful. The worst part was how we would always be out of stock for almost every item. When the ICEE machine would break it took weeks to get them fixed. It just seemed like upper management didn’t give a s**t so why should I right? Hell, at least the reindeer get a fan.

Anyways it was a particularly warm day and we were out of everything. Cotton candy, popcorn, burgers, chicken. The soda machine was down and the ICEE machine wasn’t getting cold enough. People were literally cursing me out, I remember one lady saying, “WELL WHAT THE F**K DO YOU HAVE”. By that point I was used to people b******g, and I won’t ever let the customers get to me too much. It’s the management that did it in for me. I was pissed as hell that nobody out of the ten other people would restock any of the items while I was running register and retrieving items, so I quickly run inside into the manager’s office to tell him I need help. When I arrive I overhear him and another worker talking s**t about me, saying that I try too hard and I need to get my overachieving a*s out of there. If the boss doesn’t want a good business, then I don’t want to work for them. I peeked my head in to say, “Maybe that’s why you’re 35 and flip burgers at a zoo” and left. I just got my degree in the spring and hope to go back to the zoo to give that cockstain one last flip of the bird before moving.

EDIT: Proof for all the non-believers

Image credits: Char10

The key is to figure out where the line lies between a truly toxic situation that’s actively harming you and one that’s merely challenging and has the potential to teach you valuable life lessons and toughen you up. A good rule of thumb to follow is that if your physical, mental, and emotional health are suffering every single day, you need to change something. A bit of stress can be healthy and energizing. Too much chronic stress, however, and you crumble. It can increase the risk of health problems, burnout, poor sleep, headaches, digestive problems, a weakened immune system, and low self-esteem.

Verywell Mind suggests that you consider quitting your job if there’s a lack of growth opportunities, you’re unmotivated, your mental and emotional well-being is suffering, and you’re stuck in a toxic work environment. Your inner alarms should also go off if your boss asks you to behave unethically, in a way that goes against your personal values or the law.

“Some jobs can be admittedly stressful for various reasons. Feeling constantly on edge, being filled with dread before heading to work, and coming home utterly exhausted each night are not just ‘part of the job.’ It’s a sign that something needs to change,” Verywell Mind urges.

#7

The boiler in my flat started leaking last week. I called the landlord and it took him 3 days to send a plumber, I turned off the hot water, but in that time we had a small electrical fire because the water from the boiler had leaked into the oven.

It’s been a week now, I haven’t been able to have a good shower and I’m on my period so I feel absolutely disgusting; the kitchen is useless because of the boiler and the fire and I’m supposed to be at a really important thesis meeting over the next two days but my landlord just called and said the plumber won’t be able to make it until next week.

Called my husband, we’re moving out.

UPDATE: Ok, I’ve gotten a lot of messages about an update, but I couldn’t give one earlier because of the ongoing investigation, and subsequent adjudication, we were advised by our solicitor not to say anything.

My husband and I moved out; we found a lovely flat, overlooking a large park, and with an office for when we decide to work from home, so we’re quite happy about the move.

When we moved out we made an application to get a refund on our security deposit; in Scotland the security deposit on a flat has to be held by a neutral 3rd party, who then decides how the deposit is divided when the tenants move out, this has been the law since before we moved into this flat. When we were making the application we quickly discovered that, not only had the landlord not put our security deposit into the 3rd party holding account, he actually wasn’t even a registered private landlord, and hadn’t put into place any of the safety precautions/requirements of a private landlord in our flat.

We took all of our evidence to the charity ‘Shelter Scotland’, they advised us to make a complaint to the ‘Private Rented Housing Panel’, or PRPH who are meant to oversee all investigations into private landlords, however we were told that they wouldn’t be able to help us recoup any of our losses, and that we would have to pursue that with our own solicitor.

We contacted a solicitor (luckily my husbands father is actually a properties solicitor, so he was able to recommend a great guy), who helped us build a case to have our rent and our security deposit returned to us; (we were lucky/smart and had a 3rd party surveyor come and investigate and document the damage in the flat before we moved in years ago, and again as we were moving out). It was pretty much an open and shut case, didn’t have to go to court or anything; adjudication only takes a short time as well so it was quite quick. The adjudicator pretty much sided with us on everything, and the landlord has been ordered to pay back our deposit + rent for the period that the flat was considered uninhabitable; which was basically determined to be the entire time we were living there because of a few problems with the flat and the fact that the landlord wasn’t registered.

After about 2 months of fighting, we’ve gotten a huge pay off which has gone straight into a savings account so that we can buy our own place and never have to deal with s**t landlords again.

Image credits: stone_opera

#8

I used to work in a IT support call centre and had the douchiest middle manager (like Lumbergh but worse). The company had started getting stingy on warranties, not honouring the labour component so we had to walk customers through replacing computer parts like motherboards over the phone. He started to tell us we’re spending too much time in calls. Ugh.

One day there was a big queue and he sent a typical douchy email to all call centre staff saying “There’s a queue, come on guys get rid of it”

F**k it, i’m done with this. I just took all the calls and hung up on all them, flushing all 40 people from the queue in about a minute. I replied to all and said “The queue is gone”. Escorted from the premises 5 minutes later. No regrets, not even an exit interview. Success.

**Edit:** There’s a bit more to the story here but believe me the manager was not doing his job well, he was a bone fide d******d who ruined other people to get ahead. Yes, the customers were collateral damage here but we were all helping them by providing phone labour which management were trying to stop. This company was violating Australian consumer law by doing this and got in trouble with the ACCC. They don’t exist here anymore.

Image credits: PM_ME_STUFF_N_THINGS

#9

Ex gf and I were on a break. Ended up at the same bar and I ended up giving her a lift home. I didn’t want to come inside and she wouldn’t take no for an answer. She refused to get out of my car for like an hour, screaming at me all the while, and only got out because she was going to p**s herself. And, like, she did p**s herself in the street a few minutes later. F*****g crazy.

Safe to say we didn’t get back together.

Image credits: anon

A few of the main signs that your job may be toxic include things like:

1. Dreading going to the office
2. Constant negativity
3. Worrying about backstabbing coworkers
4. Overly critical bosses
5. Unrealistic demands and deadlines
6. Lack of trust
7. Gossip culture
8. Sabotaging colleagues

#10

When I realized that it was possible for my boss to be even *more* of a d*******g.

+ I had an emergency illness, and was hospitalized for a week. We did not have “official” sick leave, so I was told that I had to use one week vacation. (Even though sick days were paid if you took a 1 or 2 sick days at a time). D****e grade “B”.
+ I was on IV Dilaudid (synthetic h****n). My boss brought in a laptop (the hospital had wifi) and told me to get work done during my stay. I’m a Controller (Accountant). Trying to run numbers while hopped up is impossible. D****e grade “A”.
+ Later that same year, I put in for vacation (we earned 2 weeks every year, plus I had carry-over vacation from the prior year). My boss (the owner/Pres.) tried to say that I couldn’t take vacation again for a year. He felt it was “fair” for me to lose my unused vacation, since I hadn’t “scheduled” my illness. It took the other officers in the company to talk him down. D****e grade “A+”.

Edit: Correction, Dilaudid is not sythethic h****n. “Dilaudid is the name for a potent semi-synthetic opiate d**g that is commonly known as hydromorphone. It is a centrally acting analgesic that is a derivative of morphine. Although it is considered to have a less dependence level compared to other opiate d***s, it is believed to be 6-8 times stronger than morphine.”

I know I was on Dilaudid. I *thought* one of the nurses had said it was synthetic h****n. My bad!

Edit2: This happened in 2009, seven years ago. Thank you to all who are looking out for me, but I didn’t then, and am not now going to sue. The first reason was because it was too much hassle for what I would likely receive. The second reason was because I work in a niche market. While prospective employers can appreciate me walking away from a bad apple, they would shy away from someone who filed a lawsuit.

Image credits: TrifectaLoser

#11

When I came home and my son told me his stepmom boxed up his PlayStation while he was playing it so she could sell it.

Image credits: weedful_things

#12

I was a broke college student and working part-time as a night janitor and full-time as a Research Assistant before having to go back to school in the Spring. I needed the money to pay for tuition. After my first lease expired, I tried contacting a few places for a summer sublet. But no one got back to me in time and I had to live a few days in my car. But within a few days of me moving out, the apt owners sent me their responses. At that point, I had already developed a system and was quite used to being homeless.

So that entire summer, I just said “F**k it. I’m done.” And lived out of my car. I would shower once every two days at the university’s lab shower and sleep in the unrestricted night parking spots.

Image credits: serendipity12x

Meanwhile, when it comes to toxic people, you should be suspicious of ‘friends’ who are:

1. Always selfish
2. Highly critical
3. Overly competitive
4. Manipulative
5. Untrustworthy
6. Drain you instead of empowering you
7. Unreliable
8. Prone to spreading drama
9. Narcissistic
10. Isolate you from the other people in your life

#13

I had been on active duty in the Army for 21 years and thought I’d stay for 23. My previous 4 years had been on recruiting duty which was a nice change of pace. The Army then decided to send me to Fort Drum, NY.

My family and I arrived at Drum in mid-October and there was about 2 feet of snow on the ground. That’s pretty normal for that area. As the next few months progressed, I got used to shoveling pretty hefty overnight snowfalls in order to get to work the next day. It was not a big deal.

One day in particular though, a blast of Arctic air descended on the region and sent temperatures down to -22F. We got an early morning phone call from our leadership saying to report to physical fitness training as normal. So, we went out that morning with snow everywhere and a wind chill of -44F and ran for 4 miles.

I told my supervisor that I’m retiring in the next six months and would fill out the paperwork over the weekend. He laughed at me and didn’t take it serious.

That packet was completely filled out and on his desk at 0530 that Monday.

F**k it. I’m done.

EDIT: I realize that it’s actually against Army policy to have outdoor PT at temperatures below -20F. The senior leader that made the decision to hold the run gave no f***s and said as much. None of the other senior NCO’s said a d**n thing in protest either at the time or afterwards. This type of BS is one of the myriad other reasons I said, “F**k it. I’m done.”.

Image credits: Yerok-The-Warrior

#14

First job in high school I booked a short holiday away. Spoke to manager in work and she told me I could not have it off under no reason as the only person who could cover was also on holiday in another country. They walked into the store the next day. Spoke to them and they said yeah they could cover easily. Went back to manager and she still flat out told me no, so went f**k it. I’m done. Handed in my notice and went on that holiday. Don’t b******t your staff.

Image credits: Carson99

#15

Started coming in 2 – 3 hours early for the extra work that I was given (hours were 10-6). I got a written warning for leaving when the bell rung at the end of the day because my manager didn’t come in until 10 and assumed I wasn’t putting in the extra effort.

Image credits: Heres_that_guy_again

What is the biggest ‘eff it, I’m done’ moment that you’ve ever had in your lives, Pandas?

What was the final straw? What made you snap? What did you do, how did you take back control of your life, and what was the fallout like?

If you feel like you’d like to share a bit from your past, you can do so in the comments at the bottom of this post.

#16

“Sorry can’t take you to ER because I have bad hair”. Was all I needed to hear to understand that person is a piece of s**t and need not have anything to do with her.

Image credits: askingoneq

#17

When I was 16 I had my first job at a chain restaurant. Manager was a lesbian and she invited me on a date. Told her that I wasn’t interested, and she proceeded to make work hell for me.

I had vacation approved and planned for a while. Hotel was paid for, and the day before I was supposed to leave she tells me she changed the schedule and put me on a double in the middle of the week, I will also be fired if I take my vacation.

F**k it, I’m done.

Image credits: 45MinutesOfRoadHead

#18

My wife and I started P90x a few years ago. After the first session I threw up. Not so bad, but the next day, I couldn’t bend my arms because they were so sore and tight. I tried to get out of bed and just fell down. I couldn’t wipe my a*s, which was alright, because I couldn’t put food in my mouth, either.

We kept at it for 4 weeks until one session I turned to my wife; she was just standing still and crying. I was like, “F**k It. We’re done. Let’s get a pizza.”.

Image credits: anon

#19

My old housemate used to tell us about his awful family and how messy/nightmarish they were. He wasn’t the tidiest himself, at our place, but I figured he’d just picked up bad habits – I always felt really sorry for him about his family situation, so I tended to give him a bit of a pass.

Fast forward to us moving out after a year, his parents come to help and his room is an absolute state – I cannot adequately describe how vile it was, I’m amazed he didn’t have rats in there. When challenged on it, without missing a beat he swears blind that he’d been staying with his girlfriend, and that in the meantime I had moved into his room and trashed it, which obviously I hadn’t. His parents went apesh*t, and went to the landlord who believed them and took a cleaning fee out of my share of the deposit instead of his.

I was so angry at the guy, I’d always stood up for him against his family/our other (pretty s****y) housemate and then he decides to screw me out of £300.

Image credits: phoeniceus_

#20

I found myself cleaning toilets in a McDonalds at 3:00am. I was only 18 but already graduated and really woke up to the fact that I had no plan at all.

Image credits: jinglingii

#21

Most recently? When one girl and I did 90% of a 45 page report which was supposed to be done by our group of six. We ended up saying “f**k it”, breaking off and submitting our own report instead.

Image credits: LadyEmry

#22

Divorced my husband of twelve years. Found out he was cheating on me. Decided maybe we could get past this if we tried and got counseling. I tried and did a bunch of s**t to make things better for us, then got into his phone one day (didn’t intend to, the perfect opportunity was just there in front of me). He was still professing his absolute heartbreaking love to that woman. AND… he was also chatting with two others who he told were so hot and was trying to set up dates with them. Forget that, if he could cheat on a woman he claimed to love, not just me who he said he was “trying to love again”, there was no chance of anything working. That was definitely my “f**k it, I’m done” moment. Divorcing his sorry a*s was the best move I’ve ever made. It’s a year now and I’m loving life. I hear he is alone and miserable.

Image credits: Arpple

#23

I was a manager of a small department in bank administration when my boss gave me to the end of the day to submit the name of one of my employees to be laid off. I submitted my own name.

Image credits: anon

#24

I was transporting an LVAD patient too a doctors appointment.

She had some depression issues. She stops getting ready. Says “You know what? I think im done”. She unplugs her LVAD and starts yelling at everybody in the room.

For those unware. LVAD is an electrical pump device for end stage heart failure. Now when you unplug them. There is a fifteen minute battery on the actual unit. When that fails it could be minutes or the patient might not go at all…

Luckily for me. I was the least qualified in the room of nurses and a doc…So I just quietly left….

Image credits: iamlikewater

#25

When my ex threatened to blow up my car with me and his child inside it. He was sick af, and I am terrified of him, even years later. That moment jerked my eyes open in a way his manipulative behavior never did.

Image credits: ElElseEle

#26

3 minutes into playing Flappy Bird when I died for the 65th time.

Image credits: Farting_snowflakes

#27

Walked into exam

realized I had been up for 48 hours straight but hadn’t studied

turned around and walked out of exam.

Image credits: petites_pattes

#28

When my bf left me for a friend, who moved into the house I used to share with him, I put up with it. When the friendship group stopped inviting me out because they felt awkward having us all there, I put up with it. When rumours and gossip and snide remarks circulated about me, I brushed it off. When I moved interstate and came back for my birthday and every single one of them bailed hours before the reservation, I cried and got mad but said nothing. When I went through a tragic loss and was depressed they all fell out of touch with me, I never received a call, not one. I went away and got some counselling and learned to love myself a little more. When I returned to their world, I discovered they knew about my issues and had been derogatory. The first night I saw everyone at a house party, they all gathered in one room where i was not allowed to go. Finally I realised, after 10 years. These people are not friends. I left and I have never looked back. 2-3 years later I have a wonderful life with a loving bf, many genuine friends and I am on track to achieve my career goals.

Image credits: CheekyCharlie84

#29

20 minutes into selling Kirby vacuums.

First, they said *customer support*

Then they said *product demonstration*

Finally they said *knock on people’s doors and sell them vacuums*

Nope.

Image credits: anon

#30

–EDIT– I AM NORWEGIAN! NAME DAY IS LIKE A BAPTISM WITHOUT THE RELIGIOUS STUFF! OK! TY! IT WAS A CELEBREATION OF MY SONS BIRTH.

Tried to invite my narcisistic and what i learned afterwards otherwise unstable dad to my sons name day. He is a slacker of a dad and like 99% absent grand parent, but he seemed pleased for the invitation.

Up until it was actually close, like real close. A week before the thing and he hadn’t even booked plane tickets yet. Then he threw a fitt when i couldn’t put him up in the house(wife refused, because my dad is weird and she knew how he ACTUALLY was, which i didn’t see)

So he threw a fitt, demaned all sorts of special treatment, i even offered to pay for a place to stay, he wouldn’t have it. So i got my brother in law across the street to take him in. That was good enough for him, yet 2 days before he still hadn’t booked plane tickets because the world was against him. No airline companies called him back, he sat up all night trying to get tickets, train didn’t work either. He then eventually spinned it towards me not wanting him to come and see his grandchildren. That’s when i kinda realized who he actually was, and my mother who divorced him then opened up and shared tons of stories of things he had done via manipulation. I kinda realized what a sh*tstain of a narcisistic self centered d****e he was. He was never gonna actually come, he just tried to manipulate it into being my fault that he couldn’t come so he wouldn’t get the blame. That’s when i said “f**k it im done” and i haven’t spoken to him in two years since that. Last i heard i got an e-mail a year ago where he said my grandmother is disowning me from the will due to the way i treated him but would include me in the will again if i apologized, which is b******t. She has dementia and i spoke to her sister, she has done no such thing.
TLDR: Realized my father was a manipulating narcisistic sh*tstain, said f**k it and haven’t spoken to him in two years.

 

–edit backstory since some people send me PM’s that i am flipping out over nothing.

 

English is my… third language so, name day in Norwegian is like a baptism but non religious. So it was a celebration that my son was born, my father had never seen him, and he still hasn’t.

The main thing was, he has met my eldest twice, when i visited him with her. He has never sent a birthday card or gift, never phoned her, she doesn’t even know he exists. Yet now, all of a sudden, i was the one keeping him from seeing his grand children, and he would not have it. He would move mountains to be with his beloved grand children he said.

And money really is no freaking issue for him, he sold his mid town appartment to move in with his demented mother(my grandmother) to take care of her. I even offered to pay for the ticket.
I wouldn’t put him up in my own home since we have one spare bedroom used by my mother(they can’t be in the same room more then 5 minutes and he starts trying to mock and manipulate her), he is unstable to say the least and my kids don’t know him.

I also found out from my grandmothers sister, that he is a d**g a****t and have been for a very long time. Oh and he tried to k**l himself infront of me when i was 6, slicing his wrist(the correct way) after an arguement with his new girlfriend. I watched helplessly as the hero of my life, my deadbeat dad whom i saw once every other weekend, was slowly bleeding to death, and there was nothing i could do. Luckily neighbours called the cops over the rockus.

After that he vanished into thin air, not a word for ten years. And he then suddenly reappears when i am 15/16 or so and acts like he’s my best friend yet i barely know him. And then, he does the same to his “beloved” grandchildren. So yeah, there is more here then you know, which i did not mention.

The whole point was: I did not care if he came or not. If i he said “I can’t make it” that would’ve been fine, it’s an entire hour long flight(yes 1 hour) so i can see how that is taxing to meet your grandson for the first time… The thing was he tried to lie and manipulate me into thinking it was MY FAULT he didnt come. I offered to pay for the plane, the hotell, get him somewhere else to stay, tons of things. But even how much i offered to help, how much i offered to do for him, there was always something else that was not his fault.

There were no plane tickets, no train, oh he is suddenly quite sick and has been for some time, he has to maybe take care of grandma… etc. There was always something. And that is the summary of my father in general, a disappointment. Lies, manipulation and empty promises. He was never actually going to show up. The last thing he said was i couldn’t keep him from seeing his grandchildren(as a reply to me saying that he is very welcome and i will pay for everything if he just comes) and that he was coming no matter what i thought and that his train arrived at 2 PM, then he hung up the phone.

The day of the ceremony i was texting him where i could pick him up and directions for him to get to the ceremony place in case his train was late and i couldn’t pick him up. He never replied and he never showed up, i didn’t care that much that he didn’t show but it did make me feel like i was 5 years old again waiting for him to come to the kindergarden’s bbq like he said he would but didn’t. It didn’t dawn on me until 30 minutes before we were supposed to start that he wouldn’t show up. That’s how long i kept believing in him in some sort of misguided way, and that’s when it really dawned on me who he was. I haven’t messaged or talked to him since.

Image credits: anon

#31

So I played D&D in college. There was this one guy… ugh, everyone knows that one guy who forgets that people play games to have fun.

But in any case, he wanted to DM, and we wanted to play an epic game, so we started at level 25. We built our characters and the very first encounter the DM threw against us was specifically crafted to be all but immune to our characters. Like, seriously, the most effective move any of us had was to turn into a giant red dragon and *sit* on one them. (okay, technically grappling, but still!)

So after a grueling and un-fun hour of trying to do *anything* against these monstrosities, my character unfurled his (magical) wings, and flew home.

And I packed up my stuff and just *left.* (apparently me leaving opened the floodgates, because shortly after I left, everyone else was like “f**k it, this isn’t fun. we’re done here.” — dude never got to DM again).

#32

Every s**t essay I’ve finished at 3am.

#33

I was rushed into emergency surgery when it was discovered I had an ectopic pregnancy. I called my boss right before, told him what was happening, and he asked ” if it could wait for my day off”. I just handed the phone to my fiance and was rolled away. The next day I left the hospital and called work again for the HR number so I could start my leave paperwork. I said ” Hi John, its smydgen” and he said.. ” You know you’re 15 minutes late right?”

Yeap fuckthisville.

#34

I used to be Mr. Nice Guy, constantly helping people with homework, moving furnature, and general any help that they needed. Finally though someone asked me to drop them off at the train station, was only supposed to take twenty minutes. Well it turned out to take 3 hours and I missed a work obligation and got in major trouble for it. The kid did not even feel sorry or anything. At that moment I said *f**k it, I’m done!*

Now I have no problems saying NO to people. It is really sad though how angry people get when you refuse to go **out of your way** to help them.

#35

I was about 16 or 17, at my first decent part-time job. It was a small franchise/chain store in my hometown. I’d been there for about a year, which made me (laughably) one of the more senior part-timers on staff.

Over a long holiday weekend, I was working – alone – for a full day shift. I had a list of tasks to complete, several of which I’d done before, which my supervisor figured would take me all day. I was being paid time-and-a-half since it was a holiday, and the store’s owners were very conscious of this.

I managed to get everything done by mid-day, and proceeded to do more busywork. Stacking, folding, taking out garbage, inventory, labeling, everything I could imagine would be useful.

My next shift was the following weekend. When I arrived, the owners asked to speak with me in the office. I came in, and one of the owners asked me to sit. He was a very short, fat, Italian chap who had a reputation for power trips. The chair was on its lowest seating position. I was berated for being lazy on my last shift. Apparently one of the other supervisors caught me reading papers (my list of tasks) and standing around (labeling) or simply sweeping (cleaning), instead of “doing any real work”. The owner railed on me, telling me this was unacceptable. His speech ended with a typical “this is not the kind of attitude you should have if you want to keep working here.”

F**k this, I thought. Then it came to me in a flash. The words I’d wanted to utter throughout his tirade. And so I said it: “Well, I don’t anymore.”

The owner’s eyes bugged out. He ordered me to repeat myself. I did, and said I’d have my two weeks’ notice in by the end of my shift. He told me to leave, now. I got up, stood in front of him and smiled, handed him my passkey, and strolled out to the parking lot. The drive home that day was one of the sweetest feelings I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.

#36

After spending *far too long* trying to convince someone that “Game of the Year” isn’t a single award. *Yes, Fallout 4 AND Witcher 3 are going to be Game of the Year. No, it doest matter which one you think “deserves it more” f**k it, I’m done.*.

#37

Was at the grocery store yesterday and this chick ahead of me in the line didn’t know what sales tax was. She started yelling at the check out guy because “it was $33 and now it’s $36!” Yeah, you stupid b***h because $33 is the sub total before sales tax. The guy tried to explain this to her but she made him re-ring everything in expecting it all to change. She started yelling again and I had a really bad headache and was tired so I said “it’s the f*****g tax!” And this c**t says “excuse you” without even looking at me. I f*****g saw red. I only had a bottle of water and a pre-made salad so I take a $10 bill, put it on the counter and just walk out while calling her a f*****g r****d. The alarm went off and everything but no one stopped me. F**k people. F**k them right in the f*****g bullet hole that needs to be in their head.

Edit: For everyone saying the alarm didn’t go off, it did. I live in a pretty terrifying city where s**t gets stolen all the time so pretty much everything is RFID’d.

#38

I used to work in pizza delivery. I worked for a while for this sleazeball owner who regularly bent and broke the rules to benefit himself. When Pepsi products went on sale at our local grocery store for cheaper than our distributor sold them for he would tell his manager to load up his truck with as much pepsi and mountain dew she could buy. He also would have me take deliveries well outside our delivery area by ringing them up as pickups and writing down the address.

Anyway I was often the only driver scheduled in the morning. Usually wasnt a problem, but one day it became a huge issue. My boss first had me take a delivery a good 15-20 miles outside our delivery area. We got slammed right after I left. Rather than call another driver in, he let the deliveries wait and got pissed off at me for taking around an hour on the out of area delivery. I said whatever and loaded up my car with five deliveries that happened to be dotted all across our coverage area. The last guy was pissed to all hell at us for taking so long, cussed me out, shorted me $10, and slammed the door in my face.

When I got back my boss starts cussing me out about taking so long that day. I guess the customer who was pissed called the store to complain that I asked him not to speak to me like that while he was cussing me out. Got a “customer is always right work harder” speech. I went outside, took the sign off my car and left. I ended up calling our corporate office on him the next day.

To make things even better when I went in to pick up my last check, he threatened to jump across the counter to fight me and started calling me a p***y when I wouldnt agree to a fight. (He often carried a gun on him. Wasnt about to get shot over a pizza job.) Also found out that he ended up f*****g up my taxes hard that year when he and many others in the upper management of that chain got busted for tax fraud.

TL;DR. Old pizza boss cussed me out over his incompetence. Tried fighting me after I quit.

#39

“Best friend” of mine of 16 -17 years just got married( I was his best man) was in desperate need of a job. I knew my work was looking for someone and the pay was double what he was making so I informed him gave him my bosses number email address and hand delivered an app to his apartment for him to fill out also offered to pick him up and drive him to my company office. Even gave my boys his number witch he called four times. Never filled out the app, call in, emailed, or answer my bosses phone calls. We passed up a few other well qualified people just so he can at least get an interview. They were going to give him the job on the spot. Got a call from him yelling at me for not following up for him and getting back to him about the job,his wife called me asking me why I didn’t refer him to my boss and at that point I got rid of his number and haven’t spoken to him since. You can led a horse to water, but can’t make it drink.

#40

Worked for a snack food company in Colorado. On my last employee review, received great accolades from the owner and he stated that since I was the only buyer and the company was growing they would hire someone to help and I would be the manager. Six months later the owner pulled me aside on a Wednesday and told me they hired someone that was starting on Monday and that I would be reporting to that person. I gave my notice on the spot. Later, I looked at that persons Linkedin and she had 1 year, 4 months experience…I have 20 plus.

#41

When my boss screamed in my face for the third time that week. Walked out and never looked back.

Now I own my own company and doing better than ever.

#42

I worked at a s****y call center but was the best employee, like I showed up to work and always hit my f*****g metrics. The job was only worth it because I always made the bonus’s ( weekly death threats ) , then I heard the rumour that they would be slashing bonus’s when the company failed a sales project. I thought I would be above it because I was always number 1 on the metrics sheet. Then my boss told me that I ” missed a script line ” and that voided my bonus.

I walked out the next day.

#43

Long story short: I quit my job as a barista when I was offered a gig that payed better, had a more flexible schedule, and aligned with my Uni degree really well. The manager there had told me I could give notice at my other job(cafe) and come work for them full time, so I did. Anyway, that manager decided to screw me over and hire someone else, and I was considering asking for my job at the cafe back….

Then, literally the next day, first customer I deal with gives me “Our Chais are too waterey” which is bull, cause we don’t put water in that s**t, which I told her. Obviously she wouldn’t listen, so I asked if she wanted new drinks or a refund. She said yes to the refund, so I go through the process of finding her order from hours ago, getting the refund ready. I ask how she paid, she says debit, so I tell her to put her card back in the machine. Oh, she didn’t bring her card (“I don’t know how your refunds work here!” Like everywhere else on the planet maybe?). So I’m like fine, my patence is running out, I just give her the cash and move on. Ten minutes later shes back asking where her drinks are, and when I explain that she had asked for the refund, not the drinks, she says “I don’t care about the refund, I want my drinks!” That exact moment I remember as clear as day, it was the moment I thought “I will never work in a cafe again for as long as I live” while staring this woman down, before I handed her two empty cups and said “You didn’t pay for them, so make them yourself.” and walked away.

#44

I’d had to tell someone that their contractor wasn’t doing s**t. Said contractor decided to rake me over the coals. I informed my boss of the dustup and he blew me off. I was already pretty done but pushed me way over the edge. I found out recently said boss had been demoted from management. I laughed.

#45

Just the other day actually, kicked my now ex-girlfriend out with nowhere to go. Why so cruel? Well amongst constantly being treated like s**t, ignored, taken advantage of, and just a constant feeling of walking on nails with her, I put up with it, bit my tongue, and pushed it to the back of my mind. She got pregnant, and red flags started to go up. “Close call miscarriages,” a suspected ectopic pregnancy, wouldn’t quit smoking, wouldn’t go to a prenatal appointment. I was on the fence about it all because, well, I wanted to be a dad. Then I go out to her car to get her something, lift up a hoodie in the back seat, and low and behold, there’s a box of tampons. Normally, that wouldn’t mean anything, but in this case it did. As I had cleaned her car out and detailed it inside and out only a few weeks prior, and this box of tampons was not there before. She doesn’t hang out with other girls, as she hates other girls really. She had lied to me about being pregnant, as well as lied to my family and gotten their hopes up. So that was the final straw. I had decided then and there to rid my life of this lying and manipulative leech. So I go inside, and the first thing out of her mouth was “I’m going to Virginia Beach at the end of the month with another guy, it’s gonna be fun!” Wait, hold on. Rewind that. *Another guy?* F**k no. No asking me if I want to go, as a courtesy to, ya know, **YOUR BOYFRIEND THAT YOU ARE HAVING A CHILD WITH?** So she left to hang out with someone, and in the meantime, I threw all her s**t in the driveway, texted her and told her to get her s**t and stay the f**k away from my house and my family. If that isn’t a “*f**k it, I’m done*,” moment, I don’t know what is.

#46

My roommate set off pepper spray in our room.

#47

Went out for a few drinks with some friends and my brother. I wasn’t feeling up for drinking so I took the car and off we went. Met up with everyone, had a good time but one of my friends had a bit too much to drink and needed to get sick and everyone was coming back to my place so I told the others that we’d be back soon.

We went to the car and my friend was chucking up in the street whilst I was trying to eat my KFC. I’d had enough of this so I phoned my brother and told him to get everyone to finish their drinks as the other guy was in bad shape. My bladder was filling up rapidly as well.

After 25 minutes I rang again wondering where they were and I found out that my brother told them all that I said to get another drink and to take their time (which of course I didn’t) and I said to them hurry up because my bladder was full to the brim only to be told just to p**s in the street (we were on a residential road with a frequent police patrol passing by, so no thanks)

Finally everyone showed up, they all got in the car and I was bombing it back home as quick as possible, which led to snarky comments about my driving. A red light took longer than expected to change and I had everyone yelling at me to go through it and offering to pay the fine (which wasn’t the point, but they’d conveniently weasel out of it if it did turn up in the post)

So finally we got home and ironically enough I did feel like a drink so I c*****d open a beer and never offered them a lift anywhere ever again. I’m too polite for my own good, I should have just left them when I found out they got another round.

#48

Worked at a grocery store in a small town after leaving my ex and moving states. Within a month, I got called into the manager’s office and was scolded for “stealing” money from the register, even though I knew I hadn’t done it. Two weeks later, got called back in and got a second warning for “stealing” from the register.

I talked to my supervisor and she started looking through receipts, etc and found that my drawer was completely balanced, maybe short or over by a few pennies here and there. Meanwhile, you could charge things to be taken out of your paycheck and I had done it once with a pack of cigarettes. Now, I only smoke menthol and when I started looking through the tickets, I was finding cartons that had been charged that definitely didn’t belong to me.

Sup got to digging more and found charges had been made on ALL employee accounts, some as much as several hundred dollars that had been taken out of their checks weekly. Manager caught wind of it and fired her immediately. I was brought in once again and couldn’t hold my temper, so I told the manager that I knew she was stealing and blaming it on everyone else. She fired me on the spot for “harassing her” and told me to pick up my paycheck at the end of the week.

Went to pick up my check and the c**t manager had forged my signature, cashed my check in the store and took around $250 out, leaving me with $57.

I called every number you could think of about it and that store was shut down less than a month later.

#49

A couple of months ago I was at oak point park in Dallas Texas late evening and I thought I heard a kitty mewing in the woods so I went into the woods to find it just in case it was someone’s pet. I got pretty close to where the sound was originating from and it stopped. I waited a couple of minutes and didn’t hear anything and then I took a p**s and was about to head back. While I was draining the lizard, I got a really horrible feeling and I noticed out of my peripheral vision some figure watching me from about twenty feet away in a clearing of dead fallen trees. I turned towards him and in the dim light I noticed he was at least half naked and very discheveled. He then meowed at me and I took off still pissing the opposite direction.

#50

Had been telling my boss that there was an error on the website that I cannot fix because I don’t have the permissions. I mention this several times to him. It would take him one phone call to get it straightened out, btw. The owner notices this error. Not only calls me out in front of the whole department about not caring about my job and taking advantage of his kindness, but also makes it a point to tell me I should thank my boss for having my back. It was the last straw placed on a huge pile of awfulness. I quit the next day.

#51

My friends and I were down in Miami for spring break one year and we wandered into a sort of s****y part of town and were walking around after getting hammered and we came across an old homeless African American dude named Linwood who was messing with the chain on his bike because it got messed up. We started chatting with him and he’s clearly a bit on the odd side but also really cool and we agree to follow him to a local bar for “some fun”. So we get to the bar and it’s one of those little places that somehow crammed 8 or 10 pool tables in, so it’s just everyone olaying pool and slamming beers. Linwood kind of sucks at pool at first and we start messing around playing for money with random guys (only like 5 bucks for the next beer etc.) Linwood bets a guy and loses but has no money so when he loses to this guy i offered to pay the 5 bucks for him and he was grateful, but then Linwood looks at me and winks and offers for a rematch for $100 which of course the guy takes. And im thinkin what the f**k, but I’m hammered. Turns out Linwood is good at pool, like really good at pool and he’s a hustler. He smashed this guy, and split the $100 with me and then told us to follow him because he had to buy some weed. So we leave the bar and follow him down this shady a*s dark road and up these stairs into an apartment and everybody there is just staring at us because they knew we weren’t from around there. Linwood buys some weed and then we go out back and he asks us if we want to get some women, and we say sure. He tells us to hang on and he goes back up into the apartment and comes back down with 3 of the biggest ugliest women I’ve ever seen and says “they’ll blow all 3 of you for that $50 you got.” And that is where s**t got too weird and i told Linwood our adventure was over and we needed to get back to our hotel lol.

#52

When a co-worker violently punched a dent into a freezer when I told him to shut up, after months of him harassing me…

And I was reprimanded!

The director got a nice report after that, and he was fired two weeks later.

#53

I once took a job as a grain hauling trucker. Unfortunately I picked the worst time of year to do it, which was December when everyone is trying to get their harvest in to the terminal before year end. This December was also a cold one (I live in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan and it was -30C to -40C for most of the 3 weeks this job lasted). The Peterbilt they had me in could throw little enough heat that I could feel my feet or see through the windshield, but not both. My last run went as follows:

Dispatch gave me directions that took me an extra 3 hours to get where I was going. In addition to it being a much longer route, they sent me down a dead end road with a super B trailer (2 medium-to-long trailers instead of one long one) and I had to drive into a snow filled field to turn around because my other option was to back 2 connected trailers up 8km. I’ve never sworn so much in my life as I barely managed to not be stuck in a field in the middle of nowhere.

When I finally did get to the terminal to unload it was so late that I was the next semi in line when they closed. I was actively fighting sleep due to being cold all day and pulling a crazy long drive and being more than a bit angry. I had to drop trailer and come back the next day.

All told I put in over 14 hours for what should have been a 8 hour haul. We got paid by the loaded km, not by hour or total km, so I got paid for 4 hours. I realized that right when the terminal closed. That was the point at which I actually voiced “F**k this, I’m out!” despite having nobody to hear me. Just an affirmation to myself. The next morning I told them I wasn’t returning to work and that I have no problem putting in 14hrs but not if I’m getting paid for 4, and not in a vehicle that won’t throw heat to the cab when it’s -40 outside.

I’ve since become an RN, I’m much happier. Especially since I get paid for the hours I put in.

TLDR; Got paid for 4 hrs when I put in 14, while freezing cold, mostly due to getting s****y directions. Moved on with my life after saying “F**k this, I’m out!”.

#54

Went to a friend’s birthday party at his favorite club. Found out he’d not only invited my a*****e ex, but also paid for her train ticket to come up and see him. One of my good friends let me know that she was there, and the friend I rode with was like “Nope, f**k this. We’re out”, and we went back home.

#55

I got denied a 2 or 3 percent merit increase (cost of living/inflation increase) at my company despite them being a leader in the market and making money hand over fist. I was in a meeting with my boss’s boss and he got an email about the merit increase for one of my peers. He was already making about 75% more money than I was, and got an increase. I immediately changed my status on linkedin and started getting bombarded with opportunities. I start a new job on Jan 2nd.

#56

My ex wife. She was a drunk, and away at training to be a flight attendant. Spent ridiculous amounts of money on getting wasted as often as possible. One night we’re on the phone, argument ensues (because she’s drunk), and she says, “I’m tired of you. You don’t do s**t for me”. So I hung up, called AT&T, cancelled her cell phone, called State Farm and cancelled the insurance on her car, took all her s**t out of my house and stuffed it in her car, called her parents to come get her car and told them I was done. The guy who never did s**t for her, except pay for literally everything, actually stopped doing s**t.

In the end, like 3 months later she got fired for failing to show up to work because… well, she was drunk.

edit: story conclusion: After being fired she called me, admitted the problem, and we had a nice long talk, but it was the end for me. We both happily moved on, and from what I understand she got control of her drinking eventually and is doing well.

#57

When my old boss told me that they would not be reporting a sexual a*****t on campus to the police. It was a private high school. I reported it myself and gave my two weeks that afternoon.

Edit: Guys, this was years ago. I dealt with it how I dealt with it. I was going through some personal trauma at the time (I ended up in the hospital after I gave my two weeks but before I left, and the same boss told other faculty members why- it was very personal) and I did the best I could. I consulted an attorney who gave me all of my options. I took the quickest one out.

#58

Cutco. A friend and I went to go interview for a summer “job” that some random guy invited us to on our college campus. Five minutes in we realized something about this interview was off (who does group interviews anyways)? But we were too nonconfrontational to do anything about it. Ten minutes after that, after the “we’re not a pyramid scheme, we’re just, uh…vertical marketing!” spiel, someone got up and left, and we followed. F**k MLMs.

#59

I scuba dive a lot in Key Largo where reef sharks are common (reef sharks are small for sharks and mostly scavengers – not aggressive.) One day I lucked into a naturally occurring baited shark dive.

There were 7 sharks in a holding pattern waiting for a snapper which was bitten and hiding. I was excitedly in the middle, getting some nice pictures.

I noticed a couple of them acting a bit squirrely, but wasn’t too fussed about it.

As one of the larger ones took its patterned route past me, it suddenly did a 180 and charged me.

Man, it’s easy to forget how fast and powerful they are when they want to be! I held up my camera rig to fend it off, but it made a hard turn at the last moment. Only its pectoral fin actually touched.

I was very much “F**k this, I’m out” at that point and went to watch from the top of the reef with other divers.

I learned a couple of things though: How to better distinguish between reef sharks and small bull sharks and that just being present around potential food source is considered provoking them.

#60

I was poached by a company which seemed like a leader in the field. It was a good opportunity and they brought me on to build out a specific offering at their agency. Even at my old agency we had done some competitor research that basically said these guys were the best of the best. So when I got the offer, it was a no-brainer.

But then I get there and it turns out the department I’m in is complete garbage. The rest of the company seemed pretty good, doing interesting stuff. But leadership didn’t care about our department much and the people leading it weren’t really invested, and so it was basically a bunch of junior employees just doing whatever they thought was right. I didn’t really have a direct way of influencing that since I was like a support piece to the main department. I’d work on their projects, for a particular purpose, but didn’t have any authority over their projects as a whole. Still, I figured once I was there a while, I could push for some changes and try taking on more of a leadership role.

Anyway, I’m there almost a year and I get invited to speak at an industry conference. I had spoken at some conferences before, and so that’s not unusual. The speaking engagements were on my resume when I applied, and I had assumed they were seen as positives by the company when hiring me. However, they tell me I’m not allowed to go. They have a policy that speaking engagements are reserved for “VPs and above”. So, I ask them about making an exception, that it’s a good opportunity for the agency to be represented at the conference. They won’t budge. I say I can pay my own way. They still don’t budge. I say I can just go as myself then, and I won’t mention the agency. (I have my own small company where I do similar work basically as a freelancer with a small team of people, so I could have been “Clayburn from Clayburn, LLC” instead.) But they say it doesn’t matter, that I’d still be seen as a representative of the company and they can’t approve it.

The conference was in Las Vegas and I had never been. So, I wanted to go and decided I’d just go anyway. They’re like, “Well, we said you can’t.” And I said, “Yeah, but I’m going.” “We’d have to let you go then.” “Okay.” So, I guess I was fired. I went to Las Vegas and made a little vacation of it, and it was one of my favorite presentations I’ve done. It was about the psychology techniques behind social media networks. And Vegas was a nice place to visit. I got to see Penn & Teller, and I lost about $300 gambling.

#61

I was 15 working at a gas station. I wasn’t scheduled to work that day and my sister was in town. I hadn’t seen her for about a year. Boss called and said someone called in sick and he needs me to come in to work. In the past I had been very accommodating as it was about a block from my house and easy for me to get there fast. This time I told him I couldn’t come in that day because of my sister being in from out of town. I’ll always remember this. He says “what’s more important? Your sister or your job.” F**k this, I’m out.

#62

My friends and I were hiking in a secluded area in Maine one summer, just messing around and making a lot of noise. We stumbled upon what looked like an abandoned campsite, trash everywhere, and a deskchair set on some rocks. We took a lot of the trash and the chair with us. We where wheeling the chair down the path when we saw a stream off to the left, and wandered over to it. We spent probably 5 minutes looking at the stream. When we returned to the path the chair was gone. We hadn’t heard anything. We left very quickly.

#63

Montgomery , AL, two years ago driving down south with my girlfriend. 3 am gas stop while she’s asleep, walk in to prepay. As I walk out, see a huddle of crackwhores taking hits and handing their money to their pimp who’s dressed in the whole 70s era pimp suit, feathered hat and cane and all.

“They all f**k for just 20 bones my man”

I’ve never been back to Alabama.

#64

I was on a job interview for a dog daycare/boarding kennel. It was very old fashioned and had been there for 50+ years. For those who don’t know, old school dog training is basically just abusing the dog into obedience.

Anyway, the dude interviewing me was asking me how I would call over a dog that was across the yard/get their attention. I forget what my response was but he said he *throws a Kong at them*. At first I thought he meant like, threw it near them or against the fence to get their attention. But no, he meant he actually PELTED the dogs with the Kong. For those who don’t know, Kongs are heavy dog toys made from thick rubber that really hurt if dropped or thrown at you from even a short distance. I was horrified. Needless to say I didn’t accept the job there.

#65

The night a guy I dated for years ran through the front door of our apartment sideways, yelling, “Honey I know you don’t approve of hard d***s, but I just smoked cr*ck and it was AWESOME.”.

#66

So there’s this horse that we have at our ranch named Secret who’s incredibly stubborn – she’s an Appaloosa, so it’s to be expected.

Well, I’m a trail guide at this ranch and we had a big ride going out so I’m like “I need a reliable horse for this job,” and I had taken out Secret just for fun a couple days ago and she’d been good, so I decide to grab her again.

Cue her pacing, pawing and almost literally screaming at her pasture friend the entire time I was getting her set up. She would half-rear and attempt to step on my feet at every single opportune moment; I manage to ignore it somewhat at first. I have another horse that I use who does most of the same s**t but she calms down once you get the bridle on and hop on.

Oh, not this time. I walk around the back of this creature to untie her and she lunges for me and bites me in the side, right below ribs. I’m not bleeding, and I still have to take out this god d**n ride, so I give her a pop with the lead rope and a smack on the shoulder, hoping that that was just a moment of stupidity. (And mind you, this horse is really stupid – and I mean really stupid – I have a feeling that she may have a slight mental condition because it takes her a lot longer to react or process things than all of our other horses and her eyes seem to point in vastly different directions at any given moment).

My “f**k this, I’m out” moment comes as I’m trying to put the bridle on. This horse is pacing circles around me, trying to rear and simultaneously knock me over with her head, not standing still for anything. I gave up, quickly took off any tack I had on her and threw her back into the pasture – ended up asking my boss if I could just take a break this time and if my other coworker could just manage this by himself.

It was an absolutely absurd turn of events, given that it had never happened again – not even to me – I took her out again a few weeks after that and although she was her usual stubborn, r******d self, she did her job and didn’t throw a fuss.

F*****g horses, man.

#67

Professor said that “Nobody ever gets an A in my class”.

#68

This happened several years ago. I was employed as a guard while I and my wife moved into our current city. The issue was the manager was wayyyyyy to intense. During the two months she started attempting to manage my life for the sake of the job, she told me I should quit school because of its a distraction, and that my wife (who worked 2 AM to 10 AM) should quit her job so she had an easier time getting me to work on time. Note I was always 10 minutes early she wanted me one half an hour early. During all this, I was never fully trained because she never trusted anyone and to top it off she allowed one of our senior co-workers bully me during my 12-hour shifts. Never got a reason why though.

One night I just couldn’t stand it and I broke down. I came up to the upper office and let it out. No one was around mind you, it was on third shift. I decided at that moment that it wasn’t worth it, no job was worth that. So I said f**k this I’m out. I went down to the security desk, tossed my key’s, badge and other things on the desk and walked. 10 minutes later she even called me to b***h me out over it like she still had authority over me. I told her straight that she wasn’t to call me at home for any reason.

Fun thing is that months later I got hired for IT in that company, the guy who bullied me and her weren’t happy but they had no power to do anything. It was great.

#69

When my mom’s water broke.

#70

In highschool I was a nanny for this family during the day. Then the mom would drop me off at Cold Stone – my first “real job”. The assistant manager who was always there was a completely horrid person. Looking back she had to have been under 24 at the time. She was rude, went in back smoked pot on job, invited guys to come and hang with her and they were always kinda sketchy. She had it out for me bc I was the “first time employee who was trying to do a great job!”. I remember dreading going to work and getting that pit in my stomach because i was so terrified of her. She would always threaten to cut my hours or just do things to screw me over.

One day, the mom was late to get me and drop me off at work. She came in with me bc she knew i was scared of this girl and would get yelled at. She went up and apologized for me, said it was completely her fault, I nanny her kids, she got stuck in traffic, it wont happen again, but please dont take it out on me. This girl loses her mind!! she calls the mom a b***h to her face told her to F off and went on some rant that i dont remember because i was in utter shock lol The mom looked at me and said “you done here? I think you’re done here.” Turns to this crazy girl and goes “you are the rudest person ive ever met. I’m sorry for how insecure you must be to act like this. She quits!” She grabbed my arm and we stormed out! I was SHOCKED and horrified… at the time I thought she had ruined my career lol by quitting my first job for me. Looking back i think its hysterical and wish I had a recording of it.

#71

I worked at a factory for a month, and not only was I absolutely miserable, the work was hard and we couldn’t sit for our 8 hour shift, and we we’re only allowed a 15 minute lunch, no breaks. Sometimes, I had to come in at 4 rather than 6 to “catch up on our orders”. I hopped outta there, and I got a way better job as a ride operator at a local amusement park.

#72

Some friends of mine have a restaurant and were really short handed one summer so I offered to help, between being able to do everything outside of the kitchen and a really good shucker it was a pretty good summer, made some nice cash and they were really happy. Towards the end of the season when a lot of the help starts leaving the people left start getting bumped up, servers becomes bartenders, hostesses become servers, and so on. This foreign hostess that was now a server started trying to tell me how to do my job(s) and was trying to be a royal b***h because she realized how much money other people were making so I went up to the office and asked to talk to them, told them it was a good summer and we got through it but that it would be a good idea for me to stop while we were still friends (half jest) and she looked at me and said, “thank you very much we appreciate it, you ever want to work here again let us know”

I could have said something about the girl but she was part of a group of overseas students with j1 visas so it would have just caused some drama, and at the end of the season I don’t think that was worth it for anybody.

#73

Worked as a bartender/waiter in a busy city centre pub. We had been getting slammed all morning, shortstaffed probably. It was hell. Just as we had caught up I took 20 seconds to grab a drink and chat to one of my favourite regulars. Just then, my new area manager walked in, spotted me, and berated me for standing around doing nothing. I tried to explain how busy it had been, but he didn’t care. I got my first disciplinary in 4 years off the back of it. I was pissed, and handed my notice in the next day.

#74

I was engaged to guy and he wouldn’t tell me the state of his finances, which I already knew was not good. I just wanted to see what we would need to do to improve it. He didn’t trust me enough with that information and I didn’t trust him with my heart after that. Ended it.

#75

At a previous job the guy managing the site was obviously trying to get me to leave. One day I openly questioned the stupid things they were trying to make us do, as in it wasn’t physically possible, and after that I found myself written up, place on a “performance plan” aka “strict rules for those close to being fired”, and treated like a troublemaker. I went from several years of excellent service to on the s**t list during one day.

Everyone hated this manager and people felt like since he was put in charge the site was getting more hositle toward employees.

After being put on this “performance plan” a couple months later I was forced out of my position to a different one on a shift that this manager knew would interfere with my home life and cause me to be sleep deprived. I had been asking to go to a different shift because of the home/work balance for a while now and he knew it.

I couple accept the new position and shift or get fired. He even made it a point to tell me that he spent the last couple months going over this transition with HR to make sure that it was following company rules.

After that my annual raise was 0.9% and I’m thinking that it was selected to be under 1% as a “f**k you”.

So, f**k it. I’m out.

I wasn’t in the job that I came here for. I started having to operate 4 hours of sleep a night max making me horribly sleep deprived. He was trying to force me to quit. Other people were also saying that it really seemed like he wanted me out.

So I started doing the absolute bare minimum to not get fired, intentionally slowed my work, stopped correcting problems not 100% in my new job description, and started looking for a new job. I found one and left.

Normally overseeing managers are supposed to give an “exit interview” to leaving employees. This guy took a vacation day on my last day.

Since I left, 2 years ago, they ended up having to replace the manager under this guy since the lower manager left and 3 other people in my old department, out of a ~30 person total department, have also left.

#76

When I was a kid I worked at a yard and garden/craft store as a carry out. During the summer it was all about loading up customers cars with sod, river stones, soil, plants and paving stones. In the winter it was Christmas trees.

First year was great my boss was amazing and the staff all generally got a long.

Second year he transferred out and his replacement was horrible. Sales started to dip, she joked about laying people off. Freezing because you’ve been loading Christmas trees outside for 4 hours in -30C? Tough s**t. Sick? To bad you came in you’re staying. Want some water because you’re loading cars in 30 degree heat? Nope!

Just a generally mean person. It got to the point where I was the only full time daytime carryout left. Then one day I finish a shift feeling like I’d been kicked in the nuts. The pain just gets worse and doesn’t stop. So I go and see my doctor. Turns out I’d torn my groin muscle. He gives me a week off and gives me a scrip for 2 weeks of light duties when I get back.

Go in give my boss the scrip she screams at me for causing her extra work and tells me to get out of her sight. Get back after the week and schools out so we have tonnes of staff. I figure I’ll be doing light duties, nope. Back to the loading area lifting paving stones. Didn’t bother punching out and as the loading area for customers is right up front, I just walk out and keep going.

The company as a whole went bankrupt a few years later. Actually ended up working with someone who happened to be a manager at another location and knew the situation at my old store. Turns out my former boss was fired after almost 60 people quit between June and October of that year.

#77

An ex a long time ago had trouble with alcohol. i was *very* young, didn’t quite understand just how serious the problem was, etc. he was also much older than me and divorced. he would knock back a few vodkas every night (and i mean, actually gulp drinks down, average of five or six large), and be verbally a*****e. and then the next morning it was like nothing happened.

he always put me down. on everything. i was too dumb, too thin, my parents had saved up and lived in the posh part of town (yes, that was a mark against me), that my depression was “rich people’s problems.” one time he told me i’d make a bad mother because i had a job. i was in a rough spot. had very little self confidence, extremely low self esteem. but something about that sentence bothered me. i felt like a claw had gotten lodged inside the deepest part of me. this was a man i was going against the world for, someone i wanted a family, a future with.

i left him. he cajoled me back with the “i promise i’ll stay sober, i’ll never touch another drink again” stuff. yes, i fell for it and went back. a week later he was back at it, telling me what a moron i was. i walked out for the last time. not sure what gave me the courage to do so, but i’m certain that if i had stayed, he’d have used his fists. he was rough enough with getting his “needs” satisfied.

it’s not quite as dramatic, but it’s perhaps the only time i’ve taken a stand for myself.

#78

Nearly 18 years ago on New Years eve, my friends and I were all tripping on shrooms, when one suddenly had the great idea to call up a friend of his that he knew I liked and invite her over.

She said sure if she could bring her friend (I believe not knowing we were tripping), and I was already thinking about nyoping out considering I was pretty damned high and didnt want to make an idiot of myself in front of her.

So we took a walk-about to meet her half way… Which ended up being right in front of a police station (bad enough)… Then as we got closer, we realized it wasn’t her, but her underage 15 year old sister (WTFFuuuuu), and 14 year old friend … who my buddy was actually talking to on the phone without realizing.

NOPE! I kept walking right to the train station and went home.

On the plus side, I did end up getting together with the girl I liked, and we’ve been married 15 years. Her sister still insists my friend knew it was actually her on the phone, and honestly it wouldn’t surprise me, dude was a perv.

#79

When my college professor required us to sign up for a class at a different college (and pay full price) to get credit for “his” class.

I said “f**k this” and dropped out.

#80

I was biking with a female friend of mine. She needed to toss a water bottle in the garbage, and we spotted a garbage can about 20 meters away from the trail in a nearby field/parkspace. There was a little bit of liquid left in the bottle, so rather than have her walk across the grass to toss it in, I grabbed it and said “allow me.”

I gave it the best Kareem hook shot I had in me, and to my surprise, it nailed a park ranger right in the face. F**k the police.

#81

I was with some friends, we were all drunk. We walked out of a bad greasy spoon at 3am, and ran into some guys walking into the restaurant, also drunk.

I was the last in my group, and I accidentally rubbed shoulders with the first guy in that group.

Immediately, he starts talking s**t, but I just ignore him and keep walking to the parking lot.

I’m about halfway to my car when he says something that particularly offends me, because it was targeted at one of the girls with us.

I turn around, and seconds later, we’re in the middle of a blank spot in the parking lot with our friends off to the sides.

Eye to eye, he finally realizes that I’m a pretty big guy. We have a tense silence for a few seconds, then, under my breath, I quietly say…

“You’re going to say – F**k this guy, he ain’t worth it – you’re going to turn around, walk away and rejoin your friends. And you’re going to do that because if you don’t, you won’t need to eat, because I’m going to feed you your f*****g shoes.”

About five seconds passed before he said, “F**k this guy, he ain’t worth it,” and rejoined his friends.

#82

Mine is copypasta from another thread I posted in. And, it was more of a “don’t f**k with me because my brother is batsh*t crazy” moment.

I have an older gay brother. It was pretty well known he was gay in high school, but nobody ever flat out asked me about it.
One day, two guys from the football team (both Juniors) are giving me a hard time. Suddenly: Brother. Walks over and says, “Hey. Leave him alone. This isn’t a request.”

One guy replies, “Shut up, f****t. What are you going to do?”

My brother’s answer still sticks with me to this day. “See, you should think about that. I’ve been a f****t as long as I can remember. Which means I got into fights every day. So, I know I can fight. How about you? Can you actually fight? Or do you just try to scare people? Because you don’t scare me. I’ve f****d guys bigger than you. Again. Leave my brother alone.”

“F**k you f*g.”

“You’re not my type. I like men.”

At this point, a little crowd had gathered, and they began to laugh at my brother’s last comment. The two guys scowled, huffed, and walked away.

My brother looked at me, smiled, and said “Sorry if that was awkward.”.

#83

A little over two years ago I had a total thyroidectomy to treat thyroid cancer. The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped pile of glands that lay along the lower front of your neck. To take them out they had to cut a fairly large slit along my neck, and as you will see, it was pretty gnarly. This picture is about four months after the surgery, and two months after this story.

Skip forward two months after the surgery. I’m back in university and mingling in a bar with some friends. A prototypical bro is harassing one of the girls in our group. I walk over to try and separate them, and it’s immediately obvious that this bro is spoiling for a fight. He’s a good four inches over me, puffing and slapping his chest, rattling off “You wanna go?” ad infinitum.

I’m about five drinks deep at this point, and I’m not having any of this. I calmly turn to my friend and hand her my drink. Returning my attention to the bro, who now has a few fellow bro-clan at his back, I look him dead in the eyes.

“I want to go? I. Want. To. *Go?*”

I rip open the neck of my shirt, buttons popping off and revealing a still-healing slit neck. “**YOU’RE M***********G RIGHT I WANT TO GO**.”

At this point everyone in the immediate area has shut up and turned to look. Those in front of me are gawking at my neck. The antagonist bro mumbles a “*Jesus Christ s**t*” as he backs into the equally stunned backup bros. I retrieve my drink from my friend as onlookers come forward to ask what happened to my neck.

The rest of the night was quite enjoyable. I don’t remember all of it, but I do know I didn’t pay for any of the booze I drank after that. I also had four new numbers saved in my phone by the next morning, none of them having names I recognized.

**tl;dr:** Cancer beats bros.

#84

I work at a bar as a bouncer. I don’t look like the biggest guy, but I do strength training regularly. I deal with @$$holes on a nightly basis. One particular caught my eye when he was literally screaming at his GF inside my bar. I walked up to him and let him know that if he did that again he would be picking garbage from his teeth. Him being drunk didn’t listen, as I’m clearing out the bar at bar close I see him again across the bar near the front door (near the trash can filled with random bar s**t and bottles) he yells at her again reaches back and slaps her, she goes to the floor. I crushed a path through the patrons and he didn’t see me coming. One punch KO’d him and he landed head first in the trash can, I then proceeded to put the rest of him in it, and picked his GF up off the floor and contacted the police. They laughed upon arriving at him still being in the trash can.

edit: at our bar the front door trash can is an inside joke, I wasn’t the first to do this to a drunky.

#85

I was in the Marines, and I was stationed in Japan for 2 years. All within a 2 month period, about at my first year mark, I got in trouble for underage drinking, got reduced in rank, was on military restriction during my birthday, my girlfriend broke up with me, my dog died, my Step-dad sold my motorcycle, and my mom crashed my car. I felt like I had nothing. I was in an interesting state of depression, in which my mood was, as the title says, a “Don’t f**k with me mood.” I was at the on-base bar (of age now), and was just simply, “drinking my sorrows away”. I see this female being harassed by some drunk a*s male Marines, and she actually looked like she needed help. It was 3 huge Marines that looked like they would pummel anybody. I had the drunken thing going through my mind of, “I got nothing else to lose other than my life at this point, might as well go save this woman.” So I walk over and tell the guys to get away from the girl. They look at me and laugh. I look down with a smirk of “time to look like I’m a psychopath.” I then say in a very creepy, jarring, mental patient type of voice, “I got some mental issues with you my friend and I have nothing more to lose. You might call me s******l, but I will beat your a*s so hard the only way to stop me is going to k**l me. So you might want to just get the hell away.” I don’t know how I did it, but I literally freaked out three 230 pounds of muscle Marines, and I was only 170. I then turn to the bartender and tell them to give me another drink so I can calm down. The bartender hands me another Jack and Coke, as the girl thanks me. I slam the drink like it could be a shot, with what I am guessing was a baddass psychopathic looking face, and walked out of the bar. I then noticed that everyone in the bar was watching me leave in silence. They all knew not to f**k with me. I was on my last inch of sanity.

Fast forward 5 years, I am doing fine now. No more mental issues. Thanks for reading.

EDIT: this happened at my 1 year and 8 month mark in the military. 1 year in Japan mark. And all the events happened within 2 months at that point of time. To clarify.

#86

Two guys at a bar (one sitting next to me and the other across) started f*****g with me for no apparent reason. They were clearly s*******d; the fact that I ordered the s****y bar pizza is a testament to the fact that I was nearing that point too. At the point the waitress comes by and drops my pizza off the guy across from me is basically challenging me to “walk outside”. At that moment, the sad excuse of a d****e next to me makes a grab at my pizza. Through some amazing drunken luck, I see this out of the corner of my eye, launch my arm out and backslap the s**t out of this guy’s arm. They must have thought I knew martial arts because they didn’t say a word after this and got up to leave.
**tl;dr** – don’t f**k with my pizza.

#87

Among many of my security jobs, I have worked Loss Prevention for two major retailers. ( For those wondering, Loss Prevention is essentially catching shoplifters.) Eventually you just kinda know who to watch and who not to. One day my partner (a female) and I started watching this guy. Early 20’s overly muscled and spray tanned, with a guido jersey shore hair cut and a muscle shirt. He is of course, looking at other muscle shirts in the store. We see him select 5 shirts and go into the fitting room. LONG story short, we know that he steals 8 of these shirts eventually, and me and my co workers are with him acting as an arguing acting couple the whole time. He eventually goes to leave the store which is when we can stop him. So we get in front of him at the door’s, identify ourselves and ask him to come with us. Now I normally slouch a lot but im 6’4. So the kid gets in my face saying he didn’t do anything, and if I don’t move he’s gonna kick my a*s. So all I did was stare at him and say “Make a decision about what you’re going to do, and we will go from there.” Totally calm, with a straight face. He kinda blinked and got a weird look in his eye and asked me, “What?” So I repeated myself. “I said, make a decision, about what youre going to do. We will go from there.” He kinda sat there for a few seconds and leaned back a bit, and started harrassing my female co worker instead. At that point I snapped my fingers and told him to pay attention to me. After that we placed him in handcuffs and lead him to the office for processing.

Since then I have used that line multiple times at other LP, Security Jobs, and even at bars. The ONLY time anyone has ever done anything after that, was a patient from a mental hospital I worked at who was schizophrenic and at that point it didnt matter what I said.

Edit: 60% of the time, it works everytime.

#88

I am a lady, a little lady, and I enrolled in a Judo class last year. I was never very good at sports and at this time, I was not used to muscle soreness and not very coordinated. I stuck with it and moved up into the advanced class.

My least favorite thing is randori, or sparring. It gets very intense. At the time I was 115lb and the next lightest class member was probably 190lb. While judo is a lovely sport and martial art that uses geometry and physics to counter the opponent as opposed to just brute muscle strength, that muscle still helps. Also, it takes me a little longer to understand throws because it’s harder for me to translate what I see into what I do.

I know I’m not the best, I would joke and laugh whenever I did something wrong instead of getting angry or frustrated. Unfortunately, I was treated differently by my classmates (not my instructor, awesome dude). I got a lot of eye rolls if I would make a mistake, even if others made the same mistake. It got on my nerves, but my instructor assured me that I was doing fine and was on the same page with everyone. Since I had to rely on physics and balance, I had to do combinations exactly correct while others could just lift and throw using muscle.

So, one day we end class with randori, and I have to participate. *Fine, it’s the only way I’ll get better,* I thought. I’m paired up with a guy who is at least 80lb heavier (I mention this for a visual later). We’re sparring and I keep trying to do a throw that we had learned that day, [harai goshi, I believe.](https://ift.tt/kOgsEQY) So I am trying and just not getting it. I’m trying to keep a smile on my face so I don’t appear frustrated or angry, and the a*****e decides to start a sentence with the phrase, “You know what your problem is?”

“You know what your problem is?” Oh hell to the no. Now, if he would have said, “Here, what if you did this…” or “May I make a suggestion?” I wouldn’t be angry, but the phrase, “You know what your problem is?” made something explode inside me. “Oh no, what is it?” I asked with the angriest brown doe eyes you could imagine. “You can’t do it,” he said.

I hulked out.

I threw him three times, twice with harai goshi and once with [morote](https://ift.tt/VEwWf8Y). After each throw, putting him in a kesa gatame, which is a pin that I am beast at because I can fan my body weight out well. The last time I had my bicep and whatever the forearm muscle is called around his neck in a hold, I said, “No, tell me again what my f*****g problem is.”

Totes weird, didn’t hear anyone talkin’ s**t to me like that again.

**tl;dr** – I am tiny and try martial arts. Someone asks me “You know what your problem is?” I beat the s**t out of them.

edit: added tl;dr.

#89

I was living with a middle aged woman. Since I am middle aged as well this was a fairly decent arrangement.

Her daughter was living with us as well. 17 years old and hell on wheels.

From what I understand, one of her former boyfriends became upset with her because she had a new boyfriend. He was going to come to my home and beat the s**t out of her under my roof. He said that if I got in his way, he was going to beat my a*s as well.

A friend of hers caught wind of what was happening and called her mother. She called me.

The boy showed up with an audience. I greeted them just by poking my head out of the door and telling them to get the f**k off of my property.

A*****e gets out of the vehicle. I open the door and he can see that I’m packing a .45 in a shoulder rig. I also have an 870 by the door.

I hear a folorn “Hi, brerrabbitt.” from his friend that came along to witness him beating my a*s.

I repeat my demand that the man remove himself from my property and he complied.

It could have been the gun. Then again it could have been the shovel leaning against my truck and the fact that no one would come looking for him if he disappeared that far from town.

#90

Playing paintball, me and some dude I just met were playing a game that required we defend a small plywood village on a hill. Everyone around us was getting picked off for about 30 minutes. Then the whistle was blown by the ref, signaling that our team was allowed to leave the village.

With a nod, we took off in the opposite direction of the attacking team, running down the hill and circling around. Running full speed we rounded the hill. No one saw us coming. Their attention was centered on the plywood village. One by one, we shot EVERY SINGLE member of the other team.

It was the most badass game of my entire life. A ref saw the whole thing and tossed us two cheap little keychains with the name of the field as a keepsake to remember it by. I still have the keychain.

#91

I was with a bunch of guy friends at a bar drinking. For some reason, this girl was not happy with me, I wouldn’t even be able to tell you why. I’m sure it’s because I was female too, and you shouldn’t step to someone’s gender like that. Anyway. I’m pretty non-confrontational, but about 45 minutes of her yelling at me every time she sees me walk around a corner I start getting fed up. I was a little tipsy, mind you, but the she approached me as I was standing in front of a big hallway mirror with multiple friends around. She walked up to me, put her face close to mine and said “don’t turn around, there’ll be a b***h staring back at you”. I looked blankly at her for a second and then all of a sudden *WHAM*. I felt my arm hook around and my clenched fist hit her right in the side of the head, and she fell down. Everyone just stood in silence for a minute until she started screaming, at which point I was calmly sipping from the drink that was still in my left hand. She ran away hysterical, calling the bouncer over and screaming “THAT’S HER!” the bouncer looked at me, noticed I was not tripping over myself and didn’t have tears streaming down my face like she was, turned to her and said “Get out, now”. The whole bar had stopped to watch at this point, and as she was walking out I got an entire bar full of applause. It was awesome.

#92

When I was younger, I kissed the first ever girl I went out with, and around 2 minutes after that I proceeded to kick this guy (who was a total a*****e to this girl) right in his nose, breaking it. Never have I heard so many screams of rejoice because I did something cool for once in my life.

#93

My girlfriend has a watch and a ring of great sentimental value that she had left at my apartment last Summer, right before I moved in with her. Knowing the vast importance of these items, I put them in a chest of drawers that I know I’ll be moving.

For the move, I hired a cleaning crew to help me pack and clean my apartment. As is typical in the southern US, the cleaning crew was composed 100% of undocumented, Hispanic, non-English-speaking workers (I have no problem with this whatsoever- but that’s for a different thread). I’m friendly with these women, give them anything I didn’t want to keep out of the apartment, some beers, and tipped them well.

I get to my girlfriend’s house with the U-Haul, and as we’re unpacking, come to realize that her watch and ring are missing. F**k. She is not happy… and this whole ‘living together’ thing is off to a very rough start. I tell her that the cleaning crew must have taken them, that I was 100% positive they were in the chest of drawers, but she thinks I’m bullsh*tting to mask my carelessness.

I call the company the next day to politely ask to speak with one of the women (I speak Spanish).

“We don’t do that.”

“You can’t let me talk to the woman…? Can you take a message?”

“No. Well, I can take a message, but she’s not in here very often.”

The receptionist sounds about 18, and hardly the university-bound type. I decide that there is a 0% chance of her being able to outsmart me, so I call back about 2 hours later.

“Hi, this is [arbitrary name], I’m an attorney for the INS following up on a complaint about the hiring of undocumented workers. As this is a government-sanctioned investigation, you can be held personally liable for a fine of up to $250,000 and 30 days imprisonment if you interfere or withhold information.” [This is not even remotely based in fact]

Girl: S***s brick.

Me, continuing: “So the first thing I’ll need are the names, home addresses, and social security numbers for the three women cleaning [my actual name]’s house yesterday, since this is the origin of the complaint.” [If I’m going to get outed, this would be the time]

The girl couldn’t get me the information fast enough. I write it all down.

I call the woman in charge, and give her an easy way to opt out: “I know I gave you a bag of stuff yesterday, I think I mistakenly left these things in there.”

“Don’t remember seeing them…”

“Could you check? And maybe call the other women? This is really important, I can pay you…”

[Look, this woman scrapes by. I get it, she cleans a nice apartment for a working, single guy, jewelry or cash is a bonus. I just want this back so my gf doesn’t shank me in my sleep]

“I don’t think we have it. I have to g-“

“Listen, I didn’t want it to come to this, but my friend is an INS agent, and he’s right down the street from [her actual address]. He said he could stop by and make sure your visa for SS# [her fake SS#] was in order. If it’s not, you could be deported this week.” [Dead silence]

“OH MY GOD, OK, I’LL CALL THE OTHER WOMEN AND GET IT BACK!” No question about how I got the info.

I drive to go pick her stuff up, and all ends well.

**TL;dr- Girlfriend’s jewelry stolen from my apartment by cleaning crew, impersonated a federal agent to get it back.**.

#94

I work as an EMT, and one time, we had a bloodbath of a call. Old lady had d**n near scalped herself in a fall, and it was quite messy, trying to keep her calm to keep the bandage on here freely flowing head. After the call, I was covered from the front down, in my uniform, and took off the top layer to reveal my undershirt, which was also covered in blood. Too late in the day and not caring, I hopping in the back, of the rig, and headed to base to change. My apartment was a mile from the base, so I headed there instead. As we pull up, I hear voices yelling, and hop out in my now blood drenched clothes. I turn around the corner and see 3 guys harassing(Grabbing and pulling) one of my neighbors, an elderly woman who doesnt speak much english.

So I quickly take stock of the situation, and grab a tire iron from the side of the rig, which was slightly out of view. I take a few steps, and yell “Leave her alone, or your going to pay,” while my partner calls for PD backup. They turn around, just as some of the outside lights come on, and reveal me, a 5’10” skinny guy, covered in blood, with tactical pants on, with a tire iron. Their faces were priceless. Suddenly one of them books, and the other says to the last guy there “F**k, I’m not dealing with that dude” and follows his friend. I help the lady, and then realize what a scary sight I was, some dude, covered in blood with a tire iron, coming out from around the corner into the light, and angry.

She ended up being fine, and I changed rather quickly after that, police came, and got what little info they could, and we were all on our way. But g*****n, I felt like a superhero.

TLDR; Covered in blood, I scared off 3 thugs who wanted to beat an old Russian lady, with a tire iron and good lighting.

Edit, Added a comma.

#95

My favorite badass moment happened in 5th grade.
I was a tiny, towhead blonde girl who got picked on a lot. Even though I was at a private school, the kids got really violent. (Lots of pent up privileged rage?) Anyway, one day in music class, a kid about 40 pounds heavier and a foot and a half taller than me kicks me in the back and I fall on my face. The teacher does nothing. I came home with a bruise from my tailbone to my scapula. Naturally, my mom wasn’t pleased. After she met with the school and they still took no disciplinary action, she gave me permission to exercise any defensive action I saw fit if he ever touched me again.

Fast forward about a week, and I’m on the top of the play structure at recess. The kid comes up to me and starts trash talking to get me to leave. I try to ignore him, and refuse to move. Then he decides to start laughing about how I need someone else to fight for me. Now I’m starting to get pissed, but I keep my cool.

Then he decides it’s a good idea to bring up my mother and pushes me.
Now, this kid wanted to be a marine. I think I crushed that dream…literally.

I grab him by his shirt collar and run him to the edge of the structure, slam him into the metal pole on one side, and throw him headfirst over the edge. He broke his collarbone.

Best part? He got suspended for five days. I got nothing. No kid ever f****d with me again.

#96

Oh, I actually had mine just the other day!

I’d been drinking quite heavily, as this happened just after Ireland lost the match to Croatia (I don’t handle losses very well). I’m walking to another pub with my friend, and some drunk f****r starts mouthing off at us. A real belligerent c**t, like. We try to get rid of him, and when his phone rings, I figure we’ve finally lucked out of this d******d. We pick up the pace and try to shake him off, but he’s so drunk that he’s shouting into his phone, so we can easily hear it. He refers to us as bitches several times, just being a real lower colon. His phonecall ends and he catches up to us (this guy was f*****g huge, so it won’t have been very hard to gain in on two short girls). This is when he makes a comment about my a**e.

I’d been getting annoyed for a good while, but that was when I snapped. I whipped around and got all up in his face. I had the fronting-hand going and everything. I don’t even know where the courage came from… Wait, I do – Jaegermeister – but I give him the best death stare I’ve given in my life. Then I deliver a line I, despite having been a writer since I was a kid, have never topped even in fiction.

“You’ve made a lot of bad decisions tonight. Now make a good one and walk away.”

He’s so surprised that he just stares for a few seconds, and then he tries to go after my friend. The classic, “your friend is a bit of a b***h, isn’t she” approach, but I’m having none of it. I keep my hand in his face and keep saying “Walk away. *Walk away*.”

He eventually realises that I am not even a little bit joking and f***s off. It was… Tremendously satisfying.

#97

Probably more of a d******d thing than a badass thing, but oh well.

I used to work at Starbucks in the city where a lot of trust-fund kids like to hang out and act homeless. There was always a group of them who stood out front of the store that was next to Starbucks, yelling at people, and usually playing hacky sack with each other. They made it a habit of yelling at anyone who walked through their game, threatening them. Bunch of b******t.

I was going into my shift one day and was in a rotten mood. There they were, playing that game in the middle of the sidewalk, blocking everyone. I walked right through them, interrupted the game, and they started to call me out. I kept walking until I felt the hacky sack hit me in the back. I picked it up and threw it on the roof of Starbucks and walked into work.

#98

I used to be a Park Ranger, and we had some limited law enforcement capabilities. A supervisor had thrown us some overtime to keep high school kids out of a playground after dark because some of the people in the neighborhood were complaining. They were noisy, throwing bottles at cars, puking everywhere, etc. I can see why people didn’t want them around. The park rules stated that they couldn’t enter the playgrounds after dark, so I was right in asking them to leave.

The first time we cleared the playground, we were very polite and put up with all their “get a real job!” and “fake cop” jokes. I heard that all the time. I worked 40 hours a week, got a nice salary and benefits, so I don’t know what their definition of a real job was, and it was a little funny hearing it from 18 year-olds. The second time, it was more of the same. The third time I cleared the same group of drunk teenagers out of the playground I was getting a little annoyed. I warned them they would be getting summonses next time I had to come back to this playground. I drove off and watched them all file back in after they retrieved their beer bottles from under the parked cars on the street. I went around the block and came back to the playground, blocking the exit with my truck. Now they all had to squeeze past my truck to exit. I had had it, this was my last warning. I had given these kids every chance to go home.

The last kid to exit, who was particularly drunk, leaned his head into my open window and said “F**k You, I’ll be back in 5 minutes” That pushed me over the edge. I threw my door open, and got out, which he was clearly not expecting. I could see he was hammered beyond the capability to put up much of a fight, so I said to him “you wanna go back in the playground? lets go! Now you can’t leave!” I grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him back into the playground and cuffed him. My partner was completely stunned, and he just stood by making sure no one tried to come to his rescue. I brought the kid, who was even more stunned, over to the car and began to search him and get him ready for transport. The other kids realized what was going on and began to shout at me, damanding I release their friend. One kid yelled “You can’t do that! You’re not a real cop!” to which I replied “I might not be a real cop, but he’s going to the REAL precinct in REAL handcuffs and he’s going to be charged with REAL misdemeanors and have a REAL criminal record!”

The kid cried real tears the whole way to the precinct. He was given an appearance ticket for disorderly conduct, trespassing, failure to comply, and open container. We didn’t have to go back to that playground for the rest of the summer.

#99

It isn’t much but here goes:

I was meeting a friend of mine for dinner at a dining court on campus. He showed up with some other of his friends too. Towards the end of the meal, they started dumping the leftover food and drink into a single glass and introduced me to what they called a ‘Dirty Larry’.

One of the guys started talking about starting an intramural basketball team. He was going around the table asking each person if they were a good basketball player. When he asked me, I simply picked up the Hush Puppy lying on my plate and tossed it into the Dirty Larry cup sitting 8 feet away.

Feels badass man.

TL;DR: Epic projectile skills.

#100

A guy talked his way into my neighbor’s house pretending to be from Comcast, and then left once he saw she had several large dogs. Neighbor called Comcast, there was no work order for her house, and she warned us to be on the lookout for a small bodied black truck and gave us a description of the guy.

Fast forward two days, and I look outside to see a guy parked in our cul de sac, in a small black truck, taking photos of our house. There was no reason to take photos of our house, it wasn’t for sell or architecturally pleasing in any way, so I decided the guy was casing the house to rob it.

Admittedly, I went a little red neck but I made myself as big as possible, barged out of the house and charged right at the truck. The look on the guy’s face was one of complete surprise as he threw the camera down and gunned the truck out of the neighborhood.

I’m a short female, but I guess charging at the guy with as much aggression as I could muster was badass enough. We never saw him on our street again.

#101

I was at a football game during college where the tickets sold were far too many for the space allotted (also they forgot to give the band a section so the band just took a bunch of seats assigned to ticket holders). Because of the over booking, many people were standing on the benches to be able to see. Once all the folks in front of us were standing on the bench, we were forced to as well. The frat brothers seated behind us did not like that we were standing on the benches and pushed my friend (who is 6’8″) off the bench claiming he was “too tall” to stand on the bench.
Since I was very drunk (and have a very poor self-preservation instinct) I decided to defend my friend by getting into a yelling match with the frat boys. After a few pretty harsh insults and threats of violence, one of the frat boy’s mother (who was sitting with her husband and the frat boy’s younger brother) starts yelling at me to leave her son (the one who pushed my friend) alone. She even had the gall to grab my shoulder to get my attention.
At this point I assume this will end in a fight where my friends and I get the s**t kicked out of us by like 30 frat guys, so I decide to take a different tact. I proceed to unleash the most vile string of insults and curse words at this woman for raising such a s****y kid and that her piece of s**t son is the instigator of this situation.
The look on the father’s face was absolutely beautiful, it was a combination of shock that would stand up for myself despite the clear odds against me and the realization that no matter how this ended he would have to deal with his wife after this (thank you Way of the Gun commentary for this idea). The dad slowly sunk into his seat and tried to blend into the crowd as the mom just got quite and looked towards her sons to come to her rescue. I finished by telling her to control her f*****g kid and let me watch the game in piece, then I turned around to watch the game. I hear her behind me begin to berate her husband and both her sons as to why they didn’t stick up for her. The father just says “let’s go” to his family and they all get up and leave (including the frat boy, who was quite whinny about leaving his friends). My friend further towards the aisle told me later that the younger son was saying to his mom that I was crazy and would have fought all of them. Probably ruined that whole family’s trip since they had to deal with a super pissed off mom for the rest of it. I am still shocked that the frat did not attack me after.

**TL;DR Almost got into a fight with about 30 frat boys, yelled at one of their mothers, family and the son all get up and leave.**.

#102

I have a best friend , one of my closest friends , well call him Ed. Crazy Ed actually.

As a high schooler at the time, 17 , I was a nerd and still am and I would consider myself a “lover and not a fighter” type of guy.

Crazy Ed would k**l you for no reason just to watch you burn. He and I love metal and Ed is the kind of guy if you say “You won’t do it, you p***y” Ed would do it instantly , he fears nothing.

One day we went for a trip into the city , involves public bus about 10 min ride from our outer suburb town.

It was just something to pass the time and as night rolled around we decided to head back to the train station and go home. It was suprisingly empty at this time of night , as we waited for our stop we hear yelling and fighting.

A woman was being beat on by her boyfriend or husband. Sad to say but I gotta be honest I wasn’t going to do anything about it, it pissed me off that I was such a wimp to not do anything but just act like it wasn’t my business and ignore it.

He was hitting her pretty good and Crazy Ed flung to the rescue.

Ed lept on this man, probably 30-35 and pretty d**n big, Ed being insane, 17 and afraid of nothing , he kicked the man in the leg , knocked him down and started the fight good.

At this point I help out , I suppose it was because I KNEW for some reason we would win this fight , or I would have chickened out.

I lept to action, I don’t fight often and haven’t been in many fights in my life prior to this moment, so I was nervious…. I was Amazing! The man had already gotten to his feet and was punching Ed pretty good before I finally grew the balls to help out

I zoomed in like lightning and caught the man with an uppercutt to the jaw knocking him square on his a*s, it was like I had the combustion power of a thousand suns inside of me …. 17 years of pent-up nerd rage exploded from me that day and this man was out cold.

I felt like a knight in shining armor and I had saved the day. The young woman was very thankful and a few mins after the train arrived….

This remains a fold moment for me and Ed to this day we always tell our tale of how we beat some guys a*s in the train station.

10 years later , I often include guns / zombies and lightsabers to ensure epic status.

#103

I’m 5’7″, but I “bounced” a pretty beefy drunk guy out of the bar for annoying the girls we were with. I did the cliche “Alright buddy, you’re done. Grabbed the back of his collar and walking him out the front door, giving him a final shove for good measure. I turned back around to the 2 bouncers that actually worked there and said “This guy is cut off” and walked back in to highfives and applause.

Truth be told I wouldn’t have tried that s**t if I didn’t have a few beers in me as well, and I was with a table of rugby guys that could save me if s**t went sideways.

#104

I attended an annual college bike tour which consists of everyone (about 500+) riding bikes around a neighborhood getting wasted. After about 3 hours into the event my friends bikes get stolen. I wasn’t around him when it happened but he finally found the guys who did it an covertly took one back but, the other guy who had his bike was about to get up and ride away with his bike. So he ran over to me and says “That guy stole my bike and he is about to ride off with it.” Without missing a beat I threw all of my stuff (backpack, glasses, neck koozie, and the red bull I just chugged) and stormed off to confront the guy with rage in my eyes. I’m about 6′ 185 and the guy was about 6’1 200 frat d*******g, (I’m in a fraternity also but I pride myself on trying to not act like a d**k) I stood in front of the bike, put my hand on the handlebars and the following conversation ensued:

Me: Is this your bike

Drunk Guy: yeah man

Me:What brand is it.
(He started to look down so I karate chopped his chest so he couldn’t look)

Me: WHAT BRAND IS IT…(no answer)
(We stare at each other sizing one another up, silence for what seems to be a minute, I see his fist balls up I get in a striking stance ready to deflect and f**k his s**t. A few more silent seconds go by, tension level over 9000)

His buddy finally comes over: dude just get off the bike man it’s not worth it.

Me: Get off the bike you know it’s not yours!

DG:…So if I just get off we don’t have to fight

Me: Yeah just get off the bike BRO

So he got off the bike and shook my hand and apologized.

#105

I got hired by an engineering firm as a summer intern. Show up to the office on my first day of work and they said I was supposed to report to Soandso at the warehouse a few miles down the road. So, I drive over to the warehouse and they start to go over what I will be doing all summer.

Essentially they used the title “engineering intern” to attract hard working and career oriented people and have them do manual labor for stupid cheap. The first day of work all I did was pick up trash around the warehouse, clean out a supply closest, and clean up behind the mechanics who were absolutely terrible.

I quit after 1 day. F**k that s**t.

#106

I teach special needs. Severely autistic dude in his 20s who was super strong and we suspected he had schizophrenia too. Nonverbal, severely violent, the whole 9. He was 2:1 (2 staff dedicated to him). Which is pretty much unheard of. He needed to be in a locked placement but that’s another story. I breaked my aide for lunch and go sit in the room. I see him in the corner of the classroom and I see he’s taking a c**p in his diaper. No big deal, I had a protocol. Shoes and socks off and walk to the bathroom with a pocket full of gloves.

We got to the bathroom and I clear all my pockets and take off my glasses. I take off his shirt. And it’s on. I managed to get his pants and diaper off. Then he decides to run in the stall and paint the stall and himself in fecal matter. All while trying to attack me and the other aide.

My aide was gagging. I told him to step out, get my vicks vapo rub (under the nose and in the nose will save any of those working in the population), a box of gloves, a bunch of trash bags, and a bunch of baby wipes.

I spent the next 40 minutes washing fecal matter off of a very hairy 20 year old who was trying to hit and bite me. Luckily he listened to me enough to grab to the top of the stall. Most of the time.

I went through 3 things of wipes and a box of gloves. I got him in a fresh diaper and fresh clothes. Told the aides I was done and went back to class. I told the aides there I was no longer there. The buses would be there soon. I’m not helping anyone because I’m not here.

I got home, stripped in the entry way, and took a 40 minute hot shower. Then had a (few) beers and a bowl in complete silence on the patio.

TL;dr s**t explosion, violent autistic man who can’t clean himself, I had to

**Edited to say: Stop with the eugenics comments. No matter the disability or the severity of the disability people still have rights. Mainly to be treated with dignity and respect. This guy didn’t do this out of anger or spite. He did it because of his disability. He is not his disability. His disability does not define who he is. As soon as we see a person as Bob the severely autistic dude who flings poop and bites, instead Bob who likes to play with toy trucks and listen to Mingus; we lose who Bob is (random name and scenario).**

**More than anything these individuals need a person who will be their voice and who will treat them with care and compassion. They literally have no voice. The way their disability presents itself makes them violent and people usually don’t respond with care and compassion. But that’s what they need because you may be that one person in their life that provides that to them.**

**My post was just one day that I had just had it and was done for the day because everything else that happened that day was too much and I was done. That’s all.**.

#107

Worked at a residential care facility and was doing in home care for two adult men with mental disabilities. The one gentleman was average, agreeable and generally just fine to work with. He ended up doing really well with me and I was tasked with things like grocery shopping, cooking and errands with him because he would actually stick to the plan and wouldn’t cause a fuss.

His roommate was the complete opposite. Total momma’s boy who had clearly been able to do whatever he wanted his whole life. Blew his budgeted grocery money on pop and other frivolous items? It’s cool, mom will be over shortly with a check for more. I understand they had the means and it was their choice, but the whole point of the living situation was to learn independence and how to lead as normal a life as possible.

On to the point where I said f**k it, I’m out. His mom bought him a blow up doll (everybody has needs, I understand) but he named it after me and would take it into the shower with him yelling my name the entire time. He was capable enough, so I never went into the bathroom, but I knew what he was doing. I had a discussion with his mom and program directors about trying to redirect this behavior because I didn’t feel it was healthy. I was told by his mother that my name was common and there’s no way to be sure it was me he was referring to.

Then he starts getting irrationally angry with me because I won’t be his girlfriend/respond when he’s participating in these activities. I bring it up again and it’s swept under the rug. On what would be my final day working with him, he tried to pin me in a corner and kiss me. He’s much larger and much stronger than I am. His roommate sees and is able to talk him down by threatening to ruin one of his games if he didn’t stop. He then threw a DVD case at me, hit me square in the eye and I ended up with a black eye.

Called my boss, said I was out and would not be returning as they clearly didn’t listen to my safety concerns. Felt bad that his roommate still had to live with him and thanked him profusely for stepping in, though.

#108

“You should get me and my sister pregnant at the same time so that they will be cousins AND siblings at the same time!”

Crazy outweighed the hot on that one. Her identical twin sister was also a bit…touched.

#109

Was married for 14 years to a not nice to me man. We had 2 children he basically ignored.

One day our 4 year old daughter crawled into his lap for a hug. He threw her on the floor.

Less than 6 months later…money saved, belongings packed and I was out of there with the kids. Even though he told me I wouldn’t be able to make it without him. Never looked back.

#110

Went to a borderline abandoned mall in my town and started exploring one of the abandoned restuarant. Got inside, walked into the back where it was dark, noticed the words “**GET OUT**” written in red on the wall, turned around and walked straight out.

Edit: this was at one of my friend’s birthday party, which he held at the last thing open at the mall, a really cool arcade place. But since the rest of the mall was abandoned we all ran around and did stupid things. And to make it better, we were all eating from a massive tub of sour gummy worms that my friend had found (unopened) in a dumpster, so honestly the fact that we chose to walk out while high on sugar was probably a miracle.

#111

Posted this last time:

Was in Phoenix on vacation and went out with my cousin. She takes me to a party on the third floor of an apartment. Probably 30 people.

Some girl shows up and there is some drama with some other guys not at the party. They say they’re coming over to the party and there is going to be a fight.

Two of the guys at the party go to their cars, grab guns and an ammo box full of ammo. There’s only one way out of this apartment and I’m not going to be there if this goes down.

Look at my cousin, “I don’t know any of these mother f*****s and I’m heading home tomorrow, can we get the f**k outta here?”.

#112

A couple years ago I was working as a stock boy in a grocery store. They f****d up my schedule and put me working while I had class, even after submitting my schedule three times. After not coming into work, they suspended me and said that I would have to talk to my boss.

I said f**k it and left, never went back to work there.

EDIT :

Obligatory “thanks for making this my top post”. After this job, I ended up doing some computer repair and now I am moving on to consulting. If you’re stuck in a s****y job, there is always another one just waiting for you to apply for it.

#113

I was raised as a mormon, and was heavily invested in that lifestyle. Then several years ago I was sitting there reading *The Demon-Haunted World: Science As A Candle in the Dark* by Carl Sagan; and I came across a passage where he gave examples of how ‘faith healing’ had about the same success rates as no action at all, whereas specific doses of certain d***s had a vastly and more predictably successful effect on those with certain illnesses.

For whatever reason that was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back and I almost instantly de-converted from both mormonism and theism in general.

#114

I was recently at an open mic night (music not comedy) and the band on stage sounded like they had held a contest across all Guitar Centers nationwide to find the loudest, sh*ttiest, least cohesive musicians that they could find.

I tried to tough it out and play bass just to get some playing time in, but the guy running sound wouldn’t fix where I was in the mix (my rig has me going straight into the PA, and I could literally only hear the bottom two strings on my bass). After a while I just sat down to spectate, but the loudness and sh*ttiness just escalated until I was forced to chug my beer and pack up.

Never again for that open mic. Yeesh.

#115

Fight broke out in front of me in a restaurant. Was still hungry.

#116

Maybe more metaphorical the the question intended, but around last August I had a REALLY bad day. I was tired, miserable, bored cranky, and had a headache. I went to bed hours early and woke up with a throbbing head at like 3 am. I suddenly got a bright idea and Googled the symptoms of depression and thought “Wow! That explains the last 8 years! F**K THAT I’m out, I ain’t dealing with that s**t.” I saw a doctor and was on medication within a week and I’ve been stable for a year now :D.

#117

When a senior member of staff, who had bullied and undermined me since the day they started working at my former workplace, threatened to put me on a capability hearing because my work was suffering. I had been going home in tears every night for months, I was at the point of committing s*****e, and my employers wouldn’t do anything about what was happening because…well, senior management. I put my keys on her desk, gave in my notice on the spot and moved halfway across the country.

#118

Few years back I had a job interview agreed on for a specific time but when I showed up it became clear that the company had scheduled multiple interviews with multiple applicants at the same exact time. That wouldn’t have been a problem itself but there was only two interviewers who both spoke to people one at a time so by my estimate I could have been forced to wait over an hour for my interview (there was no specific queue) even though I had agreed on a specific time with the recruiter. So I left pretty much instantly because if the company doesn’t care that they’re wasting the applicants time like this then I was afraid what kind of employer they would turn out to be.

#119

In 2011 or so when companies taking advantage of the desperation of the unemployed was in full swing (the recession was on pretty hard at that time) I found myself working for a temp agency that supplied day laborers. We had to come in every day as early as possible (they opened at 5) and get your name on The List. If they got a call in from someone who needed temp workers, they called out names on the list. if you were there, you got the job for the day.

they’d only call you out ONCE though. Say you were outside having a cig, or going to the bathroom- tough s**t. Furthermore, inside this place were chairs bolted to the ground facing a TV playing a safety training video on loop *all day.*

So, one day, I actually managed to land a job! Yay!

Other side of the city, I had to drive myself. Okay fine. I get there. We spooled *power cables* onto giant pallets for 8 f*****g hours.

End of the day. They’ll send us a check.

A week later, I get it. It was minimum wage, *and then* the company took *their fee out afterwards.** So, you ended up getting paid, essentially, two dollars below miniumum wage.

That’s when I said “f**k this, I’m out.”

About two years later, I got something in the mail about a class action lawsuit against them. I can’t remember what it detailed exactly, but of course I signed in on it, because f**k them.

**Six years later**, (like literally a few months ago) I finally got the payout. $8.

The end.

#120

When my emotionally a*****e ex started threatening physical violence against our less than a year old child for things like crying or touching stuff.

#121

Was on a class trip to San Francisco in middle school. We visited china town and went into a shop that sold fireworks, and some classmates bought some smoke bombs. The teacher saw and made sure to confiscate them for the rest of the trip. However, on of my roommates hid one to take back to the room. I had just walked into the room after breakfast when he had the great idea to light one in the hotel room and then throw it out the window, and I booed right on out of there as soon as I saw he had a lighter in his hand. He lit it, but didn’t realize the screen wouldn’t open until he’d already lit it. So then he tried to put it out in the sink. That didn’t work either. It kept burning and the smoke alarms in the hotel started going off and the entire building had to evacuate. The school ended up getting a $500 bill for cleaning and whatnot. Got questioned about it by the principal and teacher chaperones a few times when we got back. Can’t remember what happened to the kid but I think he got a few detentions.

#122

I woke up one morning and realized that my house was no longer my home. It was just a place where I was storing my s**t while going through the motions of my life.

Decided then and there I was going to sell the place in the spring, pack my s**t, and move somewhere new and start the next chapter of my life.

Unbelievably liberating, and I was extremely lucky to have been able to do it. Most people never have the flexibility, financially and/or emotionally, to do something like that.

#123

This wasn’t me, because i am not nearly bada*s enough to do anything like this.

my friends dad is a truck driver, and he used to pick up hitchhikers ALL THE TIME. one time, he picked up two of them, and they started on the journey to wherever they were going. after an hour, one decides he’s going to try and jack the truck, and pulls out a knife. well, my friends dad, being super badass, floors it, and says “you’re going to put that knife away, or i’m going to k**l us all” and steers directly towards the concrete dividers that were splitting the highway up ahead. the would be truck-jackers, put away the knife and sit quietly for the rest of the ride, and he STILL drops them off at their destination.

#124

Someone threatened to sneak into my house and k**l me in my sleep.

In one swift motion, I picked up a beer bottle and slammed it down, shattering half of it, pointed it at him, and said “I guess I’ll just have to k**l you now, then.”

I was pretty drunk and have no idea where that came from.

#125

King o’ the hipsters parked in front of my driveway the other day and I yelled out “Hey center of the universe family, I have places to be, move your car.”

As I was closing the door one yelled back “f**k off.” And I thought, what the f**k, a bunch of skinny jean a******s told *me* to f**k off?

So I walked back out to the edge of my property and said “just f*****g move your car a*****e.” And twatnozzle #1 who had an ironic mustache, skinny jeans, ‘vintage’ shirt, and horn rimmed glasses yells at me…

Him: “Go back in your house, F****T”

Me: “So you’re an inconsiderate a*****e AND homophobic.”

This turned him bright red (because he was not expecting that from my bare foot white trash a*s) and he came at me until his friend held him back.

His friend “You’re better than that!”

Me: “Based on the evidence I have available, I would have to say he is not.”

Hipster *turns to friends* “I’m walking home and grabbing my bike, I’m just pissed.”

Me *s**t eating grin the whole time* “Fixed gear?”

Hipster *gets in my face* “YOU ARE THE MOST IGNORANT PERSON I’VE EVER MET”

Me: “I’m not using slurs.”

Hipster: “F**K YOU.”

Me: “Enjoy the ticket.” (the police ticketed it before he got back)

hipster: “IT’S ONLY 25 DOLLARS!”

Me: “Unless I’m mistaken, that is about 5 hours as a starbucks barista… isn’t it?”

Hipster *walks away* “GO BACK TO SUCKING C***S.”

Me: “This is a gay friendly neighborhood, sir, I’d appreciate it if you kept your foul language to yourself.”

Hipster flips me the bird, I blow him a kiss.

Not really “badass” but I kept my complete cool the whole time and smiled and it was one of the few times I actually had comebacks that really stung. The best part is that from the looks of both of us, you’d think I’d be the one to use slurs (I’m a straight white hick). So I could tell pointing out his hate to him really rustled his jimmies.

#126

I caught a bullet fired from an M4.

We were on the range for Guard training, firing the M4. My group wasn’t on the line, so we were standing a few meters behind the group firing.

The group firing went from standing to prone position, and in doing so, one of the soldiers accidentally discharge her rifle. The round went through the edge of a sandbag, struck a heavy metal pipe right in front of the firing positions and ricocheted up in an arc toward our group, having lost most of its velocity.

On instinct, I stuck out my hand to catch it. I didn’t even have time to realize what had just happened before it melted a hole in my glove and burned my hand.

I love when people ask about the scar, and I get to say, “Oh that’s from the time I caught a bullet.”

EDIT: Obviously it wasn’t on purpose. Just instinct.

#127

Long story short passport got stolen only way back home was train from Oakland, California back to Canada. So I was sitting at the train station for like 2 hours and decided to go for a walk around that part of oakland (across from where the raiders and A’s play) being naive and from Canada I had no idea what this meant.

It took me less then 10 min to realize I made a horrible decision. A car started driving around the block i was walking down (I had a suitcase and a back pack and a large bag it was a long trip) After the 3rd time being circled around I decided to walk back and quickly. That worked well till I had to cross the parking lot. Where this car pulled in as well.

Now being from Canada all of a sudden the thought of all those scary stories of gang shootings and muggings from the American news got me scared.

I try not to profile people but the three guys who got out of the car are what we see as the typical gangster. pants to ankles gold chains gold teeth driving an old Cadillac. The driver steps in front of my walking path cause i’ve been trying to avoid eye contact.

He stops me and goes “Yo man you not from here” and laughs “What you got in there, hey I should check it out.” His two friends are leaning over the car and one pulls a bat out of the car and places it on the roof. This is where my instincts kick in and i lose control of any real thinking.

So I start yelling in the most aggresive way possible “I got my f*****g s**t that’s what I got, I’m from surrey f*****g BC and if you think pulling a bat out means you f*****g scare me, you think twice. You better have something more then that to get at me. I step over crackheads on my way to work every morning and I stabbed a guy for pushing me in a bus line so if you want to start something f*****g start it.”
Now, Obviously I’ve never stabbed anyone and I am from surrey and I do step over crackheads on the way to work. But I don’t know where any of this came from. By all physical appearances I’m a bit of a dork and I’m gay. So I have no idea where any of this came from but my heart was racing and this is what came out.

So I stood there for a few seconds breathing heavy fists clenched posed in some stupid looking come at me bro pose like i was ready to battle a lion. The guy looks at his other friends and then goes “my bad man” then gets back in the car and they leave. About a min after they left i actually had to sit down my legs would not work i was so scared. So that’s how i almost died.

#128

I was out in downtown Houston skating around with some friends when i told them i had to stop and p**s. so i walked into a narrow alley and just started peeing..i didnt see these 2 girls just smoking cigarettes staring at my dong. so i looked at them and smiled. right as i finished up, a couple of douchebags come up and just straight start harassing them..typical wanna f**k/you got a pretty mouth, dumb s***s. so i start to walk over to break that s**t up when a guy looks up at me and says “what the f**k you think you’re gonna do b***h?”
so i just started talking in a low voice in german just repeating lyrics from rammstein making it sound like a threatening sentence instead of a song.
then they freaked out because im a tall, fairly muscular m**********r. they left and girls said thanks and asked me what i said and i told them i dont know and left.

#129

Well its nothing really but I was walking home from a date past of lot of clubs and some guy just shouted “Hey look at that f****t”. Now if you knew me I am the most docile person you would ever encounter I just thought No. I have had a great day.
So I turned round said “Your Dad would know, f******d” to this he squared up to me and I just punched him and floored him in one and walked off on my merry way.

#130

Some guy tried picking a fight with me and got up in my face, and I yelled at him “hey a*****e, you’re in my bubble, gtfo of my bubble!” and some reason he backed off, flipped me off and walked away. I didn’t think it was very intimidating but It somehow made him leave lol.

#131

The other day this annoying obnoxious little f******d (looked like Eminem and was about 19 years old) walks into the fast food restaurant me and my coworkers were eating lunch at. He thinks he’s all hard and walks with a ghetto strut like he’s somebody special. He walks in with one of those ipod boom boxes blasting his crappy rap music. So loud no one can talk or eat in peace. Mind you there are old people around. The music was so loud. Totally appropriate for social setting. Sits at a table across from me, rips open his bag of food and proceeds to hump (move dooshy up and down back and forth) to his c**p music and then he throws his food wrapper on the floor. Not giving a single f**k. My blood begins to instantly boil.

I stand up (I’m very intimidating in stature) and yell to him in the most stern voice I’ve ever mustered up. “Turn that s**t off and pick up your wrapper.” The manager walked over as he knew something was about to go down and needless to say there was no more music and his garbage was picked up. The rest of the people in the restaurant gave me looks of praise for calling him out as it was totally bad a*s. Sometimes you have to put Eminem in his place. Little wiggers with no respect for others can be total bitches.

#132

Walked into a party in college I’m laughing with friends. There was this stocky dude who is kind of a d**k, sitting with his friends. I happen to glance at him. He gets pissed and says “What are you looking at?” Without missing a beat, I go stone face and say “YOU MOTHER F****R!” Dude’s eyes go wide. He just says “ok.” Everyone bursts out laughing, party resumes. Good times.

#133

So this wasn’t me, and as long winded as this is about to be, few people will probably read it, but here goes.

This friend of mine, name of Dylan, and I used to hang out a lot in high school, since we were on the swim team together. He tended to fit the whole “d*******g” stereotype on the surface, but was actually f*****g hilarious, super nice, and insanely fun to be around (emphasis on the *insane*). He was a couple of years older than me, so during my senior year of high school he was at some liberal arts college near the coast getting a hippie-major in piano performance some such b******t. Well, he got himself kicked out of there because he and his roommate stashed **over $1000 worth of booze in their fridge and ceiling tiles** in the dorm. But that’s just backstory.

So he comes back home, we play CoD all summer and do whatever, and he joins the Navy and starts working out even more constantly than he always used to (he’s a gym rat). So being the testosteroned-out crazy m**********r he was, he naturally bought a c****h rocket. He loved wheelies on that thing more than life (they were almost mutually exclusive), so on the 4th of July while at a friend’s house, he decides to do wheelies, at night, on a narrow, hilly residential street. So while he’s showing off doing that, one of the guys there decides that it would be hilarious to shoot bottle rockets at him. So he takes the first few like a champ, but loses his balance just enough when one hits him in the helmet to flip the motorcycle over. He goes flying, headfirst, over the handlebars at no less than 15 mph. F****d, right? Wrong. He does some straight up ninja s**t, somersaults and **lands on his f*****g feet, unscathed, while the motorcycle is completely totaled.**

Since his lease expired a little later in the summer, he moved back in with his parents for a few weeks until he was deployed for basic (he’s in the Navy), and one week his parents are gone. Queue an entire week of pretty f*****g wild parties. Well one night, these 3 douchebags don’t want to leave when he says leave, while holding a large stick from the garage (which was where the beer pong was going on, so most people were out there). One of them says something like “put down the stick and fight [the three of us all at once] like a man, p***y.” Well what does he do? He drops that m***********g stick. We came downstairs (his closer friends were upstairs cooking some food, since the party was downstairs and winding down), to see him **holding the one kid by the hair with his left hand, and beating the everloving s**t out of the two bigger dudes with his right.** Yeah. They left quickly.

I have too many stories about this guy, and this post is already way too long, but **TL;DR my friend’s middle name is pretty much “Don’t f**k with me.”**.

#134

One time way back in the day around 5th grade my crush came up to me and asked me what my name was and if I wanted to be her boyfriend. I immediately and unintentionally introduced myself as James Bond does, “My name is Bond, James Bond”.

Obviously used my real name though. I felt pretty badass.

#135

I remember during the first week as a freshman in high school (All-Boys Catholic, just to set a visual for you guys), I was waiting outside with the other students to get picked up by their parents. As cars were lining up, one of my classmates came up to me. As usual, because of my Asian descent, I was asked some questions.

“Where am I from?”

“I was born in the US, but the parents are from the Philippines”

“Do you know martial arts?”

“Yah I dabbled in Karate and Arnis”

From experience, when you answer the 2nd question with a YES of some sort, you either one of two responses: One with intrigue and interest, and the other with douchebaggery and smugness. He responded with the 2nd response.

“Ok, why don’t you show me something?”

“…Um, show you something, like what?”

“Like if I did this!!”

He grabbed me by the collar with both hands, sort of rough and tight. Just how I like it, actually. I’m about 5’5, and he was about 6’0. I remember looking up at him.

“Oh ok, this…”

In an instant, I slammed my elbows down against his forearms, breaking the lock he had. Then I grabbed his shirt with both hands, turned around, and with a simple motion of the body and hips, I threw him on his back.

As he was looking at the sky, the look of pain on his face and the occasional groaning allowed him to swallow his pride, and stopped the douchebaggery. I guess that’s what happens when you have the wind knocked outta you, as you land with 20-30 lbs of books on your back.

“So yah, that’s the simple gist of it…”

I walked to the sunset, as I got into the car of my brother, riding away to home. Home. That’s where the heart is.

#136

Worked at a huge bar down in Memphis for awhile working my way through school as a bartender. A huge fight breaks out in the middle of the main floor right in front of the stage. Bottles are being thrown so I know I have to get involved and do something. I hop onto the bar top and do a flying superman dive into the middle of the fight and take out probably 8 people and as I am getting up from my less than graceful swan dive a dude grabs my shoulder. At this point my adrenaline is pumping on overload and I spin around and lay this huge muscle bound dude out cold. The adrenaline starts to slow down and my tunnel vision ceases and I look around to see everyone just standing their with a look of “Ohhhh F**k”. Police come in and haul off the hooligans and as I walk back to the bar the crowded room just parts for me and made me feel like I was the baddest m**********r on the planet. Plus, the rest of the night people would order drinks and say “d**n dude, you handled your business” and then would tip extremely well.

Second place goes to when I was driving home one day and accidentally cut off a guy because I was trying to get over because of a really bad wreck. Guy starts riding my a*s and honking his horn and flipping me off. I decide to cut down a back street to get away from this a*s and he follows me. I take turn after turn trying to loose this guy. I finally decide to stop and pull over in a residential neighborhood. This guy gets out with a f*****g tire iron and starts walking to my car. I stay in the car and he comes up and starts trying to open the door yelling out “get the f**k out of the car f****t” I pull out my concealed carry pistol and tell him to get back in his f*****g car before I drop his a*s. He ran and I got a new tire iron. Called the police and had to wait for them because I didn’t want said a*****e to call and say I was the aggressor and was brandishing a weapon.

#137

I used to get in fights a lot, but I think the best one was at a bar with my buddy watching a baseball game. My buddy loves the Red Sox and doesn’t drink, and I think baseball is stupid but LOVE drinking, so we reached a kind of compromise. Anyway while my friend Scott is chatting up this girl next to him about “the Sox,” (or whatever) these two guys next to us in Yankees jerseys are becoming more and more belligerent. Yelling, throwing s**t at the tv, and just generally being a******s. Now, I know enough about baseball to know Boston and New York hate each other (Hell, I’m originally from Philadelphia, we hate EVERYONE) but I didn’t think these two were gonna be much trouble aside from being loud.

Then, for whatever reason, one of the big New Yorker guys decides to dump a full beer on this Red Sox chick my friend was talking to. At this point my entirely sober friend said something along the lines of “Hey, dude, what the f**k…?”

The guy turned to my buddy, reeled drunkenly for a moment, and then leaned way back and made that “hocking a loogie” sound, and right as he leaned in to spit I swung at him, forgetting I still had a full beer mug in my hand (according to my friend and his ladyfriend the spit “totally came all the way out of his mouth, hit the mug, and then went back into his face when the mug hit him. It was wicked awesome!)

Now, mind you, I’m completely hammered, but as far as the New York bros were concerned I came out of f*****g nowhere like an inebriated batman because at the time I was sitting at a table behind the whole group (wingmanning is a subtle art) so as this dude hits the floor bloody and sputtering, his other New York bro looks at me mouth agape, takes two steps back…

…and then I got jumped by the bouncers and was dragged out of the bar yelling “F**k New York” the entire way because I was too drunk to think of a good badass line.

#138

Not quite as bada*s as most of these stories, but I’ve got a good one. Just to provide a bit of context, I’m a super skinny, wimpy, white male, and I’m a really nice guy who you’d never expect to lash out at someone.

Back in high school, there was this kid who liked to mooch off everybody else’s lunch just because he never bought/packed his own. You know, the whole “I’m *really* poor so you should definitely give me all your food. I need it more than you” routine. He wasn’t really, he just liked to take our food because he could. Every now and again I’d give him half a sandwich or something, beause like I said–I enjoy being a nice person. But one day I just snapped.

He grabbed my whole lunch bag from right in front of me without even asking for anything, and before I even started to eat my own food. In an instant, I dove across the lunch table, grabbed him by his shirt, pulled him completely over to my side, and growled “Give me my f*****g lunch back, a*****e” in his face. I got it back. It was delicious.

I’d call this a bada*s moment of mine because I never, *ever* act out like that. I’m usually pretty submissive and soft about things. But goddamnit, I was excited for my Little Debbie’s and ham sandwich, and I wasn’t gonna let some p***k take them from me! All my friends were totally shocked, too. They had no idea I was even capable of sticking up for myself like that. Guess that’s one way to keep people from messing with you!

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