“Nice is different than good.”
If you’re a fan of Into the Woods, perhaps you remember when Little Red sings that painfully pertinent line after her frightful encounter with the wolf. And while she had no knowledge of predators on Tinder or creepy men following women to their cars after leaving bars late at night, she did learn a valuable lesson that, sadly, most women also learn at a shockingly young age.
Women on Reddit have been sharing stories of their worst encounters with “nice guys” who later showed their true colors, so we’ve gathered some of the creepiest and most disturbing ones below. As we all know, actions speak louder than words, and if someone is actually a decent person, they won’t need to try to convince you of that. Yet the “nice guys” of the world still persist…
Keep reading to find an interview with Laura Coronado, host of the There Are No Nice Guys podcast, and be sure to upvote the stories that you find most frustrating. Then, if you’re looking to read a Bored Panda article that will restore your faith in men, you can hear about times guys actually helped women escape from potentially dangerous situations right here.
#1
A random guy held my crutches for me as I walked down some stairs at uni. He seemed nice and joked about how he once broke a foot, it’ll get better, etc etc. We get to the bottom and he asks if we could get some coffee. I thank him, but tell him I’m seeing someone so he just drops my crutches on the floor and walks away
Image credits: Montastic
#2
I have a reproductive issue. It won’t kill me but for the most part, I can’t have kids. I had confided in a male friend of mine about some of the sadness I was having over it, coupled with a bad breakup I had just gone through, and he tried to cheer me up by saying “but you’re perfect”.
I was confused so I asked him to elaborate.
“You’re hot. You look like Black Widow. You’re funny. And you can’t ever get pregnant. What guy wouldn’t want you?”
When I told him that wasn’t a compliment, he told me that I’m too much of a Social Justice Warrior to see when a real gentleman pays me a compliment.
Image credits: raccoonbae
#3
I once was out with friends and my drink was spiked. One dude stayed with me to take care of me and my other friends left because we all knew him. Turns out he spiked my drink himself so he could ‘save me’ and show me how caring he was.
Edit: since people are asking how I found out, he told a mutual friend thinking that the guy would think it was a cool move. Our friend did not think it was cool, and told me what happened.
This dude also laced the one-hitter we were using with something that same night. I could have died, but he really thought he was being a genius pick up artist. The worst part is that we had actually been talking for a week or so before this – I clearly already liked him, and he still felt the need to do this.
Keep your eyes on your drink and trust your instincts.
Image credits: sweetrhymepurereason
#4
* Found out my address from friends, let himself into my house while I was sleeping. Worse than Twilight. After being forcibly ejected from said house, called to ask what the “status of our relationship” was (we had gone on a mediocre lunch date a few weeks before). Kept convincing aforementioned friends to talk me into giving him a second chance because he was such a nice guy. Got my subsequent addresses the same way, kept showing up and leaving letters/parcels for years.
* Super stalker. Went to all my classes, despite being in a totally different major. Followed me around campus on his bicycle. Would insist on trying to follow me home to protect me from “bad guys” because he was a nice guy that wanted to be my friend. Waited outside a library for 7 hours until it closed to make sure he could follow me home. Trapped me inside a study room and wouldn’t let me leave until I agreed to give him a chance and let him “protect” me by being my boyfriend. Repeated this several times despite police intervention. Kept insisting it was all a mistake and he wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was really helping me by being nice and I was super ungrateful.
* Left miniskirts on my desk at work. Stopped by several times every day to either awkwardly compliment my appearance (ex. telling me 5 times that stripes accentuate my features) or that the clothes he just happened to have lying around would look great on me if I wanted to try them on a wear them. Kept trying to touch me or massage me to help me relax. Acted aghast in HR meetings that “friendly compliments” could be “received so poorly” and ended up getting me written up for being culturally insensitive. Like, I offended his god-given average old white man right to feel me up and hit on me however he wanted.
Image credits: bluemoosed
#5
Met on a dating site between relationships. Described himself as nice and respectful. “What a woman wants is important!”
We met at a seafood restaurant and he was really nice and respectful. He tried to pull my chair out but I’d done it myself. I jokingly offered to pull his chair out. We’d had a nice dinner, but didn’t really “click”. He seemed perfectly fine. After the scallops we talked about life goals and then wrapped the dinner up. He asked me when he could see me again and I said “I had a great time BRIANBOT 2000, but I am not sure a second date will work out. Good luck dating!” and put my half of the dinner tab down. He’s been honest and so had I that we’d had a couple of other people “on deck” and were just testing the waters.
BRIANBOT2000 rebooted, NiceGuy.exe crashed. He flipped his chair over bolting up and started yelling about how I was a s**t and wasted his time and if I wasn’t going to put out then I could have at least paid for my meal (as my money and a tip were already on the table?)
I walked away and stopped doing dating sites.
Another “nice guy” held me hostage in my bathroom at knife point because I broke up with him, but BRIANBOT 2000 was by far the worst.
Edit: for clarity, it was the force with which he stood, that causes his chair to flip backwards. I didn’t mean to imply he’d gone all wwf.exe
Image credits: anon
#6
Met this guy online through one of my friends. He seemed pretty nice, so I would text him periodically throughout the day and he wanted to video chat once so we did.
He became obsessed with me and wanted to call every night before he went to bed. He told me I would be the perfect wife and that we should have 3 kids. He wanted to move me out to the cattle ranch he owned and operated so we could get married and start a family. We had been talking for maybe two weeks.
I was looking for a job to get through college and jokingly shared a “now hiring dancers” sign at the local strip club on Snapchat. He went ballistic and told me he couldn’t be with a girl who had no respect for herself. We weren’t even dating, but he “broke up” with me on my birthday.
Image credits: wanderluststricken
#7
Luckily I haven’t been had to deal with anything too terrible, but…
There was this guy last year that got on the westbound bus a little after I did, and then we got off at the same stop and waited together for the northbound bus.
He was nice. He was friendly. He took an interest in the classes I was taking. I kinda viewed him as this kind of grandfatherly type of man, since he was in his 60s or 70s. I’m in my late twenties, for reference.
One night, I had to go to the store that’s right by that bus stop we waited together at. I got stuck behind someone who took a while in line, so I was rushing to make the bus (because even though it’s a “Time Point,” where they’re supposed to stop and wait if they’re ahead of schedule, some of the drivers don’t).
I’m running up, and the driver did actually wait like he was supposed to. He was taking a smoke break out by the stop, and said, “Don’t worry, the old guy let me know you were coming.”
Awesome, super nice, right? I go in, old guy says pretty much the same thing: he let the driver know I’d be out shortly, and the driver decided to take a smoke break while they waited.
Then the old guy passed me a note, told me to read it when I got home.
It said, “Does that deserve a kiss someday?”
I know that’s not the worst thing in the world, but…
I started taking a later bus. It meant I didn’t get home until about nine, but I didn’t have to deal with him anymore.
Image credits: Tsunoba
#8
I was potentially interested in an acquaintance. Spent some time with him, decided I didn’t want to date him, said no when he asked me out. He kept calling me up to tell me he could see I was broken and he was going to save me
Image credits: SalamandrAttackForce
#9
Became friends with this guy in college. After graduation he got a job and moved in with his girlfriend about an hour’s drive from where I was in grad school. I drove out one Saturday to see him, did some cool things, grabbed some food. He waited until his girlfriend was in the bathroom before he told me the following: my boyfriend probably had a low sperm count due to his profession, and if I ever wanted a family, he’d always be willing to “take me back” even though we’d never been together.
Yeah, haven’t seen him since.
Edit: for those who are having a hard time parsing this – Nice guy says MY boyfriend probably has low sperm count, offers to start family with me.
Image credits: duckspunk
#10
That one time he tried running me over with a truck when I was on holiday.
Image credits: SmokyTheKoala
#11
Followed me back to my dorm from class and invited himself to get lunch with me when I tried to divert to a dining hall so he wouldn’t know where I lived. Constantly berated me for not making enough eye contact with him the whole time (I was desperately looking around hoping I’d spot someone I knew to save me). Would constantly message me and make up stupid pet names for me and plan dates that I turned down every time. I eventually had to threaten going to the police to get him to leave me alone and had to let the professor of the class we were in together know so we wouldn’t be assigned to any group projects together. Then another time I had a guy try to pull the “I have cancer” card to get me to pity date him. I’m sorry but no. I also had a lot of male “friends” totally disappear on me when I got married. Friends I’d routinely interact with on Facebook and such and considered actual friends, just straight up unfriended me as soon as my relationship status changed to “married”. That one stung a bit because I thought we were actually friends but it turned out they were just waiting around for something that was never going to happen.
- You might also like: 22 Reasons Why People Ended Things With These Men That Seem Small, Yet Are Important
Image credits: ptdoggo
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