If age is just a number, then a prison cell is just a room. When they say that hangovers get worse after your mid-twenties, they’re not lying. Because, heck, they do, and a few bevvies can take a day to recover and two pills of Ibuprofen to get that clapping monkey with cymbals out of one’s head.

Do you know what is even less fun? Turning 30. By 30, you’re expected to have a house, two children and to have seen the Taj Mahal. Oh, and about 50 grand in your savings account. I know you’ve come here to read jokes about turning 30, but turning 30 is a joke in itself.

Okay, okay, it’s not THAT bad. Well, perhaps your knees and back don’t feel like they were when you were 18, but yakno, it’s bearable. So whether you’re looking for turning 30 jokes, funny birthday puns for a friend who’s turning 30 soon, or just want to laugh at yourself, you’ve come to the right place.

Below, we’ve compiled a lengthy list of 30th birthday jokes, jokes about getting old(er), and just witty adult jokes. Take a look at the funny jokes we have gathered, and let us know if any made you crack a smile! And show off those pearly whites more often while you still have them *winking face*.

P.S. if you’re looking for funny birthday wishes, we got you covered!

#1

“As long you don’t have kids your 30’s are like your 20’s but with money.”

#2

“I’m 30, but I still feel like I’m 20… until I hang out with 20-year-olds. Then I’m like, no, never mind, I’m 30.”

#3

“Welcome to 30! The age when you should know better, but really don’t!”

#4

” When someone says ‘ten years ago,’ I think about the 90s, not the 2012s.”

#5

One day she noticed a gray hair in her bangs. She turned to her husband, pointed to her forehead, and said, “Have you seen this?”
“What?” he said. “You mean the wrinkles?”

#6

“You’re 30! From now on, if you get pregnant, people will assume you did it on purpose.”

#7

“I finally reached the perfect age. Somewhere between 29 years and none of your business!”

#8

“Inside every thirty year old is an eighteen-year-old asking, ‘What happened?’”

#9

“Welcome to your 30s. Ibuprofen is an acceptable breakfast.”

#10

“The chanting of “Shots, shots, shots!” sounds more threatening than exciting.”

#11

“I’m oficially ‘You look good for your age’ years old.”

#12

“How can you say we are old after 30? We just became women! Like anyone took us seriously in our 20s…”

#13

“Bad news: you’re thirty. Good news: the clothes you wore as a teenager are now vintage. Hope you rock that vintage style on your 30th birthday.”

#14

“Me in my 20s: secretaly hates everyone. Me in my 30s: publicly hates everyone.”

#15

“Season 30, episode 1.”

#16

“Turning 30? Age is just a number!”
” False: Age is a word.” – Dwight Shrute

#17

“You’ll never be trusted by a teenager again. You’re officially too old to trust.”

#18

“You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.”

#19

“Your 30s – where if you don’t get 8 hours of sleep one night you’ll pay for it for a week.”

#20

“Don’t worry about being 30. You’ll get over it within a decade.”

#21

“When you turn 30, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents.”

#22

“It’s true — your body will start hurting in places you didn’t know possible.”

#23

“30 isn’t old. Depressing, but not old.”

#24

“When you turn 21 you finally experience the freedom of full throttle. If you make it to 30, it means you’ve discovered there’s a brake pedal too.”

#25

“I was thirty-two when I started cooking. Up until then, I just ate.”

#26

“Your life might finally be together, but your body is falling apart.”

#27

“It’s 8:30 p.m. and you want to start a movie this late?”

#28

“You’re not like a regular 30 year old… you’re a cool 30 year old.”

#29

“I remember the good old days when I was 30, and all my kids were shorter than me.” – Melanie White

#30

“In your 20s, you learned a lot, grew as a person, and had tons of fun. Now in 30s keep that stuff up.”

#31

“Turning 30? The good news is you can now afford the $10 bottle of wine.”

#32

“30 is the new 20*”

*said no one ever.

#33

“Don’t worry about turning 30. You’ll get used to it. Of course, you’ll be 40 by then.”

#34

“I’m not 30. I’m only $29.95 plus tax.”

#35

“Looks 18. Acts 12. That makes me 30!”

#36

“Life not only begins at 30, it begins to show.”

#37

“Congratulations, you now have 30 excuses to let someone younger than you lift something heavy.”

#38

“Congratulations on reaching Level Thirty! You might want to save your progress – it gets waaaay harder from here.”

#39

“After your 30th birthday, you are officially closer to 40 than you are to 20.”

#40

“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”

#41

“30 is that age where your mind still thinks you’re 29, your humor suggests you’re 12 while your body mostly keeps asking if you’re sure you’re not dead yet.”

#42

“30: when stuff your mom said starts to make sense.”

#43

“Being 30 isn’t so bad. At least your car insurance premiums go down.”

#44

“Turning 30? Look on the bright side. You’re still too young to be president.”

#45

“People are like, ‘I’m engaged!’ ‘I’m getting married!’ and I’m like, ‘Damn, I’m turning 30!’”

#46

“Welcome to the age your childhood self couldn’t even fathom.”

#47

“The countdown to your mid-life crisis has officially begun.”

#48

“Getting carded is a compliment. It used to be a nuisance. Now it might as well be a pickup line.”

#49

“One good thing about turning 30: you’re not turning 40.”

#50

“‘You’re still a rockstar,’ I whisper to myself as I take my multivitamin and climb into bed at 21:45.”

#51

“Time and tide wait for no one, but time always stops for a woman of thirty.”

#52

“Vintage 1992, aged to perfection.”

#53

“At 30 you finally start to catch up on those dreams you’ve been chasing for the last 10 years.”

#54

“Dating after 30 is like ‘Are we doing this or not? I have stuff to do.'”

#55

“Your 30s – one year closer to having dinner at 5pm.”

#56

“After 30, a body has a mind of its own.”

#57

“Too old for TikTok, too young for Life Alert.”

#58

“Look on the bright side, at least you don’t have to dread turning 30 anymore.”

#59

“The epitaphs on tombstones of a great many people should read: died at thirty, and buried at sixty.”

#60

“I wanted to get you a birthday cake, but I couldn’t afford that many candles!”

#61

“Nothing changes when you cross thirty, except that you have to replace your moisturizer with anti-aging cream.”

#62

“Life before 30 is for making mistakes, and life after 30, is to repent for all of them.”

#63

“You’re turning 29 again?! You freak of nature.”

#64

“I’ve decided I’m not old. I’m 25 plus shipping and handling.”

#65

“May your 20s rest in perfect peace.”

#66

“Yes, 10:00 p.m. is just too late now.”

#67

“The only drinking game you play is ‘Take a Sip Whenever You Damn Well Please.’”

#68

“Happy first anniversary of your 29th birthday!”

#69

“Have fun waking up at 6 a.m. every morning to drop your kids off at school, unless you tell them to take the bus – in that case, have fun sleeping in and feeling guilty!”

#70

“If you were a card, you’d be an antique!”

#71

“Being 30 years old is not a joke, but it can be a lot of laughs.”

#72

“There used to be a show called ’30 Something’ and if you can remember it, you’re beyond it.”

#73

“After turned 30 you not feel any different now that I am 30 years old, maybe a little bit more breathless after turning off all my candles.”

#74

“When you were 24, you didn’t even get to the bar until 11 p.m. Now, you’re in bed and asleep before the monologue on SNL.”

#75

“Thursday is no longer part of the weekend.”

#76

The sound you make after drinking whiskey at 22: “Gackerbleck.”
The sound you make after drinking whiskey at 30: “Mmmmm, sweet, sweet, nectar of the gods.”

#77

“You wouldn’t be caught dead alone at a bar in your 20s. But now, it’s the ultimate luxury. Just you, a drink, and then another drink.”

#78

“Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway!”

#79

“Night sweats and hot flashes are nature’s way of lowering your heating bill so you can save more money for your retirement.”

#80

“30s… when ‘happy hour’ is a nap!”

#81

“You develop a safe drinking strategy on nights out.”

#82

“Oh you’re 30? One drink means 3 days of a hangover.”

#83

“Welcome to your 30s! Body parts start hurting for no reason.”

#84

“Ugh. Your thirties… Where your friends from high school don’t invite you to their kids birthday parties anymore.”

#85

“At thirty you can get flirty without being dirty.”

#86

“You’re not really 30. You’re 18 with 12 years of experience.”

#87

“Thirties? More like the ‘hurties.’ Strange little pains that somehow invade your knees, back and occasionally your digestive system. They seem to be immune to prayer and wishful thinking.”

#88

“Don’t feel down. 30 years old is only 120 months older than 20, and it’s going to be almost the same – just subtract 90% of the fun.”

#89

“Don’t worry about turning 30. You can say you’re 29 for several more years, and people will believe it!”

#90

“Forget parties, gym memberships, and makeup. It’s time to spend all your money on cats, dogs and children!”

#91

“You are now an official mature and responsible adult. This means you also have to start acting like one.”

#92

“Wow, you’re 30 now. There’s no better time in your life to celebrate with friends or family… except if you’re 29 or younger.”

#93

“Happy 30th Birthday, only 35 more years of working, and you can retire.”

#94

“Relax, your 30s are just like your 20s, except you look 10 years older, and everything is a little less fun.”

#95

“Have fun on your birthday, but don’t get too crazy. Remember that you can’t blame your irresponsible behavior on “being in your 20s” anymore.”

#96

“Life turned 30 is less about knowing how old you are and more about believing how young you feel.”

#97

“Turning thirty is the moment when you are old enough to understand life’s bigger responsibilities but young enough to shirk some of them while you still can.”

#98

“I can’t believe it took you thirty years to grow up. Better late than never, though.”

#99

“Thinking about turning 30 seemed like a fairy tale when we were kids.”

#100

“Congratulations on being one year closer to a senior citizen’s discount at the movies.”

#101

“The only thing a line in front of a bar means is that there’s a large crowd inside. And you don’t do crowds anymore.”

#102

“Gone are the days of having to hear about what you did on Saturday night from another person.”

#103

“If you start drinking at 1 p.m., you best believe you’re on the couch watching Friends reruns with a family-sized bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos by 7.”

#104

“Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get up again!”

#105

“When high schoolers start looking like preschoolers to you… You might be a 30-year-old.”

#106

“Stop worrying about your age. There will be many other problems to worry about in life after you turn thirty.”

#107

“On a scale of 1-10, feeling a solid 30.”

#108

“No more wondering if you should be out at a club, now its at home with wine and pizza.”

#109

“Your 30s: where a day of drinking requires recovery time like a minor surgery.”

#110

“Turning 30 is as easy as jumping rope… If the rope were covered in hard metal spikes, you were barefoot, and the ground was covered in hot lava.”

#111

“Happy 29 + 1th! But seriously, you’re going to have to come to terms with this eventually.”

#112

“Recycled teenager.”

#113

“The good thing about turning 30 is if you don’t want to do something, you can say, ‘I’m too old to do that!'”

#114

“Your Facebook feed is inundated with baby pictures and wedding photos.”

#115

“30s life hack: put your Nespresso machine next to your bed.”

#116

“If you think about it this way, you’re only 21 years and 3,285 days old.”

#117

“Don’t think of it as turning 30. We’re here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your 20th birthday.”

#118

“In dog years, you’d be getting closer to your death.”

#119

“30 is a nice round number. Let’s just hope it doesn’t correspond to your figure.”

from Bored Panda https://ift.tt/cUighdE
via IFTTT source site : boredpanda